Comic Book Movie Megathread: Bubble? What bubble?

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Comic Book Movie Megathread: Bubble? What bubble?

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Shazam had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cave and he told me his secret. 'I am not Captain Marvel' he said. 'My name is Billy; I inherited the power from the previous Captain Marvel, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Captain Marvel either. His name was Fawcett. The real Captain Marvel has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

# ¿ Mar 2, 2016 18:02

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 15:08

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

I can't wait until someone makes a superhero movie that actually is grim, dark, and gritty.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2016 04:40

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Semper Fudge posted:

lol that Spider-Man suit literally looks like it's out of a Target clearance section.

For real, that might actually look worse than the one in the first movie, the one made 14 years ago.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 18:16

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Dacap posted:

I feel like that can be chalked up to unfinished CG

I feel like every time we do that it comes back and punches us in the collective dick.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 18:18

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

I actually kind of like how Spider-man is a bit wonky on the landing. Also that suit looks better when you can actually see the details and it's not What If Spider-man Was In Color.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2016 07:43

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

I kind of wish we'd been able to get the scene from the Deadpool script where he makes his first mask by turning a Spider-man mask inside out.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2016 07:45

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Boob Marley posted:

1.) The MCU sucks and is bullshit because its fun and any idiot can enjoy it.
2.) Man of Steel is top level cinema because it just looks so cinematic, you know, like a movie, and it stimulates your intellect by forcing you to think of increasingly convoluted reasons for why you like because Dark Knight is the poo poo, gently caress you Marvel, you don't know about blowing up cities like we do, DC gets it!

Hahahaha well when you get your next vacation maybe you can use it to wash the sand out of all your crevices.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2016 05:56

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Comic book movies are p cool, except when they're poop.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2016 06:03

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Boob Marley posted:

I love knowing that while BvS is in theaters so many of you will be white-knuckling it through every line of cliche, contrived dialogue, and every moment of awkwardly forced tension doing mental gymnastics to convince yourself that it is great.

You seem real het up about this whole ~~console~~ "cinematic universe" war.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2016 15:55

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

feedmyleg posted:

e: I mean, people really got excited about a superhero film with a sword-wielding protagonist who doesn't take anything seriously and constantly breaks the fourth wall in 2016 with Deadpool. Secret of the Ooze did all that before it was cool.

Well yeah but it also did all that without being good.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 16:44

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Tezzor posted:

Yeah Sad Scene #451 was my favorite part of the movie too. When I go to the Superman movie what I want is to be alternatively depressed, bored and disturbed. My only quibble was that visionary director Zach Snyder didn't include his signature epic slow mo rape scene

lol now do one about how some movies are steak and some movies are mcdonalds

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 03:51

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Tezzor posted:

What I'm hoping for the sequel is more yelling of every line and for Doomsday to be imagined as a weird ethnic drag queen whose multicultural Oriental army is defeated by the forces of the eugenicist white ubermensch

It's OK if you got a little chub during 300, no one is going to judge you.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 03:52

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

btw i wholeheartedly recommend checking out tezzor's recent rap sheet, he is a man dedicated to his rage that some people like movies he doesn't and by christ is he going to tell you all about it.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 04:57

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Martman posted:

Can someone make a chart of frequent CineD posters ranking them by their ratio of probations/bans to posts? Then we can finally find out who is right about movies.

I prefer to judge posters not by the length of their rap sheets, but by the content of their probation/banning shitposts.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2016 06:38

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Did I miss her or was Jubilee not in that trailer at all?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2016 16:33

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Mordiceius posted:

The Lego movie wasn't funny. Like, at all.

RIP your ability to feel things

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 04:10

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

There have already been, what, nine Batman movies, along with at least two more on the way if you count BvS, even more if Justice League qualifies, but clearly Lego Batman is just too much.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 04:26

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

wyoming posted:

Sorry you've replaced feelings with crass consumerism.

You realize what this thread is, right?

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 05:27

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Detective No. 27 posted:

The least effective phallus dentata.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 07:40

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Hat Thoughts posted:

Hell yes, I love the #win moment when they bond over all the #Lego products he owns and all the #innovative and #fun ways they can be played with.

What was life like growing up with entirely handmade, homemade toys?

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 10:59

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

soapgish posted:

Bad children's humor and ugly, jittery animation the bulk of which was built around not characters but brands? Yeah, I would be shocked if any hoi polloi didn't like it.

You never actually saw Lego Movie did you.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 16:06

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

soapgish posted:

Batman is Batman is Batman and you know Batman

Except that Lego Movie Batman was very obviously poking fun at Batman Batman. Like so obviously that literal children got it. Tiny little actual manlets barely past understanding that things that are behind them still exist were able to catch that.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 19:04

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Mordiceius posted:

My wife and I both extremely disliked the Lego movie. I think it might just be that Lord and Miller's humor just doesn't land for us. It was the only movie where I've ever actually considered walking out of the theater. I didn't because I thought my wife was enjoying the film but when we discussed it after it was over, she said she had the same thoughts as me.

I guess I just have very limited tastes when it comes to comedies and that didn't do anything for me. The whole movie felt like every joke was LOOK OUT WACKY WE ARE! ISNT IT FUNNY THAT WE ARE SO WACKY!? WOW!

Yeah that sounds totally fine, tastes are tastes. Soapgish's arguments sound like they're aimed at a completely different movie though. Like I think they accidentally bought the Brazilian CGI knockoff from the supermarket.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2016 19:43

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Cythereal posted:

On the subject of a new and exciting pointless slapfight, press reviews of BvS are starting to roll in, and they're not positive.

Frankly I'm not surprised. Even if the movie is good there's a lot of people with a lot of energy and words invested in having already decided it's bad.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 12:13

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Tezcatlipoca posted:

That doesn't mean it isn't happening.

Alternatively who gives a poo poo?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 13:56

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Tezcatlipoca posted:

God forbid we notice a thing that is happening.

Beyond noticing, what's the point? Why should anyone care that the costumes in the movie look like Mass Effect outfits?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 17:00

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Tezcatlipoca posted:

You seem greatly invested in this.

Yeah I'm super invested, that's why the extent of my posts has been "who cares" and "why should I care", I'm clearly frothing over it.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 18:01

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Deakul posted:

Haha, not a loving chance.

Cara Delevingne looks like a man undergoing hormone therapy.

You have a lot of experience with transitioning men?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2016 05:00

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

The MSJ posted:

New X-Men costume photo.

Jubilee is definitely going to die, right?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2016 13:27

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Are we still not spoiler tagging BvS poo poo or can I go back to the past couple of pages I skipped safely?

# ¿ Mar 27, 2016 04:59

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

CelticPredator posted:

I'm not asking this in a story logic sense, but what should they do with a terrorist who blew up a bit of New York? Killing them doesn't sit right with you, and fair enough...but what next?

That remains a good question today:

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 06:21

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Not everything needs an explicit origin story. What motivated Darth Vader in Episode 4?

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 07:47

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Boob Marley posted:

Money doesn't matter.
Only opinions matter.
Not our opinions though.
The opinions of critics.
And people who upvote star-ratings on IMDB years before the release of movies.

...but not even the 11,000 premature IMDB votes that placed BvS at 9.7 stars months ahead of its release could skew it hard enough to survive the harsh reality of its own awfulness.

There is no war between Marvel and DC studios. There is no throne. There is no scenario here where DC "wins".
When it comes down to making good movies, Marvel has no quarrel with DC. Just as a boot has no quarrel with an ant.

You are my second favorite poster in here now.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 16:50

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Vintersorg posted:

So you enjoyed the what, 4 or 5 reused dungeon layouts? The watered down combat? The poo poo story?

"poo poo story" is basically one of the fundamental elements of 99.9% of video games though.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 05:48

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Hollismason posted:

People here hating on Spawn is ridiculous you know you loving loved that movie when you saw it in the theaters, don't be all " Oh I always thought it was poo poo".

I was a huge Spawn fan in the early/mid 90s.

That movie has always been trash. Even when it was new.

I did like Leguizamo's Clown though. But I was an idiot 18 year old, so yeah.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 05:13

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Rough Lobster posted:

How is this better than the Green Lantern mask?

If you're saying it's on par with that mask, that's way more of a slam on Green Lantern than it is on Spawn considering the latter was made a decade and a half earlier.

It's not great, obviously, but it's not that bad either. Especially considering the effects in the rest of that film.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 08:41

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Daveski posted:

I rarely see movies in a theater more than once (new releases I mean, screenings of older films is a different thing). The only one I've seen twice recently is, embarrassingly, Age of Ultron.

Yeah for me the most recent one I doubled up on was Avengers, primarily to try and figure out why I disliked it so much the first time when my friends enjoyed it.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 03:07

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

wyoming posted:

"Wheeee I'm an airplane! Wooooooooosh! Vrrrrrrm!"

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 11:59

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:

Everyone name a movie you've watched more than twenty times that wasn't something constantly on TV like Just One Of The Guys.

Maybe the original Transformers movie, when I was between 6 and 10 years old. I think the movie I've seen the most as something close to an adult might be Road Trip, because in college my friends and I would make the mistake of getting high before renting a DVD. Also Road Trip is eminently forgettable.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2016 15:09

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 15:08

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Rough Lobster posted:

Flabby baby-face Stretch Armstrong Hulk with his neon purple pants, ridiculous Hulk poodle who explodes into green mist, and the awful attempts at comic-book-like transitions were all deliberate choices by the director. The were also mistakes in the same way that platypuses and gingko tree berries are mistakes by God. They were purposefully designed but are so hideous and absurd that they should have never existed.

As I said before the only things the movie have going for it are Nick Nolte playing a crazy old person (himself) and Jennifer Connelly, whose incredibly beauty is enough to slay any devil and redeem any sinner.

Hey guy, gently caress you.

Platypuses are awesome.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 12:30

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