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Apr 28, 2024 22:30
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- insufficient guns
- May 4, 2009
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personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E
 
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Dusted off my OkCupid account to keep this thread going.
It's all good but I've bolded some highlights for convenience
quote:
My self-summary
💚THOSE WHO LIKE ME MUST SEND MESSAGE
👉my profile is not a paid profile. If you don't mesage me, I would never know.
Update: OMG I loved these lines when I wrote to a beautiful girl and im adding some of those below with a little change,
👍if honesty is your fetish, sincerety is your weakness, curry is your favourity, short breaks inspire you, you are attracted to simplicity, would like to explore edinburgh togeather, would be happy to watch movies togeather, geathering ️nice friends around you is your passion and exchanging smiles is your beauty then you should message me.
I am not amending my profile to grab your attention. Not hitting your inbox with great chat up lines. Just offering sincerety and expecting the same.
UPDATE:from now on, (UNTILL FURTHER NOTICE)
I shall visit and contact those profiles of females who are searching for casual sex aswel.
❤You get better book than the cover.
Let me be clear.
I could write few words to grab attention of hundred females. I'm not interested in this. I'm simple. I'm more interested in finding one or few great people as new friends. I am not here to impress anyone. I am not here to share my passport with those seeking british nationality. I am simply looking for new people to meet. I love humans. Who doesn't? Yes I sometimes go through the profiles of those females who are interested in fun too whenever I'm in mood. However, my Main search is for new friends.
😡I get annoyed by reading that you are good at kissing. I met only one girl in life who is good at kissing. TBH I had to teach her how to kiss for a while. Then she became perfect.
👉 I think the friendship is the most beautiful relation in the world. Yes, meet over coffee as a friend in casual dress, enjoy coffee and the great moments of discussions. Get addicted meet again. Again and again and then come into dating scene.
I don't fancy text flirting on a website. I'm real and I want reality. This sites are means to have a list of likeminded people. If you are loving real then I have your number obtained in the previous months.
I am a very happy, satisfied, cool and calm man. British citizen but wasn't raised here. So I don't say my first language is English.
I enjoy everything around me and I love my life.
I love traveling.
I LIKE ITALIANS. PREFERABLY FEMALES FOR FRIENDSHIP AND/OR ROMANCE
WHILE Italian MALES FOR JUST FRIENDSHIP.
Polish posh are good to go aswel.
Now a days im Settling down in scotland after returning from england. Scotland is beautiful.
I love silence and specially Pin drop silence. Therefore, I prefer coffee shops over club and pub.
Sometimes I drive out of cities no matter day or night and stay in the peaceful silence for five minutes upto couple of hours.
I like to chat with people. Mostly I listen and the other persons speak. I don't fancy one on one online conversations. I prefer chat rooms. Unfortunatly there are not anymore online chatrooms for group conversations by using mic and speakers/headphone.
👉I am very friendly and people after few meetings think we have become friends which is not true. I don't call ️everybody a friend so easily. Friendship for me is privious like your own child. You give it a birth, keep it safe, grow it with passion and make it mature.
No, you are not my friend if we meet over coffee and chat. It's like a girl or guy meets me on transit to a destinition and we had coffee together. Or talked to a stranger during night out on holidays.
Naah, that's not friendship. Will discuss friendship on a meeting.
😜I Shall quit smoking soon.
However, Would be fun if ur smokers too. We drive to the countryside in the silence, smoke and come back.
As I work in Edinburgh I am loving this city architecture. Edinburgh is amazing.
Coffee, plain white becomes my passion during winter.
(😐The private thing to share? (MAYBE ITS APPEALING FOR RIGHT PERSON)?:::
😊I have a fantasy to meet a girl who has pretty nails, pretty toes, pretty feet and pretty hands and fulfil a fantasy which I shall describe to her.)
I used to play badminton, cricket, football and chess. I don't think there is someone in scotland who can beat me in chess. However, I need practice before the challange. Because it's been ages I played chess.
😂😂😂
😡PROSTITUES DONT SEND MESSAGE
THOSE ASKING FOR DRINKS AND PAID NIGHT OUT ALSO NOTE I THINK ITS PROSTITUTIONS IN A WAY ASWEL
😡NO I WONT SHOW CONSCENT TO PAY FOR YOUR NIGHT OUT WITH ME AND SEX AFTERWARDS
WHY WOULD I TAKE RISK, THEN GOTO JAIL AND ALSO ALLOW YOU CLAIM REGULARLY FOR THE UPBRINGING OF CHILD WHEN YOU BECOME PREFNANT AFTER SEX (that would be raping me),
😐😐while every living product is available from tenner a quickie upto ｣80 per hour?
😂😂They are reliable, well reputed, secure AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU AS ITS THEIR JOB TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
😩(((I DONT LIKE PAID SEX I JUST PRESENTED COMPARISON ABOUT SERVICE AVAILABILY OUT THERE)).
Whatelse I should say? Ask if you have something. I think the better way is communication to know each other. These profiles are not always enough. Not only these profiles but anything we say to describe us.
For example I know a great guy who says he is massive player of chess. I agree with his statement but he was never able to meet for chess. However, we meet regularly and chat for hours on other topics.
If you receive my message then it's just a friendly message without formalities. Yeah 2.5% messages to the females searching for casual sex aswel.
When it comes to sex, I have two tastes. Passuonate and aggressive. Mostly passionate on equal terms but I slightly dominate.
So, if I message for sex, it's for the passionate one.
While a real master never sends a message to his slave to be. He crushes feminine pride of a girl who begs for loving and attention straightforwardly. She sends message. She takes innitiative. She is supposed to bow down and submit herself. She is the bitch. If she is successful, she shall please her master. And if master is pleased, he shall test her, taste her and pay a little attention to the bitch. This attention will take the bitch to heavens. Master wouldn't send her first message introducing his profile.
SO DARLINGS IF I SEND YOU MESSAGE THEN BARE IN MIND MY MESSAGE IS NOT FOR MY TYPE OF SEX.
What I知 doing with my life
Just like all human beings spending 1 full day on this planet. Trying to go back to 9-5 job.
I知 really good at
being good.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Haven't read since ages. When I was a reader, I read libraries. Life takes you to different phases and you can't predict what will you be in future. I was a reader and writer. Maybe I become reader again. Who knows?
My music mood is weired. Weird in a sense that For three days I was listening to different versions of "Lean On" and then become bored😂
I listen to Any music which appeals me.
(My all time fav track is levitate by hadouken) This is the only song which takes me to heavens. I dunno why?
Gigs? I don't go anymore.
When it comes to chose,
Some 80s
Some 90s
The six things I could never do without
Family
Close Friends
Internet
Phone
Bed
Car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
We bombed trillions of pounds missiles over libya and Syria ect, we could have provide every britisher a house of his own with that money. We are war mongars.
We spent all our assets and lives in order to create weapons, why didn't we spend this money on inventing substitute of food? Mother Nature/God gave us knowledge, strength, assets and rule over this planet as human beings. We actually used it for destruction. We have no substitute of food. We kill animals and plants to eat. We are animals.
Let's be positive. Become calm, cool and honest with our lovley planet. Let's do something. Let's be polite with other residents of this planet and the neighbouring universes. Let's spread love and peace. Leta do it gently.
On a typical Friday night I am
(Trying to take my radar away from the drunk girls who are walking barefeet on snails, people's vomit, people's pee on road and other kind of rubbish while, they are carrying heels in their hands)
Poor little worms are life.
Willing to give friends lift on their way back home because I finish my work shift by that time. 😂saturday aswel.
Working most of the night. I do late night shifts and mostly I am working on weekends too. Edinburgh is a tiny city and im not very much interested in pub and club scene of edinburgh. Therefore, if I have Friday off after couple of months, I prefer staying at home, chat on phone with friends, skype chat with remote contacts, weekly grocery like a grandad pensioner, watch a movie or join a group of connections in a pub at lothian road. Or maybe at magie dicksons at grass market.
You should message me if
To find out the connection between you and I which compelled us to read each other's profile/innitial message.
OR select any 1 of the followings
To organise a random meet.
To travel (in car) outside Edinburgh for a day trip or for two days.
To watch a movie in cinema.
To watch a movie at your couch while ordering food.
To cook together at yours.
For a coffee meet.
If you are lonely.
If you are honest.
If you are decent.
If you are indecent.
If you don't want sex.
If you want sex.
If you don't smoke.
If you smoke.
If you hate smoking.
If there is a house party for me.
If you are bored
If you want to make me bored
If you
If you
If you
And the list never ends.
😂see how desperate I am?
Well, to be honest I am not looking to date a girl at the moment. But if friendship takes us to the level of relationship then it's cool.
A lot of the time I see pictures that make me think "mate do you really think someone's going to look at that and say 'yes, I would like to have sex with that person?" Why not choose more flattering pictures? Have some examples featuring some garden variety dorkus malorkuses.
insufficient guns fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Dec 22, 2015
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Dec 22, 2015 19:45
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- insufficient guns
- May 4, 2009
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personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E
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You folks need to stop whinging about dating and post some goobers.
quote:
*snip*
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...how to find a compatible mate,to do this,that .....with.
How,when browsing Dutch females who are only a ferry ride away,the system suddenly thinks I should be across the other side of the globe looking at Mexican women....as nice as they are.(Did you know that if a chili-eating Mexican drops in the desert,vultures wont touch him)
Similar when I`m browsing females in Belgium,where I`m skewed off across the Atlantic to the land of GMO`s,high fructose corn syrup,aspartame and brominated drinks in places of learning.
...how aliens managed to remove a man`s prostate through his urethra!
On a typical Friday night I am
Sober,contemplating my navel......I love those oranges.
*snip*
Warning to the dodgy crowd:You are not permitted to copy any of my profile and photos.
This profile is listed as male, when she is very obviously a woman in her pictures
quote:
My self-summary
Okies so im female. Not male. Just got so very bored of all the disgusting messages I was receiving from misguided lads who think the way to a girls heart is by explicitly explaining in detail which violently sexual acts you would like to perform on them Its really not. By setting myself as a male on here it means that when those people search for females I do not show up, and so I dont get those messages... lets hear it for virtual gender reassignment 
I am not straight or gay im somewhere in that grey area between that basically boils down to f I think someone is attractive and interesting im probably into them physically.
a few notes for you peeps:
boys, and i say boys because theres no way you are men. all your rubbish copy and paste messages.. ive heard them.
how much the polar bear weighs/do you like chicken/the mcgorgeous... they are tired, old, and just awful.
also how dumb do you have to be to honk at a girl you fancy as you drive past? whats the best case scenario there? even if she was mentally deficient and did actually want to sleep with you your already halfa mile down the road! whats she supposed to do? chase you down on foot? in those heels?
ladies: a good time girl was a very easy one or a prozzi... pringles are not single they are always spooning with all their friends... if carlsberg could do anything well at all they certainly wouldnt make such terrible alcohol. not that i drink beer but i have it on good authority that its the worst of them all.
so you all might want to rethink some of those headlines
ALSO: nobody is buying that you are either new here or that your friends forced you on here. if they did they are not your friends. they hate you.
Muah xxx
Is it a rule of online dating that every female MUST have that Marilyn Monroe quote on their profile? Because I refuse. :p
O and people of okcupid, get with the times. It's 2015. Nobody cares if you meet someone online. No need to lie. Muah xxx
As a bonus, she sent me this message:
quote:
Muah xxx hunni you could do with a few more pics, I mean however is a girl to decide whether she wants to turn you or not?
Her pictures aren't very interesting, but she has as many corsets, cat ears and brightly coloured hairstyles as you would expect.
Various AUG:
the poster too
Bonus round: picture is fine, I just think there's something a tiny bit awkward about using a picture from this particular location on a dating website...maybe that's just me it's Auschwitz
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Jan 7, 2016 21:26
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- insufficient guns
- May 4, 2009
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personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E
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More profiles
quote:
My self-summary
Unfortunately, you'll have to message me first.
I know what it's like in a woman's inbox here, and trying to effectively compete for space there either would statistically make me a copy-paste-er, or very desperate, neither of which are all that attractive personality traits to me. I'm still interested in meeting cool quirky people, and also can do maths and know that my effort almost definitely would be better spent elsewhere, so if you like practical cynicism, drop me a word :P Onward to the rest of my profile!
You should message me if
You're suitably weird enough to message a dude first. I don't expect most people to. I try not to discriminate against shy people, but will probably need more than just a "hi" to know you're actually interested in me.
MESSAGING PEOPLE ON A DATING SITE IS UNATTRACTIVE. Now message me please.
and of course he's poly. I don't get why poly people looking for something casual outside their "main" relationship bother making a huge profile about themselves. Does it matter whether or not someone you see strictly for sex has the same taste in animes and post-rock as you do?
courtesy of:
This is probably my favourite profile so far
quote:
My self-summary
My names [name] (obviously). Firstly my ability to take a half decent photo of myself is highly compromised by the fact i have aspergers. Results varying from severe to just plain weird, objectively speaking. Then again i'am inclined to not take anyone's opinion to heart, because why would i, if it A) Has no factual bases B) Has no personal merit to me. So already i imagine i have firmly established myself as an oddball. And, if at this point you are still reading this, i won't bore you with the usual cliched nonsense from here on out. Such as i work hard play hard, have taken numerous trips around the world, likes to snuggle up with a bottle of wine, and watch a DvD. Or how abut that all important university degree that never got me the job i was wanting. No you have entered a realm of an uncompromising individuality. You have entered the domain of an unconventional selective socializer. That by passion is a writer, fighting against the forces of his own dyslexic tendencies. My super powers are as follows: An uncanny knack for brutal honesty, largely unusual witticisms, and chief among them, causing life altering existential crisis's.
What I知 doing with my life
Living it modestly with out pretension
I知 really good at
Annoying people.
Referring to films only your grandparents have probable seen
The dying art of conversation
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Anything from Citizen Kane to Kindergarten Cop
Will read anything apart from Twilight
Manic Street Preachers, The Beatles, not much of an ear for music.
The six things I could never do without
Family
Films
Food
Water
Air
Interwebs!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The state of modern day western society
What films i'm going to watch next
And sometimes pizza
On a typical Friday night I am
Not drunk
You should message me if
You're insane enough
courtesy of:
quote:
You should message me if
If you want a mature guy that has traveled the world and done many things in his life.
courtesy of:
Is this fake? I want to think it is. But it just seems not quite over-the-top enough to be.
quote:
My self-summary
hikikomori - a person who avoids social contact
Someone once told me: "You need to be able to be happy alone first, and love yourself in order to give your love to someone else and have a successful relationship." During the years i got accommodated to to be alone, and find a way to entertain myself. Others usually seek fellow humans company, I however find it too bothersome, and my somewhat uninteresting and boring life to them will conflict eventually. I could be simply nice to them, by going out to places i have remotely no interest in, and pretend i am having fun. But who will benefit from that? The answer is no one.
Why am I here than? Well i guess there is at least a 2-3 people here sometimes who might give a singe F-- about my existence, and we could exploit possibilities of our common inters.
What I知 doing with my life
Wake up -> Coffee -> Go to work -> Coffee -> Eat food -> Continue work -> Coffee -> Go home -> immerse in stuff on internet, steam, crunchy-roll -> Read -> Rinse&Repeat.
input coffee
|--->Sarcasm
|--->Solution (by product)
I知 really good at
People aren't all perfect. They're weak, ugly, and the're try to get others down. Oddly enough, the better you are, the harder is to live.
IRL: Building the ultimate nerdy home with kotatsu, pillows, lightsabers, chibi figures, NAS full of geekness, and Gigabit LAN
Personality: I was trained to be well mannered, ethical, conservative, patient, compassionate, faithful, forgiveful. I just sometimes chose not to. However i still behave towards others, as i would expect it. If I put my feat on the seat, talk when others talk, or speak with full mouth, my aunt used to slap the poo poo out of me. Why this is not still a thing?
I am not practicing any religion seriously, but the closest to me is Laveyan Satanism. No, that's not the goat slaughtering one. LaVeyan Satanism does not involve "devil worship" or worship of any deities. It is an atheistic philosophy that asserts that "each individual is his or her own god [and that] there is no room/need for any other god.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Mostly whatever Anime and Manga or Light Novels. If not watching or readin anything, i play Video Games and listen to Black Metal Folk Metal Metalcore Symphonic Metal Progressive Metal or Liquid Dubstep Melodic Dubstep ChillStep Indie Chiptune Game OST I love Asian foods like Sushi Sukiyaki Ramen.
The six things I could never do without
I could live without everything. I am not that sentimental. There is always a substitute to whatever activity/device. Everything, and everyone is replaceable, and maybe you didn't even need it in the first place. Lots of people need to lose everything once, and learn the value of them, and what really matters.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What if... And this is strictly hypothetical... What if you could reload your save data to change your previous choice, like in a game? Would it change your life? The answer is a resounding no.
On a typical Friday night I am
Going out to conventions, quiet coffee shops, game nights, cooking stuff, movie nights, Exploring Japanese restaurants.
alone...
You should message me if
if you like games, like anime, you're introvert, you're pretty much in a win situation.
If i choose to date someone, I choose to grow together. I don't need one night stands.
I suck at starting conversations.
Also If you don't bother to reply, just say "Eww nope!", i always appreciate the feedback, and we can move along with our lives.
courtesy of:
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Jan 10, 2016 01:54
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- insufficient guns
- May 4, 2009
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personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E
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it's funny seeing it from the woman's side because then it makes way more sense why i do so well with matches. it's like being a giant in a land of midgets.
To be fair, I created this account about 7/8 years ago, at which time I answered all the questions. I was a very different person back then, anti-social, anti-sex and an all around miserable git. Since I'm being shown matches based on those answers, I think it's safe to assume I'm seeing a disproportionate amount of weirdos.
What I'm saying is, don't diminish your accomplishments forums poster Groovelord Neato.
some profiles:
quote:
My self-summary
It doesn't really Matter what the profile really says,
cuz you'll judge on my outer shell appearance anyway,
I'm here not looking for a ride,
or girl for just a day
Im looking for my shortie,
a girl who's gonna stay,
She's gotta be intelligent
but cute and sexy to,
Not after lavish spending sprees
and free trips to the zoo,
She's gotta like the simple things
like picnics in the park,
Or since its cold and winter,
watch a movie in the dark,
I'll make an awesome dinner,
And dress your plate up smart,
hit you with my cheesy lines
and giggle when you fart
I'll let you meet my DoZer
He's cute and likes new friends
He'll maybe knock you over
But well bruises always mend
So if you're easy going
send a message for a start
And I can get to know you,
See if we can find a spark.
If you got this far without thinking I'm mad, then you've seen a bit of my creative quirky side.
I like to write little limericks, rhymes, poems and songs,
Chances are if I get to know you I'll write one about you. But nevertheless onto my interests
I like videogames. Love them inFact if you don't chances are we wont get on
I like netflix and quite alot of american tv series including house dexter breaking bad sons of anarchy walking dead.
The list is probably endless
Movies. I'd rather download and.watch them in the comfort of my own home where I'm not told to "shhhhh" every time I make a noise.
I love action adventure and most good movies not into rom coms or girly movies and if you like twilight just move along lol
I Rollerblade.
No not the spandex on the beach keep fit kind. The sliding down handrails jumping stairsets break your neck trying something daft kind.
If you're training to be a nurse you'll get plenty of practice here.
I also indulge in mountain biking and snowblading/snowboarding
Ultimate frisbee
And other physical activities
My job is irrelevant. If you base your interest on that or how much money I make or if I have a car (I don't) then I'm not the type of guy for you.
If you've got this far without thinking I'm strange then why not send me a message.
I might even send one back *shock horror face*
What I知 doing with my life
Studying to be a joiner
I知 really good at
You'll find out
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: LOTR Hobbit any good fantasy
Movies: Saw Iron Man Avengers planet of the apes.(rise and dawn) godzilla transformers incredible hulk
Yadda yadda...
Tv series: breaking bad dexter prison break house MD walking dead
The six things I could never do without
My dog
My phone
My games
My skates
My dinner
My girl (when i find her)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Girls Boobs... girls .bums...: .not gonna lie I love the female human anatony. I like to spend time running my fingers over soft skin.
Games: I love video games. Sonic, mario, donkey Kong, halo gears destiny little big planet god of war batman
Skating: I'm a rollerblader I spend my time thinking about tricks rails and pretty skates to buy and modify
Wood: I am studying to be a joiner. I spend alot of time thinking up projects and sawing cutting screwing and drilling various bits of wood
okay.
courtesy of:
quote:
You should message me if
If you want a guy that wont cheat on you, mess you about or cause any poo poo for you, i will treat you like a princess like how girls should be treated
courtesy of this Nice Guy:
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Jan 10, 2016 20:37
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 22:30
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Dec 18, 2015 01:02
