Literal Carehaver posted:

"i must die i must die I MUST DIE!!!!!!!!"

Setzer Gabbiani posted:

My messages are more or less a variation of this when it comes to content, maybe a couple bbc interest-checks throughout

LeoMarr posted:

HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA

quote:

My self-summary

I'm open to hot make-outs and more with people that have a consent-focused, mutual-pleasure driven approach to sexuality. I feel sexual chemistry most easily with people who have some experience with kink, but are still into trying new things and aren't too settled into s/m roles or gender roles.
I am dedicated to fat-positivity, anti-racist feminisms, and reproductive justice.
If you like kissing, curves, and coffee, then message me up!

What I'm about :
Likes: train and bus rides, letters, strip clubs.
Loves: Florida , my friends, making-out.
Dislikes: gross-out humour, course pre-reqs, rock music.
Hates: police, white-supremacy, stairs.
Worst: straight dudes who message me dumb poo poo without reading my profile and call me "lady".

And also: non-monogamy is my way of life. Don't message me if you are looking to cheat, but if you understand how to respect multiple partners and conduct yourself with honesty, sounds great! I'm also very open to meeting couples. I've had some beautiful experiences with people that were already in love when I met them, and I greatly enjoy that dynamic. I think it can be so wonderful to be invited into that existing intimacy.
Wait, does that make me a unicorn????

What I’m doing with my life
Playing with my small dog.
Talking to people about labia majora all day & night for $.
Crafting a rap album.
Decorating my house with old postcards.
Spray-painting old furniture in my driveway.

The first things people usually notice about me
I look like Hello Kitty in a snowsuit.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
***Movies:
Annie Hall & Manhattan & Vicky Cristina Barcelona etc.
Me And You And Everyone We Know
Where The Wild Things Are
Moonrise Kingdom

I am generally tired of seeing movies about boys, and if you have any favourite movies written and directed by a woman you win big points. (If you don't, I suggest Nicole Holofcener's stuff as a place to start.)
<ed: sensing a bit of dissonance between this and her "favorite" movies >

***Music:
Ani DiFranco. (nostalgia?)
Rap & hip-hop. (let's discuss)
Elvis Costello.

A note on your musical tastes:
I do not respond to people's profiles that say things such as, "I like all kinds of music... pretty much everything but country and rap!".
I find that phrase all too common and weird and boring and usually a little classist or racist. If you have that in your profile, I suggest you examine your reasons why, and that you learn to love rap!


***TV Shows:
I just watched season 1 of Adventure Time and adored it, even though I think I don't like animation.

The six things I could never do without
1. a smooth pen for writing and a notebook.
2. coffee
3. a vibrator
4. watching beautiful people make-out and gently caress (porn or otherwise)
5. fresh ground pepper
6. kanye west

Six things I don't want at all that a lot of people on here list as things they could never do without.
1. A cell phone (I hate them)
2. A cat (I am very, very allergic)
3. An iPod
4. A car
5. Husband or Wife (Marriage is a bad idea, but love is good)
6. Beer (Though I am not straight-edge and will drink other drinks)

I spend a lot of time thinking about
-sexual fantasies with three or more people involved
-how to try to organize my bedroom
-New Orleans
-sex work
-political revolution
-Idle No More
-the medicalization of birth & midwifery
-genderqueer identity as a political choice
-suicide as a feminist act of resistance
-the medicalization of deviance and regulation of subversion
-if I could handle law school, or whether I should get a Master's in law
-what I would write my thesis on if I did a PhD in Critical Disability Studies
-if I would be willing to live in Toronto for a year, to get an MA from York
-what food to cook this week
-what songs i want to record for my upcoming mixtape
-rap lyrics for my debut album
-trips I could take to the States (Boston! New York City! Austin! California!)
-how weird and depressing it is that otherwise radical and cool people get married and see no political issue with it
-edge play
-how i would live if i wasn't in debt

On a typical Friday night I am
if I'm alone: making paper crafts/doing collage while watching TV shows about wedding dresses for background noise, eating brie and pesto, throwing toys for my dog.

with a special friend or two: getting the sheets wet.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

If you are younger than I am, I am likely not interested in dating you, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends.
For sexual/dating situations I always prefer people older than I am. (or very near my age)

I like smart chats, but if you have "sapiosexual" in your profile, I'm embarrassed for you.

You should message me if
Requirements:
-You have something more to say to me than "hey"
-You have written more than a few words in *your* profile
-You are a feminist/anti-misogynist
-You are fat positive
-You are ok with non-monogamy
-You are trans/queer or at least trans & queer friendly
-You don't own a cell phone, or at least you don't text while hanging out with dates or friends.


**Thoughtful messages much appreciated!
I get a lot of bullshit messages on this site lately.
Not interested in hearing from straight dudes who send one random line, thanks.

Note: No Shopify bros please.

Pice of poo poo posted:

Forreal though... the bitties in pic #2 look good.

FoolyCharged posted:

This thread is for laughing at horrible people, it's as much about the posters as it is the profile's being posted. It's a shame Auschwitz closed it's doors because we could all use some paid vacation there.

Coolie Ghost posted:

d....do you guys think i already blew it?

Coolie Ghost posted:

i gotta warn you though, my feet inexplicably smell like bad pussy today, usually it's just a musk but i think something's wrong. i'll wash them, but it seems like a problem that's generative

toggle posted:

why would someone want to smell like this?

does patchouli also indicate bad hygiene? do the two of them go together?

Boywhiz88 posted:

Wet it up

Top City Homo posted:

i like to put my penis in a woman's many orifices in rhythmic repeating pattern

imo its good

LethalGeek posted:

I didn't think to grab it at the time but some chick seemed cool until I saw one of her favorite books was atlas shrugged and I noped right out that profile.

Shiki Dan posted:

The story in her own words:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=594_1401381196

Pic (since this is the OKcupid thread, after all)
http://imgur.com/r/TumblrInAction/DnWtS3P

Jimbo Jaggins posted:

She hot tho

Otisburg posted:

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I dun' know what yous talking' 'bout, we's juss grow sorghum here.

InterFaced posted:

I always wondered if there were any consequences of Phillip Seymour Hoffman getting high on heroin and banging random hookers.

Breetai posted:

"unapologetic" is the new "narcissistic oval office"

Shumagorath posted:

toggle posted:

Its raining men

Otisburg posted:

E:also have a dessa one. no hoverhand. Direct shoulder contact

Wicker Man posted:

I've never seen a handsome, physically fit dude go out of his way to bang a fat person. Never.

paco650 posted:

After that guy who was an insufferable "ambivert" wine nerd self-fellater but had his life reasonably together, I'm glad you were able to bring us back down to a nice, regularly offensive "I'm looking into hypnosis so I can piss my diaper like a real baby."

Hollandia posted:

vyst posted:

Don't be mad that you don't meet her requirements

NotAnArtist posted:

I know exactly what that person looks like

computer parts posted:

amusinginquiry posted:

People get mad because animes look too white