CM Punk signs with UFC

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > CM Punk signs with UFC

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

LobsterMobster posted:

BJ Penn beat the poo poo out of Diego Sanchez for 23 minutes

Diego's tactics were: bad wrestling, terrible haymakers, MEAN MUGGING

None of it worked

Edgar v Penn 3 was a bigger beatdown. BJ even carried himself bigger.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2014 08:46

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:23

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

WrasslorMonkey posted:

"He didn't get all of it"

This looks entirely like its Jericho's fault.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2014 11:27

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

LobsterMobster posted:

Who are the guys that have never lifted A Weight?

Demian Maia's mighty Middleweight return.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 14:53

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Auron posted:

6 months seems like a legitimate amount of time to train against born killer psychopaths

It would be if he spent every moment of it training with Genki Sudo.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 17:12

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Detroit_Dogg posted:

what

Jim Ross did great on that event with Chael.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 20:17

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Puppy Doll posted:

Admittedly, I don't know a thing about the UFC, but isn't it a huge liability for them to let a man with double-digit concussions and obliterated knees get into the octagon? I mean, obviously Punk wouldn't sue, but you'd think he'd have a very difficult time getting medically cleared to fight at all.

Yes it is a bad idea.

No, he will be cleared.

Getting fighters cleared is the easiest thing in the world as athletic commissions have no spine whatsoever, are corrupt as gently caress, and dumb as balls. This applies to boxing too. If you want MMA examples you can have the time Chael, after testing positive for about seventy drugs, was offered a job by the NSAC while appearing before them or when Alistair Overeem fled to Europe to avoid a drug test and when he came back said it was a misunderstanding or the time Vitor Belfort (a serial drug cheat who has been caught repeatedly for doping) appeared before them only a few months back and after having a previously suppressed file released on him, that he himself released to exonerate himself. revealing he'd been systematically blood doping (he tried to hide this by blacking out the blood results, except the columns for anomalies were in a different column to the total count and so rather then black out the entire line he only blacked out the ones that showed he failed) was immediately cleared to fight for a championship title with only one guy on the panel dissenting.

He'll pass with flying colours, and they'll probably offer to blowjob him during it too. They essentially do that whenever Mayweather shows up.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 00:20

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Detroit_Dogg posted:

The UFC is actually pretty good irt concussions. Mandatory time off periods after knockouts, independent doctors. They're pretty good. Idk much at all about the WWE except someone told me CM Punk was told to run the ropes and that if he could do it he was fine which is pretty dang funny and also really really bad.

This is correct, all I wanted to clear was that while CM Punk may have bum knees and a history of concussions he will be cleared anyway excluding something like being knocked out hours before appearing before the commission. Which could happen if he goes bath shopping with Renan Barao I guess.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 06:52

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Shadalator posted:

That dude can barely put a sentence together

Years ago Punk had an interview with Ariel Helwani saying that he wanted nothing more than to get the Diaz Brothers in the same room with the Briscoe Brothers. He can now make this happen.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 07:28

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Bob Sapp, your time has come for your ultimate payday.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 19:15

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

david carmichael posted:

unless punk has some natural striking talent and power bob sapp would be a hilariously bad matchup for him

Sapp doesn't fight to win and has not for many many years. If Punk shoots a takedown Sapp will claim his pelvis has broken.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 19:21

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

fatherdog posted:

Spoiler: His opponent will not have seriously trained any martial art for any real length of time

What's Seth Petruzelli doing these days?

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 01:27

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Jason Funk posted:

and I don't want PTSD from this mockery that was the decline of pure mixed martial arts

You are bad and you should feel bad.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2014 06:41

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Byolante posted:

Nagashima has fought in mma bouts before

Nagashima would kill CM Punk and this isn't even a joke.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 09:22

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

CM Punk is going to hook up with Ronda Rousey and people will get very mad.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 19:24

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/1996280-ronda-rousey-talks-love-of-cm-punk-interest-in-pro-wrestling

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 19:28

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

BUBBA GAY DUDLEY posted:

Punk learned to fight from Al Bundy and Al beat up basically everybody (except fat women at the shoe store).

Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQwepCDNl94 Punk on commentary is amazing I don't care.

I have no memory of AJ Lee with Primo. Or Primo.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 10:38

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Josuke Higashikata posted:

Not having Rogan around to act like every punch that lands and every kick thrown was a fight ending shot actively detracts from the show, in my opinion.

He's one half of bald man shout times too, which is an undeniably amazing thing.

One of Rogan's worst traits is that OH HE HURT HIM becomes his statement to any landed punch if the punch occurs in a championship match in which all strikes get a 500% damage bonus in his mind.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 17:03

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

actually scratch that, based on history i think that punk would win

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6_k9rtDL8M

Rogan would like to Literally Kill Andy Dick for some very good reasons.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 02:06

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Bluedeanie posted:

When this thread was posted there were still people around here besides me who liked Johny Hendricks, that's a trip.

I think Punk would've looked as good against Wonderboy.

# ¿ May 24, 2016 05:40

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

The Singing Chav posted:

..for two years.

And he started at the only camp after AKA known for causing its trainees injuries

(and sharing women)

# ¿ May 24, 2016 06:28

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Josuke Higashikata posted:

Al Bundy def CM Punk Round 1 0:30 Gogoplata

today i learned that Ashton Kutcher is a purple belt under the Machado's and is 6'2 200 lbs

i want to see Ashton Kutcher grapple the poo poo out of Punk

also Ashton Kutcher is more qualified to fight in the UFC than Punk

# ¿ May 30, 2016 04:03

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

No ones MMA career has bigger lies than Rickson Gracie.

# ¿ May 31, 2016 06:33

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Ralph was a nobody that wanted to be a somebody.

Rickson was a somebody whose ego was so large they really wanted to be seen as God.

# ¿ May 31, 2016 07:59

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

re-signs with WWE

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 16:38

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

LobsterMobster posted:

keep this on the DL since my fam over at uproxx are gonna include it in a write-up of the episode, but i love y'all

https://vine.co/v/5htJj0L27he

Now there should be NO SHAME betting outworked by Funky, one of the greatest grapplers on the planet.

On the other hand Punk is so loving dead and out of his depth.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2016 07:29

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Chris James 2 posted:

If you watch just Punk's head it's like an animator only worked on his arms and forgot to animate the rest of him.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2016 10:43

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Lets just remember Dana went on a road trip to find a fighter bad enough to fight CM Punk and ended up finding Safe Northcutt. And then deciding Sage Northcutt was too good for CM Punk.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 17:11

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Mel Mudkiper posted:

It's gonna be really funny if Punk gets in a lucky punch KO in the first five seconds of this match and never wins anything ever again but has a long career because of that one punch

xToddxDuffeex

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 05:19

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Keg posted:

Can't wait to find out what Linkin Park song Dana has set him up with

Im one step closer to straight edge

That im about to break

# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 08:11

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

I present this Trillion Dollar Bill to our richest, and therefore most trustworthy citizen, Charles Montgomery Punk

# ¿ Sep 9, 2016 19:51

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

-Atom- posted:

Short of them just signing someone straight out of a UFC gym I really don't see it

Lets never forget they thought Sage Northcutt was too good for CM Punk.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 05:55

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

MacDougall posted:

Gall did just finish a guy who has wins over 3 guys who were signed to the UFC with winning records so Gall is probably just a case of picking the wrong can for Punk. Those guys Sage beat were all regional standouts at worst and Gall made him look pretty silly.

No doubt Punk would do a lot better against Francisco Trevino than he did against Gall.

On the other hand

uppercut.gif

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 12:37

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

CM Punk is going to follow the career of Tila Tequila at this rate.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 12:19

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Mr. Nice! posted:

I think being a killer android on robot chicken is a pretty good life goal.

Googled her to see what shes up to

Literally a flat earth literal Nazi antisemite white supremacist

Well

That i didnt expect

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 12:49

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:23

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

LobsterMobster posted:

guy that smokes a ton of weed (like rvd, matt sydal) and doesn't actually connect with his punches is a big wrestling star?

whom indeed would have thunked such a thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p7ShOSnQWE

Called "The Bro"

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 07:28

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > CM Punk signs with UFC