Top City Homo posted:

there's miley cyrus look alike porn now

its pretty good

Automatic Slim posted:

Dr. Who Peter Capaldi regenerates into Dr. Who Idris Elba. Production moves from soggy Great Britain to the gritty streets of Baltimore.
First person to let the words "timey-wimey" slip out of their mouths gets a beat down.

Applewhite posted:

The Doctor's wacky aunt comes to stay in the TARDIS while her TARDIS is being fumigated.

Applewhite posted:

Snippy Snaps: "Clip clap, flippity flap, better look out for Snippy Snaps" intone a bunch of creepy children. Snippy Snaps is an ambulatory marionette with googly eyes and big, rosy cheeks. When the nursery rhyme character starts killing people in Victorian London, the Doctor and Clara have to stop him. He turns out to be a wanted criminal on the run from the Shadow Proclamation who is operating the marionette as a disguise (his true form is a tiny bug).

Rambling Robot posted:

Doctor Sperg

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

Here's a title for you:

Doctor Whodunnit

The Walking Dad posted:

It turns out that Christ is actually himself a time traveling otaku, and that he and the Apostles have dedicated their lives to maintaining the timeline in which the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki occurs, and the perpetual humiliation of the japanese people to ensure that Otaku culture survives. In a conversation with the Emperor in the heart of Kyoto, Christ admits that Mary Magdalene was in fact a body pillow in the likeness of a character in the Touhou franchise.

Applewhite posted:

Yo Quiero Taco Hell: Have you ever said your job was Hell? Well, when Biffo Spugs and Tam Winston say it, they mean it literally!
Hell-World that is, the galaxy's premiere damnation-themed fun park. Biffo and Tam work at "Taco Hell," a food kiosk somewhere on Hell world. It's just a boring summer job until the park animatronics go wrong and start attacking people! The pair narrowly escape being skewered by a capering Mephistopheles when they are saved by The Doctor and Clara.
It turns out Hell-World pulls double duty as a prison complex, where the condemned have their brains removed and placed in the animatronic figures of the damned to be poked and boiled alive for eternity while the patrons watch and laugh (from a safe distance of course). Because, as The Doctor observes, "That's what Heaven and Hell are all about, innit? You Righteous enjoying your comfy spot up in the clouds, pointing and laughing at everyone who was ever mean or unpleasant to you spending an eternity getting tormented. Only you lot got impatient and decided you didn't want to wait until after you died to receive your reward."
It turns out the AI running the park has passed judgement on all the park attendees and decided everyone belongs in hell. The Doctor and Clara fight their way through various imps and demons until they reach the computer's central core where The Doctor declares the park's creator left something out when they were programming the AI: forgiveness.
The Doctor hooks himself up to the machine (the human/machine interface resembles being crucified), and his forgiveness is big enough to encompass everyone. The Park AI releases all the souls trapped in hell, restoring their human bodies before shutting down forever.

Applewhite posted:

the episode concludes with a montage of photos of the Pythons' reunion tour, including a funny shot of a dog running off with Michael Palin's head, and one of Cleese's legs flying off into the audience during the "Silly Walk" skit.

JediTalentAgent posted:

Matt Berry

JediTalentAgent posted:

Doctplace.

"In 1995, the BBC approached the humble yours-truly to revive and revitalize the moribund classic series, Doctor Who.

"As a person who vocally hated Doctor Who and even wrote an unpublished guest-editorial for Starlog Magazine in 1986 that described the show as bastion for pedophiles, I was at first surprised the BBC would consider me, the show's most vocal critic, their 3rd choice for revolutionizing this iconic character.

"Obviously, they knew my keen outsider insight on the character, as well as my successful forays into time-traveling hard science fiction with books such as, "The Time Car" and "Time Car 2: The Return Of The Time Car", and my justified disgust of the entire series up to that point was the key in saving the franchise.

"However, with anything involving the BBC, we were given no budget to work with except the priceless extent of my imagination, our production doomed from the start by the henpecked BBC accountants and their cronies. To save what little funds we had, I took it upon myself to write, direct and star in the new series so that we could put the money into the episodes themselves. I also brought with me a trusted and talented team of actors and effects magicians to set about to finally make a Doctor Who the audience deserved.

"However, this vision would be unseen by that audience for almost 20 years. We had been at various stages of production on several episodes before the BBC pulled the plug on the project so they could do a commercialized revival for the Americans and after a single viewing for the network heads they proceeded file a legal order forbidding anyone involved from the production from releasing any notes, footage, scripts, plots or photos of the production, or even discussing the episodes. All materials the BBC didn't destroy like Nazis was locked away in their vaults, except for episodes that were lost by having the tapes recorded over.

"I was done with Doctor Who, and a very large part of me was glad. Trying to breathe life into that dead horse was creatively draining and it had taken me away from writing my own time travel stories. From there, I instantly went back to my notes for the popular Time Car book series that I'd written years earlier to produce more books like "Time Car 6: The Clocktor", "The Clocktor Returns: A Time Car Novel" and "The Clocktor 2: Darexes Attack Earth.", among others.

"But years passed, the talk of my unaired Doctor Who series had went from quiet whispers to overwhelming audience demand to see the show they were denied 20 years earlier. Rewatching them now, I see that despite the interference of the BBC and being denying anything close to a serviceable budget, there is a clear groundbreaking vision that still comes through that not only likely influenced how every science fiction show that has come after it by sheer word of mouth, but remains unreplicated by any show since.

"Now, thanks to overwhelming fan interest in long-thought-lost Doctor Who episodes, I and the BBC are proud to present you with Garth Marenghi's Doctor Who, with commentary and interviews from myself, my publisher Dean Learner, and others. So, without further delay, Garth Marenghi's Doctor Who...

"Oh, by the way, keep a close eye out for a special appearance from a familiar face or two you might have seen before in another little show of mine... Enjoy."

Automatic Slim posted:

Part 4

The Doctor, his writers, producers, and BBC are sued by the Anti Defamation League.

Ahundredbux posted:

Dr. Who discovers americans didn't like his show so he travels back in time to hijack an airplane and flies into the world trade center

Grody posted:

I got one: the doctor walks out of his magic telephone booth and looks directly at the camera and says "gently caress all you stupid nerds who watch this lovely show. Also I'm gay"

Clayren posted:

boudica's bodacious boobs

FirstPersonShitter posted:

"Why Sir Doctor you surely have formed something of a rapport with that blackomancer"

mysterious frankie posted:

Doctor Who gets a snarky roommate (played by Bud Cort) who keeps calling him "Dr. Who Gives A poo poo". The doctor falls into a deep depression, commits suicide, and is reborn as an animated animal man who wants to have sex with everybody.

In part 2 he has sex with everybody.

Call it... I don't know. Whatever.

Applewhite posted:

The ghost was actually the town's negative emotions that had been caught in a psycho-emotional nexus.

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

This is the one that I want to see made the most.


Okay, this is the one I want to see made the most.

The White Dragon posted:

i read this as "rose is black" and i was like

Doctor Ho
After a mishap with the TARDIS's navigational systems, The Doctor accidentally opens a gate to a parallel universe in which he regenerated as Richard Roundtree in his prime. They go on a blaxploitation adventure prominently featuring stereotypes that wouldn't have been considered politically incorrect in the 1970s. As the episode is still set in modern London, bystanders are visibly offended and dismayed.

After destroying an alien menace by exposing their cloistered otherworldly minds to the power of funk, the parallel universe Doctor is finally able to go home. Just when everyone thinks things are back to normal, someone starts pounding furiously on the doors of the TARDIS. Richard Roundtree was, in fact, unable to return to his home dimension. He has regenerated as Samuel L. Jackson and needs The Doctor's help in solving a racially-motivated murder in New York City. The episode ends and it is merely assumed that this plotline was resolved off-screen.

AddMEonFacebook posted:

Write your own, that's why you're here. Get to work.

Fred is on posted:

Too Many Roses
Rose Tyler is back, and she's brought company! When an interdimensional assassin begins stalking and killing Rose Tylers in every alternate universe, the Rose we know somehow manages to steal their dimension-hopping technology. She uses it to go to the Doctor for help, with fifty-three alternate Roses in tow. The assassin is unmasked as yet another Rose, who was trying to absorb "residual time vortex energy" from her other selves in order to become all-powerful, The One-style. With her thwarted, the Doctor parts with "his" Rose with a poignant final "goodbye, and there is absolutely no way we are allowed to see each other again; I really, really mean it this time." Once every Rose is returned home, Clara is left with an unsatisfactory answer as to "what was even so special about that girl" and categorically states that she won't be cleaning up the huge mess the Roses made around the TARDIS.

Acne Rain posted:

she was the first companion of the new series, became very doctor obsessed and though she got stuck in another world she was given a human clone of the doctor to have as a boyfriend.

she embodies everything many fans dislike about how companions are handled (They MUST be hot girls from modern times with a crush on the doctor for romantic tension, very few exceptions)


Classic who had companions of all genders and eras, in fact Leela from Futurama is named after a companion who was a woman from prehistoric times who was strong.

Applewhite posted:

The Computers of Doom (1982): In this lost episode of the series, The Doctor and his three companions have traveled to a London that is controlled by the advanced "Urban Control Computer" which is four reel to reel units, a big box covered in blinking lights, a CRT monitor and a keyboard taken from a BBC Micro. The UCC is touted as "perfect" and has automated all the civic functions of the city (removing the need for a council or other aspects of municipal government).
Everyone loves the UCC, and it never hesitates to remind people that it's making their lives better. Unfortunately, people have been living under the UCC's "perfect" administration for so long they no longer question its instructions, even as its orders become increasingly bizarre, and citizens often find themselves stuck performing meaningless or embarrassing actions at its behest. The Doctor and companions, arriving to the situation with fresh eyes, notice something is off right away.
Their questioning is unwelcome and they are soon on the run from "the Bobby;" a robotic police officer that shoots lasers from its fingertips and whose head is an oversized plastic sphere. In spite of its lurching gait it is never far behind our heroes.
Aldric is a real drag in this episode because he never wavers in his admiration for the engineering behind the UCC even as its obviously trying to kill them. Tegan is the most helpful as she actually contributes effort and ideas to the solution. She and Nyssa working together are able to delay The Bobby long enough for The Doctor and Aldric to get into the computer's circuits and fry them. The people of London learn to depend on their own judgement again.

Applewhite posted:

On a distant planet, a regime with obvious parallels to Putin's Russia is employing a new nonlethal weapon to control unruly citizens: the Antigasm gun. When fired, it causes its target to experience "the pain equivalent of an orgasm." Just as the sensation of orgasm is qualitatively and psychologically different from any other form of physical pleasure, so too the antigasm is unlike any other form of pain that can be inflicted on a body, even if it's not actually "worse" than being injured. But the planet's "President for Life" Kilroy Schlotz isn't content with using the pistols against criminals and the civil disobedient; a side effect of prolonged exposure to the antigasm gun is an inability to have sexual feelings or urges of any kind. Schlotz plans to exploit this effect to wipe out "sexual deviancy" in all its forms.
Among the "deviants" slated to receive the new "treatment" are guest stars Paul Cook, Glen Matlock, Steve Jones and Johnny Rotten! Their band ("Love Bomb") was embroiled in a scandal allegorical to "Pussy Riot" and now they're locked up. With the Doctor's help, they break out of the detention center. After they're free, they tell The Doctor the real reason they're locked up: anyone who listens to their music becomes permanently immune to the effects of the antigasm gun! ("Because nothing frees your mind like music" realizes The Doctor). The Doctor hacks into the worldwide broadcast band (ironically established as a means of transmitting Schlotz's propaganda) and Love Bomb's music is broadcast into every home.
Schlotz is overthrown by his own personal guard in a coup d'etat and the new leader is a lot more open to alternative lifestyles.

Fred is on posted:

Menace on Strings
The Doctor and Clara save an Antartic research base from aliens disguised as creepy puppets.

This episode guest stars Christopher Eccleston, reprising his role as the Doctor for the first time. However, Peter Capaldi does not appear in it at all, with Eccleston effectively taking his place for the entire duration. He explicitly appears to be the Ninth Doctor, using his own costume, catchphrase and mannerisms rather than the Twelfth's. No in-universe explanation is provided for this sudden change, which goes unremarked upon, even seemingly unnoticed, by both Clara and the Doctor. This episode neatly fits into the current season's timeline, and is not stated to be a flashback or dream, while both episodes before and after this one star Capaldi as normal.

When asked about this "continuity gaffe" or "offscreen double-regeneration" (the most popular fan theory), the people involved in the show's production appeared puzzled by the questions, apparently under the impression that Capaldi starred in the episode as normal. When pressed, Capaldi would readily offer anecdotes about his time on the set while filming it. Eccleston meanwhile initially interpreted the questions as some bizarre insult, systematically deflecting them until blowing up into a nine-minute, rage-fueled rant about the Doctor Who franchise and its fans.

The DVD release offered no further explanation. In the cast commentary for the episode, Peter Capaldi amicably chats with Jenna Coleman over new footage of a somehow rejuvenated Tom Baker.

Van Kraken posted:

Seven Brides for Seven Daleks

horriblePencilist posted:

All Done
The Doctor runs into a problem he couldn't have predicted with all the time in the world: He already invited every human in every point in time to be his companion! Even after asking them if they wanted to come back, they declined his offer and claim they settled down. Can The Doctor overcome his unhealthy obsession with the human race and actually ask someone who isn't human to be his new sidekick?

IceAgeComing posted:

horriblePencilist posted:

Kawaii Women
Clara gets The Doctor hooked on famous slice-of-life anime Azumangah Daoi and he decides to meet the persons that inspired the original manga: A book club of young women in 1865 London.

Speechless
In this unaired chamber play of an episode, the doctor spends 40 minutes writing a speech on the infancy of the human race. During work, he listens to a YouTube playlist entitled "Inspiring Music" and flips through the pages of his Thesaurus on several occasions.

Tougher Than The Rest Of Em
The Doctor and Clara have to face a ghostly figure abducting people in a sleepy village in Bulgaria who sings the theme of Pumpkin Hill Zone from Sonic Adventure 2 in a creepy manner. The cryptic turns out to be the ghost of an ancient alien prisoner and is quickly disposed of, but why he was singing a rap song from a Japanese video game from the early 2000s is never addressed.

Edit: oops double post I was really banking on someone posting in between guess I gotta abandon the thread in shame