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Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Doomed planet.
Desperate scientists.
Last hope.
We're hosed.

----------

THE LIBERAL PARTY OF AUSTRALIA

Malcolm Turnbull's the smartest guy in the room. He knows it, and he'll make sure you know it. After a lifetime of business success, he has turned his eye to politics and he could save the country if everyone just did what he wanted them to.

THE NATIONAL PARTY

The Nationals are unique, both warm and direct. When you disrespect Australian law they will tell you firmly. It's one of their proudest traditions.

THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY

A faceless man with a bad suit, Bill Shorten is more familiar with hidden machinations than open deals. Few people know what he really stands for, but many have asked the question.

THE AUSTRALIAN GREENS

After years on a hellish island, The Greens have come to the mainland with only one goal: to save their country. But to do so, they can't be the minor party they once were. They must become someone else. They must become something else.

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The Crossbench
----------

DAVID LEYONHJELM

Peace comes from the barrel of a gun, and Leyonhjelm won't stop until Australia is the most peaceful country on Earth.

NICK XENOPHON

Xenophon's policies are a mix of everything, so while he's not in a mainstream party he's still been quite successful. He's trying to found a team of outsiders, and he might just succeed.

CLIVE PALMER

Don't be fooled by his comical appearance; it hides a devious mind. After failing to achieve his aims behind the scenes, Palmer decided to come out of his shell. Best not to mention China to him though.

RICKY MUIR

Sometimes an ordinary man who likes cars isn't just an ordinary man who likes cars.

BOB KATTER

You can't quite put your finger on it, but there's something odd about the guy. Maybe it's the hat, maybe it's his odd speech patterns, but you he's got a mesmeric quality. Also, what a hat!

----------
For Those Who Came in Late...

#2013 -
K-Rudd had clawed his way back to the Prime Ministership, only to be cut down by the Mad Monk^#. The losses were so great that the Greens lost control of the Senate, replaced by a ragtag rogues gallery of cross-benchers. The Mad Monk promised a time of peace, while the Shadow Cabinet used the opportunity to rebuild in the hope that the remaining wounds would heal before the next fight.

^#in 2013 - Election! Look for the upcoming sequel --Spaceman

#2014
The Mad Monk's reign did not go well. Aside from increasing pollution levels and turning away the desperate, nothing went right for him. His henchmen Sloppy Joe and The Cormannator proposed a budget that managed to be simultaneously cruel and economically ineffective. A confrontation with Putin never eventuated. The Corrupt Heart of NSW consumed the guilty. Policies were floated, hated, and dismissed on a routine basis. Knighthoods were reestablished. Terrorism struck at the heart of Sydney.

#2015
A year of bad decisions punctuated by failure had left the Liberals restless. The Mad Monk received an ultimatum from his own back bench to turn things around or face removal, but the party itself was dogged by scandal. Helicoptrix's excesses were made public and despite her banishment, others escaped punishment. Mr Potato Head's goons over-reached in their pursuit of the Q-Jumpers, only to be forced into an embarrassing backflip. Having failed to meet the conditions set in the ultimatum, the Mad Monk lost his hold on the leadership. Turnbull, ever the businessman, sold off his principles to raise the political capital required to buy off the various factions. Once again, Australia had a new Prime Minister.

#2016
The public began to realise that regardless of who was Prime Minister, the Liberals were still in government. As the Faceless Man began to form an identity, the Mad Monk remained determined to be neither gone nor forgotten. Turnbull implemented a plan to clean up the cross bench, thus reducing his primary opposition to only foes within his own party. He gave the cross benches an ultimatum: build a Star Chamber or fall on their swords. They fell (or were pushed) and thus the stage was set for a Double Dissolution.

----------
This Is Where We Came In
And where I drop the gimmick

The Budget has been brought forward from Tuesday May 10th to May 3rd, to allow a bit of breathing room in calling the (expected) Double Dissolution. The Budget will represent an unofficial launch of the Coalition's election campaign and will dominate a lot of political discussion for the next month. Once the DD is called, the government will be in caretaker mode so while there won't be any parliamentary action, the business of torturing innocents and ravaging the planet should continue unimpeded.

quote:

There is an irc channel, #auspol on synirc where Australians discuss things, presumably dark spooky things that man was not meant to know.

IRC Rules: Don't be a shithead, don't say racist, sexist, or nasty things. Don't discuss verboten topics.

V for Vegas posted:

For May Auspol can The Arts Party get a shoutout in the OP.

They're currently running a pozible campaign ending 11 May for just $35,000 http://www.pozible.com/project/204920 to pay for AEC registrations and campaign funds, which is basically nothing in election terms. (Disclosure I'm a lay member, but not one of the organisers).

# ¿ Apr 30, 2016 15:20

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 06:07

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Cartoon posted:

Worst user name burn ever.

Ahahahahaha.

# ¿ May 1, 2016 03:29

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

You reckon Mal would try to position toy skulls behind him in all his pressers if he could get away with it?

Do the skulls have negatively-geared properties?

# ¿ May 1, 2016 14:14

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Shorten as a Faceless Man was easy, and I probably had this kicking around in my subconscious

# ¿ May 1, 2016 16:18

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Hahaha, it's basically Sir Humphrey's view on the French, just with shittier writing and not satirical.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 04:57

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Solemn Sloth posted:

The whole war with China thing is blatant yellow perilism but the idea of not handing control over a strategic asset to a government owned company of a nation who has shown itself happy to throw muscle around by withholding contracted material is the least dumb thing he's ever written

There's also the "what if we fight Muslims but French ~~terrorists~~ Muslims don't want us to" bit.

I'm not saying the French subs are a good idea (because ahahahaha jesus loving christ), but Bolt is out of his depth here.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 05:29

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

EvilElmo posted:

Like when they got rid of Howard's measures then got slaughtered in the polls?

Yeah, there was nothing else going on in the Labor Party at the time affecting their popularity.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 12:08

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Like the banks have any oversight.

Also QandA seems actually watchable.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 12:44

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

EvilElmo posted:

Politician free?

Pru Goward, but she's not the worst ever, and being a state level politician helps give some distance from the federal stuff. George Megalogenis and Laura Tingle can make up for a lot.

# ¿ May 2, 2016 12:48

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Agenda 21? What else are you worried about, HAARP? Chemtrails?

# ¿ May 2, 2016 13:44

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/wrongdorey/status/727113258243514368

# ¿ May 2, 2016 14:22

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/a_rigby/status/727124160254615552

# ¿ May 2, 2016 15:22

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

LibertyCat, are you also concerned about Order 66?

# ¿ May 2, 2016 15:37

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/a_rigby/status/727328470817075200

# ¿ May 3, 2016 03:55

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Gonna laugh hard if they don't manage to change those numbers with the budget.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 05:35

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

MysticalMachineGun posted:

Is that 80 000 gross or after tax?

...asking for a friend

I think it's lessening bracket creep for people above 80k (so taxable income), could be wrong though.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 05:51

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

Property prices are literally the #1, 2 and 3 subject of conversation in middle Australia. loving with negative gearing fucks with property prices. Shortens policy is like putting out an electrical fire using water. Good luck not getting shocked.

And part of the reason it's a huge topic is that housing affordability is hosed, and Labor's changes are a small step in the right direction.

It's not a massive vote winner (Essential have some polls, but I'm phone posting) but it's not a vote loser either, and it's the kind of thing people expect from Labor.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 05:58

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Goffer posted:

Huh, I assumed tax brackets were indexed with inflation. Turns out they're not, and bracket creep is real. Why they're only adjusting $80,000 is odd though.

It's real. The reason it's not indexed is that politicians prefer to have the option of giving tax cuts every few years or of raising more money without it being obvious.

Hockey's original plan for paying off the deficit relied heavily on it.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 06:01

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

Essential asked "for future purchases investors can only claim tax deductions for investments in newly built homes"

36 approve 38 disapprove.

24 said it would cause prices to fall, 31 to rise at a slower rate, 13 no change.

A majority thinking it will negatively affect house prices is not good for BS (he will never be prime minister)

A majority thinks it'll help housing affordability? Sounds good.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 06:41

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

Caaaaaaaarrrp

# ¿ May 3, 2016 07:15

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

DNQ posted:

How the hell did Dutton ever make it this far in politics? Even the Coalition must consider him one of their worst performers. I mean he's managed to successfully keep ScoMo's concentration camps open, but aside from that he's been a massive liability for them. Gaffe after gaffe, potato like expression after potato like expression.

He's the great white hope, especially after Morrison threw his lot in with Turnbull.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 09:09

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

what spot on the ticket did Sarah Hanson Young get? Is there any possibility we can get rid of her?

Depends where she is on the ticket in a DD, how well NXT go.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:30

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

37B deficit.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:34

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

RRRRRRRROADS.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:35

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

I'm impressed with how loving unimpressive this budget is.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:38

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Anidav posted:

He mentioned some plan to couple Newstart applicants with REAL EMPLOYERS.

Newstart internships?

Nah, paid at $4.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:47

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Anidav posted:

Is this real?

:|

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:49

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

it's up to $200 more per fortnight, do you hate money or something

So? You can't negatively gear on that.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 10:53

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Space Cadet did a wonderfully loud poo poo part way through the Newstart bit.

Negligent posted:

how much is newstart

Too low, according to the Business Council of Australia.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 11:01

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/SkyNewsAust/status/727438027039997953
Good.

Recoome posted:

Also GST on online purchases. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Yeah, with some restrictions.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 11:14

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Recoome posted:

Don't get too comfortable, I didn't think the ruled it out completely.

I perceived it as more of a delay

Yeah, even if they had ruled it out completely it'd still be something they'd want to do one day. Still better than the alternative.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 11:18

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Jumpingmanjim posted:

Why is the ABC filming in a hallway with random homeless people in the background?

Funding cuts.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 11:26

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

my stepdads beer posted:

WHat's with all the dams

They're the roads of the water.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 11:48

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Birdstrike posted:

Okay somebody tell me if I'm wrong/crazy regarding the business tax cuts.

For the local small-then medium-then any businessperson, because of dividend imputation/personal services attribution/div 7A (*chortle*), the local businessperson will pay a top up rate to hit the proper (higher) marginal rate. Because the individual brackets as largely unchanged, tax paid by the local entrepreneur will be largely unchanged.*

For the multinational not in the sights of ~~BORDER~~ TAX FORCE, you get a 5% tax cut benefiting largely foreign investors and doing not much for Australians.

*_{yeah I know about using trusts to split income}

My team of in-house experts agrees, but says that's assuming profits are distributed?

(I might have lost something in translation)

# ¿ May 3, 2016 12:57

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

EvilElmo posted:

You can do a lot more in Government than you can in opposition. As a Greens voter you're probably not aware of that.

As a Greens voter I've seen what Labor does in government.

quote:

Or we can wait until an election campaign and release our policies. Would this budget have looked the same if the ALP didn't release any policy? Would they have gone for a tobacco increase? I don't think so. Their strategy was to copy a bunch of Labor policy negating the Labor attack on this budget. If they had to come up with their own "moderate, election winning budget" I don't think they could have pulled it off.

The last three PMs to increase (or propose increasing) tobacco excise were Rudd, Gillard and Keating, so yeah, I think the Coalition might have been aware of Labor's stance on the matter. It's also hardly the mainstay of the budget, and the only reason that it's getting any significant attention at the moment is because the PBO and Treasury disagree on how effective it'll be at reducing smoking rates.

I'd also note that Labor released a policy on negative gearing, which didn't seem to turn up in the budget? Not sure why.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 15:19

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

EvilElmo posted:

You're right. ALP don't do anything good.

Through a minority government and very hostile opposition they got:

NBN
Carbon Tax
Mining Tax
NDIS
Apology to stolen generation
Education reform
PPL to include men
Plain packaging

Greens:
...

Yup, without a majority in parliament Labor alone did all those things. By themselves. Without any other votes or support.

quote:

The tobacco was an example, there are many other measures in this budget the Government has taken from the ALP.

Like?

# ¿ May 3, 2016 15:46

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/MarkDiStef/status/727633893629693952

# ¿ May 4, 2016 04:57

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

https://twitter.com/braddybb/status/727636373637734400

3D hologram covers?

I feel my thread gimmick was well chosen.

# ¿ May 4, 2016 06:56

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

Negligent posted:

If elected, bill shorten will personally set all asylum seekers on fire.

Daily Telegraph - Bill Shorten doesn't care about carbon emissions.

# ¿ May 4, 2016 23:32

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 06:07

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

https://twitter.com/murpharoo/status/727983514851811328

loving hell, the "Member for Rio Tinto" lines were just meant to be jokes, not suggestions.

# ¿ May 5, 2016 00:54

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