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Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

deep impact on vhs posted:

pre:

                               ==Phrack Inc.==

                    Volume One, Issue 7, Phile 3 of 10

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The following was written shortly after my arrest...

                       \/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/

                                      by

                               +++The Mentor+++

                          Written on January 8, 1986
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

        Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers.  "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
        drat kids.  They're all alike.

        But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker?  Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
        I am a hacker, enter my world...
        Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
        drat underachiever.  They're all alike.

        I'm in junior high or high school.  I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction.  I understand it.  "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work.  I did it in my head..."
        drat kid.  Probably copied it.  They're all alike.

        I made a discovery today.  I found a computer.  Wait a second, this is
cool.  It does what I want it to.  If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up.  Not because it doesn't like me...
                Or feels threatened by me...
                Or thinks I'm a smart rear end...
                Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
        drat kid.  All he does is play games.  They're all alike.

        And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
found.
        "This is it... this is where I belong..."
        I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
        drat kid.  Tying up the phone line again.  They're all alike...

        You bet your rear end we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless.  We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic.  The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

        This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud.  We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals.  We explore... and you call us criminals.  We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals.  We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

        Yes, I am a criminal.  My crime is that of curiosity.  My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
for.

        I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto.  You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

                               +++The Mentor+++

drat, I haven't read that in a long time.

I remember once parsing it through Bonzi Buddy and recorded him reciting it for fun.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 08:35

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 11:12

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Gonzo the Eggman posted:

"From the makers of The Incredible Machine..."
Contraption Maker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXER2hPuZfw

drat that looks good. And drat I hate the term 'maker' for some reason.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 13:15

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

I used to play the poo poo out of this game back in university:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Paof1PY_baw

A lot of players didn't know that you could stack as many orders into one line as you wanted as long as the syntax was correct.

code:

 
Enterprise
Helm
180
6

You could say:

code:

Enterprise Helm 180 6

On top of that you could also from memory shorten the orders and the game figured out what you wanted, using the same above example:

code:

Ent H 180 6]

It also had a TCP/IP multiplayer version.

Humphreys has a new favorite as of 03:02 on Jan 16, 2016

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 02:58

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Wall Balls posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqrftlCAic0

Ah carmageddon. I got it from a friend who went to Bali and brought back a bunch of pirated games.

The CD-ROM was also Redbook compliant and all the soundtrack could be played using a normal CD Player. I used to play the poo poo out of the audio more than the game (I had a lovely Ipex P75 at the time).

It took maybe 5-10 years after finding a metal band and buying their back catalog to discover that the sountrack was literally this without lyrics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-RdsIst6p4

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 08:18

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

The Kins posted:

The best part of Carmageddon was how the developers were headcases. For example, their artists were having trouble trying to figure out how people would realistically react to being hit by a car... so they asked a friend if he'd politely volunteer to do some stuntwork for them out in the car park.

It's okay! It was perfectly safe! He stuffed some corrugated cardboard up his jumper.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDGmb3wwvE0

And Tony was the face in the 'prat cam'!

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 09:45

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Mr_Angry posted:

And my favorite mod, just found as I was thinking back on this, "12th Warrior" by Dr. Awesome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fyf6jLl5mo.

Never heard it before but wow that is a good tune. Will admit I spent a good chunk of time trying to find a proper version thinking it was just a remake of a song.

It really sounded like something Blutengel would have made.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 13:31

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

There was a game I used to play with a friend called 'Tumble Bugs' or similar. Every search I do comes up with some puzzle game unfortunately. The one I've been looking for was out sometime between 1998 and 2001. It was an Isometric shoot em up arena deathmatch game. Little planes/spaceships flying around the screen and you could play a 2 player deathmatch with both players sharing a keyboard if I remember correctly (could have been keyboard for one player and mouse for second).

If anyone can help that would be amazing.

Also A legit source for 'Raptor' would be awesome.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 08:57

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

The Kins posted:

This Raptor?

You can grab the original DOS version from Steam for five bucks. You can also grab a really bad Windows version for the same price.

Honestly, though, you're better off remembering that Tyrian was way better, and grabbing OpenTyrian - it's free, and it's been ported to pretty much every platform!

Thankyou soo much - I enjoyed the DOS version soo much. I will take your advise and try the free Tryian, and also buy the steam version.

A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:

I think that this is the Tumble Bugs you're looking for.

http://vcg.isti.cnr.it/~tarini/?3?tumble_bugs.html

Holy gently caress! That's the one! I even remember the medical software background.

Thread delivers! If I wasn't poor I'd give custom forum things to both of you.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 12:23

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

sandoz posted:

CADKEY still exists, though now it is called Kubotek KeyCreator and I use it every day at work. They definitely do licensing by year now, and they only in the last three or four years finally moved from USB dongles to web-based activation.

When I did video production, some of the software packages were USB dongles and it was great. Then they moved to Online and it really irritated me, as our editing stations were completely air gapped.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 08:51

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Mechanism Eight posted:

good lord

Which rad af operator logo did you all have as kids?

I forked out for the F/M Bus cable so I made a bit of money loading logos and tones. Also unlocking was a big thing those days.

I remember an older phone - the Ericsson A1018s I had that I reflashed with a home made cable to instead of act like a phone, would copy any SIM that was inserted.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 04:02

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Ein cooler Typ posted:

I've got this monstrosity too

It's the only way to play the greatest game ever made: Desert Bus

I had it burned on a CD-R but now it doesn't work anymore

my next picture will be the smoldering remains of my house after the electrical fire

drat it felt cool being the only kid with the full 'Aircraft Carrier Config' as we called it. Then we played some games and it was lovely and not worth the hype. Especially the games that required both 32x and SegaCD

# ¿ Jan 25, 2016 14:27

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

The Kins posted:

Virtua Cop was Sega's lightgun game.

Time Crisis was Namco's answer. It had a big "ACTION" pedal that you stepped down on to jump out of cover, and let your foot off to reload dodge attacks.

I had a copy of Virtua Cop of dodgy origins on PC back when it came out. For hte life of me I couldnt never get audio to work. I wonder if it was some kind of Bleem! conversion gone wrong.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2016 08:46

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

TotalLossBrain posted:

You were expected to draw your own maps on paper as you went.

I used to make maps when I was hired to test KKnD Xtreme. I would draw every drat square of the map on butchers paper and map out where all enemies were and where glitches happened.

(back when a company would pay to alpha/beta test games instead of charging for it so people would feel involved by volunteering in the dev process)

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 09:31

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Lathespin.gif posted:

somehow missed a turn while mapping the undergound in myst and after a few days ended up calling a buddy on a landline to consult his handwritten notes and maps crew represent

e: pretty dang sure it was going northeast at PS or P on this map

Which P?

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 17:44

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

TotalLossBrain posted:

This thread inspired me to read some old gaming magazines on some Internet archive. The staff for one publication would hold "call-in days" every month where the writers would man the phones for the hordes to call and ask for help with games. I am not sure if that was strictly for gameplay or if it included hw/sw troubleshooting.
It sounds terrible for the writers.

Also with gaming magazines, getting onto the highscore list in the back page consisted of trying to take photos of the score which would always wash out from the flash on the CRT, get them developed, mail them to the magazine, and hope that your month or more of hard work beating the score wasn't beaten the same month and your photos just tossed out.

Another good memory was my mailman was an rear end in a top hat that rolled my subscription magazines and put them in the mailbox - which curved or cracked the CDROMs. I called them about it (i was maybe 13) and they sent me the CDs again, and hand wrote in permanent marker on the plastic DO NOT FOLD OR ROLL EVER after that. The magazine staff really seemed to care back then. Especially when I won every competition in the mag one month. They called me and explained that I did win and would get all the prizes, but for the sake of it not looking rigged, do not tell people about it. They also drew prizes again and gave them to other people. They really could have just NOT let me know I was drawn the winner on everything and just sent one prize - as if I would know.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 08:46

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Wicker Man posted:

Did anyone else play this other bike game and focus solely on loving up the other racers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bHl4l7utnU

Wintermutant posted:

Road Rash is one of my favorite games of all time, and if you liked it, it's worth checking out Road Redemption on Steam, a spiritual sequel that's still in Early Access, but is very far along and frequently updated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyno4Ugo8t4

# ¿ Feb 5, 2016 08:48

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

thathonkey posted:

somebody posted it last page but I had forgotten all about Paint Shop Pro. haha what a piece of absolute garbage that software was. especially given that photoshop was around at the time.

but iirc it was a fraction of the cost. that only mattered if you were too stupid to

I used both in conjuction with each other. Photoshop for image manipulation, then over to PSP for text as it had better (or easier) tools for it at the time.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2016 01:59

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Keith Atherton posted:

Oh my god someone actually implemented that?!?!

I worked in a building at MS that had the Exchange and Outlook teams. There was a big banner in the atrium that said "Microsoft Exchange" and someone added an "S" in front of "Exchange" and it caused a big ruckus because there was someone who worked in the building who was a transsexual.

Back in 1994 or so the corporate email distribution tech was primitive. "Dad" resolved to Desktop Applications Division. One time a group of contractors had a social email thread going and someone send a mail about a coworkers hairy rear end and jokingly put "(Person's) Dad" in the cc line. It went out to everyone in the division including the VP.

This kinda stuff. I could read these stories for days.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2016 10:03

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Somewhat on topic with the boss key is this site:

http://cantyouseeimbusy.com/

Some pretty cool games made to look like you are working on spreadsheets, graphs and more. They are actually quite fun too.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2016 05:06

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Buttcoin purse posted:

The Internet Makes You Stupid indeed, I don't understand why I ever found this amusing.

And after all these years, with that tune firmly stuck in people's head, someone thought they could get away with copying it almost completely.

http://teneightymagazine.com/2016/01/24/weebl-calls-nickelodeon-video-a-blatant-copy/

# ¿ Feb 11, 2016 08:33

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Police Automaton posted:

I've got no idea how anyone can do extensive file operations with the standard windows explorer. It looks fancy but completely useless. I can just advise everyone to take a look at any dual-pane file manager. It's an old concept but it just makes so much sense.

I like FreeCommander as a replacement for Explorer and TeraCopy for doing large volume file transfers.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2016 08:56

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Keith Atherton posted:

Thanks for the good info! It worked fine when I carried it all upstairs and turned it on a few years ago. My old Mac II SI wouldn't start up and that was the reason - battery leaked poo poo on the board and killed the circuitry I guess

I hope for your sake it isnt as bad as the above photos. Soldering jumper leads to get past an eaten board sucks.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2016 10:47

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

that space cadet game was actually part of Full Tilt Pinball

its actually higher resolution than the windows one but the same game

idk if it runs on win7-10 but hth.

The Space Cadet table was also on the Games for Windows 95 CD-ROM. And as you can see from below, the backboard was nicer and had wicked music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPLOG3nS3Q8

EDIT: drat, after watching that video I want it again. I loved playing it when slacking off at work. So went and looked for it for win7 and above.

Here you go.

http://www.groovypost.com/howto/windows-7-3d-pinball-space-cadet-game/

Confirmed working.

Humphreys has a new favorite as of 08:28 on Feb 19, 2016

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 08:23

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Dual-processor G4 PowerMac towers were pretty nice and generally friendly to work on, but they used proprietary power supplies which made keeping them going more difficult.

It was usually a bad capacitor on the PSU board. When I started at a production house, on my first day it failed and an hour later I had resoldered a new one in and the bosses saw that I earned my money that week :P

# ¿ Feb 21, 2016 05:01

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

error1 posted:

Just google G5 to ATX conversion, you'll find lots of information and ready-made kits.
I wouldn't do it to a working mac though, fortunately almost all the water cooled high end G5 powermacs sprung a leak after a couple years so there's no shortage of broken ones. I don't think Apple will experiment with water cooling again anytime soon!

http://rknochenmuss.ch/G5leak/G5.html

And thats what caused a lot of the Caps in the PSU to die.. I got really good at fixing them as I posted earlier.

On the talk of business laptops and build quality, these are my two favourites (old and only running Celerons):

Left is my old work HP 6910P. The security (Smartcard and Fingerprint was cool but the fingerprint enroller was buggy as poo poo and would not recognise me half the time.

On the right is my Panasonic Toughbook CF-74. Not as fancy or rugged as some other models, but I have definitely abused it. Ran over it in my car by accident.

Humphreys has a new favorite as of 08:54 on Feb 22, 2016

# ¿ Feb 22, 2016 08:43

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Iron Prince posted:

how in the gently caress does your laptop possibly get into being run over by your own personal vehicle? how inattentive could you possibly be?

Late night drunken CANBUS work, giving up and going to bed, then in a rush the following morning forgetting where i had placed it.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2016 11:27

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

I've heard in other threads and from some friends in the US about how the mobile system works a little but I'm confused on a few aspects.

If someone calls YOU, do YOU get charged minutes too?

Do mobile phones have the same prefix country wide?

Is there nationwide flatrate mobile to moblie call rates or is it a local/long distance type arrangement too?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 08:39

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Thanks for the replies, it did clear some stuff up.

Here in Australia you can have a prepaid phone with no credit on it and have it as a 'receive calls only' type thing - good for contacting your ~~kids~~ drug dealer. Couple that with payphones that allow you to dial any number without inserting coins for those 'call me back' situations.

I'm in my 30s and still have a prepaid account for the flexibility and we get some OK rates. $30 a month gives me more call and data than I use and I can also send credit to other numbers if I have excess at the end of the month (I send all left over credit to my grandma so she doesn't have to spend more of her lovely pension on being contactable).

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 10:38

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Buttcoin purse posted:

Are you saying that if you don't insert coins, it'll still ring on the other end and you can hang up after 2 rings so they know "oh that's Humphreys's secret code, I'd better ca'll back", or can you talk for a few seconds before you need to insert coins?

If you were quick you could get 'mum pick me up' out before it disconnected.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 12:29

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

feedmegin posted:

I think by prefix he means the 3 digits after +1, not the international prefix. Also population doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how long numbers are; British phone numbers are 11 digits (the first of which is always 0, granted), and we're like 1/6th the population of the US. Landline numbers have geographical area codes but mobile phone numbers don't - they all start with 07<something> and aren't tied to any particular location.

Correct. I do not mean international code prefix. For me if I wanted to dial a mobile phone in full that was in the country (no matter which country i was in) I would dial +61 (australia) 4xx xxx xxx. Locally I would dial 04xx xxx xxx. The 04 country wide is way of knowing whatever phone you are dialing is a mobile, not land line, think of it as an area code specific for mobile. each state here has a differrent 0x prefix.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:26

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Mad Monk posted:

George Plimpton hawking Intelevison.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD9GySeh2t4

Reminded me of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f3524BQ0Ms

Humphreys has a new favorite as of 16:41 on Feb 26, 2016

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:46

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Before I get this post back on topic of internet relics, who here can actually remember 5 different peoples phone number? I struggle remembering my own landline (needed for ADSL) let alone current friends' numbers.

On internet relics, I remember a fun site something like 'spark' or 'the spark' that was maybe like cracked that had articles on various random poo poo. I recall articles called "The stinky foot project" and "Stinky Meat"

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 17:01

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

In the late 90s Australia had to add 2 more numbers after the state prefix. That caused a major uproar for businesses that HAD to change their number on all advertising and media. I know my dad was especially pissed off because his nicely pinstriped business artwork on his trucks didn't really work with adding 2 more numbers (circular logo with phone number on the bottom curve - essentially meant that he had to get everything redone). Other companies were lucky and for a few years you would see stickers with xx number pasted to the front of billboards and signs.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2016 08:59

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

evobatman posted:

A decent business computer like a Dell Optiplex or Precision typically doesn't need a screwdriver for harddrives, expansion cards, drives and other parts. The only parts that need a screwdriver are the motherboard and PSU.

I'm sure that due to the amount of times 'the new guy' doing work in the server room would lose a screw in a cabinet and find it shorting something out later.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2016 08:25

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

error1 posted:

I would not get a Titanium powerbook, the fan in those is annoyingly loud. It's a shame because the rest of the machine looks and feels really nice (apart from the paint chipping)

For retro mac gaming I would consider an old iBook, they are more than powerful enough and fairly quiet. The older models are completely fanless,even! I have a white iBook G3/500 and a bondi clamshell G3 that is 250mhz or something. Most of the games of the 90s were made to run on anything from 33mhz to 200mhz so any of these laptops will do just fine.

I got a titanium for free a few years ago - only problem is that one of the hinges is broken. I thought it would be an easy fix, nope! The part that broke was the main chassis side - and to be honest - my fix was using the apple sticker to try and at least keep it roughly in its right position.

- I really should dig it out of my cupboard. I do like the titaniums, and if memory serves me - there was a long lost unfinished Eclipse project on it that I wouldn't mind looking back on.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2016 12:43

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Yup. My NEC Versa P440 had that desktop P4 from memory. It was power hungry and loved to overheat. At one LAN party I was given a random timber offcut to raise the back so it wouldn't overheat. That piece of wood served be well for many laptops over the years.