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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
no one has ever killed in the name of christ

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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVmRui1oFF0

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Black Bones posted:

When you belong to what has been the largest religion in the world for like, hundreds years, it's honestly kinda hard to feel singled out.

Christians are the most persecuted minority in the world right now

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
it's ok to lie to the police so long as you do it to show how dangerous those niggers are

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Good thing I know which parts of the bible God is ok with me ignoring and which parts he wants me to persecute others for not following

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
God blessed us with today


*thousands of African children starve to death*

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May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
God loves all his children, except for the people I hare

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May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Cymoril posted:



When asked their zodiac sign, they replied, "Christian."

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

pr0k posted:



http://www.crossofstbenedict.com/ultimate-weapon-to-defend-families-prayer-enrollment-included/

INDULGENCES! gently caress YEAH!

You been rapin' your nine-year-old neighbor for years? Indulgences!
Want to have a little personal crusades against your towelhead, parking-place-stealing neighbors? Indulgences!
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Want to lure a kid to your garage so you can blast the poo poo out of him with a shotgun? IN FUCKIN DULGENCES!


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    Miraculous Medal or Two Hearts Medal embedded making it a perfect icon.


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It slices, it dices, it's a saltshaker, it executes vampires, and it comes with TWENTY COUNT EM TWENTY FREE RIDES FOR ANY KIND OF SIN WHATSOEVER.

So get rapin' - get killin - AND GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN BENEDICTINE CROSS TODAY FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $230! Try to get a plenary indulgence for less!

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

The White Dragon posted:

carl sagan is smoking weed with bob marley in the first circle of hell because one was a scientist and the other was a philosopher

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Lets go back to a traditional marriage where I can buy me a wife with three sheeps and a cow

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Yep atheist just means anti-God therefore a Satanist could call himself a atheist.

Anbody who is against GOD is a terrorist.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Why the need to read a thread when all I have to do is get a calculator and tap: 0 x 0 and then the equal button?

You get the answer that atheism asserts is where everything came from.

0 x 0 = atheism, not reality.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
There is a religion out there that takes WAAAY more faith than any other… and exceedingly blind, bigoted, and MINDLESS faith as well.

That religion is called Evolution.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Control Volume posted:

here's some good schadenfreude for you all: theres these dumbass groups in the middle east who believe in some dumb sky fairy and theyre murdering each other over it rofl, like how stupid do you have to be to do that poo poo lmao, im glad theyre dead

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Creation has been unanimously proven. The guy who made it (God Almighty, The Great I AM) said "I made it". No one has been able to prove Him wrong at any single thing and He's been right about everything He has ever said. There are a lot of people who despite this utterly perfect track record however, choose not to take Him at His word. Thus, we have evolution and all sorts of zany man-made ideas. Funny thing about mankind is that man is constantly wrong about everything either through ignorance or willful rebellion.

I'm sticking with my Lord Jesus and His flawless and all knowing perfection at everything VS the utter failure of mankind at everything.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Yesterday on "The 700 Club," Pat Robertson fielded a question from a viewer who wondered if she should be worried about her pregnant daughter posting fetal ultrasound photos on Facebook. Robertson, giving an answer that sounds more like a bad sequel to "Rosemary's Baby," warned that the woman’s daughter may be setting her family up to be cursed by a Facebook-savvy satanic coven.

"I don't think there is any harm in it,” he said. “But I tell you, there are demons and there are evil people in the world, and you post a picture like that and some cultist gets hold of it or a coven and they begin muttering curses against an unborn child. You never know what somebody's going to do."

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Darkman Fanpage posted:

god invented cellphones maybe youve heard of them???

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Grade school textbooks teach evolution as fact. It is a monstrous lie that harms our children.

The evolution theory says we evolved from the original Big Bang and later crawled out of a green slime from the ocean.

Here is one example of its ludicrous hypothesis.

Of all the mysteries surrounding evolution, the one that is most baffling to the evolutionists, is “water.” Where did all the oceans come from?

As explained on the National Geographic program, it came from a massive collision in space. As the Earth was cooling from the Big Bang, it was approached by a stray planet that was teeming with water. It collided with Earth, spilled its water onto the Earth, then careened off into space.

Talk about fairy tales. By the way, where did the stray planet get its water?

Come on evolutionists, surely you can develop a more plausible explanation that can be easier to swallow. Until then, I accept the Bible’s answer. After all, the 4,000-year-old book has a perfect track record.

The evolution theory is only 140 years old.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
How important is the sin issue? If the CEO of General Motors flies from New York to Tokyo to personally handle a matter, you know it is very important. So how important is an issue that requires God Almighty to leave the perfection of heaven, be born on earth as a baby, then grow up and die a barbaric death on a cross? VERY important!

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Why should atheists have rights?

Consider these facts:
90% of atheists will be involved in a violent altercaction in their life
60% of atheists are sexually perverted (abg)
When asked if they would forgive a human being for their sins, 90% of atheists said no
When asked if they respect the law, 59% of atheists said no
When asked if they would spit on Jesus, 85% of atheists said yes
40% of atheists admit to finding horses attractive

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Gimp Fack posted:

One day in Heaven God was feeling very horny. He was too tired to masturbate though. "Hmm" thought God "what a predicament". Then it struck him. He was all powerful, he didn't have to manually get himself off. He could make a sex slave! So then God went down to the earth and tried to find a good woman to bear an offspring. He went to a stable. Suddenly...Mary was there! Her husband Joseph had left. "Perfect" thought God "A young defenceless virgin girl she will make a good child bearer" then God went down and raped Mary. "if you tell anyone I'll loving kill you" god muttered to her. Mary nodded, terrified. 9 months later a baby Jesus was born. God came down to claim him.

"my son!" said God "you will grow up for great things! you are indeed very sexy .perfect!" then God killed Mary because she was a dirty whore.

God couldn't have sex with baby Jesus so he left him on the earth until he was grown up.

20 years later Jesus had grown up. He had done many good things in the world like killing the Romans and leading the jews through the red sea. God found this a turn on. God came down for Jesus one day whilst Jesus was being baptised. John the baptiser had left to go buy some beer and Jesus was left alone naked in the pool. He had a six pack, some chest hair and a manly stubble. God crept up silently behind him naked.

"Jesus" said God. Jesus jumped but didn't turn around. "wh - who is this?" he asked tentatively.
"your daddy" God reached down under the water to feel Jesus' rear end. It was firm and smooth. Then he reached round the front and stroked his huge cock. Jesus was a bit scared but also a bit turned on. He turned around to face God. God stood there proudly with his 12 inch penis waving in the wind. "hello son" he said sexily.

Jesus was scared, and tried to disguise his erection. "what do you want?" he whispered.
"I want you to suck me" god said in a low voice. Jesus obeyed. He closed his mouth around the throbbing shaft and deepthroated God.
"mmm yes more" God cried. "suck me harder bitch, harder!" Jesus continued sucking him off until God couldn't take any more. He was shuddering in ecstacy, his face sweaty. "more! more!"

Suddenly God ejaculated into Jesus' mouth. Jesus swallowed all of his cum, savouring every last drop. He sucked until god's cock was completely dry. "wow that sure beats fapping" God breathed heavily.
"are we done yet" Jesus asked, secretely hoping that there was more to come.

"we're not finished yet!" God roared powerfully. There was a desk nearby. God forcefully grabbed Jesus and slammed him onto the desk in doggie position. God thrust his erect penis into Jesus' rear end in a top hat, and Jesus' screamed in pain. "take it like a man son" God yelled as he pounded Jesus' sorry rear end again and again. Jesus moaned in pain, his eyes filling with tears. God thrust faster and faster, harder and harder, breathing rapidly. Jesus panted and groaned with pleasure and pain.

"I've never took it in the rear end before" Jesus panted, lost for breath. God was grunting louder, as he began to near his climax. Jesus was also grunting in exsquisite agony. God became so excited he couldn't hold it in any longer. He pulled out and sprayed his load all over Jesus rear end. Jesus came at the same time, he let out one scream of unbearable pleasure. All the cum swirled and mixed around in the water, Jesus flopped down into a chair, exhausted and relieved. God stood up panting. Suddenly God noticed someone standing by some trees. John had returned from the shops to finish baptising Jesus.

"I'm sorry" John apologised "I didn't wanna interrupt"
God noticed that John had an erection. He got an idea. "not to worry John" god said "Are you up for a threesome?"

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I think I can prove the truth of the biblical word. I live in Canada, and I notice the aboriginal natives live in squalor with drug abuse, violence and suicide. The natives practiced pagen religions until they were enlightened with the word of God. However, the bible states that a man who sins against God will suffer and his subsequent generations will suffer. The suffering of the natives is due to the sins of their forefathers and the fact that they never accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Parents of both sexual orientations can be horrible parents but homosexual parents are always worse parents than heterosexual parents in general. Why is that? Because God did not design the family to have two parents of the same sex. Yes, you read what I said right. The family is not designed to have two parents of the same sex. It is disgusting that homosexual "parents" can raise children in this nation and in any nation. It should be outlawed!

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Freedom only goes as far as the LORD allows it. The Confederate flag is a symbol of expression, and a valiant attempt to wrestle the fashion industry out from the thresholds of the liberals. Gay pride promotes a sinful sexual act that goes against all natural, God-given inclinations, and must be stamped out.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

revmoo posted:

lol if you don't have a personal relationship with our lord and savior

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Why do atheists believe in magic?

Atheism sounds pretty silly to me. They believe the universe magically came out of no where and then it magically created cells in goo which magically turned into a human over millions of years. I don't have even faith to believe in magic, which is why I'm a Christian.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Margaretta Peter, born into a large Swiss farming family in the late eighteenth century, was a preaching prodigy. In 1800, when Margaretta was just six years old, she enthralled relatives and other residents of a tiny hamlet near Schaffhausen (either Wildisbuch or Wildispuch) with her impromptu sermons, seeming to have a better grasp of the Bible than any minister five times her age.
This was a marvelous quality in a preschooler, but over the years, Margaret began to exert a spiritual dominance over her family that made her pastor uneasy. He noted that when Margaretta was still a teenager, her widowed father and older sisters would obey her every command as though it was the will of God.

Margaretta’s commitment to her faith deepened even more at the age of 20, when she fell in with a group of Pietists and went through a year of self-chastisement for her sins. At the end of that year, she announced she was ready to become a preacher and prophetess. She returned to her home village in the spring of 1817, and quickly established a small following that included her father, sisters, and an epileptic servant named Margaret Jäggli. Jäggli thought her seizures were caused by demons, and hoped that Margaretta could heal her.

In the spring of 1823, Margaretta began talking about the Devil, warning her followers that he was close at hand. Jäggli’s seizures increased and worsened, probably due to stress. This further reinforced the group’s notion that Satan was moving in on them. In March, Margaretta summoned her followers to her father’s house and descended into an ecstatic state, experiencing visions of Satan’s hordes overtaking the planet. She, alone, stood in their way. For days, she uttered prophecies to her breathless disciples. She declared that Napoleon’s son would reveal himself as the anti-Christ, and this cued her older sister Elizabeth and Jäggli to mimic spirit possession by Napoleon and the Duke of Reichstadt; they marched around the room like military men until Margaretta banished the spirits.

The next day, the prophetess led ten of her followers into a small attic bedroom and exhorted them to gird themselves with both prayer and any weaponry they could find, for the final battle between Christ and Satan was imminent. The group included her elderly father, two of her sisters, and a married tailor who may have been Margaretta’s lover. They obeyed Margaretta’s instructions to board up the farmhouse and arm themselves with axes, hammers, clubs – anything they could find. Napoleon’s troops were coming, she said, and the invisible minions of Satan had already besieged the house. Her followers took up their weapons and swung wildly at the air inside the attic room, trying to kill discarnate entities that only Margaretta could see. This madness went on for about three hours, drawing curious neighbours to the yard.

When the attic room was destroyed, the melee moved to a downstairs parlour. There, Margaretta began pummeling Elizabeth with her fists at Elizabeth’s urging. Somehow, the crazed group imagined that inflicting pain on each other would help repel the demonic invaders, as did the French convulsionnaires who tortured one another in the most sadistic ways imaginable in the St. Medard churchyard during the previous century. They continued punching themselves and each other in a night-long frenzy. The ruckus finally attracted police, who found Margaretta’s followers piled in a heap on the sitting room floor while she beat them senseless. The group was ordered to disband, and local authorities issued an order that both Margaretta and Elizabeth were to be sent to an asylum.

The disciples paid no attention to these orders. Just one day after their punching fest, a dozen people gathered around Margaretta in the little attic bedroom, prepared to carry out any instructions she issued. The prophetess announced that more blood had to be shed, and proceeded to strike her brother, Caspar, repeatedly with an iron wedge. While she bludgeoned her brother, her followers resumed beating themselves and each other.

Next, Margaretta announced that the ghost of her mother was commanding her to sacrifice herself. Elizabeth immediately offered to take her sister’s place, and Margaretta obliged by striking her with the same iron wedge she had used on Caspar (who was alive, but unconscious). The others followed suit, striking the prone woman with any tools they could find. Elizabeth was soon dead. Only one person, a young woman named Ursula, protested. Margaretta assured her that Elizabeth would be raised from the dead in three days’ time.

Then Margaretta ordered her disciples to crucify her. Reluctantly, they gathered the materials for a wooden cross and assembled it in the attic room. Her sister Susanna provided the nails. Again, Ursula protested and was told that both Margaretta and Elizabeth would rise from the dead in three days.

Margaretta’s followers nailed her hands, elbows, breasts, and feet to the cross. They later told the authorities that Margaretta remained fully conscious throughout this ordeal, coaxing them on. When she was secured to the cross, she demanded to be stabbed through the heart. Ursula attempted this, but was unsuccessful. Another woman and a young man took up a hammer and a crowbar and smashed Margaretta’s head until she fell silent.

Margaretta’s lover, the tailor Jacob Morf, was not present during the murders. He had remained at home with his wife after the beating frenzy. When he returned to the Peters farmhouse and saw the corpses of his beloved prophetess and her sister laid out in a bloodstained room, he was horrified. He reported the murders to a pastor. Meanwhile, the others sat vigil in anticipation of the resurrection. The Peters sisters died on a Saturday, so it was expected they would rise again on Monday. On Sunday night, Ursula removed the nails from Margaretta’s body so that she would not be fastened to a cross when she came back to life. Throughout the night, the group remained with the bodies and prayed.

The sisters remained dead, of course. Their father now had little choice but to report their deaths. In December 1823, eleven of Margaretta’s disciples went on trial for murder in Zürich. All were convicted, and received prison sentences ranging from 6 months to 16 years. None expressed remorse for their actions. On the contrary, they insisted that the murders had been the will of God.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
LORD! When will this fade of "I'm gay" end? I remember when you NEVER mentioned you were gay or had anything to do with it. Now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon. It is a spirit that is attaching itself to our young people. Yes I said it. It is a spirit. Just like there is a spirit of wife killing going on lately. A spirit of robbery too because it has gotten increasingly worse. Someone needs to get mental help for the people that are proclaiming to be gay. I remember when you said you were gay they sent you to a counselor. Saying that you were born gay is declaring that God make a mistake with your sexuality. How can a gay person be fruitful and multiply? God did not mean for a man to be with a man or a woman to be with a woman. He destroyed a city for such mess. Oh my heart aches for people like this. Lord help them.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
A SIMPLE LOGIC:

1. Atheists DO NOT believe God exists.
2. If God DID NOT exist, then there would be NO atheists.
3. Therefore, God MUST exists.

See? It is simple logic! God must exist!

GOD DOES SIMPLY EXIST!!!

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

social vegan posted:



think of everyone when u type the words u type god i can't even believe the tenacity u have you know i mean you

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May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

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May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Those evil lieberals are preventing God's law from being put in place with their secular, heathen ways. The fact that we aren't stoning the gays to death in the street is proof that America is a terrible, sinful nation that must be forced to be more godly whether it wants it or not.

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