SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

I think the Republic has really gone downhill since the revolution. We need President Aaron Burr to make America great again.

We can respect George Washington's desire to step out of the spotlight by making him the vice president. This would also balance the ticket between New York and Virginia.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 12:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 15:42

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Friends, for far too long our newborn Republic has suffered under the viciousness of Federalism and the self-interest of the Massachusetts/New York political axis. Many of our fellow citizens may have been duped by the screeds of the monarchist Hamilton, but men of the South like Jefferson and Pickney will stand up for the vast great majority of Americans who do not bow and pay homage to Boston and Albany.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2015 01:14

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

In our timeline we'd probably have slavery-related crises much earlier than reality, since in two elections we've elected anti-slavery candidates from MA/NY twice and look like we're set to do it a third time.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2015 02:10

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

QuoProQuid posted:

I've got Clay, Bryan, Debs, T. Roosevelt, and FDR in my "must watch" pile. I'm also curious about how goons will react to the moral dilemma that is Lincoln in 1864 and Kennedy in 1960.

A larger Nullification Crisis gives Thomas Jefferson something to do at least.

I look forward to such famous episodes in American history as

Michigan-Ohio Act of 1803
Fugitive Slave Act of 1806
"Bleeding Iowa"
Tecumseh allies with the Confederacy

# ¿ Nov 30, 2015 02:19

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

ugh I'm just going to write in William Pitt for president as a protest vote, adams is literally caesar

# ¿ Dec 7, 2015 03:41

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

National nominating conventions started in the 1820s. These were seen as anti-democratic in some states by 1920, so they began having primary elections that bound the delegates at the convention to the candidate who won the local primary. (There was an incident involving this in 1912, but I guess that's a spoiler.) They became a national thing after 1968.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2015 21:58

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

voting for madi$on because his warmongering stance toward the british will surely lead to them conquering america once more. gently caress this gay republic

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 23:58

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

what a surprise, a politician named Clinton talks out of both sides of their mouth

# ¿ Dec 27, 2015 15:26

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

SA Decides, 1788-2000: Trail of Democratic-Republican Tears

# ¿ Jan 3, 2016 22:26

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Henry Clay: right on the Ottoman Muslim Caliphate threat, right for America

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 00:20

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

QuoProQuid posted:

Lies, slander, and libel are part and parcel for early elections. John Adams was accused of being a hermaphrodite. The Federalists published obituaries of Thomas Jefferson to convince voters that he had died. It's only fitting that John Quincy Adams be accused of selling American women into prostitution and Jackson's marriage be torn to shreds.

That would be the era we are discussing right now. When the Jacksonians swept into power, they tore down most of the arbitrary restrictions on (white male) voters and abolished the most obviously undemocratic elements of govrenment. In 1820, for example, almost half of the states had their legislatures allocate electoral votes in presidential elections. By 1830, only South Carolina still distributed votes according to the Legislature.

And thanks, the fixes to the background have been made.

It's not our fault that the Adams Cosa Nostra is ruled by a senile hermaphrodite and involved in pimping out the flower of American womanhood to decadent Europeans. We need a Congressional committee to investigate why Quincy kept his diplomatic correspondence in a private notebook rather than the same one the rest of the foreign service uses.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 03:38

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

QuoProQuid posted:

Alexander Hamilton's ill-conceived crusade against John Adams.

How does Hamilton, the short-tempered, protean creator of the coast guard, founder of the New York Post ardently abuse his cabinet post and destroy his reputation?

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 02:57

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Free soil and free labor! #FeelTheBuren

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 06:25

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

TROUP!

*click*

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 16:39

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Nckdictator posted:

https://www.americanhistoryusa.com/campaign-trail/

The Campaign Trail's been updated with 1860, 1916, 1976, and 2016 (!?) if anyone wants to try their hand.

By my hand, Donald Trump and Ben Carson have become the masters of America. Chaos reigns, but you can store your emergency rations in the new gold-filigreed FEMA trailer pyramids.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 04:37

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

I think in this timeline I'd want to be living in Aaron Burr's western empire

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 03:55

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

andrew johnson, inventor of the GOP southern strategy

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 18:03

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Ulysses S. Grant posted:

The Jews, as a class violating every regulation of trade established by the Treasury Department and also department orders, are hereby expelled from the Department [of the Tennessee] within twenty-four hours from the receipt of this order.

Post commanders will see to it that all of this class of people be furnished passes and required to leave, and any one returning after such notification will be arrested and held in confinement until an opportunity occurs of sending them out as prisoners, unless furnished with permit from headquarters.

No passes will be given these people to visit headquarters for the purpose of making personal application of trade permits.

Ulysses S. Grant posted:

Sir,

I have long since believed that in spite of all the vigilance that can be infused into Post Commanders, that the Specie regulations of the Treasury Dept. have been violated, and that mostly by Jews and other unprincipled traders. So well satisfied of this have I been at this that I instructed the Commdg Officer at Columbus [Kentucky] to refuse all permits to Jews to come south, and frequently have had them expelled from the Dept. [of the Tennessee]. But they come in with their Carpet sacks in spite of all that can be done to prevent it. The Jews seem to be a privileged class that can travel any where. They will land at any wood yard or landing on the river and make their way through the country. If not permitted to buy Cotton themselves they will act as agents for someone else who will be at a Military post, with a Treasury permit to receive Cotton and pay for it in Treasury notes which the Jew will buy up at an agreed rate, paying gold.

There is but one way that I know of to reach this case. That is for Government to buy all the Cotton at a fixed rate and send it to Cairo, St Louis, or some other point to be sold. Then all traders, they are a curse to the Army, might be expelled.

More like Ulysses S. Hitler. Vote for Seymour!

fantastic in plastic has issued a correction as of 18:48 on Apr 10, 2016

# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 18:46

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

I'm going all the way again with JQA again

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 16:36

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Tilden seems pretty decent for the time

# ¿ May 4, 2016 09:31

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

This thread introduced me to both Hamilton and the Dollop so even if it dies along with the Republic in the impending Greenback Wars I am very happy I clicked on it.

# ¿ May 21, 2016 07:11

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Nebakenezzer posted:

The right villainous forces of FIAT CURRENCY, CORRUPTION, and FREE TRADERS (more like free-traitors, ought I be called correct) seek to undermine this just man AND his vallient beard!

verily, you ought be called correct

# ¿ May 26, 2016 06:24

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

QuoProQuid posted:

While I'm here and on the topic of bizarre futurism, I do want to highlight an absolutely phenomenal article published by The Strand magazine in 1893. The article's premise revolves around the discovery of a book from the future. In the future, it seems, fashion has become a well-respected science "governed by immutable laws." The article then summarizes and illustrates the future trends in fashion, using the mysterious book as guidance. Here are some of the illustrations:

I see people dressed like this in Portland all the time.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2016 04:24

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

"Not so long ago men stood in marvel and awe at the cities, the buildings, the schools, the autobahns that the government of Hitler's Germany had built -- just as centuries before they stood in wonder of Rome's building -- but it could not stand, for the system that built it had rotted the souls of the builders. And, in turn, rotted the foundation of what God meant that men should be. Today that same system on an international scale is sweeping the world. It is the "changing world" of which we are told. It is called "new" and "liberal". It is as old as the oldest dictator. It is degenerate and decadent. As the national racism of Hitler's Germany persecuted a national minority to the whim of a national majority, so the international racism of the liberals seek to persecute the international white minority to the whim of the international colored majority, so that we are footballed about according to the favor of the Afro-Asian bloc." --George Wallace, 1963

# ¿ Feb 1, 2017 02:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 15:42

fantastic in plastic: Jun 15, 2007; The Socialist Workers Party's newspaper proved to be a tough sell to downtown businessmen.

Nebakenezzer posted:

This is some master class "REVERSE RACISM" right here

Yeah, it's nuts. I think that whole speech (where the famous "Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever" line is from) is unfortunately relevant during the year of our Lord 2017.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2017 02:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.