shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›5 »

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

I'm going t leave this here in case anyone needs to deal with stdh in their personal life.

https://twitter.com/softsynthbear/status/1116843758945878017?s=19

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 22:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:50

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Furia posted:

What the hell did Rowling do?

She keeps revealing facts no one needed to hear. Like that wizards didn't use toilets until recently and used to just magic the poop out of their bodies. Or that Dumbledore and Wizard Hitler used to gently caress like cats in heat.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2019 15:43

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

ElGroucho posted:

If I still had a bunch of TMNT shirts and posters and stickers and poo poo at age 35, I'd kindly ask one of you to throw me off a cliff.

I sometimes wonder what this girl is up to now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz3m_7ozhNo

She's gotta be in her early 40s by now.

Air Skwirl has a new favorite as of 19:48 on Apr 14, 2019

# ¿ Apr 14, 2019 19:46

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

LeGuin at least probably wouldn't be retweeting TERFs.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2019 19:49

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

AlbieQuirky posted:

Kind of bars you go to where people stand when the TV plays the Star Spangled Banner?

When I'm watching sports at a bar I always stand for the national anthem, because I'm in line for a urinal, or peeing.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 00:10

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

If you are in a mixed group during US team/canadian team NHL game it is the law to obnoxiously scream along to your anthem imo

Do they play the national anthem before every hockey game? Do they play both when it's a Canadian team and a US team?

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 00:21

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

It's a pretty cool looking cake. I could see a small child flipping out if they were promised one and not getting it. None of the rest seems likely.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2019 20:59

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

From the IOSM thread

grittyreboot posted:

https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/1119344672101552129?s=19

As someone said there, the least believable parts are, 1) Him going to a pub, and 2) him having a friend.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2019 00:50

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Splicer posted:

Did he ever say why he did it?

I'm going with "he was 17."

# ¿ May 7, 2019 07:55

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

If it happened like he said (it didn't) she should have charged him for a well drink even if she accidentally poured top shelf.

I seriously don't know how a bartender would screw that up though, most of what they'd be pouring would well cocktails probably.

# ¿ May 25, 2019 21:44

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

I just don't buy the bartender insisting they pay for the more expensive drink. I've never been a cocktail bartender, but I've accidentally poured the wrong beer before and the only way I'd charge the customer something different than what they'd ordered is if I gave them something cheaper and then I'd charge them less.

I've had loving cheapskates too, and they'd make you pour out the drink and make a new one with the cheap stuff, like best possible circumstances is you are still pouring a seven dollar drink down the drain instead of taking 3.50.

# ¿ May 26, 2019 02:15

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

I worked at a place that had both red and white Zinfandel on the "by the glass" list, so when someone ordered "the red Zin" their friend asked for "the red Cab[ernet]"

# ¿ May 27, 2019 04:44

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

chitoryu12 posted:

If you lied, would they know?

If they got caught it's probably an assault charge bare minimum.

# ¿ May 30, 2019 03:55

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Jurgan posted:

40 ounces a day isn’t that much...

is it?

It's like a quarter pound of sugar.

# ¿ May 30, 2019 21:01

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Or you could drink water instead.

# ¿ May 31, 2019 00:19

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

It does, but it doesn’t do so at a higher rate than regular soda. There’s a weird line of thinking where people want diet soda to be unhealthier than regular soda for some reason.

I've never thought it was worse than regular soda, I've just thought it terrible enough that you shouldn't think you're being "healthy" by drinking diet soda.

# ¿ May 31, 2019 04:35

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Bobby Digital posted:

Yes that is how sweet tea works.

The one southerner I knew who made his own insisted it didn't have enough sugar until the straw sticks upright in it.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2019 00:52

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Jurgan posted:

Amazingly, one of the most accurate and respectful portrayals was on South Park.

Well, if they went with the stereotype of just say "poo poo gently caress balls" at random, how would anyone know they were different from the rest of the characters?

# ¿ Jun 2, 2019 22:52

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

I suspect the "said a prayer" bit indicates this is a parody of other stdh but nonetheless

how tall is this lady that he has to look up at her for his bon mot

how short is this man

He's literally a country mouse.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2019 20:36

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I did when I was around that age because it looked cool and I was desperate to express my uniqueness through my handwriting.

Were you also a xenophobic racist at ten?

# ¿ Jun 22, 2019 04:28

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

https://twitter.com/IGD_News/status/1146561959048802304?s=19

I too am the first leftist to read an economics text book.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2019 07:29

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

3.14 is close enough for intercontinental missiles, so 3.11 is probably close enough for anyone else.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2019 08:50

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Stoatbringer posted:

How hard is it to miss a continent, though?

It's for calculating the diameter of the cake at the Yemeni wedding.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2019 22:49

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

bike tory posted:

That seems totally plausible?

Yeah Richard Garriot (creator of MTG) proposed to his wife with a custom card. Some nerd back in the 80s managed to get a custom tetris cartridge made for a Gameboy that featured a proposal when his girlfriend beat it.

A single custom card seems easy as hell. I bet dome companies would do it for free if approached correctly. If not a decent looking counterfeit is probably way cheaper then renting the billboard at a baseball game or whatever.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 03:17

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Len posted:

Well forgive me for just assuming it was some bullshit posted on Reddit for upvotes for whatever reason. I just don't believe good things can come out of this hell timeline

It might be, but it's a simple enough thing you'd have to start assuming that about every cute proposal story. And that way lies madness.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 03:35

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

kimbo305 posted:

Richard Garfield?

Yeah, Gariott's the Ultima guy, right?

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 04:16

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Pneub posted:

Billy Mitchell.

No, he wrote Piano Man.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 06:39

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Pneub posted:

No that's Billy Idol.

That's the female tennis player that beat Bobby Riggs.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2019 19:33

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Garrand posted:

Oh god, I spent like half of that thinking it was one of those things where the 6 year old randomly has a fascination with the garbagemen.

e: Seriously, my chain of thoughts was that she was a child at the beginning of the story and her fascination held all the way until college (radiography classes) and it was the story of some 50 year old garbage man getting together with the 20 year old..

This makes it sound like a much more believable story.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 08:16

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1164235891348582400?s=20

This was a fake "Dear Abby" question like a couple decades ago from a woman engaged to a mortician.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 19:36

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Why would you wait in the garage and not by where your sister would pick up her checked luggage?

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 15:53

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Bobby Digital posted:

In the US at least, airport police tend to get a bit antsy if you park and wait for arrivals.

What? No they don't. Baggage claim is always full of people waiting for friends and family to get off the plane.

Unless you mean they get antsy if you wait in the parking garage. Which yeah, I could see. Most airports have a cellphone lot where you wait to get a phonecall to pick someone up. But no one is walking around there and there wouldn't be anywhere to run off to.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 16:24

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Bobby Digital posted:

I meant waiting in your car at the curb. Obviously you can park in the garage and go inside to meet people.

Oh yeah, you aren't allowed to wait at the curb. I was saying, if you're already parked in the garage, what kind of rear end in a top hat doesn't go meet their sister inside?

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 23:11

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

NtotheTC posted:

There are drill sargeants at bible camp?

A drill sergeant is basically someone who screams at you and constantly uses racist and homophobic comments to get you to work harder, so yeah probably

# ¿ Sep 5, 2019 08:30

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

AlbieQuirky posted:

Reductress is a parody site. Like The Onion, but parodying websites aimed at women, not just media in general.

The post is about the comment posted below the article title.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 08:32

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

I believe the waking up part and seeing your cats staring at the door, because they'll just stare at poo poo.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 22:51

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

TheKennedys posted:

my idiot orange cat is currently staring intently at absolutely nothing in a corner of the kitchen, can confirm

Ahh, my idiot cat is orange too. Why are orange cats both the best cats and the dumbest?

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 23:23

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Anything less than 10 bucks in Seattle you can still check stuff out, and you only have to pay down to 9.99 to be able to check stuff out again. But if it's in one of those places where Republicans try and drug test people with food stamps I wouldn't be surprised if they had a zero tolerance policy towards late fees.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2019 22:34

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Tunicate posted:

A big name celebrity!

I almost believe that one. Cops aren't very smart and are celebrity whores.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2019 05:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:50

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

life is killing me posted:

Not to be a complete 35 year-old here, but who the living gently caress is Shawn Mendes

Singer.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2019 22:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›5 »