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Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. We're hosed. ---------- THE LIBERAL PARTY OF AUSTRALIA  Malcolm Turnbull's the smartest guy in the room. He knows it, and he'll make sure you know it. After a lifetime of business success, he has turned his eye to politics and he could save the country if everyone just did what he wanted them to. THE NATIONAL PARTY  The Nationals are unique, both warm and direct. When you disrespect Australian law they will tell you firmly. It's one of their proudest traditions. THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY  A faceless man with a bad suit, Bill Shorten is more familiar with hidden machinations than open deals. Few people know what he really stands for, but many have asked the question. THE AUSTRALIAN GREENS  After years on a hellish island, The Greens have come to the mainland with only one goal: to save their country. But to do so, they can't be the minor party they once were. They must become someone else. They must become something else. ---------- The Crossbench ---------- DAVID LEYONHJELM  Peace comes from the barrel of a gun, and Leyonhjelm won't stop until Australia is the most peaceful country on Earth. NICK XENOPHON  Xenophon's policies are a mix of everything, so while he's not in a mainstream party he's still been quite successful. He's trying to found a team of outsiders, and he might just succeed. CLIVE PALMER  Don't be fooled by his comical appearance; it hides a devious mind. After failing to achieve his aims behind the scenes, Palmer decided to come out of his shell. Best not to mention China to him though. RICKY MUIR  Sometimes an ordinary man who likes cars isn't just an ordinary man who likes cars. BOB KATTER  You can't quite put your finger on it, but there's something odd about the guy. Maybe it's the hat, maybe it's his odd speech patterns, but you he's got a mesmeric quality. Also, what a hat! ---------- For Those Who Came in Late... #2013 - K-Rudd had clawed his way back to the Prime Ministership, only to be cut down by the Mad Monk#. The losses were so great that the Greens lost control of the Senate, replaced by a ragtag rogues gallery of cross-benchers. The Mad Monk promised a time of peace, while the Shadow Cabinet used the opportunity to rebuild in the hope that the remaining wounds would heal before the next fight. #in 2013 - Election! Look for the upcoming sequel --Spaceman #2014 The Mad Monk's reign did not go well. Aside from increasing pollution levels and turning away the desperate, nothing went right for him. His henchmen Sloppy Joe and The Cormannator proposed a budget that managed to be simultaneously cruel and economically ineffective. A confrontation with Putin never eventuated. The Corrupt Heart of NSW consumed the guilty. Policies were floated, hated, and dismissed on a routine basis. Knighthoods were reestablished. Terrorism struck at the heart of Sydney. #2015 A year of bad decisions punctuated by failure had left the Liberals restless. The Mad Monk received an ultimatum from his own back bench to turn things around or face removal, but the party itself was dogged by scandal. Helicoptrix's excesses were made public and despite her banishment, others escaped punishment. Mr Potato Head's goons over-reached in their pursuit of the Q-Jumpers, only to be forced into an embarrassing backflip. Having failed to meet the conditions set in the ultimatum, the Mad Monk lost his hold on the leadership. Turnbull, ever the businessman, sold off his principles to raise the political capital required to buy off the various factions. Once again, Australia had a new Prime Minister. #2016 The public began to realise that regardless of who was Prime Minister, the Liberals were still in government. As the Faceless Man began to form an identity, the Mad Monk remained determined to be neither gone nor forgotten. Turnbull implemented a plan to clean up the cross bench, thus reducing his primary opposition to only foes within his own party. He gave the cross benches an ultimatum: build a Star Chamber or fall on their swords. They fell (or were pushed) and thus the stage was set for a Double Dissolution. ---------- This Is Where We Came In And where I drop the gimmick The Budget has been brought forward from Tuesday May 10th to May 3rd, to allow a bit of breathing room in calling the (expected) Double Dissolution. The Budget will represent an unofficial launch of the Coalition's election campaign and will dominate a lot of political discussion for the next month. Once the DD is called, the government will be in caretaker mode so while there won't be any parliamentary action, the business of torturing innocents and ravaging the planet should continue unimpeded. quote:
V for Vegas posted:For May Auspol can The Arts Party get a shoutout in the OP.
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Apr 30, 2016 15:20
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There is an irc channel, #auspol on synirc where Australians discuss things, presumably dark spooky things that man was not meant to know. 
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:41 |
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good OP
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Apr 30, 2016 15:54
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LibertyCat posted:good OP Kiss of death
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Apr 30, 2016 16:03
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What, you couldn't find an appropriate DC character for all the parties? that's just lazy.
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Apr 30, 2016 16:04
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The LibertyCat emerged from its burrow. The election is coming early.
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Apr 30, 2016 16:14
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Tokamak posted:The LibertyCat emerged from its burrow. The election is coming early. it's called a gulch, pal, and it doesn't happen until they've spouted off for ten million words
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Apr 30, 2016 18:27
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Good OP Herr Doktor
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Apr 30, 2016 23:37
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Vote 1 Lex Luther
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May 1, 2016 01:01
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Is Turnbull original movie Lex or Smallville Lex
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May 1, 2016 01:34
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Anidav posted:Is Turnbull original movie Lex or Smallville Lex Worse, insufferable Jesse Eisenberg Lex.
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May 1, 2016 01:41
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WhiskeyWhiskers posted:Worse, insufferable Jesse Eisenberg Lex. Urgh, the worst.
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May 1, 2016 01:58
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Oh yeah. That Lex.
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May 1, 2016 02:01
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Submarines are the spaceships of the Ocean.
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May 1, 2016 03:00
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Worst user name burn ever.  http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/betweenthelines/a-new-foreign-policy/7367334 Richard Woolcott gives a surprisingly acute insight into current foreign affairs from an Australian perspective. Is then cut off in mid flow by Switzer who clearly didn't vet his guest list properly. quote:Do we need an updated Australian foreign, trade and security policy for 2016 and beyond?
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May 1, 2016 03:07
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May 1, 2016 03:27
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Cartoon posted:Worst user name burn ever. Ahahahahaha.
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May 1, 2016 03:29
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I never quite understood why aligning ourselves with our Asian neighbours was desirable? What's the end game supposed to be?
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May 1, 2016 03:35
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lol It's not may yet
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May 1, 2016 03:50
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But it is
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May 1, 2016 03:55
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Merry May Day everyone. The rich are in-season. Tucker up.
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May 1, 2016 04:03
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open24hours posted:I never quite understood why aligning ourselves with our Asian neighbours was desirable? What's the end game supposed to be? bulk trade dollars
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May 1, 2016 04:09
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open24hours posted:I never quite understood why aligning ourselves with our Asian neighbours was desirable? What's the end game supposed to be?  It isn't all about trade dollars though. We need to broadly align ourselves with the other players in our region so we can reduce the causes of irritation between our neighbours. Having a very pissed off Indonesia for example would be a greatly bad thing because we need to cooperate with them on even simple matters like shipping lanes and airways. This why using our white bread xenophobia in diplomacy with Indonesia is such a bad idea (And it is not like they don't feel the impulse to do the same right back at us). Probably the more interesting question is why maintain close ties with a power that is actively stirring up trouble in the region (The US). The Chinese don't want to fight anybody and will continue to pursue 'peaceful' integration. If we want any say in how that is conducted we probably need to be having constructive talks with China not popping our heads out from behind uncle Sam and poking our tongues out occasionally. Even domestically integration is the key to our continued prosperity. I often consider it deeply ironic that new immigrants are harshly criticised for not integrating immediately. Shire folk have been here for as much as a dozen generations and they seem to be struggling. Maybe if enough brain dead blokes get Filipino/Thai wives it will all happen without too much effort in any case.
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May 1, 2016 04:59
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In this age of rapid transport everyone is our neighbour. Better business relations will presumably happen anyway, there's too much money to be made for them not to. I'm all for teaching Asian languages in schools and organising cultural exchanges to support this though, it's the diplomatic side that I don't really get. What does aligning ourselves with our Asian neighbours even mean? Trying to read up on it most of what's out there seems to be extended platitudes about how we need to be 'modern' (apparently aligning ourselves with China is modern?) or about how we need to be closer to Asia because it's the 'Asian Century'.
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May 1, 2016 05:09
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Cartoon posted:Maybe if enough brain dead blokes get Filipino/Thai wives it will all happen without too much effort in any case. 
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May 1, 2016 05:10
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Please forums poster Cartoon tell me more about being braindead and marrying a Thai or Filipino lady.
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May 1, 2016 05:13
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LibertyCat posted:Please forums poster Cartoon tell me more about being braindead and marrying a Thai or Filipino lady. I believe it is considered a voluntary contract between two mutually benefitting partners, one getting sex and companionship and the other residency and eventually possible citizenship in Australia. This "trade" is the basis of all human action and furthermore demonstrates that if the economic migrants in our detention centres were actually the hardworking ambitious battlers, bleeding heart lefties paint them as, they too would have entered into sex bondage with a wealthy white man. That they didn't proves that they should fail the character test.
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May 1, 2016 05:23
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the brain death is clearly unrelated in some cases
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May 1, 2016 05:29
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open24hours posted:What does aligning ourselves with our Asian neighbours even mean? Trying to read up on it most of what's out there seems to be extended platitudes about how we need to be 'modern' (apparently aligning ourselves with China is modern?) or about how we need to be closer to Asia because it's the 'Asian Century'. We won't know until we actually engage with their cultures and aspirations and keep playing the arms-length buzzword bingo. It's not a simple matter of enjoying their cuisine, going to their holiday destinations, or forming business partnerships to funnel money overseas to avoid domestic tax. And given we've got no loving idea what culture is except for being white, that engagement looks far away. As Cartoon suggests, it will take massive demographic change first before we realize we're already aligned.
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May 1, 2016 06:28
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open24hours posted:In this age of rapid transport everyone is our neighbour.
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May 1, 2016 06:43
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Bill Shorten is the question. If only he could find the answer.
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May 1, 2016 06:55
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Has he tried checking his notes?
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May 1, 2016 08:32
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a soundbite of him was on the radio driving home and i could hear the point where he looked down at the paper
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May 1, 2016 08:37
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open24hours posted:In this age of rapid transport everyone is our neighbour. Better business relations will presumably happen anyway, there's too much money to be made for them not to. I'm all for teaching Asian languages in schools and organising cultural exchanges to support this though, it's the diplomatic side that I don't really get. I don't think the diplomats get it either because Asia isn't some homogeneous group of nations who you can easily 'align' with. We need to cuddle up to the US for protection, but we can't do it too much or China will crack the sads because we do flybys of their illegal manmade islands. Not being assertive enough against China's territorial ambitions annoys the hell out of China's neighbors (look at the recent stuff from the Philippines) who feel threatened by China. I think the biggest influence over how well we 'align' with Asia is how well we learn their culture etc so we are better positions to market stuff to those people. For example the wine industry recently bought out a list of flavour descriptors that Chinese drinkers can relate to better than western descriptors like 'apple' and 'pear'. It's got nothing to do with modernity, it's just that 'modern' has taken the place of 'e' at the start of everything in the 2000s for making it look like you're cutting edge. The irony is that China is an economic house of cards and the closer we align to it the more Australian businesses will depend on it for revenue and the harder they'll get reamed when China eventually implodes.
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May 1, 2016 08:39
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Looks like a LNP Leadership spill is on in QLD. Bye Cyborg.
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May 1, 2016 10:43
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Anidav posted:Looks like a LNP Leadership spill is on in QLD. That he wasn't referred to as "The Bore" is one of the great tragedies in Queensland politics.
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May 1, 2016 10:49
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 http://www.2gb.com/audioplayer/173236 haha wtf Seriously what a wonderful trainwreck. I would blow Dane Cook fucked around with this message at 12:24 on May 1, 2016 |
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May 1, 2016 11:53
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You reckon Mal would try to position toy skulls behind him in all his pressers if he could get away with it?
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May 1, 2016 13:55
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WhiskeyWhiskers posted:You reckon Mal would try to position toy skulls behind him in all his pressers if he could get away with it? Do the skulls have negatively-geared properties?
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May 1, 2016 14:14
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Doctor Spaceman posted:Do the skulls have negatively-geared properties? I don't know, where could I look up Warren Truss' property portfolio?
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May 1, 2016 14:19
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:41 |
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The Loon Pond is a blog which often reads what I dare not, and here's some fun infighting between the Lib shill press: Why this anguish? Because Blot has Peta Credlin on his show being all chummy and wise.  They're not giving up, not these little black ducks. Thank god.
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May 1, 2016 14:36
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