inane food chatter no one under 40 has to read

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joke_explainer

I just say server generally... like flight attendant, not gender specific or formerly masculine, right?

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:56

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# ? May 12, 2024 18:08

alnilam

joke_explainer posted:

If you like marinara and vinegar, that's is basically ketchup...

I recommend just trying something non-heinz, preferably something fresh or artisan mixed with hot sauce.

Just cause you like two things doesn't mean you like them together. I like onions and ice cream but not together. Basically this:

Lil Cunty posted:

"tomatoes are really good. vinegar is really good. spices are really good. sugar is really good. I'm going to make all these things horrible by mixing them together" -Thomas Ketchup, a real fucker

Anyway I've tried plenty of very high end ketchups including my housemate's home made one. Can't stand them. Nope.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:56

Lil Cunty

Piso Mojado posted:

jesus christ.

let's do this, ace

*tapes fists with the sticky side out, rolls them in broken banana runts*

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:57

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
(But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive ketchup with it.
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Ketchup. Mmmmmm.)

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:57

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

braising foods: good or bad?

good

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:57

Lil Cunty

*eats fists*

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:57

Lil Cunty

Chill la Chill posted:

braising foods: good or bad?

good

agreed

leeks braised in cream every thanksgiving

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:58

alnilam

opinion: red wine in tomato sauce, yes please

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:58

alnilam

also, red wine directly in my mouth, also yes please

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:59

Piso Mojado

hell there some foods i dont even like other than the fact they are ketchup delivery vehicles like hot dogs and french fries and baked potatos.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 20:59

Lil Cunty

opinion: Colorado style sauces are too sweet for enchiladas

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:00

Lil Cunty

opinion: all food should have holes in the end so you can wear them on your fingers like olives and uh, Cornish games hens I guess

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:01

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

i don't have a slow cooker or crock pot in my apt but I want to make jambalaya this makes me furious

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:01

Piso Mojado

Lil Cunty posted:

opinion: all food should have holes in the end so you can wear them on your fingers like olives and uh, Cornish games hens I guess

theres a flavor of bugles for nearly every food out there.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:02

Lil Cunty

you can find them at goodwill all the time without lids

you can find lids there too with patience it's just mixing and matching for a while

e: crockpots I mean not bugles

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:04

Piso Mojado

Chill la Chill posted:

i don't have a slow cooker or crock pot in my apt but I want to make jambalaya this makes me furious

if you dont have a crockpot and not living in a third world country then you need to go to the store NOW! My crockpot is basically family to me, its one of my best friends. Her name is Crocksanne.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:06

Piso Mojado

my slow cooker is name Fran Pressure, if anyone was wondering

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:08

Wertjoe

You know what sucks is Ranch. I live in st Louis and they were going to open a ranch themed restaurant where everything had ranch in it and it was going to be dirtnasty but all these fatties were super excited about it. The level of excitement directly correlated to the amount of breathing they did through their mouth. They belonged on a dang ranch, id say!

On a positive note, breakfast food. Say what you will about the bacon fanbase, breakfast is here to stay.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:08

Robot Made of Meat

Piso Mojado posted:

Crocksanne.

Does she have a red light?

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:08

Lil Cunty

ranch > ketchup

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:08

Piso Mojado

Wertjoe posted:

You know what sucks is Ranch. I live in st Louis and they were going to open a ranch themed restaurant where everything had ranch in it and it was going to be dirtnasty but all these fatties were super excited about it. The level of excitement directly correlated to the amount of breathing they did through their mouth. They belonged on a dang ranch, id say!

On a positive note, breakfast food. Say what you will about the bacon fanbase, breakfast is here to stay.

haha. my friends husband was the orig head chef there.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:09

Piso Mojado

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Does she have a red light?

she absolutely does.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:10

Robot Made of Meat

Lil Cunty posted:

ranch > ketchup

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:10

Wertjoe

A worm from some dirt > ketchup

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:10

Lil Cunty

*flips table like Jesus in the temple* you got a problem with ranch buddy? I suppose you have a problem with freedom too, pinko

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:10

Wertjoe

Piso Mojado posted:

haha. my friends husband was the orig head chef there.

That's funny. I actually read an article about how the place was having issues finding a chef now that he left. He made a good call I'd bet. No one wants to be type cast as the Ranch Man.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:12

Lil Cunty

I would marry the ranch man

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:13

Lil Cunty

I would move onto his ranch ranch and ranch ranch by his side

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:14

Wertjoe

Lil Cunty posted:

*flips table like Jesus in the temple* you got a problem with ranch buddy? I suppose you have a problem with freedom too, pinko

Yeah I got a problem with ranch! A real problem!! An addiction you might say! Maybe I outwardly pretend to be disgusted by ranch so no one will suspect that I dip my fat hocks in a barrel of ranch every night and lick them clean like a good boys plate at dinner time!!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU CAME FOR!!!! I LOVE RANCH!!!

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:15

Lil Cunty

idiots after gourmet chef lazily squirts some lemon juice into a gob of mayo: it's a picante lemon aioli how droll. yum delish he's truly outdone himself this time my compliments

idiots after I lovingly fold a select blend of American spices into equal parts buttermilk and homemade mayonnaise: ranch dressing my god what is this, prison? I wish I was dead I will literally die before I deign to partake in this tasty treat that improves nearly any meal

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:21

Piso Mojado

It began with the creation of the great ranch dressing. Some was put on salads, fair and healthiest of sides. Some applied to pizza, great circles of bread, sauce, and cheese . And the rest was slopped on everything in midwest who above all else desired calories. For within this dressing was the the power to make any food better.

But they were all of them deceived for another ranch was made. In the land of Hidden Valley, deep in the fiery test kitchens, a complete rear end in a top hat forged in secret a fat-free ranch, to look identical and ruin all food. And into this vile poison, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to ruin the meals of anyone who accidentally bought it while stoned at the store.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:27

Wertjoe

Piso Mojado posted:

It began with the creation of the great ranch dressing. Some was put on salads, fair and healthiest of sides. Some applied to pizza, great circles of bread, sauce, and cheese . And the rest was slopped on everything in midwest who above all else desired calories. For within this dressing was the the power to make any food better.

But they were all of them deceived for another ranch was made. In the land of Hidden Valley, deep in the fiery test kitchens, a complete rear end in a top hat forged in secret a fat-free ranch, to look identical and ruin all food. And into this vile poison, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to ruin the meals of anyone who accidentally bought it while stoned at the store.

This
And so Fran Pressure lol

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:29

Lil Cunty

Piso Mojado posted:

It began with the creation of the great ranch dressing. Some was put on salads, fair and healthiest of sides. Some applied to pizza, great circles of bread, sauce, and cheese . And the rest was slopped on everything in midwest who above all else desired calories. For within this dressing was the the power to make any food better.

But they were all of them deceived for another ranch was made. In the land of Hidden Valley, deep in the fiery test kitchens, a complete rear end in a top hat forged in secret a fat-free ranch, to look identical and ruin all food. And into this vile poison, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to ruin the meals of anyone who accidentally bought it while stoned at the store.

I thought that was you behind me at the store last night

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:30

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

Lil Cunty posted:

you can find them at goodwill all the time without lids

you can find lids there too with patience it's just mixing and matching for a while

e: crockpots I mean not bugles