Autisanal Cheese posted:

sebmojo posted:

What are you gonna do, entomb me?
-entombed man

Lemniscate Blue posted:

I imagine there's a lot of overlap.

I am no good at keeping track of who is whose alt, so I'll ask here: Does anyone know who has the most alts on the most-ignored list?

Karate Bastard posted:

No I have no idea why this post in particular ticked me off, when there are so many others to rub myself sideways with, and yes I have seen your post history thank you very much

Captain Hygiene posted:

Please warn me if a link I click on will take me to ASCII anime, I am very sensitive to such things

Milo and POTUS posted:

i cannot think of a single obvious reason for faucet dick that doesnt involve a grievous bodily injury or a horrible malformation

emSparkly posted:

Dare I look for some of his other greatest hits?

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Check for yourself if you don't believe me. Where have they gone to?

There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I'm uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he'd be just as gone as them. There's no cause for alarm.

Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It's a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don't think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer's eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world.

Aeroplanes don't exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven't changed, but the atmosphere..

One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven.

Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar panel and ribbons of golden cloth. It's a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We've given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire.

I'm starting to wish the Muslims were back.

We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they're mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. "Look at how they wield their guns," writes a man. "I always said he'd take our guns away." They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife!

It's long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can't bring myself to blame him for it. He's reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb...

sebmojo posted:

The video is four hours long.

Arivia posted:

No. What does it mean?

LifeSunDeath posted:

https://i.imgur.com/Yvh9BsN.mp4

Drone_Fragger posted:

Precisions machines famously love being on fire ans unevenly heated. Makes them stronger, more powerful. Kinda like the trees that survive wildfires.

Javid posted:

Not as warped as the operators will be after feasting on chicken smoked in cutting oil and assorted metal particulates

Kith posted:

https://i.imgur.com/OSGEjUR.mp4

Scholtz posted:

Ok so it's wrong to use a lathe for whole chickens, but drumsticks are fine?

Karate Bastard posted:

Being sensitive to flickering sounds like it could suck a whole bunch.

It seems like it should be possible to make a browser plugin that pre-screens graphical elements like gifs, videos etc and hides them behind a warning / rating if they flicker dangerously. I don't have the skills but someone else might? Maybe it already exists?

Milo and POTUS posted:

When one of the "is the forum gonna die" moments happened (love that there are multiple btw), there was I think a last minute confession thread in gbs and someone said they bought it just for a laugh and I assumed they were telling the truth because to lie about that would be somehow more embarrassing.