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H.H posted:Here's a confession I was asked to post in another thread (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3762804&perpage=40&pagenumber=43#post461442504): SELL SELL SELL SELL
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Jun 27, 2016 07:32
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Business Gorillas posted:Wouldn't the cans make more sense if you're cheap since they won't go flat as quickly? Yeah this is just weird. Buying them in cans is only 1.4 cents per ounce more expensive http://www.experienceproject.com/qu...-At-Math)/13724 and like Business Gorilla said, they'll last much longer without going flat, and they'll be much colder. I bet the confessor's friends don't even like his warm flat second hand "pre-opened" Diet Coke but feel obligated to drink it anyways since he's so anal about always having it on hand Also, how about this? "I don't have any Diet Coke right now, either bring it yourself or drink something else". Ya gotta stand up to your friends and have some self-respect idk man this one really got to me...I'll be thinking about this all day.
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Jul 20, 2016 15:29
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I think that was submitted ironically as a "confession", like, it sounds innocuous enough to not warrant being anonymous, but I actually find it to be pretty loving despicable and that goon is lucky they submitted that anonymously. I swear to god I would buy so much loving red text for the drat dilz that does that.....
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Jul 20, 2016 16:15
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Putty posted:if you refer to cats as "cattes" please strap a dildo to a desk fan and tornado plow your rear end to oblivion Someone, please, explain how this works. I'm asking on behalf of Science.
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Jul 28, 2016 04:28
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Popular Human posted:Dear goon who's afraid he's schizophrenic because he says stuff and makes hand motions in response to what's going on in his head: you're not schizo. You might want to look up some of the signs and symptoms of autism and see if you meet any of the other criteria, though, and maybe look into having yourself checked out if you do. I have some autistic tendencies and occasionally my wife will notice me doing exactly what you're doing when I'm extremely stressed out or tired and 'snap' me out of it. It's a common trait for people with Autism or OCD to have. The same is true for Gatorade, but only blue Gatorade. One of life's greatest little mysteries, wouldn't you say?
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Aug 3, 2016 20:39
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Schlub Husband posted:This was a few pages back but I'd be willing to bet this is Brandon Hardesty I'm a big fan of Brandon Hardesty, starting with his Reenactment series from the earlier days of YouTube and now his web series No Small Parts. As a fan of the guy, I'm 99% sure that's not him posting that confession. Nobody in their right mind, Brandon included, would list him in a top 10 list of character actors; he's simply not famous enough at this time for that. I'm guessing it's William H. Macy or somebody like that, I heard a rumor he was a goon at one point. Could also be John C. Reilly, I could see him posting here + showing up in a character actor list
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Aug 17, 2016 14:44
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H.H posted:I'm not going to do that for obvious reasons. If you so desperately want the attention, you're welcome to do it yourself. I'd just assumed that you had complied with his request and the one about pretending to be a lady is Jastiger
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Aug 18, 2016 06:49
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Totally TWISTED posted:Much better to keep stalking her and then get caught in her apartment one day when she comes home early and then she freaks out and slaps you and then you just love her so much that you push her away and she trips on the rug and cracks her skull on the countertop and now shes dead and you frantically get bleach and paper towels and try to wipe away anywhere your fingerprints may be and then you run and after years of grief over the incident where you somehow were never caught you hang yourself with coax cable as is only fitting aka TRUE LOVE
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Aug 18, 2016 18:16
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The hobbyist provider shame one is easily the fakest 'confession' this thread has ever seen.
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Aug 19, 2016 19:31
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Solice Kirsk posted:There was that long post by Fragmaster back in the day about having a deformed dick and masterbating by rubbing a toothbrush on "the spongy sensitive" part. I'd find it if I wasn't phone posting. I remember that article, I think it was actually Dr. David Thorpe. People believed him because it was so well written, then he was like "of loving COURSE it's not real, are you guys stupid?!"
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Aug 22, 2016 23:45
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I went looking and couldn't find it, but didn't someone recently post about trying to come up with a new GBS meme and feeling like they had one that would 'really stick' in people's subconscious based on the trials they'd done with their friends? I think that was the same person who posted "get a load of that dog". It feels good to say, but also strangely calculated somehow.
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Aug 24, 2016 02:32
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Poodge posted:" Oh babei lets make a nice fugg. " That's actually my personal opinion and view as well
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Aug 25, 2016 21:51
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One of my biggest regrets is not regging back when I first discovered SA in 2001 I seriously debated making that anonymous
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Aug 31, 2016 20:36
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Putty posted:2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar Best part is you can just check his post history to make sure it's legit! I would like to see that. What a sight that would be, eh goons? a 2006 with one post in his entire history? Gosh!
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Aug 31, 2016 23:38
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H.H posted:dog problems I understand where you're coming from. Last year there was a ton of drama in my family regarding a cat and I briefly considered drastic measures to try to solve things (though I wasn't going to try to kill the cat, that's insane) I have two adult sisters with their own families. Sister A and her family (husband and teenage daughter) moved into my mom's basement while they sold their old place and saved for a new one. Mom's basement is really more of a free standing condo with it's own kitchen and door to the outside and stuff, and my mom enjoyed the company so it was a fine arrangement for everyone. But when they moved in they brought their inside/outside cat. Sister B is allergic to cats and can't even stand to be around places they've been recently, which meant that anytime Sister B came over for holidays and such, the basement was totally off limits, and sometimes she'd even complain about being short of breath upstairs where the cat wasn't even allowed to go. Sister B was upset that Sister A, who doesn't even like cats that much, would allow her family to bring a cat over to live in the place we all celebrate holidays, effectively cordoning off half of the house in Sister B's eyes (the half with the game room, the half where we usually gather to watch football, etc). At its worst, Sister B was threatening to never come over to Mom's for holidays again which would have been a disaster, and while Sister A's family said they would never let the cat inside again, they continued to do so and even got caught a few times lying about it. Being caught in the middle of all of this, I was looking for a way to make it stop so we could have holidays together in the same house without fighting like a normal family. The plan I was half-heartedly throwing around in my head on long drives was a catnapping of sorts in which I would come over to mom's house in the night and take the cat with me. My half-baked plan was to release it in my neighborhood and feed it regularly, essentially making it an outside cat at my house. This cat was initially a stray that Sister A's family took in, gave shots, and named, so it's not like it would be woefully unprepared in a new wooded area, much less a suburban neighborhood. Fortunately Sister A found a house and moved out shortly after so the crisis sort of solved itself, but... I can definitely relate to the frustration of one animal affecting the lives of people who otherwise have no responsibility to said animal.
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Sep 1, 2016 15:32
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Putty posted:Nope! Yeah I'm the goon who was really excited for it but I gotta admit it was extremely underwhelming. e: it's the faulty regdate. I can tell people I lurked since 01 but nobody gives a poo poo because my reg date says 07. The early reg date + one post combo was what I really wanted here. ee: plus he has two posts now! Get the gently caress out of here with that poo poo!  man you're doing great
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Sep 3, 2016 18:19
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Twerkteam Pizza posted:People under 30 today are actually much more likely to be virgins than they were 50 years ago That may be true, but nowadays if you're a virgin in an era where both Tinder and Alcohol are Things That Exist, it's only because that's the path you've chosen for yourself.
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Sep 7, 2016 18:57
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Believe it or not my best friend and his wife are on that cruise right now They were also witness to a guy having a heart attack the night before that happened during one of the comedy shows, which basically proves that they're on a Haunted Cruise
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Sep 7, 2016 22:10
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null posted:Man I was like 1000 posts behind on this thread, so I kept thinking of witty replies and then I couldn't post them. Welp, that's it. While I have been keeping up with this particular thread regularly, I want to commiserate with you because that poo poo happens to me all the time
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Sep 8, 2016 01:17
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loquacius posted:First goon: yes, you were projecting a bunch of poo poo onto her, but what you're missing is that you're still doing it. Just a different set of poo poo now. People break up sometimes, and sometimes for tenuous reasons. There's no reason for you to fixate on it now, because she wasn't The One or anything dumb like that, you're just lonely and looking back with rose-tinted glasses. She's moved on, and has made clear through blocking your social media stuff that she wants nothing to do with you. Get some therapy if you think you need it, and focus on the future. loq hit the nail on the head here. As much as you projected bad poo poo onto her when you dated, you're now projecting good poo poo onto her as an ex, which is even more dangerous because she's not there to assert her own agency to counteract all the poo poo you're pretending she is in your head.
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Sep 14, 2016 17:09
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Pastry of the Year posted:One time a wrestler hosed an old lady and well, the old lady gave birth to some kind of gooey mechanical hand especially in their asses
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Sep 17, 2016 03:50
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