eating only apples posted:

These are... 5 and 6 year olds, right? That's kindergarten age? I've worked with kids of that age and yeah no, what?

BioEnchanted posted:

Why did that last person use a bandaid to stick their message to the wall? Did they not have sellotape?

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Let's re-rail please.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

I just want a compilation post/thread of all the goon-specific STDH.

quote:

Except your nickname doesn't matter to the story at all either. It comes off as someone who really wanted a nickname but never got one trying to make it work.

Also your story really reads like poo poo that didn't happen.txt

quote:

Actually, that’s exactly what it was. I’d always wanted a nickname and never had one before.

Also, I respect your opinion but there’s rules on r/ProRevenge about commenting things like ‘reads like poo poo’ or ‘that totally happened’

yeah I eat rear end posted:

You infiltrated their lazy creative writing safe space, prepare to be banned.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Don't tease me unless you have a link!

Katt posted:

For the sake of the women we have to stop #metoo before it's too late.

kazil posted:

The author is a woman...

burial posted:

Why IS that phrase in quotes? Is the implication that these girls aren’t in bad circumstances so much as they’re just trollops, or?

life is killing me posted:

Lol who sends in resumes to work at Chipotle, like most minimum wage jobs they want to know your employment history and that's about it.

Unless minimum wage jobs have begun to request resumes for burrito-making experience, up to and including an essay about making the best burritos and being a team player

RoboRodent posted:

When I was job hunting last spring, I ended up filling out quite a few personality quizzes, and it's the most frustrating thing. You just know there's some egghead in an office who has worked out the "ideal" profile of the "ideal" worker, and it's a system that's really only rewarding people who know how to play the system, or who get lucky. I had one that asked me to rate, on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree), the statement "I am anxious most of the time." I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I feel anxious 100% of the time, except maybe sometimes when I'm asleep. I am absolutely positive that this falls into "questions a potential employer is not allowed to ask you." I got up from my computer, stormed around the apartment for about half an hour and considered ragequitting, then came back and finished the quiz. Pretty sure I lied on that question.

They hired me. I work there now.

walrusman posted:

They don't need a resume or experience, they just want to know your skills and your work history!

Are you drunk? Am I?

Turtlicious posted:

He was making a finger gun jesus christ.

Zipperelli. posted:

What a dumbass story. How would she know who was playing the music? How would she know about the previous relationship between the barback and server? How has she never heard of NFG? They were loving ubiquitous in the early 2000s. Even if you didn't know their name, you've heard their songs.

The entirety of this STDH is "we had lunch, the staff messed around with the music."

Completely pointless.

life is killing me posted:

Ok so out of curiosity I looked up Fluevog, as I’ve never heard of Fluevog.

Most of the womens’ shoes on the website are atrocious, ranging from designer versions of Dutch wooden clogs, to basically fancier, leather Crocs, to fancy Birkenstock style sandals that go a little past the ankle with what looks like a thick crepe sole.

The waitstaff were probably laughing their asses off at those ridiculous shoes and they told this guy to come see for himself, which he did, attempting to stifle his own laughter.

THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:

I tried making weed butter for the first time a couple months ago because my dog got pancreatitis and was losing weight from not eating. Only after making it did I do the research to see that 1. You shouldn't drug your dog and 2. High fat consumption is bad for pancreatitis. So I decided to scrap that idea and make a couple cookies with it instead. I ate 2/3 of a deece sized cookie at like 7pm and didn't sleep at all that night and was hosed up for like 24 hours. Work was absolutely miserable and I wanted to die. And I've smoked pot since I was 13, basically everyday between age 15-19.

I wouldn't spike my worst enemy's food because if someone did that to me I absolutely would have gone to the emergency room.

Pththya-lyi posted:

So much STDH in this Twitter thread:

https://twitter.com/SchneidRemarks/status/983049390880444416

Araenna posted:

Huh, haven't seen that in my area at all. Most be somewhat regional? Like, we have Regal and everything, none of them do. Maybe for RPX they might? I never pay extra for those, just 3d. I know the normal ones never do that though.

Zelder posted:

coworker 1 is fat as hell

Tunicate posted:

Splicer posted:

Every post referring to the angry Scot as Irish makes the original stdh funnier

The General posted:

I will admit I didn't go to college, but wouldn't/shouldn't parents stay out of orientation?

tpink posted:

This is some next-level sad poo poo, Jesus.

jodai posted:

No, for some reason, sometimes a coupon that's supposed to be two dollars off of a five dollar item works for the dollar version of the item and then a coupon queen Facebook group will spread that info around. Most cashiers don't notice or care but if the store catches on, they'll start checking coupons. It's one of the reasons I'm glad I got out of retail.

Zelder posted:

God I would give anything to click that read more button

quote:

I remember a similar incident:

I was walking home from school, when I felt someone tug my bag, I turned and looked them in the eye when I heard the signature click of an automatic grenade launcher.

I immediately smashed his head into a pulp with my fists only stopping when there where little fragments of his skull crumbling across the floor.

I met his sister she was so proud that she invited me on a date. Now we’re married with 19 kids.

life is killing me posted:

Ok someone please explain to me what a Pop is, that whole thing was an imbroglio of inside jokes no one outside his particular HT would understand and also HT sucks. I cringe when I see a person ostensibly in his or her 20s wearing a, "I used to be schizophrenic but we're okay now" shirt or some such

Elysiume posted:

Funko Pops are horrid and any time I'm at a convention there's sure to be several booths selling rare Pops for $100-$500. There are few of them I'd even take for free; they're so ugly.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I know it's fake, but it still doesn't make any sense. Nobody prepays for gas unless their car is already at the pump.

kazil posted:

Stop.
Trying.
To.
Explain.
The.
Bullshit.
Stories.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Because efficiency is what drives English teachers when planning lessons.

This is the most believable part of that entire ridiculous post. My teacher had us read different parts like that when I was in high school. I remember doing the opening scene of Hamlet like that.

DavidAlltheTime posted:

poo poo that didn't happen: covering an entire shakespeare play in mine Englishe classe.

Why? Because the words were written to be performed, not read at first glance by teenagers hundreds of years later. Sheesh. If students are interested, I'll run a book club for them. Otherwise, there's other, more engaging ways to teach english.

Breitbart Is Rightbart posted:

https://twitter.com/thunt59/status/1029530308713033728?s=19

I'm the person who keeps the same phone for five years

Jerry Cotton posted:

Some ten years ago one January I penned in "YEARLY SHOWER" in my sister's work calendar at just before Christmas welp that's my calendar prank story and also who the gently caress doesn't use Outlook calendar anyway in loving 2018 it's not tied to your loving phone

burial posted:

Ha. That’s interesting. Around here, most stations have cameras but but don’t actually bother to record anything (at least with the outside ones.) Somebody backed into my car WHILE I WAS LEANING AGAINST THE OTHER SIDE OF IT PUMPING GAS PETROL and drove off awhile back. The employee just kind of shrugged at me like asking him to check the tape was an alien concept.