Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Eiba posted:

At the start, probably. But the last summary I read said that Han takes her and Finn to that force sensitive pirate lady who tells her ~something~, and she spends the rest of the movie making Finn carry Anakin's light saber until the climax.

Though putting it that way... perhaps she just gets told it had been used to kill dozens of children by Darth Vader. That would be a sympathetic motive for not touching the thing.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2015 10:34

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 07:15

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Aaronicon posted:

The leaked scene-by-scene does mention that there's a sequence where Kylo contacts his actual true boss, above Snoke Every Day, so I'm betting that the Knights Of Ren are just another front for the Sith coming back. I mean, there is one Sith still left alive, as far as we know. The Clone Wars cartoon, which is still canon, never got around to explaining exactly what Palpatine ended up doing with Maul after he came back.

Oh poo poo if Supreme Leader Snoke is elderly cyborg Darth Maul...

Or the namedropped but supposedly dead Darth Plagueis...

Or Luke wearing a disguise...

Speculate away!

Assepoester fucked around with this message at 05:42 on Oct 30, 2015

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 05:39

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Calaveron posted:

If they use a single original idea from the prequel trilogy or the extended universe then they are super stupid

They already are?

# ¿ Nov 3, 2015 14:16

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

What is Snoke is really Jar Jar?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 00:13

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

What if Starkiller Base is just a trap? Like what if you just say you built a planetary superweapon that destroys stars and everyone believes you because this is loving Star Wars and no one doubts superweapons? And you lure the Rebellion Alliance Resistance in to attack you and all the superweapon does is destroy those fancy new X-Wings real well?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 11:09

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Lady Naga posted:

You probably shouldn't have titled a thread that's 100% baseless speculation the "spoil-o-rama" thread.

It's not http://makingstarwars.net/2015/05/a-compiled-synopsis-of-star-wars-the-force-awakens/

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 14:20

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Grendels Dad posted:

Are "kyber" crystals a thing in the EU? Sounds like something Krusty The Klown would make up if he ever wrote a science fiction novel.

A kyber crystal is forever

And they're Disney canon, not just Legends

# ¿ Nov 30, 2015 16:12

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Yawgmoft posted:

My major gripe with this film was power creep. Even after meeting a Jedi Master and being in the rebellion for months Luke could still just barely force pull a lightsaber to him in a life and death situation in an ice cave. Then a completely untrained force sensitive person somehow kicks the poo poo out of a trained Jedi after learning about the force same day.

She's psychometric. She can learn expert laser sword skills from holding a laser sword.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2015 09:27

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Calaveron posted:

I imagine whoever leaks VIII will get sued so hard they never actually existed.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2016 20:52

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Thrawn is Snoke

# ¿ Jul 16, 2016 23:52

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Dash Rendar showing up with the same personality and demeanor as Brave and the Bold Aquaman would be great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE8C1WWixgc

Young Freud posted:

Supposedly the Chiss are humans but they turn blue because of their environment. Imagine breathing in, drinking, and ingesting colloidal silver everyday, you would turn blue, too.

And the glowing red eyes...?

# ¿ Jul 22, 2016 12:35

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjA6ZL0Z_k
or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIqF030XGpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VDJy2jTvvU
or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIcEw5vx000

wyoming posted:

He's evil.

Now that's Star Wars logic I can get behind.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2016 12:44

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Mantis42 posted:

Reminds me of the fold out Death Star toy I had in the 90s.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2016 00:27

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

If there's one constant here it's people severely overestimating the overall quality of the oldest Star Wars films

Bioshuffle posted:

Consider this. Jedi are some of the BEST users of the force in the entire world. Yet- when storm troopers shoot at them, they have to take ACTIVE action (ie using a light saber to deflect the shots) to avoid them. They can't use the force to get all the storm troopers to miss. This has been established. This is canon. Suddenly, you have some blind monk who is able to mysteriously make all the storm troopers miss him just with sheer will or use of the force? It does not add up. At all.

If you're willing to overlook this plot hole, more power to you. But this is absolutely a plot hole and weak writing at play. This matter is not up for debate.

TACTICAL REALISM

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 02:38

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

It's actually a really fun thought experiment to consider what we would think of A New Hope today if Empire hadn't come along

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 02:48

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Rey will be the new villain

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 03:24

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

CGI force ghost Leia or no sale

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 01:42

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU_b__MJJUk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFmRpQ9w2zs

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 09:03

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-aftaxJOTM

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 16:29

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_eek4pkTeQ

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 09:38

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZqI3bZ2oHo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCdzZtEAnoo

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 16:16

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 14:36

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5maIt37ZdlY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPoqQfG5Qdk

# ¿ Feb 5, 2017 23:04

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzzvE74hPDA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sk1fUTOijo

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 02:00

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Crackbone posted:

Thanks for aimless speculation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJrEUFcH1Mo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox-6vAifnXw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snTomzvUKMc

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 16:03

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3P-0GQn6No

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jgTk09BcjY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa50aLBVCAc

# ¿ Feb 19, 2017 18:25

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

thrawn527 posted:

That first Aftermath book was really bad. Second one was better, but still poo poo.

Like, I'll read the third, because I like some of the characters he's introduced. But the writing is awful.

Star Wars Fans read Aftermath so you don't have to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90VzgtNXPSs

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# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 14:25

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 07:15

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

More probably fake spoilers:

-Rey is a reincarnation of the first force user
-Anakin returns as a force ghost incarnation of hate
-Snoke is a ghost who can possess different bodies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL6hodXNUFk

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# ¿ Jun 17, 2017 12:08

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!