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TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?

Hoover Dam posted:

Adrian Heath got so mad his pants split

Imagine the sound of pants ripping for seven consecutive months and you have Orlando's season.

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TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?
You are David Villa. You have been a Spanish champion, a Champions League winner, a Euro champion, a World Cup victor. You have scored for fun for the last two decades of your life. You have scored on passes from some of the most brilliant minds in the history of soccer. You have made world-class defenders look like kindergarteners. You still laugh at night when you recall the faces of goalkeepers who have screamed helplessly as you ripped balls past them into the net. And you just had your last shot on goal stuffed by Zach Loyd.

You cry quietly into your ceviche.

TheNakedJimbo fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Sep 13, 2015

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?
Michel just scored an Olimpico (again). This is his first start in some time, and he seems pretty determined to win his spot back.

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?

El Jebus posted:

Orlando is going to give KC 3 points aren't they? :(

I think at this point in Orlando's season, the question is not whether KC will score four goals, but whether they will score four goals before halftime. I've watched around half of Orlando's games this year, two of them in person, and the whole team just looks lost. They've conceded three or more goals in six of their last ten games, and only scored more than one goal twice over that same stretch. I think there are a couple of major culprits:
- No dangerous striker. Cyle Larin is absurdly good for a rookie, but he gets played alone up top a lot, and teams have game-planned for him at this point. Although he has the rookie scoring record, he has only scored in three of the past ten games.
- A revolving door in defense. Aurelien Collin has been a rock in the back, but the other CB was Seb Hines for a while, then it was Sean St. Ledger, now it's some Spanish guy. Left back was Brek Shea for a while, then Corey Ashe, now Luke Boden. Right back is Rafael Ramos on the rare occasions he's not serving a red-card suspension (he has, I believe, 3 reds this season). Tally Hall is a great goalkeeper but he doesn't have much to work with at this point.
- Adrian Heath. He won a couple of USL Pro championships, but being a good third-division coach doesn't mean you're a good first-division coach. All he seems to do is yowl at the referees; I don't think I can point to a single game that was impacted by his use of substitutions or his tactical acuity.

It seems awfully vague to say it could be the offense or the defense or the coach, but I think it's possible to point to tangible and noteworthy deficiencies in all three of those areas.

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?

Destroy My Sweater posted:

IF YOU DON'T SING
IF YOU DON'T JUMP
GO BACK TO (INSERT AWAY CITY)
YOU loving CUNTS

The supporter's groups got reprimanded for using this chant during Orlando's time in USL, so they supposedly changed the last line to "Where you belong." It's a dumb, lovely chant.

This is incredibly entertaining because when I went to the Orlando vs FC Dallas game, I just happened to be in front of 200 or so middle school kids in FCD gear, and they were louder than the Orlando supporters all night long.

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?
"I'll just finish watching the West Ham-Man City game before I tune in to Toronto-Colorado; I probably won't miss anyth":stare:

TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?
It's not as if Dallas has a stellar track record with DPs, though. If my previous DPs included Denilson, Andres Escobar (26 appearances, 2 goals), and Eric Hassli (15 appearances, 0 goals), you'd have a hard time convincing me to gamble millions of dollars on a marquee signing.

Moneyball still might win a championship. FCD is second in the west, and has already beaten LA once this season. If they meet again in the playoffs, Dallas has every chance of walking away with a victory. There's not much practical difference between winning the Shield and being an eight-seed, and I'm pretty sure more eight-seeds than one-seeds have won the Cup lately anyway.

Last night's loss wasn't a strategic error (that is, the overall strategy of marquee signings did not beat the overall strategy of kids). It was a tactical error. Pareja makes a lot of good tactical decisions, but putting a twenty-year-old goalkeeper up against Keane and dos Santos and Gerrard was not a good idea, to put it nicely. Playing Je-Vaughn Watson's shambling corpse at left back was a mistake when the much faster Ryan Hollingshead was on the bench (and you saw Watson get utterly taken to school by Gyasi Zardes on LA's first goal). There were some other issues as well, such as bad defensive positioning and a lot being demanded of Cirigliano in only his second start, but it's not as if this result was a stinging indictment of the entire idea of homegrowing players. It was a bad result against a team that played well. These things happen.

If someone like Cristiano Ronaldo becomes available and Dallas doesn't make a move for him, then I'll concede your point, but at present I think it's a bit of an overreach.

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TheNakedJimbo
Nov 18, 2004

If you die first, I am definitely going to eat you. The question is, if I die first...what are YOU gonna do?

Shinjobi posted:

I think my opinion has been painted by FCD sharing the same area with teams like the Cowboys and the Mavericks, where owners don't sweat spending money if they're confident they'll see a return. Between that and interviews with the owner I've come to really get the sense that this guy (who also owns the Kansas City Chiefs) either doesn't really care about the quality of the team or thinks he's a hell of a lot smarter than he is.

That's a fair point, although it's also worth considering FCD have been to more championship games since 1996 than the Cowboys have. Jones is a pretty good example of what we're talking about because he's made a lot of what you might call marquee signings, and it's really hard to point to a single one who has been as good as advertised.

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