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atholbrose posted:Trip report: Angriest Whopper Looks way better than I thought it would. Thanks for taking one for the team 
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Apr 1, 2016 21:49
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Mayo + fruit is the baseline formula for a ton of Midwest-style fruit salads, but I understand that the combination might be weird to someone who didn't grow up in America's blandest foodscape.
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Apr 6, 2016 14:37
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Thought for sure I had a winner, but alas 
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Apr 11, 2016 17:18
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nerdz posted:This was made by a masterchef competitor in brazil. No, she did not win the round. I could see this happening if one of the actual competitors dropped out and they pulled some random fan from amongst the spectators to take his or her place. "I'm not gonna win anyway, so I'ma make the silliest poo poo I can think of"
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Apr 12, 2016 13:33
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SC Bracer posted:
I need a trip report stat. I want to know how to make the time-consuming, difficult process of dropping ramen into water and waiting two minutes easier
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Apr 12, 2016 20:40
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:But even I have to say that store-brand soda is the absolute worst. Are you shittalking Super Chill®, motherfucker?  cash crab posted:Also: PC Mac and Cheese is different than Kraft. Because it's better. It's loving delicious and it's like $0.60 a box. Mmm. If you ever go to Canada, buy some. I like PC Mac and Cheese but it's a pain the rear end to get the display resolution just right on a widescreen monitor.
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Apr 13, 2016 15:41
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Scathach posted:Pictured below: blueberry muffin soup Wrong thread. That looks amazing and I'd probably shank one of you to get my hands on a bowl of this. TheKennedys posted:Look at all you motherfuckers who are from Not Texas and haven't experienced the glory of HEB. 'sup Texas buddy   H-E-B owns bones, but other regions have their own versions of it! Up in the Midwest, they have a price premium grocer called Hy-Vee that bends over backwards to make you come back. They've got a giant-rear end take-out or dine-in salad bar, a separate giant-rear end buffet with everything from Chinese to pizza to made-from-scratch hickory-smoked BBQ, and few people know this but you can actually call customer service, place an order, and pay a small fee to have them deliver your dinner and your groceries right to your house. Seriously, you just say "hey I want a salad from the salad bar, put the following on it, a bucket of fried chicken, and a #3 from the chinese menu, now here is my grocery order" and that poo poo shows up at your door. (I used to work at one, and it's one of the few places that I've sincerely loved working at)
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Apr 14, 2016 14:19
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Apr 15, 2016 13:33
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Tasteful Dickpic posted:I have some sauerkraut that needs eating. I might try a Crash Cab for supper and do a trip report. A King's Hawaiian dinner roll. Dickpic eat the sauerkraut
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Apr 18, 2016 14:13
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Tasteful Dickpic posted:Trip Report: The ”Cash Crab”  Props for your commitment to the project. Sorry you couldn't find any Hawaiian rolls, but your makeshift replacement seemed to work just fine. also the use of brioche is killing me
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Apr 18, 2016 18:29
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Kilo147 posted:My school lunches were never that bad. Jesus, where is that, the deep south? Couple of those are picture-perfect rural poverty lunches in the Midwest. This one stands out as particularly similar to lunch on a good day:  Our fruit would've been ladled unceremoniously from one of those enormous cans, though, and they would've saved money by not giving us mustard.  What's happened here is they'd planned on tomato soup and grilled cheese and ran out of bread mid-week, which happened a few times a month.  That's chickencheese, you dolt. Would've killed for one back then. Kids these days  also lol at kids only taking one or two items and posting a photo of the lunch online as if that's all they were served that day
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Apr 19, 2016 13:49
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deadly_pudding posted:What's your favorite lovely frozen food?  These aren't allowed in the house anymore. I am 100% certain I would kill myself if allowed unlimited access to these goddamn things. 540 calories and 1,000 mg of sodium. But they're so good  Every time I walk by the freezer case at the grocery store, I stare longingly at them like a recovering alcoholic walking by a liquor store. I know I shouldn't, but just one little bite wouldn't hurt, right?
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Apr 19, 2016 14:58
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some of you are bored of trip reports, so there's a surprise for you at the end if you make it all the way through this one, ya negative nancies TRIP REPORT: The Wendy's JALAPEÑO FRESCO SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH Here's how the description on the official corporate website reads: Dave Thomas's Ghost posted:We're kicking up the heat with 5 layers of spice on our new Jalapeño Fresco Spicy Chicken sandwich. It's our classic spicy chicken breast topped with fresh, diced jalapeños, ghost pepper sauce, Colby pepper jack cheese all on a red jalapeno bun. It's too hot to last, so try one today! Okay, I'm a huge fan of spicy stuff. Love it. So, naturally, I was excited to see the sign at the Wendy's up the street change from "ALL DRINK'S 1$" to "JALAPENO FЯESCO CHICKEN SANDWICH GHOST PEPPER FRIES." I was also excited that they'd managed to pluralize "fries" correctly, and to be honest, I found the backwards R kind of endearing. Five layers of spice? Goodness, that sounds like a lot of spice. Jalapeños are delicious, and I've admittedly never tried a ghost pepper, but they're supposed to be legendary for their spiciness. I honestly didn't know what to expect from the Ghost Pepper Fries--I was thinking maybe they had some kind of pepper-infused breading on them?  The "red" in "Red Jalapeño Bun" must refer to a red variety of red jalapeños baked into it. I was kind of sad that it wasn't as brilliantly fire truck red as the Angriest Whopper from the trip report earlier. But then I noticed that hey, they'd been generous with the jalapeños on the fries, so all was well...  ...until I took a bite. I know my task here is to evaluate the sandwich on its merits as a recipe rather than as an individual sandwich, but the chicken was really friggin' dry and stringy and had big chunks of gristle throughout, so my opinion might be colored a bit by my bad chicken experience. Let's start with the Ghost Pepper Sauce. It's a strange, way-too-orange goo that gets all over everything and stains instantly. I tried as carefully as I could to pick the thing up without getting it all over the place and the sandwich just laughed at me, dripping sauce all over the place. It doesn't taste like much of anything, and certainly not anything resembling a hot pepper. Imagine orange, watered-down mayo. I think there was colby jack on it, but I didn't taste any cheese at all. Perhaps it was ghost cheese in the same way that the peppers in the sauce were ghost. The bun was...okay. Tasted like a hamburger bun. Not much more to say about it other than I guess it did a good job holding together the chicken, ghost cheese, gallon of ghost pepper sauce, literally every friggin' red onion they had in the building (it doesn't look like it in the photos but that thing was onion city) and jalapeño bits. Oh, speaking of the jalapeño bits, I'm pretty sure someone screwed up and sent this store green pepper bits by mistake. Those things did not taste like jalapeño. They tasted exactly like green bell pepper, so unless there's a jalapeño variant out there designed to taste like a bell pepper, they weren't jalapeños.  The fries, as you can see, were normal fries with Ghost Pepper Sauce and "jalapeño" bits on them. Not horrible, but after the sandwich, I was ready to bail on them. All in all, this was a bad deal. Wasn't a fan of the sandwich, and the fries left a lot to be desired, too. I guess it might appeal to you if you're super into chicken sandwiches drenched in mild mayo with undetectable cheese, onion, and green pepper on them. I give it one disappointed hot pepper out of five. It wasn't spicy at all, and it was only barely a chicken sandwich.   BONUS FOR THE NEGATIVE NANCIES 
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Apr 19, 2016 21:13
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Do you think the FDA has guidelines about what canned squid you can and can not call "Fancy Quality?" CHAPTER 6.22 §15-5 SQUID, CANNED 1.1 Only squids with eight (8) tentacles can be referred to as "FANCY QUALITY." 1.2 Squids with fewer than eight (8) tentacles shall be described as "FAIR QUALITY." 1.3 In the event that a can contains only squid heads, it shall be described as whatever the manufacturer wants because what the gently caress ADDENDUM All canned squid must be manufactured in a manner that will result in a product that will photograph poorly.
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Apr 20, 2016 13:44
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Everyone check your cards. Someone in this room has a bingo.
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Apr 22, 2016 13:27
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twoday posted:
"So the effective sample size they were working with was 15, and one dude with leprosy said he hunted and ate armadillos. Ideas for a headline?" "EATING ARMADILLOS GIVES YOU LEPROSY" 
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Apr 25, 2016 15:24
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pienipple posted:They are known to carry leprosy germs on their feet, so probably less the eating than the frequent handling of carcasses to butcher then. Yeah, I've got no beef with the research methods or their conclusions--it all seems pretty sound. "We found these markers here, and they're also there, and that's way too many in common to be pure coincidence." My sticking point is the dumbshit journalist who saw that one dude reported having hunted and eaten armadillo and automatically slapped a clickbait headline on the article. We can't say for sure if those activities even caused his illness, let alone whether it was the dressing and preparation of the animal or the actual consumption of the cooked meat. Hell, it's equally as likely that he contracted leprosy hauling the bits he didn't cook out to the garbage because he tripped over a different, live armadillo on the way back to the house. It's bad journalism and it makes me angrier than the angriest whopper
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Apr 25, 2016 19:55
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Haha, someone got 'em with the ol' "loosen the lid on the parm" gag "Hey bae, I made hot dogs for dinner" 
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Apr 26, 2016 13:37
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Aesop Poprock posted:Who's the jerk that changed all the thread titles to this confusing mess It's Take Your Kid to Work Day, so I'm picturing some mod's kid going "Hey dad I can't tell these threads apart so let's name them all the same thing" and the dad just smiling Who wants a hot dog? 
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Apr 28, 2016 14:50
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I like the little plastic thingy that keeps the pizza from touching the pizza
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Apr 28, 2016 18:52
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A potato when raw is furious.
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May 1, 2016 23:14
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Efexeye posted:if you've never mixed velveeta and hormel chili and eaten it with tostitos i feel bad for you, son
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May 2, 2016 21:23
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I love that guy. I could watch his videos all day. My favorite is the classic where he put water, boiled potatoes, elbow macaroni, American cheese slices, and pre-chewed carrots in a pan and ate out of it while it was cooking. "Raikasta ja Ravitsevaa peruna!" *crunches on raw macaroni*
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May 17, 2016 17:45
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Screaming Idiot posted:What the hell is that beige stuff under that yellow stuff? Tasteful Dickpic posted:And what are those pink doughnut-shaped things? Curling space bugs.
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May 18, 2016 14:30
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The Culinary Atrocity Megathread: Don't Post Small Pastry
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May 19, 2016 19:21
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Cooling rack in a goddamn pan. They knew what would happen so far in advance that they were able to plan for it. A dumbass ice a hot cake, a shameful dumbass
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May 19, 2016 22:14
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The 1/8th teaspoon of black pepper is the most endearing part of this surefire bingo winner. "Well, we don't want this to be bland, now do we?"
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May 20, 2016 15:16
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May 20, 2016 16:07
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bunnyofdoom posted:
That looks tasty as hell
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May 23, 2016 16:18
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Scathach posted:This is like aliens attempting corn dogs and also getting confused as to what setting corn dogs are actually eaten in. WHAT IS WRONG, HU-MON? WE HAVE REPLICATED THE EARTH "CORN DOG" MEAL PERFECTLY. CEASE THOSE NOISES AND OCULAR FLUID SECRETIONS IMMEDIATELY!
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May 24, 2016 13:56
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I had a jalapeño beer a while back. It was...um, exactly as advertised. I probably wouldn't drink another one. I dig both jalapeños and beer on their own, but the combination of both was just too weird.
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May 25, 2016 16:05
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Blackfish posted:The worst liquor I've ever had is this sorghum stuff my Chinese friend likes to inflict on us at New Years parties. It tastes like turpentine and despair. Oh god, baijiu is the loving worst It tastes like doing a shot of carburetor cleaner that a diabetic peed in
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May 25, 2016 21:28
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Time to go to the store, guddamn
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May 27, 2016 13:50
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Iron Crowned posted:I can't buy that stuff because I have better stuff readily available, literally right next to it You lucky bastard. Trip Report: Ballpark "Park's Finest" Cracked Dijon Mustard dogs Hotdogs found: 0 Bollards hit: 0 (my grocer doesn't have them)
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May 27, 2016 15:32
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"Government funded textbooks" also say that thousands of slaves willingly fought for the South in the Civil War and that evolution is just a silly theory that atheists wrongly believe Tasteful Dickpic posted:They're just the dictionary. The important stuff, like definitions of words like "mancave," "sexting," and "f-bomb"
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May 31, 2016 14:42
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This photo makes me irrationally angry. Unlike with pizza, there are watermelon rules. You don't fancy up watermelon with cheese and whatever the hell "nut crumbles" are, you either ram that poo poo into your face-hole as fast and messily as possible for maximum enjoyment, or you smash them with a comically oversized mallet.
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Jun 1, 2016 13:37
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You Are A Elf posted:I've always wondered why people do this, and now I know. You might've added too much. A tiny bit is all it takes. If you take a bite and immediately go "ag salt," you've done hosed it up.
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Jun 1, 2016 14:42
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Iron Crowned posted:AG is silver though Nah.
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Jun 1, 2016 15:20
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Plinkey posted:I pity all of you with broken taste buds that somehow can't enjoy tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich on a lazy sunday while putting down a bloody mary with extra hot sauce and horseradish. Homemade tomato soup is the bomb but a can of Campbell's condensed tomato soup has thirty loving grams of sugar in it. That's the amount of sugar in three glazed donuts. Good god, why is there so much sugar in soup Also, I'm on the bloody mary train, but I can't find a bartender who will make one spicy enough. They get all serious when I ask for an extra spicy one and tell me that it'll be really spicy and that I should reconsider, but when it arrives, it tastes like someone briefly showed some tomatoes a photo of black pepper.
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Jun 2, 2016 13:28
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bunnyofdoom posted:lettuce race if I had a salad with breakfast can I still count the lettuce that was in it even though I hadn't read your post yet
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Jun 7, 2016 14:32
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