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Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Sash! posted:

He is prone to showing frustration on the sideline, which means he doesn't have the nobility and bearing of a king.

Naw, he's a white dude, so it just shows that he cares extra and loves the game. You have him confused with a black QB who displays the same frustration because he's childish and likely a thug.

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Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Troy Queef posted:

0.87 Brock Osweilers

"The Brock Metric" is my new favorite measurable!

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Roasted Donut posted:

Actually, with the new OC in place, he's going to return to school to completely gently caress PSU over one more time before getting drafted in the second round by the Browns.

Rams

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

DrKennethNoisewater posted:

Naw, he's a white dude, so it just shows that he cares extra and loves the game. You have him confused with a black QB who displays the same frustration because he's childish and likely a thug.

Exception:

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
paxton lynch

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!


To think, I've been using my Surface Tablet incorrectly this whole time.

aBagorn
Aug 26, 2004

Bradford -> Foles -> Keenum -> Hackenberg

That's a Death SpiralTM if I've ever seen one

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
I'm glad this thread now also includes stories of Jake Locker's illustrious career. Such as that time where "nuh uh he's really good it's the receiver's fault" and "No you don't understand he doesn't have the tools around him"

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Probably an even better prospect than Hackenberg because he was both tall AND fast.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Did Locker run a Pro Style Offense? This is very important.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

i remember seeing exactly one jake locker play live on tv, he ran for a like 40 yard touchdown to tie the game up late in the 4th, then got flagged for excessive celebration for throwing the ball in the air so the kicker missed the XP

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Sash! posted:

BOB was a dark wizard that got McGloin to the NFL, so I credit him with that freshman season.

I'm certain getting sacked around 93,000 times in the last two seasons didn't help at all.

How is it that O'Brien made McGloin into an NFL quarterback but can't make his NFL quarterbacks into NFL quarterbacks?

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Alaois posted:

i remember seeing exactly one jake locker play live on tv, he ran for a like 40 yard touchdown to tie the game up late in the 4th, then got flagged for excessive celebration for throwing the ball in the air so the kicker missed the XP

oh my god that's right, that WAS him. That was so hilarious and sad all at once.

Diqnol
May 10, 2010


From the makers of Head On

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Frackie Robinson posted:

How is it that O'Brien made McGloin into an NFL quarterback but can't make his NFL quarterbacks into NFL quarterbacks?

Bread can be made into toast, but toast can't be made into super-toast. Or something.

Marin Karin
Jul 29, 2011

What are you, compared to my magnificence?

Frackie Robinson posted:

How is it that O'Brien made McGloin into an NFL quarterback but can't make his NFL quarterbacks into NFL quarterbacks?

I think both Fitzpatrick and Hoyer have looked their best while under BOB. The problem is, at the end of the day they're still just Fitzpatrick and Hoyer. Belichick couldn't make them look good against guys like Cam either. Case Keenum went 0-7 under Kubiak, but under BOB he won games with minimal preparation, including beating a superior Ravens team. I like BOB a lot, he just has to endure the Texans' intense fear of drafting a QB in the early rounds. David Carr was the last QB they drafted in the first round.

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
Paxton Lynch

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Marin Karin posted:

I think both Fitzpatrick and Hoyer have looked their best while under BOB. The problem is, at the end of the day they're still just Fitzpatrick and Hoyer. Belichick couldn't make them look good against guys like Cam either. Case Keenum went 0-7 under Kubiak, but under BOB he won games with minimal preparation, including beating a superior Ravens team. I like BOB a lot, he just has to endure the Texans' intense fear of drafting a QB in the early rounds. David Carr was the last QB they drafted in the first round.

besides david carr the only qbs the texans drafted to ever start a game are tj "godhead" yates and dave ragone.

i only know this exceedingly useless fact because i was pretty sure they'd never drafted a qb to start a game other than carr the elder.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris


I'm going to laugh so hard when Cam falls into obscurity after going one and out in the playoffs and Gabbert leads the 49ers into a dynasty next season.

Vando
Oct 26, 2007

stoats about
I predict Hackenberg to make a similar impact in the NFL to the last QB named Christian to be taken in the 1st

Roasted Donut
Aug 24, 2007

NWA WHITE POWERRR!!!!

Alaois posted:

i remember seeing exactly one jake locker play live on tv, he ran for a like 40 yard touchdown to tie the game up late in the 4th, then got flagged for excessive celebration for throwing the ball in the air so the kicker missed the XP

that was such a bull poo poo flag

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Roasted Donut posted:

that was such a bull poo poo flag

thank you

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

Vando posted:

I predict Hackenberg to make a similar impact in the NFL to the last QB named Christian to be taken in the 1st

Can't wait for Samantha Hackenberg's reports on College Gameday in 2017.

Catfish Stevens
Jul 9, 2001

WHO DAT? Who gives a damn?

Vando posted:

I predict Hackenberg to make a similar impact in the NFL to the last QB named Christian to be taken in the 1st

Technically Ponder did make it to the playoffs.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Chilichimp posted:

"The Brock Metric" is my new favorite measurable!

It's the opposite of How Many Altuves

Oh god Hackenberg is going to be a Texan I just know it. Please someone save me from the Hackenberg experience and draft him before he drops to the Texans

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

Intruder posted:

It's the opposite of How Many Altuves

Oh god Hackenberg is going to be a Texan I just know it. Please someone save me from the Hackenberg experience and draft him before he drops to the Texans

For the record Osweiler is 1.22 Altuves high

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Catfish Stevens posted:

Technically Ponder did make it to the playoffs.

AP should have an asterisk next to his second place, single season rushing record that refers to a footnote reading "achieved with Christian Ponder as QB".

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

DrKennethNoisewater posted:

AP should have an asterisk next to his second place, single season rushing record that refers to a footnote reading "achieved with Christian Ponder as QB".

Joe Webb carried that team :colbert:

Catfish Stevens
Jul 9, 2001

WHO DAT? Who gives a damn?

DrKennethNoisewater posted:

AP should have an asterisk next to his second place, single season rushing record that refers to a footnote reading "achieved with Christian Ponder as QB".

Agreed :)

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


@ChronBrianSmith
#Texans owner Bob McNair on franchise needing to invest in a QB this offseason via draft: "Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yes. The answer is yes."

Step one complete :getin:

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Vando posted:

I predict Hackenberg to make a similar impact in the NFL to the last QB named Christian to be taken in the 1st

Went to the Vikings store in the mall of america and the discount rack was loaded with high quality Ponder jerseys for $4.75

Vando
Oct 26, 2007

stoats about
Knowing my luck this prediction will have a monkey paw-esque twist and he'll be drafted by the Bears and inflict years of misery on Vikings fans.

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches
:siren:He declared:siren:

So can we turn this into a bet thread for who drafts him?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


He'd be better off staying.


I mean, that's the only way he's ever seeing a meaningful snap ever again at any level !

Steelers. BIG BEN is getting old. Time to draft a hot young QB.

Roasted Donut
Aug 24, 2007

NWA WHITE POWERRR!!!!
i loving hate him and whoever is dumb enough to draft him deserves him

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


Personal believer that he shanked some throws on purpose to devalue himself this year. End of last year he was clearly shellshocked.

I wear this tinfoil hat with pride.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Roasted Donut posted:

i loving hate him and whoever is dumb enough to draft him deserves him

It'll be the Ravens or Steelers. The curse of him following me around will continue

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


Bonus fun side bet: Odds on Steven Bench getting drafted over Hack go

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Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Chris James 2 posted:

@ChronBrianSmith
#Texans owner Bob McNair on franchise needing to invest in a QB this offseason via draft: "Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yes. The answer is yes."

Step one complete :getin:

what about Tom Savage though

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