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dad gay. so what posted:the political discourse in this country is so loving worthless I, for one, have a nuanced opinion on the subject I wish to share, but first I need you to gently caress me, daddy.
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Jan 27, 2016 04:23
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My favorite thing about this whole idiotic affair is that soon a federal agent will be leaving that bird sanctuary carrying a box labeled "evidence" that's just bursting at the seams with dildos.
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Jan 27, 2016 05:16
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Hoping they dig a huge hole, get in, then realize their fat asses don't have ladders and they die like SIMS.
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Jan 27, 2016 19:27
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InterFaced posted:Since all the patriots have since proven themselves to be terminally stupid and/or cowardly if any of you guys are still reading this thread I'd like to say lol, gently caress you. Shocking that so many people could accurately predict that a group of gun nut secessionist retards wouldn't turn out to be brilliant philosophers or tactful negotiators with eloquent points on modernizing the interaction between citizen and government. It's like liberals have some kind of secret future seeing sorcery magic or something.
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Jan 29, 2016 15:30
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The FBI should just bring in a fire engine with a boom.
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Jan 29, 2016 17:54
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So the Bundy retards are paying the people of Oregon back for the $100,000 a day this cost, right? Haha, just kidding. We the people are just going to keep footing these welfare queens' bills.
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Jan 29, 2016 18:40
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waitwhatno posted:so, is Tarpy ok? with goons being all sarcastic and making jokes, i can't tell anymore Dude got smoked by a beat cop, not even some special forces federal agent dude, while bumbling for his gun because he was cross-drawing like an idiot. VikingSkull posted:gently caress that I'm praying for summary execution Love that these dudes all "wanna go back to the good ol' days" which is a time where we would have already burned the place down and whoever ran out would be shot and the survivors hanged.
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Jan 29, 2016 19:26
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"I need my gun so I can fight the evil gubinmint!" *finally gets his chance* *tries to crossdraw while fumbling with gloves in the snow* *gets his poo poo wrecked by Paul Blart*
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Jan 29, 2016 19:34
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theultimo posted:Reminder COL SEALED RECORDS RONALD REAGAN I need a nap. I saw the 05/06/1970 time stamp and was like "that's really good quality for 1970".
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Jan 29, 2016 19:46
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VikingSkull posted:like I said earlier in this thread, if you're in the future and reading this in the archives, first hello from 2016 and also these aren't joke shitposts, we are reporting facts as they happened with a straight face 100% serious post: - 2 idiots poaching on federal land try to hide the evidence by starting a fire - to hide the evidence they started the fire, they then try to murder firefighters by making the fire bigger - crazy gun nuts hear this and go to Oregon to stand up for the rights of poachers who attempt to kill firefighters - the crazy gun nuts took over a federal building (a bird watching station) - the internet coins the terms Yokel Haram, Y'all Qaeda, Yeehawdists, etc. to mock them - Doomsday Preppers that make a living by working the land and fancying themselves to be survivalists realize they forgot to bring food to their revolution - they begged for food on live tv - PETA replied by sending them vegan jerky - the internet replied by sending them dildos, a 55 gallon drum of lube, and the sugar-free gummi bears that make you poo poo yourself inside out - not much happened for a while - thousands of people who insist you shouldn't gently caress with them because "a revolution is coming" admit they can't attend the revolution because they have bills to pay and can't get out of work - several guys say they'd love to help overthrow the god damned socialist government but can't because the god drat socialist government hasn't sent them their disability check yet - 6 were arrested by police as they left the surrounded building to go get snacks - the ringleader, Ammon Bundy, is arrested because he was invited to come meet a neighboring county's sheriff that said he was sympathetic to their cause. When he left, the world's most obvious trap was sprung. - Tarp Dude, author of a book about a badass quickdraw gunfighter and doomsday prepper, spends his final days wondering why he didn't bring food. In a showdown with police he bumbled like Jerry Lewis trying to get his gun out of the holster and was annihilated by a slow-moving chubby state trooper. - as of this writing 4 yeehawdists remain in Fort Dildo - their opening negotiation with the FBI was "we'll stop breaking laws if you pardon us for breaking laws"
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Jan 29, 2016 22:43
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You can see on this silent video he's saying "he shot me".
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Jan 30, 2016 00:30
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Epic High Five posted:HAHAHA Average_Republican_Voter.txt
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Jan 30, 2016 14:29
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Binary Badger posted:Program a Predator to torch any tarps problem solved The tarps are innocent in all this and I hope in the end they're the only survivors.
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Jan 30, 2016 18:00
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VikingSkull posted:The Tarptheon In a Xanatarp did LaVoy Finicum a stately freedom-dome decree. Where Dildos, with suction cup sack, ran Through caverns measureless to man Like a colonoscopy. So twice five miles of fertile ground With tarps and coolers were girdled round; And there were trenches bright with sinuous rills, Where blossomed a pile of trash and strewn debris; And here were forests ancient as the hills, Enfolding sunny spots of Liberty.
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Jan 31, 2016 02:25
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Same for Illinois/Chicago. Similarly, Maryland is, by land mass, 90% equestrian horse farms owned by some of the ultra-wealthiest republicans in America. But the other 10% of Maryland's land mass is Baltimore, which is like 80% of the population and aggressively liberal.
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Jan 31, 2016 07:14
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VikingSkull posted:he also earned a trip to the Witness Protection Program once his name is released and the crazies pin Lavoy's "murder" on him The very same crazies who go to gun shows and pay George Zimmerman to autograph their guns, no less.
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Jan 31, 2016 16:18
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I'm gonna go get the papers get the papers
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Jan 31, 2016 18:42
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lmbo
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Jan 31, 2016 19:31
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Darth123123 posted:So I know the tarp has reached meme status, but he didn't have a tarp when he was shot? At least I didn't see it on video. What's with the loving ta p? The beginning: Lutha Mahtin posted:finicum was interviewed by msnbc while sitting by himself, in the cold, at night, under a bright blue tarp A grown man vowing to destroy the federal government made a loving blanket fort out of a tarp. The internet made jokes.  Then he tried to shoot at police and Jerry Lewis-ed while bumbling for his gun. And more tarp jokes came out. InterFaced posted:I love what you did here. I just thought it could use a little personalization. be free tarp ghost. Also, reposting for stragglers: A GLISTENING HODOR posted:100% serious post:
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Jan 31, 2016 21:58
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Darth123123 posted:Thanks for the tarplapedia goons. Tarp be upon you, brother.
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Feb 1, 2016 00:43
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Mido posted:going to start a kickstarter to make Tarplandia: The Bundy Story series a reality Just imagine Jack McBrayer (Ken the Page from 30 Rock) and Kathy Kinney (Mimi from the Drew Carey Show) as the weirdo couple that is using hundreds of dollars a day in Verizon 3G data broadcasting their insane thoughts to the world.
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Feb 1, 2016 02:46
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:I love how their "call to action" is for a "rolling protest", specifying that the true patriots don't need to bother getting out of their cars, leaving their big gulp out of reach, and marching. 
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Feb 1, 2016 18:43
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cumshitter posted:i would give up my freedom and live in a 1984-esque one party autocratic state just to spite the militia supporters. their dumbshit protest is having the exact opposite effect and i now lust for fascistic oppression. The irony here is fascism comes from people like them whose idea of "freedom" is women having no rights, gays beheaded, and everyone who isn't white deported or kept in chains. The American right wing is incredibly silly.
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Feb 1, 2016 19:30
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All those counter-terrorists and not one of them trolling the crackpots with a bloody tarp.
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Feb 1, 2016 21:17
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Dear FBI, Not one "patriot" can be bothered to have their nurse logroll them onto their rascal scooter so they can join the fight. If you just go to Nevada and snipe Cliven Bundy, the self proclaimed leader of a terrorist organization, there won't be any fallout for you to deal with. But please capture that poo poo on a Phantom IMAX camera when you do. I want to see that poo poo in 8K 3D with surround sound. Hugs and kisses, AGH [notary stamp]
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Feb 2, 2016 16:55
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Why isn't the FBI blasting Erasure - "Always" at them on repeat? 90s anti-terrorist tactics were so much cooler.
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Feb 2, 2016 17:45
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The FBI cut off the power and water, but joke's on them. The Bundy Bunch found a naturally occurring hot spring. 
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Feb 2, 2016 23:31
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Civil Forfeiture of Bundy's cows would be so delicious I'd pay kobe beef prices.
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Feb 3, 2016 02:49
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Lord of Pie posted:Flight of the dildo drones LOL I was just looking for that. Time to break the police barricade and deliver some freedom supplies. 
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Feb 6, 2016 05:28
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LMAO if family members aren't constantly removing dildos from Tarp Man's grave site.
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Feb 6, 2016 05:32
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Darth123123 posted:That wasn't funny or worth the load time I'm on 4g and it took a second to load. What, are you out of data in the middle of an Oregon bird sanctuary or something?
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Feb 6, 2016 05:35
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Yo, is today the lucky day where the feds paint the ground with these idiots' childhood memories?
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Feb 6, 2016 16:30
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108 new posts in a few minutes. Is this it? Should I break out the super bowl leftovers and a brewski?
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Feb 11, 2016 03:46
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XMNN posted:hold off 5 mins fbi im sparking up
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Feb 11, 2016 03:46
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You have a right to defend yourself after committing a hojillion felonies and costing taxpayers millions. II Corinthians 2:34-35
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Feb 11, 2016 03:53
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"We gonna teach the world the constitution" Wanna sit front row at dat class. 
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Feb 11, 2016 03:57
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World's Best Negotiator: You can arrest me but only if I can take my guns to prison.
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Feb 11, 2016 04:01
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SHOTGUN PUMPED!!!!!! 
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Feb 11, 2016 04:02
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:SHOTGUN PUMPED!!!!!! HOMEBOY IS loving LOSING IT
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Feb 11, 2016 04:04
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gently caress hoverboards. The future is fat retards vlogging themselves getting smoked by the FBI for capital squatting.
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Feb 11, 2016 04:17
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