MLS 2016: This is going to look so dated and shitty in 4 years

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS 2016: This is going to look so dated and shitty in 4 years

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whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Hoover Dam posted:

And the Philadelphia Union are a team that exists.

[citation needed]

Someone besides me do the Sounders write-up for a change kthxbye

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 04:18

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:59

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

foobardog posted:

Troy Perkins, GK - Waived, retired

He's our academy's GK coach now.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 09:07

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

You're the second best team sitting at 0 points even!

(Because you only lost by 1 goal and alphabetical ordering)

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 00:57

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Watch Colorado sign him, because that's the most Colorado of things to do if Howard really is coming in.

Sorry Rapids goons.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2016 17:42

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

Sporks

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 21:42

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

No Toledo or Salazar anywhere? That's rather bizarre.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 22:48

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

The MLS will be a real league once a team gets a stadium deal like the Cincinnati Bengals have.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2016 02:45

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

N: Apparently Vancouver traded Darron Mattocks to Portland

V: Just what Portland needs, another forward who can't finish!

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 05:46

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

I've also been over in TFF, jerk. :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 18, 2016 17:26

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Errant Gin Monks posted:

I did not realize those guys basically made minimum wage. I also did not realize I make more than most MLS players. Jesus.

Looking at the MLS numbers it's weird as gently caress to see half of them make 60k and then some random dude makes 6 million.

Welcome to "Let's Not Spend Ourselves Into Insolvency Like the Old NASL" MLS. If you want some more fun, just look at the league's roster/salary cap rules...then realize they can be broken/rewritten on a whim so long as it suits the league. :v:

# ¿ Mar 19, 2016 18:03

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

1 sign of the apocalypse down, 3 to go: Beckham and co. acquired (most of) the land needed for their stadium

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 22:07

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

I remember reading that each team can request ~4 dates off, with most teams opting for all the international breaks.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2016 20:13

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Did it sound like he was chain smoking and polishing off a fifth of Jack during the call? That'd probably be the only I could get through making those calls all day, and I don't like either of those things.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2016 22:48

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Dallan Invictus posted:

...even MLS salaries look good (at least they arrive on time and the checks don't bounce)...

It's a shame we couldn't get something like this on the new logo.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 17:31

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

Please frame this post. Adi's elbows alone precludes your team from ever being considered 'clean', then you factor in Nat Borchers and Grabavoy, and it's not even close.

And this leaving off Diego "2011 and 2014 Fouls Committed Champion" Chara to boot.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 21:51

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Undoubtedly to have the Pope bless Drogba's knees so they have a shot of making it through an entire season.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 22:18

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Good plan, let people know you're serious about establishing a winning tradition by naming your Detroit-based team "Lions".

# ¿ Apr 27, 2016 18:03

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

I think teams are only allowed so many chartered flights in a season.

I also hope you took the opportunity to curse out Wondo over the Belgium game.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 22:04

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Friends Only?
Fantastic Opponents?

Am I getting close?

# ¿ May 5, 2016 00:15

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Shrapnig posted:

This is stupid and I hate it.

Alternate thread title

# ¿ May 5, 2016 01:16

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Dallan Invictus posted:

tl;dr: fans are the worst, kill all fans.

We're doing a really good job at coming up with alternate titles for this thread.

# ¿ May 13, 2016 17:19

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Azerban posted:

you're only allowed x number of chartered flights a year because it's an unfair advantage to the poorer teams

# ¿ May 13, 2016 18:02

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Found the bit in the CBA about travel

MLS CBA posted:

Section 11.1 Mode of Transportation: Team travel greater than two hundred and fifty (250)
miles shall be by air on regular commercial carriers, when reasonably practical. The determination
of whether a trip exceeds 250 miles shall be measured by the distance between airports of the two
cities. When traveling by air on commercial flights, Teams shall use reasonable efforts to fly
without connecting flights, and shall make reasonable efforts to ensure that all Player seats on such
flights are aisle or window seats. Airline mileage points/awards shall be available to Players for
their travel on commercial airlines. There shall be no obligation by MLS and/or a Team to provide
chartered air transportation. MLS shall continue its policy of allowing Teams to provide chartered
air transportation for four legs of flights per year, and nothing in the CBA shall prohibit MLS, in its
sole and absolute discretion, from providing additional chartered air flights. To facilitate
international travel including between the United States and Canada, MLS and/or its Teams shall
pay for Global Entry and Nexus travel privileges, and their Canadian equivalent if any, for Players.

# ¿ May 13, 2016 18:08

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3016432/Club-club-guide-Premier-League-s-financial-health.html

This is from last year and only the precious, perfect BPL.

That Leicester comment :laugh:

# ¿ May 13, 2016 21:08

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

trem_two posted:

https://twitter.com/RNs_Funhouse/status/732649826186203136

That was really awkward to sit through because you know everyone involved was miserable the whole time...just like watching an NYCFC home game.

# ¿ May 18, 2016 16:24

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

We don't need to dump Valdez, he and Deuce are our only DPs.

We should totally dump Valdez though

# ¿ May 19, 2016 07:12

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Somebody on reddit went through and graphed (with some error) the area accessible by each team's stadium by public transit within 45 minutes:

http://imgur.com/a/5feFI
(Thread)

Cascadia Uber Alles :smug:

# ¿ May 20, 2016 20:44

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Brutal

https://twitter.com/RipSports/status/735654558072852480
https://twitter.com/SoccerByIves/status/735655870273572865

# ¿ May 26, 2016 03:20

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

I really could have done without seeing Vince McMahon's O Face.

# ¿ May 27, 2016 02:17

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Riven posted:

My team is in first place and I still think our coach is an embarrassment.

Would you still think that if he never got rid of the stache?

# ¿ May 27, 2016 17:08

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

James Riley is also at 7 (NE, SJ, SEA, CHV, DCU, LAG, COL)

# ¿ May 27, 2016 23:59

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

Jeff Cunningham? Oduro? What about them?

6, 7

# ¿ May 28, 2016 00:39

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Good job ESPN

# ¿ May 28, 2016 18:56

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Wait, Nate "Human Giraffe" Jaqua ran 100 miles without falling over?

I call bullshit.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2016 23:42

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Surprising not that many (although I figured Atlanta would've made a stronger push for him)

https://twitter.com/MLS/status/755517605243416576

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 23:00

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Pharmacy Chain: "Hey Marketing Company, we'll pay you $X per prescription you send our way" (Conspiracy)
Marketing Company: "Hey Peter Pappas, we'll pay you $X to increase prescriptions carried out by Pharmacy Chain by any means necessary"
Pappas: "Hey friends, file a bunch of claims for XYZ prescriptions through Pharmacy Chain, even if you don't need it"
Pappas and friends file claims for prescriptions they don't need (Insurance fraud)
Their employers give Pharmacy Chain a bunch of money for said prescriptions
Pharmacy Chain gives Marketing Company their cut (Kickback)
Marketing Company pays Pappas
Repeat until indictment

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 07:05

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Ciprian Maricon posted:

Actually Fancy, warmongers and pyramid shcemes are perfectly acceptable sponsors, but not businesses with funny names, that's a sacred line.

I'm slightly bummed that there isn't an MLM Cup between LA/RSL/Dallas/San Jose when they were with Amway.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 17:29

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

To quote myself from the GDT:

whypick1 posted:

I think I'm just going to stop watching Sounders game this season. Can't even be bad in an entertaining way.

And this was before that Bedoya tweet :shepicide:

Go Rapids.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2016 01:40

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Was Taters posted:

I wish the other things the FO were doing would stop, like that clear bag policy bullshit.

That's league-wide though.

And I doubt Lagerway would go before Sigi considering he only just got hired last year.

Your Boy Fancy posted:

You will continue to watch your shitheap of a team, regardless of the soul deadening badness they make you feel. This is your first bad year. We're in year five of the Ben Olsen experiment, and you will sit down and watch your team, you son of a bitch.

Burn with me.

If I burn with you can I at least drink the whole time?

# ¿ Jul 25, 2016 22:13

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:59

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

1. DC de-criminalized weed last year
2. Weed and I don't get along

# ¿ Jul 25, 2016 23:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS 2016: This is going to look so dated and shitty in 4 years

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