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"Be white" is honestly the best piece of dating advice I have ever received.
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Feb 21, 2015 19:28
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Eyespy posted:I'm on a roll with messages from crazies today. She's incredibly good at the bdsm thing though. Just the way she tortures punctuation in that post makes me want to beg on my knees for her to stop.
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Feb 25, 2015 08:50
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Are you saying all black Portlanders look the same to you? All five of them?
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Mar 2, 2015 22:05
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Hellequin posted:kind of tubby and a lazy eye. Gun nut and a lazy eye? Sounds like a dangerous combo...
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Mar 8, 2015 16:27
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Childers B. Lace posted:You like to hung with good friends and? And what? I don't know but you gotta admit she knows how to leave people hanging.
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Apr 10, 2015 19:51
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cmndstab posted:I wonder what her endgame was? Well, the article gives a motive for her actions, which can be paraphrased as: "She has serious mental health issues."
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Apr 16, 2015 07:14
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The copy-paste one reads like something procedurally generated by a poorly coded flirting algorithm, if that even exists. Did a human write it? They fail the Turing test. 
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May 2, 2015 14:13
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Smash it Smash hit posted:alot of abortion clinics also serve as STD testing sites so, prob not a good place Yes, better get a partner who never gets tested. They must be healthy by definition, right?
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May 14, 2015 14:52
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JebanyPedal posted:She takes me to an allnight diner and pays for it, then I gently caress her again in thanks Congratulation on prostituting yourself for food, I guess.
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Jun 6, 2015 10:24
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Shirley Crabtree posted:cancelling a date does not make you a terrible person. lying about a heart attack to cancel a date makes you a terrible person. So clearly it's the heart attack that bothers you, but you have to realize that this is a personal problem. If it's a lie, the lie was fine. Let's play a game, which one of these truths would you have preferred? "I just realized I'd rather play with my goldfish than go out with you." "I'm going to spend the evening watching TV instead of going out with you, Fast and Furious 19 is on Netflix and that's got to be more intellectual than your conversation." "I would have texted you sooner but the cute guy I actually wanted to go out with took forever to reply. I'm going out with him and putting you on the back burner, hope you don't mind." "You sound weird and entitled and like you're going to stalk me if I tell you to gently caress off but an internet forum advised me to tell you the truth instead of a socially acceptable lie, so here I am. Please don't murder me." Shirley Crabtree posted:the other has pistols tattooed on her tits. On her tits. Classy. And in 30 years she'll have rifles tattooed on her tits, which will be even classier.
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Jun 10, 2015 08:45
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Basic Poster posted:I know its .txt...but what exactly is this profile pic (real) trying to convey? "I have a dick."
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Jun 12, 2015 10:00
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JebanyPedal posted:I tested positive for chlamydia again lmao. Don't even know who it was from. notZaar posted:Sweet divine retribution bitch There you go, you got chlamydia from God.
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Jun 13, 2015 16:30
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Ayn Rand. Other than that, I don't know.
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Jun 28, 2015 20:28
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Probably better than a picture of a pan, which is what I would open with. 
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Jul 8, 2015 11:03
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I apologize in advance for seriousposting in GBS, but there is no set timeline/number of date after which you are owed sex. If you enjoy spending time with her, and it seems like you do, then do it. And if sex is really that important to you nobody is stopping you from also dating other girls who are more your usual "bad girl, sleep on the first date" kind of deal.
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Jul 19, 2015 09:21
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cyberia posted:Cheers, I'll be sure to update GoonSexSchedule.xlsx I think it's .xls. The xlsx format didn't exist last time a goon had sex.
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Jul 20, 2015 10:08
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cyberia posted:Seriously, nobody actually listens to this poo poo, Maybe they do and maybe they don't but nobody who values their time reads those stupid lists. Thing is, either you are passionate about one or a handful of artists/bands, in which case they deserve a sentence or two, not an index in a list, or you're not, in which case you can just write a few sentences about your favorite genres. Either way, I don't understand what the point of these lists is except as an attempt to make people not read them.
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Jul 27, 2015 11:01
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Coolness Averted posted:you want to go silent hiking with me. thats where we hike together but we dont talk and i just listen to my audiobook. Hey, I've dated this girl! We went on a silent hike together. Well, not quite together, we weren't on the same trail. And it wasn't on the same day. But to be fair there's no way she could have told the difference.
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Jul 28, 2015 13:55
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massive spider posted:agree to jump straight into one huge gross sweaty pile. Well, did you? Tell us about your poly/orgy night. 
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Jul 29, 2015 12:40
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paco650 posted:gently caress the haters, I like you and I like these posts.  Please keep posting these conversations Aydjile. I don't even care if they're real or fake, they are beautiful and that's all that matters.
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Jul 31, 2015 09:43
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Coolness Averted posted:holy poo poo, just Probably talking about the 11y.o. she dated last year. 
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Aug 4, 2015 11:03
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enraged_camel posted:lmao, you sound like some kind of pua Aside from the played out and stupid "loving lol if you" which can't die fast enough, what's your problem with his post exactly? There's nothing wrong with talking to people and asking them out if you are interested and you think they may be. You seem very sheltered.
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Aug 8, 2015 14:20
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Violet_Sky posted:I'm a 4'11 virgin female. AMA Do you have a "less than 6'2" don't bother" disclaimer on your profile?
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Aug 9, 2015 18:57
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LethalGeek posted:Why do women think "taking down the patriarchy" is just going to make me so ready to chat them up Name your pants The Patriarchy.
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Aug 11, 2015 15:53
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Great find. I'm glad she found the purpouse of her life, I'm still looking for the porpoise of mine.
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Aug 26, 2015 12:32
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Otisburg posted:Maybe I'm wrong tho and other dudes like the "guess which of these 4 people mugging for the camera at the bar is me." Not a very interesting game I'm afraid. It's the ugly one. It's always the ugly one. That goes for both genders, btw.
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Aug 27, 2015 08:51
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I'm going to guess that "Kye" is a landwhale and that it's drat hard to sex a landwhale blindfolded if they keep your hands away from their genitals.
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Sep 9, 2015 16:54
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drat, I was way off. The victim's assessment that she "was a bit stupid" is clearly much more on target. Also, are there no lesbian bars in the UK? Why did that woman have to fool another woman into thinking she was a man in order to have sex with women?
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Sep 9, 2015 17:55
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IDGI. What's so bad about this one?
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Sep 23, 2015 17:50
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So? I've seen much worse. Maybe she's British? I don't judge.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:54
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Ask her what distinguishes the first sister from the other three that she needs to be singled out like that. Also, that's like the "proud mother of three beautiful Corgis" mental illness reveal, on peyote.
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Sep 23, 2015 18:04
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Business Gorillas posted:I love to be picked up and spun around, [...]. I am used to being tossed aside, Stop picking partners with lovely grip.
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Sep 28, 2015 09:24
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Otisburg posted:Assuming for the sake of the hypothetical some nanocoating that lets you survive long enough to jack it, would the force of your ejaculate leaving your body be enough to propel you, albeit very slowly, in the other direction? You are already picturing U.S. soldiers arrayed on the back of a new generation of rockets, splooging into space to propel it forward. And yes, it would work. 
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Sep 30, 2015 19:41
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YeahTubaMike posted:getting messages that just say "Hey" or "How r u" is really annoying and bothersome, like, at least put in a minimal amount of effort to ask me about something on my profile or tell me a little bit about yourself Serious question: Why? Why should I put in even a modicum of effort in the message given that you're going to see I sent you a message, are going to check out my profile pic and decide from that whether you want a conversation or not? If you like what you see, you'll just reply 'hey' back, and from that point game's on. But until you've shown interest, crafting a message taylored to your particulars is for uggos that can't cruise on their looks alone. 
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Oct 6, 2015 07:56
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Shumagorath posted:mods? Oh shush, he wasn't doxxing you, he was talking about the profile.
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Oct 6, 2015 08:01
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Like this.
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Oct 7, 2015 09:32
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Groovelord Neato posted:doesn't this also mean that when an attractive man and an unattractive man both send a message with something from the woman's profile, only the attractive man will get a response. Corolary: When both an attractive man and an uggo send "hey" to a woman, only the uggo gets labeled a creep.
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Oct 7, 2015 13:55
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MasterControl posted:
Front or back? e: gently caress, new page.
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Oct 9, 2015 08:00
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alright which guy goon is this?
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One time someone used the term "felching" in a thread. I learned that day not to google unknown words I see on this site.
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Oct 19, 2015 17:24
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neonbregna posted:Swiping right creates a binding contract between 2 individuals that can only be broken by exchanging bodily fluids. I told this to a date, almost verbatim. She then spit in my face and said that fulfilled her end of the contract, but I think she's trying to get off on a technicality. Should I lawyer up?
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Oct 20, 2015 10:48
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