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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



chitoryu12 posted:

black market bologna

Mods, username change plz

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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




Truly the most dont-know-what-i-expected.gif of headlines

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Zereth posted:

This isn't loading for some reason, what the hell is "conducted energy weapon"?

article posted:

A conducted energy weapon and the vehicle believed to be used to deliver drugs were seized.

Literally all it says. Disappointingly, some googling says it's just a taser or taser-adjacent weapon.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




Hell of a way to find out

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Good Cheese Exists Today Because of an Old Fruit Fly and Some Sex
:pervert:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Personally I'm glad Casu Marzu is illegal :colbert:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



I would like to state for the records that I have nothing against forums user Casu Marzu, nor do I believe they are dangerous, illegal, or filled with maggots

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



All Cops Are Beatin' it

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Splicer posted:

Would you be willing to state this under oath

No

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



2019 Closes with Thousands of 10-Inch Pulsing “Penis Fish” Stranded on a California Beach

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Just wanted to thank everybody for making me think about eating those, something I definitely wanted in my mind :tipshat:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




OK, I'm actually both horrified and delighted (horriflighted? :stonklol:) to find out these actually are viable as food

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Brussel sprouts turning out to be delicious broiled is true and weird news, I just don't have a good corresponding headline for it :shrug:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



drat, wish I'd invested in memes way back in '06, I'd be diving into a swimming pool full of money right about now

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Krankenstyle posted:

these news are very weird to me

How about this Funky, ‘Non-Aggressive’ Chicken Found Wandering The Streets Of Brooklyn

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Catholic Church Used Crop Duster To Spray Holy Water Over Louisiana Town
:tinfoil:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



BattleMaster posted:

LOL surprise! Finger clamper

He's just salty because Loss Of Limbs was his actual intended glamp surprise

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



"You think you've got problems? I'm the literal avatar of all that is evil and unholy. Anyway, just chill out"

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



PubicMice posted:

When did LOL Surprise progress from "slutty babies" to just "slutty"? And how is it possible that it's actually worse somehow?

LOL Surprise!

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Ah, just ironic homophobia then

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



AlbieQuirky posted:

The original Pet Sematary was way bettah :colbert:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Men are paying $76,000 for a limb-extending surgery that involves breaking leg bones and inserting nails and screws
:gonk:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



New research finds Jupiter is flinging asteroids at Earth
:ohdear:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Cats can have little a of your corpse, as a treat

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Meet Hulk, the puppy who was born bright green

(and has since turned yellow)

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




Turns out it had somehow gotten its hands paws on a whole bunch of licorice in there.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Weird News Headlines: Putting the Fat in Fatwa

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



The jumbo jihadi

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Captain Hygiene posted:

Cats can have little a of your corpse, as a treat

Feral cats break into human body farm to eat decomposing human corpses
:hmmyes:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Guy In Florida Loads Car With Frozen Iguanas, They Warm Up, Come Back To Life, Cause Car Accident

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Aleph Null posted:

If you put a male sex robot and a female sex robot in the same room, will you get perpetual motion?

That's how you get a robocalypse, you fool!

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Endangered Hawaiian monk seals keep getting eels stuck up their noses and scientists want them to stop

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Knormal posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcOY8ziJdLk

I really want to see another remake of The Mummy where this is the sound the mummy makes throughout the movie.

Well that's a heck of a thing to see pop up in your face as you're getting ready to drowse off. Thanks, thread :zombie:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Honj Steak posted:

Just wanted to remind you that anybody who watched this is now cursed. :eng101:

I was too scared to watch it :smug:

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Can't argue with results!

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Infamous Florida Easter Bunny Arrested After Hit-and-Run

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPr8ZqRHTQo

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




"The boulder appears to be shrinking now, repeat, the boulder appears to be shrinking as we walk away from it"

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Punxsutawney Phil should be replaced with AI groundhog, says PETA
:awesomelon:

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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Honestly just prepend "Killer" to the Australian name for anything and the problem's solved.

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