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Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

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Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Pretty sure this is just a White Castle cheeseburger? I mean they aren't meant for humans that aren't drunk or college kids or... drunk college kids, but it looks normal to me!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Pham Nuwen posted:

These are surprisingly tasty if you make them like a normal person, using pickle spears (not a whole pickle, Christ) and a thinner layer of cream cheese. Use the square ham too, it rolls up better.

You are right in every way. I made these for my British wife and she wouldn't even try them. I think she thinks I invented them in a fever dream. Ham, cream cheese, and pickles in bread make for a mighty fine sandwich as well!

e: Content

Crust First has a new favorite as of 20:53 on May 15, 2016

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.



Edit: timg + url = not easy to click.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Sakurazuka posted:

Reminder that Dominos/Papa Johns is seen as 'fancy' pizza in the UK and is about twice the price of your average takeaway.

All the pizza chains in the UK are outrageously priced. If you can't get a 2 for 1 coupon or something, it's never even close to worth it; even with the coupon it's questionable.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

chitoryu12 posted:

I can't believe this is something that actually occurred, but a judge ruled that a burrito is legally not a sandwich.

Long story short, a Panera tried to sue to keep a Qdoba from opening in the same plaza, citing a non-compete clause in their lease banning any other sandwich shops. Culinary experts were brought in, and the judge decided that a sandwich legally requires two pieces of bread with the filling between them. Anything made with a single tortilla wrapped around filling (like burritos, tacos, and quesadillas) is not a sandwich.

So....sandwich rules?

Doesn't this make hot dogs not a sandwich? Hot dog buns are a single piece of bread! My world is falling apart!

Also I make my quesadillas with two tortillas, one on top, one on the bottom. My quesadillas are a sandwich.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

left_unattended posted:

Newest thing in KFC Thailand apparently.



This is weird because I thought that people in Thailand ate both pizza and KFC with knives and forks.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

This is a children's plate. This has got to be a children's plate. Someone please tell me this was eaten by a six-year old?

That's way too spicy for a child! Plus my little Bobby doesn't like his food to touch, and he certainly wouldn't accept those... bits in his smashed topaters!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

mng posted:

I wish I had a festive mug like that.

I have one, got it as a gift from my sister; I've never used it because it's so covered in nooks and crannies that I feel it could never be cleaned if it got dirty.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
For those not familiar (I had never heard of it before I moved to the UK) Quorn has nothing to do with Corn:



To quote wikipedia:

"All Quorn foods contain mycoprotein as an ingredient, which is derived from the Fusarium venenatum fungus and is grown by fermentation using a process that has been described as similar to the production of beer or yogurt. The fungi culture is dried and mixed with egg albumen, which acts as a binder, and then is adjusted in texture and pressed into various forms."

Yum!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I eat my hot dogs in these Milk Brioche Rolls and it is fancy as gently caress. Also tasty.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
A better hot dog question. Are people who cut the bun down through the top rather than across the middle hitler, or mega hitler?

Yes I would like a really oddly short bun that doesn't hinge open very well at all and can't hold any kind of toppings securely, thank you! Maybe you can also cut the hot dog into long strips and wrap them around the outside of the bun while we're just throwing any kind of sense out the window!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

PCOS Bill posted:

Stop caring about hot dogs so much

We are clearly talking about buns now though?

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Brawnfire posted:

Do you mean New England style hot dog buns?

Possibly! I've never been to New England but in Old England I've found the top down cut style to be disturbingly present. Along with hot dogs in brine filled glass jars, or cans.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
No pizza rules.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

cash crab posted:



bon ape tit

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
They ate it with a tactical spork that they carry with them.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

freelop posted:

I had the chipotle flavour of this.
It was not a good experience.

Jesus Christ yes these are like, I don't even know, a war crime? I don't know how someone hosed up mac & cheese so bad but I wouldn't even feed it to my dog, or a dog I hated. You think "Oh it's some kind of fancy easy mac" and you're gonna add some water to some powder and wow reconstitution but instead there's some kind of clay inside with noodles that are thick and angry, and then after you take it out of the microwave there's a filmy sheen over everything, even your soul, and you long for the sweet embrace of death.

Wish I had taken some pics before I threw it away.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

The Snoo posted:

good god this is dry

e: oh there's cheese whiz

Um what, that's clearly Easy Cheese, look at the striations down the side of the cheese tubule. Gosh.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Grand Fromage posted:

IBC, fuckers.

Also great cream soda. I miss root beer and cream soda. The UK is a wasteland. What the gently caress is a dandelion and burdock, and sarsaparilla isn't root beer! Ugh.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

What is even going on here? Is this a metaphor? You can't eat metaphors.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I'd accept that open face tacos were pizza but based on this list of taco rules I have over here, open faced tacos don't exist. It's just a taco somebody dropped. Is this like, pizza transubstantiation?

Edit: Oh no a new page.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

M_Sinistrari posted:

The sort of people who would buy this are the middle class moms who think that because it was "made by a mommy" then it has to be just the thing for kids and is automatically better than anything produced by a cheesemaker or similar expert because only a mom knows this poo poo instinctively.

Yeah, made by a mommy who just happens to be president of a food marketing & sales firm. Somehow "made by a marketing director" doesn't have the same ring.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Vote me in as Pizza Prez and I will end these pizza degenerates. I will build such a byootiful wall of crust, filled with great cheese, and it will be tremendous and great. I won't allow any disgusting, crooked toppings on our great pizzas, that I can tell you, I'm here to tell you that. You want pineapple on your pizza? Sad!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Plinkey posted:

I'm too tried from traveling but wtf rolled stromboli dude. Those are called pizza rolls and usually cut into ~2 inch slices like pizza sushi.

What?



These are pizza rolls? I dunno what you're describing.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
That's just like a gross thing in the UK!



Bovril is the trademarked name of a thick, salty meat extract, developed in the 1870s by John Lawson Johnston.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Nice chicken mold, dillweed!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Away all Goats posted:


Someone's attempt at chocolate chip cookies

why is there macaroni or pasta shells or something in it? also why everything else?

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

angerbeet posted:

Who likes their pizza extra wet? Pressure cooker pizza!

https://gfycat.com/ComposedIdealisticHare

(sorry I have no idea how to link webm and not make them super huge)

My favorite part of this is at the end, they put the pizza on a cutting board next to a pizza cutter, and then use a knife to randomly chop an off center slice out of the pizza?!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

OwlFancier posted:

I don't think we have circus peanuts in the UK and I've never seen a real one so I thought there was just some weird tradition of eating peanuts at the circus.

E: Also apparently candy corn isn't corn with sugar on it! Mind blown.

I think the equivalent of circus peanuts in the UK is shrimp and bananas.



Also candy corn is both loose corn and bad.

edit: Actually maybe shrimp and bananas isn't marshmallow-y? I thought I'd seen some that were, once.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

The Ferret King posted:

It looks a lot thicker, denser, and stickier, than your words suggest.

That's no mousse.

It's a sandwich spread, like peanut butter, except made of candy.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

twoday posted:

Human Chow: Pellets for People, by People, of People totally not People

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
Hot Dogs! Hot Dogs Here!
You sir, you look like the sort who enjoys a fine hot dog now and again.
Do you prefer canned or jarred?
z

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
Apple Mint Drink

Yes I'm sure everyone drinks apple mint drinks where you live, but I'd never encountered it before.
I expected it to taste like drinking apple juice after brushing your teeth, which it didn't, but it wasn't really... better, just different.
Like what if you could taste apple juice and COOL FRESH MINT™ at the same time? I don't know why you'd want to, but you can!

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I haven't had a Tombstone pizza since moving to the UK and I miss them. Get a sausage and pepperoni one, add extra pepperoni, cook, go to town.

It's been a huge pain in the rear end finding a decent "pop in the oven" pizza here; in my opinion, most of them are weird and tasteless and soggy or they have crust like 2 inches thick for some reason. Anything calling itself a "deep pan" pizza is just a loaf of bread with some cheese sprinkled on top. Also there's a frozen stuffed crust pizza where the crust is stuffed with pizza sauce?

Aldi make the best frozen pizzas I've found out here. Carlos brand. Super tasty.

Now you know.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I used to eat grapefruit as a kid, for breakfast, cut in half, with sugar sprinkled on. A lot of sugar. Maybe too much sugar.

One day we didn't have any sugar, only artificial sweetener. Didn't stop me, no sir. Pile that sweet n low high until you can't see any actual grapefruit anymore. Dig a spoon in, take a bite...

Never ate grapefruit again.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I ordered room service carbonara in a hotel once. I'm not sure exactly what was or wasn't in it, because it was a bowl of spaghetti noodles drowned in some kind of thin white sauce. It looked like a bowl of skim milk and overcooked noodle shaped mush. I went to bed sad and hungry.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Scathach posted:

If that's all chese and pepperoni I'm in

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Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.
I'm an American living in the UK and you can find those "American style" hot dogs in like, ALDI and a few other places quite easily. They come both in jars and in cans! I don't know why.

quote:

Cooking Guidelines
Hob - From Ambient: Empty hot dogs including brine into a sauce pan and heat gently for about 5 minutes.

I had one from a jar once. The meat was... smooth? Really, really smooth. And squishy? Smoother and squishier than a meat product should be.

I've only been able to get an actual hot dog by buying specifically "frankfurters", and haven't yet seen any all beef ones although supposedly they exist.

Also, cookie butter is real and strong and he's my friend.

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