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our WTU did a lot more cocaine than work, I don't know if that's the norm or a SETAF specialty
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Mar 12, 2015 22:11
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I was probably a lovely armorer but unless your weapon was blatantly filthy and / or you were someone lovely who outranked me I usually didn't bounce anything back ever because I wanted to go home too. Army would probably run a lot better if everyone with broken marriages or other home problems lost any ability whatsoever to prolong the workday.
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Mar 14, 2015 10:20
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Zeris posted:I felt worst for the canadian cargo helicopter dudes, because I'd give them what basic intel I could and basically apologize for the subtextual message that if any Talibans put their minds towards shooting down em down, they were gonna do it. One of our guys was going to BAF or whatever in one of those Canadian choppers, they picked up some more people and then I guess got lit up. Some goat herder got lucky and hit one of the passengers in the rear end. Everyone else on the bird stuffed this dudes backup rear end in a top hat with everything in the IFAK/ILSK whatever and they made an emergency landing at a French base and everyone is fine now but just kind of a funny story.
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Mar 31, 2015 02:23
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I drew short straw and managed the company's ammo dump and it was always neat to see fifty-cal ammunition that had inspection slips going back to the early fifties or whatever. Ammo was probably some of these best I'd seen too, so good work long line of dudes who got hosed over before me.
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Jul 18, 2015 10:46
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FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:we had a nco trying to tell us to half-cock the saw so you could put the safety on b-b-b-but the red is showing!!!! you'll kill everyone!!! 
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Jul 24, 2015 01:26
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Yeah living in cages all day is pretty loving army even for the army. Seems like something you'd only hear about in a legend, like what a power hungry staff duty made a group of extra duty soldiers do until he got fired or promoted or whatever.
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Sep 9, 2015 11:55
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Is it the same as the flame retardant ACUs? That stuff was great in the cold-rear end Afghan winter but felt like the heaviest, most uncomfortable poo poo the other times.
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Sep 12, 2015 23:58
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If you need / want to get your feet wet after the military just go do some time in a local community college, assuming your state actually gives them money and they're not all hosed up. Can be a good way to transfer back, the population is all sorts of ages and levels of weirdness, still has yoga butts and if you were a gently caress up like me in high school you can get your GPA nice and padded in order to get into a real school. Also it's cheap and you can probably afford to pay out of pocket if you saved any of your deployment money at all.
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Sep 14, 2015 10:08
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Alternatively if your school has a decent health plan you could just keep it not have to worry about going to the VA for that time. I'd pay $1400 / yr to avoid that poo poo.
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Sep 16, 2015 23:38
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173rd was okay because Italy was kind of okay and also we pretty much never jumped and never had anywhere to train and didn't really have vehicles to maintain so I guess that whole thing could have been a lot dumber.
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Oct 1, 2015 13:07
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My squad leader gave SAWs based on GT score, one for the highest and one for the lowest. That dude was literally on drugs a lot of the time and I think it showed.
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Nov 6, 2015 01:35
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My squad leader loving loved country captain chicken. He also had a serious problem with his rear end and would poo poo like a half dozen times per day, like during missions stop the convoy and poo poo, during literal firefights take cover, take a poo poo, etc. I'm positive those were correlated with each other and also the half case of sugar free Rip-its he'd pound on the daily. Also vegetable crackers in the ravioli MRE with jalapeno cheese sauce from something else was very much my poo poo, along with pretty much the entire chicken with noodles meal - you get cheese and crackers, candy, and an okay entree - outside of enchilada you'd be hard pressed to do any better. Stanley Goodspeed fucked around with this message at 07:20 on Feb 17, 2016 |
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Feb 17, 2016 07:18
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We were on some bullshit multiday mission walking through the mountains and got helicopter resupplied at night, and I got tapped to go get water and MREs for my team, was walking along a terrace and heading toward the LZ which under night vision looked like it was in a field of grass so I headed for it but it wasn't grass it was actually a field of really tall corn so I stepped out and face planted like six or eight feet down on the next terrace and broke my NODs and anyway this was also the only time I got stuck with the omelet meal and also got prickly heat on that mission and yeah that's my story.
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Feb 17, 2016 08:01
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Yeah in the 173rd you were kind of looked down on if you were E-6 without your tab, and a giant dirtbag if you somehow got your E-7 without it. Most of the dudes that fell into those groups came from the non-Airborne / non-light (ie less lovely) infantry, so I guess it's more chill over there.
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Feb 24, 2016 01:30
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this all happened because they got complacent need to remain cognizant of where your nods are nco's should have been doing pccs and pcis of their joes joes should have been doing 5s and 25s (also gently caress them because they're still in)
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Mar 2, 2016 09:06
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You get paid the same whether you're on vacation, work a half-day with four-day weekends on either side, pull a normal 9-5 or are on 24 hour duty. Meals are also built into the pay for the majority of soldiers. Army doesn't really suffer doing this, only the dudes who have to sit around.
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Mar 2, 2016 12:42
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Yeah the 173rd bucked the retard trend too, keep your first aid pouch in the same spot and it's whatever. Dudes had all sorts of wazoo poo poo, custom scopes for their M-14s, their own plate carriers, it looked like a rich kid's airsoft convention. The individual platoons were pretty widely dispersed though so I just think none of us were seen long enough by anyone important for them to give a poo poo.
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Apr 11, 2016 10:10
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Yeah one of the shithole outposts I was at required IBA / IOTV and helmet anytime you were outside, so pretty much everyone in the platoon was rocking a chest rig or FLC or whatever pretty quick so they didn't have to carry all their poo poo everytime they went to take a poo poo or grab chow.
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Apr 13, 2016 03:34
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Bogarts posted:Wasn't there a guy here who couldn't clear CIF because something he had was covered in blood from when he got shot? Yeah my buddy had that happen to him, finally just ended up dumping a bottle of bleach onto his IOTV, turned it into arctic camo (but still had some blood on it).
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Apr 15, 2016 20:13
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92Y is supply and I pretty much never saw our supply guy outside of his bed. He also always had access to fast food, new movies, all the nice poo poo even during the locked down training events and / or deployments. Buuut it's the Army so I'm sure it sucks in some less obvious way.
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Apr 28, 2016 21:31
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Always looked like the maintenance and mechanic jobs were pretty terrible, at least the support company guys, maybe the higher level jobs were more chill. C/d?
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Apr 28, 2016 21:48
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Yeah I took over the company armorer position so I could mostly ride a desk out during my stop-loss deployment and by the third or fourth inventory I was ready to stomp on IEDs and climb up mountains for no reason again. That poo poo sucked terribly. Every single thing that ever went to maintenance or broke, no matter how well documented, turned whatever LT's brain to mush. I somehow ended up doing the ammunition too and remember one incident where a we had to send a patrol to go search around a site they had been ambushed at a couple days prior to find and retrieve an expended AT4 tube because someone at battalion insisted that even the empties were sensitive and needed to be accounted for. I didn't even show up to the final handover inventory, thought I was going to end up going to jail or owing the Army a million loving dollars for some missing Vietnam-era seismic sensing equipment or something. I just had some of my guys walk the commander through everything and sign it over to the next poor fucker to inherit my curse. One of them came back and told me it was all good and nothing was missing and it was pretty much on par with getting out of the Army in terms of how happy I was.
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May 10, 2016 11:06
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Wasabi the J posted:We're now doing a FLIPL for an item that never existed. Isn't there a way to get stuff struck from the books without having to go through all that? Or did you guys just speed past reasonable and end up in full loving retard zone by the time anyone noticed? Where is your supply guy?
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May 10, 2016 19:45
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Too late now but it's usually easier to get yourself an electric scratch pen / etching tool and just note the "correct" serial below the real one, assuming you're reading poo poo off to a dude with a clipboard or whatever.
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May 10, 2016 20:30
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Oh I thought you had a typo on the inventory for something you actually owned or whatever. I guess etch SMDFTB-FTA onto your commander instead then. gently caress property and gently caress the army.
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May 10, 2016 20:43
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:oh is KAF the land of pizza and insanity? I think I got that confused with Bagram earlier. Never went to Afghanistan but the stories I heard, much like the one Wasabi posted, have all been just loving insane. Bagram had a bunch of fast food poo poo by their main PX for a little bit, along with hour long massages for $20 by sometimes vaguely attractive Kyrgyz women. It got shut down a bunch of times though, once because McChrystal was a jerk and a bunch of times because of ridiculous health violations. If your deployment happened to be during one of those times then you might have missed eating rotten chicken and powder frappucinos before you ended up at your shithole COP wherever. I don't know I didn't mind BAF because I was only ever there for a day or two at a time before / after leave and deployments and poo poo. If I had to live there and do actual work that place would be a hellhole.
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May 26, 2016 19:09
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Is PRK the only thing the Army offers or can you get Lasik also? I missed the boat for it while I was in and got Lasik later and the whole "invisible light does everything" bit was pretty cool. Actual discomfort was like a single minute during the procedure as they suction cup your eyeballs in place and then like half an hour after of light sensitivity and grit. I was enjoying perfect vision without discomfort an hour after it was all said and done, pretty cool IMO if you got poo poo eyes and extra money.
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Aug 1, 2016 09:55
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gently caress the army and gently caress glasses and especially gently caress wearing glasses in the army, especially since people give a poo poo about eye-pro nowadays.
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Aug 1, 2016 09:56
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We had some Vietnam era early warning systems where you buried random probes in the dirt and it picked up vibrations from the breeze and blinked a tired old amber light next to a faded metal plate engraved "tank battalion" or whatever. That was somehow sensitive and had to be locked up in the arms room and inventoried every month. I also remember battalion going nuts and making us go back out to try to find a spent AT4 tube that got discarded after firing. That felt pretty silly to go back to where you got ambushed in order to find a piece of plastic.
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Aug 20, 2016 19:37
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Pesticide20 posted:In Italy I had a room like that. poo poo sucked because the only privacy I ever had was whole taking a poo poo or showering. Caserma Ederle's infantry barracks? I was always envious of the HHC fuckers who got their own room, a common area, and kitchenette, but at least I wasn't one of the lucky ones crammed 3-4 into a room until they could find space.
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Sep 8, 2016 01:59
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I remember having a real, actual gate but then parking a humvee up against it every night for extra security from zerglings or whatever. The actual perimeter was literally just rocks and poo poo in some places but goddamn if that gate wasn't locked up tight.
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Sep 29, 2016 11:30
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What was that poo poo called when you were on a bigger mission and everytime you hit some objective or waypoint or phaseline you'd radio up a different codeword and they were alphabetical and poo poo like sportsball teams or beers or whatever? Like you clear the village and you're like "Becks" and then you go to the next place and you radio up "Coors"?
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Oct 13, 2016 21:42
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Icon Of Sin posted:Say it with me: "YakTrax" lol we got those in Afghanistan and of course weirdly enough walking on a bunch of rocks and poo poo wrecks them pretty quick and my team leader wanted to write just me up for breaking mine even though everyone in the platoon was in the exact same situation and I guess what I'm trying to get at is gently caress the army
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Oct 21, 2016 02:04
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TBeats posted:I was sick and the doctor told me I could possibly have mono but it didn't have mono and I knew it but I told everyone I did and that's how I got out of EIB one October in Korea.  warning:I had my wisdom teeth pulled out while I was in the Army and surprise surprise they hosed it up. The first one they pulled they stuffed where it was with mouth gauze or whatever but never scheduled a follow up to remove it, and I was wigged out on percocet and had no escort so had a pretty poor idea of what the gently caress was going on. I went back to my room and enjoyed my profile and pain pills and didn't do poo poo for a bit. A week later or so I'm off profile, show up to work but my jaw is swollen up and my whole mouth tastes like something died in it. I manage to skip out on PT and get to do an emergency dental thing. A new dentist sits me down, takes a look and is horrified and what he sees. I get the numbing treatment and he cuts the stitches or whatever is in there, and for the first time ever I could actually watch a stench travel across the room. It hits me first since it's in my drat mouth, then almost immediately the dentist recoils, and then the assistant and nurse in the back of the room turn with the most disgusted looks on their faces. He starts rummaging around in my mouth and begins pulling out pieces of gauze or whatever they packed my mouth with. Every time he removes one he shakes it in front of my face and angrily asks "do you SEE this?!" and then flicks it onto the hygiene dental apron I'm wearing, like I'm a dog that just took a piss in the kitchen and need to be shown how wrong I am. He finishes up, irrigates everything and sews it back up, actually schedules a follow up and gives me coherent instructions of what NOT to do, then prescribes me more pain pills and extends my profile for ten more days. Realizing I now have a golden goose in my jaw, I begin doing every activity on the "please don't do this" list. I'm smoking cigarettes, drinking milkshakes through a straw, eating food and ~accidentally~ getting it caught in the wound, etc. Every week I show up for a follow up at the dentist and I'm worse than before, more pills, more profile. A month long field problem comes and goes without me, I miss EIB, I'm somehow assigned to an college course which gets me out of another two months of uniform-wearing, PT and other duties and my platoon has largely forgotten about me. When I finally come back it's been several months, my squad leader is actually surprised I'm still in his squad / the Army, a bunch of other dudes have shown up and are now the cherri-est of cherries and I can just get on with chill normal level shamming. Anyway that's my story about cultivating a potentially serious infection in my jaw because it was still preferable to being in the Army.
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Oct 21, 2016 23:26
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mlmp08 posted:So how's your socket nowadays? You know unlike most of the long-term physical health consequences the Army inflicts, this one healed up nicely in the long run. I got lucky!
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Oct 22, 2016 02:44
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I was in a dumb COP at the bottom of a pretty steep valley, so ridgelines to shoot down into the COP in every direction. Just the absolute lowest ground because Army or whatever. Anyway a cool thing they did was set up rockets on time delay up in the hills and a day later or whatever they'd cook off and slam into the base or nearby or whatever. We only ever figured this out because we had a snowstorm / freeze out of nowhere and my buddy tripped on patrol and rolled down a hill and as he was climbing out of the snow realized he was wrapped up in some wires, which caused everyone to collectively poo poo themselves. We called EOD out and they uncovered the whole thing and anyway it was kind of funny that were dumping $Texas amounts of ordnance at the mountains every time we got hit when in reality the dudes that did it were probably long gone.
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Nov 15, 2016 22:05
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Oh yeah they did the mortar in the Hilux thing too and I'm a little sketchy on the details but I guess it happened enough that someone cleared an Apache to blow up the truck but it was the wrong truck and instead of mortars it was filled with doctors? I was at a different COP when this went down but it didn't do much for our ~Afghan partnerships~
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Nov 15, 2016 23:14
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McNally it really sucks your dad can't get VA benefits or whatever
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Nov 16, 2016 21:52
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Yeah I took over being armorer and did that poo poo with the roster of which gun bit belongs to which person and etc. because that poo poo was a mess. Also redesigned the signout forms since the normal ones have room for like five entries, which I guess was okay in 1970 or whenever but loving sucks nowadays since rifle / optic / laser / light / NVGs / all that other poo poo make each soldier take up 1-2 pages of signout (we didn't do weapon cards for some reason?), so when the whole company draws it's like 250 pages of documentation. Anyway I just shrank the whole thing down so I could fit a squad's worth of crap onto a single page, and I guess that's a really big deal because some colonel yelled at me during a security inspection. I guess it's okay to steal an M4 if you only signed a fake form?? What a jerk. < >
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Nov 23, 2016 01:51
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 13:50 |
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:Being that in a cav/armor/inf company must just be miserable It wasn't that bad to be honest, I actually kind of volunteered for it. My first deployment sucked rear end in a top hat and we got blown up and shot at a lot so I kind of didn't want to do real infantry poo poo anymore and getting into the company headquarters section was the easiest way to accomplish that. I ended up getting stop-lossed for my second deployment and mostly rode a desk instead of running up and down mountains so I'm pretty happy with how things turned out.
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Nov 23, 2016 02:14
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