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"You said it would never work! You laughed at me!" "No, Herr Gutenberg! Please!" "I am no longer Johann Gutenberg! I am...The Press!" "Aaaaagaack!" (gets buried alive under a deluge of bibles) "Don't worry. I'll invent the newspaper next. So I can print your obituary!" (laughs evilly) |
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Sep 25, 2015 03:40
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lol
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Sep 25, 2015 04:30
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| haha | |
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Sep 25, 2015 04:32
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hans lippershey crossing off |
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Sep 25, 2015 04:43
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"power! unlimited power! you are no match for the dark side  ""actually mr franklin you didnt invent electricity you just discov- aaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
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Sep 25, 2015 04:46
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TWIST FIST posted:"power! unlimited power! you are no match for the dark side ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2015 13:58
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"Haha, my heat ray makes Syracuse unassailable! Give up while you can, romans!" "drat, he's got us." (clenches jaw to reveal pearly whites) "Treachery! A spy opened the gate for them. I must invent another device to prevent mass looting." (Door opens. Rob Liefeld charge by Roman Soldier) "My-my circles" (dies) |
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Sep 25, 2015 15:02
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Uq: ugh! oo ak graaa! Ob: nnn um... Uq: *maniacal laughter, rolls a giant circular stone down the mountain and towards Ob's village* ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2015 15:34
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By night Eli Whitney fights crime as... Cotton Jim! |
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Sep 25, 2015 16:06
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TWIST FIST posted:"power! unlimited power! you are no match for the dark side |
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Sep 25, 2015 16:07
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an enormous, vaguely humanoid construct made up of 1,093 pieces of living machinery, encasing a man who used to be thomas edison, shambles toward new york city |
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Sep 25, 2015 16:15
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Jethro Tull's steel tipped plow ability is no match for tungsten carbide man, also everyone always thinks he's named after a progressive rock band |
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Sep 25, 2015 16:39
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grace jones witnesses an injustice and grows twice her normal size. now she can fight crime in the 1980's as big graces jones
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Sep 25, 2015 18:44
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Far above the earth... Wernher Von Braun: Gentlemen. Welcome to the Orbital Rocket Platform. Gregor Mendel......Nicolai Tesla.....James Watson.....Alfred Binet and his IQ test......Archimedes and his room full of sharp rocks and mirrors......Leonardo da Vinci.....guy who invented the shopping mall....and of course, Gary Laser. I've brought you, history's evilest inventors, here to discuss one thing: the destruction of Windows Infinity and the death of Dollar Bill Gates
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Sep 25, 2015 18:56
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mutant moses deathsquad moses accidentally gets dowsed in nuclear radiation when god pulls open a portal in time for a uranium rod to start the burning bush. he mutates into a flesh-craving deathclaw and god has to gather up an elite squad of angels (and demons) to take him down, or all of creation could be at stake
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Sep 25, 2015 18:59
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ron color posted:Far above the earth...
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Sep 25, 2015 19:02
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*mad scientist rubbing his hands together* finally, after discovering penicillin, i will use it in all medication... to wipe out all the ones allergic to it *benjamin minge duggar bursts into the secret lair full of moldy bread* not so fast alexander fleming
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Sep 25, 2015 19:08
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lol
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Sep 25, 2015 19:16
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Qwerinty posted:Uq: ugh! oo ak graaa!
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Sep 25, 2015 19:17
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Dr. Spencer Silver: Fry, this adhesive is so weak it's practically worthless. We'll never conquer the world with it. Arthur Fry: That's what you think, friend. Soon all of humanity will know our names. And if they forget..." (sticks a Post-It note to Silver's forehead) "...we'll remind them." |
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Sep 25, 2015 19:50
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Qwerinty posted:Uq: ugh! oo ak graaa! |
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Sep 25, 2015 19:53
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ron color posted:Far above the earth...
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Sep 25, 2015 19:55
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Karl Benz: Ahahaha my invention will decimate the environment, pollute the atmosphere, cause wars, kill thousands of people and and enslave the rest! All in a century's time! I will destroy the world! Muahah- Humanity: heck yeah where do I sign Benz: uh, no, see, I'm going to destroy the world. um, like a global extinction event. it's bad you're not supposed to be into it Humanity: ok, I want a red one Benz: no no, it's evil, your uh, your children will inherit a desolate waste and future generations will rue your- Humanity: my wife wants one too
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Sep 25, 2015 20:04
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Lil Cunty posted:Karl Benz: Ahahaha my invention will decimate the environment, pollute the atmosphere, cause wars, kill thousands of people and and enslave the rest! All in a century's time! I will destroy the world! Muahah-
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Sep 25, 2015 20:10
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Darwin: "...and people will misinterpret my work in an attempt to rationalize selfishness with made up phrases like 'Social Darwinism.' Mwaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Sep 25, 2015 20:22
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Qwerinty posted:Uq: ugh! oo ak graaa!
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Sep 25, 2015 20:55
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*albert einstein manically cackling while writing down his formulas* |
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Sep 25, 2015 21:34
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LOUIS PASTEUR: What... Where am I? Who are you?! ???: My old friend, I'm hurt! Even with your concussion and my scars, I would think you'd remember me... PASTEUR: It can't be...Franz von Soxhlet?! What do you want you fiend! SOXHLET [mocked indigent]: Moi? I want to help the world! Just. Like. You. and parade your own ugliness in front of you, for the rest of your life... PASTEUR: Then those huge copper vats... SOXHLET: That's right! It's miiiiiilk! I'm going to boil the world's milk supply and save mankind!! hahahahaha! PASTEUR: You.. you monster! Why are you doing this? SOXHLET: Why?! You don't remember? You make me sick. Let me remind you: the anthrax vaccine. You said it would be ready, that it could save my Helen! But she died before you completed it! Now you will suffer as I have suffered.... FRANZ VON SOXHLET throws a huge switch, electricity crackles, and the world is forever changed... ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2015 22:57
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Lil Cunty posted:Karl Benz: Ahahaha my invention will decimate the environment, pollute the atmosphere, cause wars, kill thousands of people and and enslave the rest! All in a century's time! I will destroy the world! Muahah- lmao ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2015 23:01
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Bosch: Yes... it's working! By compressing the air and utilizing a catalyst, we are able to turn air into nitrogen fertilizer! Haber: The possibilities are endless! However, the use I am most excited about is not the drastic increase in farmland that will allow the Earth to support billions of more people than it would be able to otherwise... No, I'm super excited about using that nitrogen to make bombs in a huge rear end World War. Also, I hope I get to use my chemistry knowledge to gas thousands of soldiers in this massive war. That would rule -- even if my wife shoots herself in the heart with my revolver because of it. Because I am Fritz Haber! The most evil man on earth! This is what I look like! Buahaha: 
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Sep 26, 2015 02:07
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Lil Cunty posted:Karl Benz: Ahahaha my invention will decimate the environment, pollute the atmosphere, cause wars, kill thousands of people and and enslave the rest! All in a century's time! I will destroy the world! Muahah- |
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Sep 26, 2015 02:08
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Joseph Marie Jacquard: *evil laughter* people think I've only created a new loom, when I have in fact changed humanity as we knot it!! *evil laughter continues* |
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Sep 26, 2015 09:39
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*Edward Jenner rubs his hands manically while looking at the cowpox pathogen* this... this will make the new superhumans, and world domination will be mine! I shall call them The Autists! |
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Sep 26, 2015 09:44
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ulvir posted:*Edward Jenner rubs his hands manically while looking at the cowpox pathogen* this... this will make the new superhumans, and world domination will be mine! I shall call them The Autists! shout outs to: Salmiakki posted:*mad scientist rubbing his hands together* finally, after discovering penicillin, i will use it in all medication... to wipe out all the ones allergic to it for inspiration |
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Sep 26, 2015 09:45
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**in a basement lab strewn with debris, empty food containers litter the floor and crudely drawn penis sketches cover the walls and drawing boards** Assistant: Mr. Goddard, you've done it! Robert Goddard: *eyes darting all about* Why yes, I have haven't I? I have *chuckles madly* I HAVE WEAPONIZED THE HUMAN PENIS! **a phallus-shaped rocket rises from the floor and crashes through the ceiling, ignites and takes off into the night sky** https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Sep 26, 2015 13:50
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john montagu at sea, staring at a slice of crudely-hewn ham between two entire loaves of bread : "no...no this isnt right...it needs...MORE..." a mate bursts in, "the spaniards are attacking, earl john!" "let them come," sneers john montagu, steepling his fingers, "when my invention is complete it will destroy the fabric of the british and spanish dinner table, all the same!" and the mate is cowering away like aaa this guy is crazy but I guess I have to work for him!!
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Sep 26, 2015 17:44
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joke_explainer posted:Bosch: Yes... it's working! By compressing the air and utilizing a catalyst, we are able to turn air into nitrogen fertilizer! Fritz Haber's life is interesting af |
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Sep 26, 2015 17:52
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Thomas Midgely, inventor of CFCs and leaded gasoline, invented a system of ropes and pulleys to help him get out of bed when post polio syndrome started to kill his legs. Onlooker: you've gone too far Midgley, this bed system will be your undoing!! Weeks later, Midgley, dying tangled up in his intention: no... noooo!!! |
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Sep 26, 2015 17:55
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alnilam posted:Thomas Midgely, inventor of CFCs and leaded gasoline, invented a system of ropes and pulleys to help him get out of bed when post polio syndrome started to kill his legs. This is a real life story btw |
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Sep 26, 2015 17:55
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| # ? May 4, 2024 06:39 |
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*Carl von Linde gazes at his latest discovery* I sense that, in the future, this will revolutionize the way murderers hide their victims 
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Sep 26, 2015 18:08
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