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Breetai posted:How do people even look like that in their 30's? Like, I know that there's a modern tendency for people to be sedentary sacks of poo poo, but how much damage do you do to your body, and how, in order to look like that? Sun-baked obesity is a helluva drug. Luckily, all my years of basement dwelling have left my 29-year-old flesh smooth and pliant, although my back looks like a loving ampersand and I literally groan and creak like Dracula's castle whenever I stand up from sitting for more than an hour.
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Oct 11, 2015 22:38
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jfood posted:Somebody call the Cum Police, we've got a rager here! you rang?  I took this quiz and nearly all of my results were orange or red-tier. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. im cute fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Oct 12, 2015 |
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Oct 12, 2015 06:23
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train your roommate's bird to screech "cummies!" every time it sees a woman.
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Oct 12, 2015 22:01
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neonbregna posted:What region of the country are you in where cummies is used? In my region its cumzies I've lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for 20 years, and we are experts on cum-o's over here.
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Oct 13, 2015 00:49
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precision posted:the completely out of nowhere inclusion of Liz Phair on this person's profile is freaking me out It's literally Liz Phair's OKC profile. nah, it's just a safe, 90's Third Wave Feminist lady musician choice, like Sinead O'Connor or Fionna Apple. If she really wanted to impress some lesbians, she'd list Chalk Circle or the Bush Tetras or something.
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Oct 15, 2015 04:04
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Business Gorillas posted:there's a lot going on here, but i think my favorite part is how there's an entire section devoted to anime This might sound chauvinistic, but some people really could benefit from a good hard dicking. There's just so much pent-up awkward, frustrated energy here that it'd be criminal if it continued unabated until they killed themselves or someone else. Start loving or start working on sublimating your goofy-rear end sexual frustration into some good art.
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Oct 16, 2015 01:58
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Business Gorillas posted:she couldn't have been over 120 and was actually kind of cute Wet it up. Unless she is literally a child in which case do not wet it up. Welp, thanks for reading.
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Oct 17, 2015 20:27
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Oct 17, 2015 20:30
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I posted a lot in tumblr-cum-hellthreads, and have already been acquainted with Sherlock omegaverse nightmare rectal births. So uh. Lol For everyone's edification and also because gently caress you: 
im cute fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Oct 19, 2015 |
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Oct 19, 2015 20:13
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^^ niceStinky_Pete posted:I like my women like I like my business cards: Ritually exchanged by Japanese men. Done in a Kinko's. 1/8th of an inch away from my butt. Exciting to have, a pain in the rear end to carry. All up in my wallet. Overwrought and difficult to read. Left at home, never to be thought about again. im cute fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Oct 22, 2015 |
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Oct 22, 2015 18:31
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LethalGeek posted:I just like to gently caress a lot, I don't get into all that omg everyone loves everyone crap. I hope I'm not misremembering, but I liked how you defended your degeneracy in the E/N fetlife pedophile thread. I wish I could remember which one it was.
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Oct 25, 2015 23:35
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Breetai posted:You're possibly thinking of thespiritfox who had a mini meltdown in this thread in mid July about how girls who like daddy's cummies are totally not dealing with past trauma and who coincidentally was loving a 15 year old at 20. That might be it. There was a different thread with an OP involving catfishing fetlife profiles and trying to confront a 14?-year-old girl at a mall food court and some gross love triangle. It was pretty great.
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Oct 26, 2015 02:42
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LethalGeek posted:My self-summary After that guy who was an insufferable "ambivert" wine nerd self-fellater but had his life reasonably together, I'm glad you were able to bring us back down to a nice, regularly offensive "I'm looking into hypnosis so I can piss my diaper like a real baby."
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Oct 26, 2015 19:26
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Bored posted:Yeah. I had the same reaction. My ex BIL was studying to become a sommelier. Is it, like, a devry degree? I didn't ask because the rest of the family was super proud of him for it. It's where you become an expert in every facet of wine except the fun (drinking), cool (wine making), or money (wine selling) parts. It's a certification program, like installing solar systems or whatever, but of literally zero practical use besides ruining parties with your dipshit wine snobbery.
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Oct 27, 2015 00:02
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Definitely the back I also base this bet on the presumption that her two lady hangers on there don't have enough personality between them to even fill out an OKC profile without linking their tumblrs, deviantarts, or a half dozen youtube videos prefaced with "just watch this" or "my feels rn" im cute fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Oct 27, 2015 |
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Oct 27, 2015 02:10
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Could you imagine dropping out over an elective? I mean, even in community college you could just stop showing up and be out the $100 or whatever and move on with your life. Maybe take an elective that's not so loaded down in identity politics.
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Oct 28, 2015 19:34
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nerd death screech posted:Anyone have the screenshots of the profile of this really thick/sorta swole dude who was really sweaty and had huge bug eyes in his pictures and all the aforementioned pictures had like mspaint captions like "YEH GIRL I'MA CUM IN YOUR rear end in a top hat"? please don't call me out, bro
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Oct 29, 2015 01:26
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The_Angry_Turtle posted:No no you don't understand. I don't hate the fat chicks. I just hate their fat. It is both a literal and metaphorical barrier between us. Every wobbling panniculus and extra chin represents a potential hottie who may as well be trapped in another dimension. I want to tear down their Great Wall of Lipids, slay the greasy yellow demon of adiposity, and free the princess trapped within. The_Angry_Turtle posted:Of course, as my good buddy Anne likes to demonstrate, some women are better left stranded in a lumpy prison of lard for the safety and well being of unsuspecting males.
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Oct 29, 2015 23:52
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when Carol dressed up like a raider in The Walking Dead it made me very horney. I wish she had an OKCupid acct.
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Oct 30, 2015 00:21
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i like girls that look like Quan Chi, and also speak in a sexy baritone like Quan Chi.
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Oct 30, 2015 05:43
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Lufiron posted:the best she could hope for is a submissive pushover manbaby who is just successful and independent enough to live on their own cuz I don't see a lot of strong willed confident normal men looking to raise someone else's kids It's a catch 22 because you'd need to be a strong-willed, confident man to be ok with getting involved with these kids as a potential dad figure (and kudos to those guys who do), but at the same time, a strong-willed confident man will have a lot more attractive options than hooking it up with the divorced 20-something double mother. So really, yeah, spineless ATMs are about the best one could hope for. Or a weed dealer with a heart of gold.
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Nov 1, 2015 08:39
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i would let her try to kill me. I have poor service out her ein the mountains.
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Nov 4, 2015 06:37
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Maoist Pussy posted:Hahaha, which one of you is this? It's me, I'm the one with the essay-length screed against patriarchy for an online dating profile, and I wrap it up by kowtowing to a few dozen of the most popular Hollywood white men. I'm also so virginally horned up I'm practically the dick-drawing fat kid from Superbad. im cute fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Nov 10, 2015 |
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Nov 10, 2015 01:46
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Cute, though at 26 I'm afraid the Rockabilly is terminal. HiroProtagonist posted:I hope her OKC pics were better than her tumblr avatar pic, because it's literally tryhard.jpg with a special sprinkling of myspace. They were worse, friend. Like, I don't know how a 34-year-old woman can have such a bad case of the myspace, but then again she is from Portland and seems generally unwell.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:05
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Hadaka Apron posted:I have seen several women on OKC who describe themselves as bisexual and then waited until the last line of their profiles to say that they weren't into cis dudes. LUG - Lesbian Until Growthefuckoutofthisgenderbullshit
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Nov 13, 2015 21:59
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Chomp8645 posted:Had my coffee date with Russian lawyer lady today. She is smart and sexy and I hope I see her again. how were her gams?
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Nov 15, 2015 00:37
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Dr. Tim Whatley posted:Cummies
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Nov 17, 2015 01:42
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So I guess she wants to be e-pals with some good-looking dudes? Why bother restricting yourself to just beautiful people if you don't want to meet in real life? Also, gently caress emoji.
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Nov 17, 2015 02:03
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Setzer Gabbiani posted:There's an ongoing number of bi/lez girls on okc mad over the fact that the don't-show-me-to-straight-people button doesn't go far enough, and instead scream to the forums suggesting a feature that hides them from males altogether, as they legit think that guys are pretending to be bi in order to escape the filter, which is gross and creepy and ugh A smart human would just switch it over to straight or gay depending on who you want to see/be available to. It's no one's business if you're bisexual. But then "nonbinary = superior dating stock" is so laughably dumb they may as well make their profiles unsearchable and browse invisibly because the answer to "who wants to date nonbinary girls?" is "boys who fetishize nonbinary girls." Interestingly, the answer to "who wants to date nonbinary men?" is "no one."
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Nov 17, 2015 06:18
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El Spider posted:I'm a big fan of cummies Welcome to this thread.
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Nov 17, 2015 06:21
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This is the okcupid mock thread. The New Sincerity Dating Site Megathread is in E/N, but Angry Turtle stopped posting so it's not really worth reading.
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Nov 17, 2015 06:51
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:I hooked up with a girl I met on Tinder last Friday. First date was literally Netflix and Chill at her place. If you spent 2 hours dilly dallying before putting your penis in my vagina I'd kick you out too.
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Nov 17, 2015 19:10
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1st AD posted:Whenever I date a white nerd (which is a lot) I get incredulous looks that I don't watch or enjoy anime. Approximately 0% of the Asian girls I know IRL enjoy anime or have even watched a non-Cartoon Network anime in the last decade or longer. The ones I find on OKC and other place that do enjoy it are insufferable nerd queen bees because weebs worship the ground they walk on and I bet it's hard to turn down that kind of unwavering adulation and deference. The whole "women don't date Asian men" thing seems weird though. Why is that?
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Nov 19, 2015 03:39
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Gays are a whole other realm of bullshit and I never know what's considered the most desirable race/body type/attitude/whatever because it seems like it changes a lot. This is GBS though, so hopefully a Gay can enlighten us all. Also, what is an ABC?
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Nov 19, 2015 04:44
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Crashbee posted:I messaged an angsty stoner girl asking if she'd like to go for a smoke sometime, and she sent back a thousand-word rant about how guys like me are just trying to get girls vulnerable and she wasn't going to let me get her stoned so I could rape her and that if she ever sees me she'll set her dogs on me. Which was... different. Vulnerable to what? Saying embarrassing poo poo and eating snacks? Maybe she's one of those people who have intense brain problems when they smoke and she passes out regularly.
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Nov 19, 2015 18:02
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Tuba Mike consider getting into the findom racket. Apparently it's a real thing.
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Nov 19, 2015 20:53
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Marketing New Brain posted:Sorry if I mislead you, but I'm more into paying ten bucks, one time, and then getting insulted for a decade. No fatties, must be white. Two and a half years ago until you get your ten bux worth. Hope it's been a good ride!
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Nov 19, 2015 22:07
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Stinky_Pete posted:Heh I forgot which crystal gave you the 'Stripper' job. Maybe it's a mistranslation?
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Nov 22, 2015 05:54
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Noggin Monkey posted:My brother in law became a popular spokesman for the anti-circumcision community and would go out to protest in white shorts with a red stain on his crotch. All he wanted to talk about was that poo poo. Should've told him to prove that he was still intact or gently caress off with his insecurity. To put his dick where his mouth is, so to speak.
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Nov 25, 2015 00:06
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 14:49 |
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Shumagorath posted:guess the biological sex, win... well nothing really I've seen manlier-looking ciswomen. One of my favorite customers when I worked at a coffee place was goddamned 6'4" square-jawed brick house of a woman who, while obviously able to break me in half if she wished, was sweet and chatty and pretty obviously just a big lady. Anyway, my final answer is regular ol' biological woman rocking a husky gene.
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Nov 27, 2015 04:37
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