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Could you possibly number them or something so I don't have to guess which one someone is raging about? Sometimes it's obvious but at least in the past thread it could have been about any of them when it's just a generic "gently caress that guy". It seemed to work OK in the e/n version.
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Jul 8, 2016 15:21
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Solice Kirsk posted:Report your parents and renew your Netflix agreement so you dint miss anymore episodes of The Americans. Yeah when I was reading that my first thought was "looks like someone just started watching the Americans". That, and someone desperate to inflate their job's importance in their mind. In my experience probably 95+% jobs "with clearance" are pretty mundane and highly unlikely to have access to anything interesting enough to spies. Even the cafeteria workers at research labs have (limited) clearance. Sounds like mom asked her computer janitor son how lunch was too many times and decided she was trying to access his super secret important knowledge of how much his lab/whatever spent on a hammer last quarter. Like do you really think they sent agents to start a family in america in the off chance that maybe 20-30 years down the road their son may or may not get a job with a very off chance that it will be even of remote interest to their government?
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Jul 11, 2016 06:12
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There's also the fact that you have to go through a pretty thorough interview process with family/friends for clearance so if anything was off about his family history they would have found out about it. I guess that guy got lost on his way to the stdh.txt thread, like almost every other confession ever posted.
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Jul 11, 2016 06:19
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I have a confession: I don't understand why people can't just say 'million'; instead they have to insert 'cool' in front of it almost every time. This happens more often than you'd think, and now you might notice it a lot more Because the cool people in the movies say it that way. See also: a grand/"g"s, a stack, calling 100 dollar bills "benjys" etc.
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Jul 25, 2016 15:00
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First goon: from the way you talk you'd probably still be a virgin even if you did try to lose it, if that makes you feel any better. If it gets you to sleep at night keep telling yourself you're only looking out for your own best interests and avoiding all the fake rape accusations sex-havers apparently have to deal with every day, but I think you know that's not the real reason.
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Jul 28, 2016 10:55
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If you can't even figure out the bunny ears way of tying your shoes there's no hope for you. Unless you want to be that guy wearing velcro shoes into adulthood I guess.
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Aug 1, 2016 13:30
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First guy, stop projecting so hard and get over your damsel in distress fantasy. It's not your job to save her, and if you are her friend she'll come to you for help if she needs it. Convincing other people they need your help never works. Second guy...I don't know, just don't rape or murder anyone please.
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Aug 2, 2016 10:45
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bradzilla posted:My woods That one definitely belongs in the stdh.txt thread, at least the part about him spooking them away. Chances are he just angrily stared at them from the edge of the campfire all night wishing he could join in and then went back to his tent to cry about how his super secret spot (which was probably just off a main hiking trail if people decided to camp there) is ~ruined~ by the people who have the audacity to drink beer and have fun in the woods.
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Aug 2, 2016 14:56
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I'm curious how bad Jastiger's were if these boring sadbrains ones are the ones making the cut. e: or i guess he might be sending them to the wrong place somehow yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Aug 3, 2016 |
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Aug 3, 2016 07:49
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Just get a well-paying job, bad at money goon. I use my credit cards to fuel my online poker habit and have had over 50,000 in credit card debt twice in my life but it always balances out.
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Aug 3, 2016 18:49
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Bitter Mushroom posted:how does online poker work? you can't see their faces You just play the odds more than trying to read people. Also become addicted to gambling.
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Aug 3, 2016 19:42
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Why is that second one anonymous? A lot of these are just "posts that wouldn't be out of place pretty much anywhere in this forum" but i guess some people are scared of having their opinions attached to their own account. Anyway veterans of any war don't deserve worship, but that specific action of enlisting voluntarily deserve some respect. They can still be lovely people and may not deserve respect as a person just like anyone else, but if it weren't for volunteers we'd still have to worry about drafts. Comparing our country seriously to North Korea is eye-rollingly dumb too. e: ^^ robocop = s j w word filter
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Aug 4, 2016 09:57
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To his credit he did specify "voluntarily" joining. Still an idiot though and strong odds that it's Jastiger. e: vvv yeah I always roll my eyes when random people do that "thank you for your service~" and shake their hand or start applauding random people in uniform. It's such a meaningless gesture and aside from putting a support are troops sticker on their SUV is probably the extent they are willing to go to actually support them. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Aug 4, 2016 |
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Aug 4, 2016 12:45
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Zzulu posted:I am one of the original Nazis. I was there when the party formed. I was the chief explorer of unorthodox science is mecha-hitler real?
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Aug 4, 2016 12:55
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loquacius posted:I think the idea of "all world conflicts should be decided via cage matches between world leaders or their appointed champions" is kind of interesting, It's a stupid idea for exactly the reason you mentioned. Nobody would just say "OK, here's the keys to the country we give up" after their leader goes down. Especially for ideological wars a lot of people would rather go down fighting than compromise on their beliefs. Even if you could assume every country would honor the agreement, it would mean any leader that is remotely old or old of shape in any way will never get elected and we'd leave our fates in the hands of roided up giants.
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Aug 4, 2016 14:25
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Dad cancer goon, my stepdad also had/has prostate cancer that was caught early and they put a bunch of radioactive pellets up there and it was very successful, he's basically fine now with little to no complications. I know prostate cancer is one of the bad ones you hear about but it isn't necessarily an immediate death sentence. Pegging goon just throw an ad up on craigslist, i'm sure you'd get flooded with emails by guys who are into it. also how fat are you
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Aug 5, 2016 12:25
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NVJ posted:not my nigga einfeld whats this geroge castanza cousin poo poo George wants to date his cousin because his parents are going to move out or something and he thinks that will make them stay. Something like that.
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Aug 5, 2016 13:17
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genericangst posted:and I'm pretty sure pegging is mainstream, now. It might be mainstream in the sense that most people know what it is, but it's still pretty "out there". I think most people would consider it firmly in the niche fetish category and isn't something you can just admit to without getting endless poo poo for it by other people, so I think it's reasonable to think of it as something to "confess" to.
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Aug 5, 2016 16:05
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That was a shitload of words that could be entirely replaced by "I'm an unstable sadbrains goon" and still cover all the main points. Your problems aren't unique or special, you aren't a ~psychopath~.
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Aug 7, 2016 09:41
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Bargearse posted:Camgirl guy, her entire job is to find ways to separate people like you from your money. Get a Tinder account and don't piss $500 away each month. I'm pretty sure the type of guy that falls for a camwhore is going to have a hard time finding anyone on tinder. I just can't wrap my head around expecting someone who fucks themselves on camera for a living would be "innocent" or whatever, or would ever want to meet their obsessive customers. e: i think tinder would just get him addicted to the many prostitutes that use that to find customers. I'm not sure if that's a step up or not. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 10:06 on Aug 8, 2016 |
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Aug 8, 2016 08:15
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KomodoWagon posted:I doubt it, as far as I'm aware Nirvikalpa's thing is that she never gets laid, ever Yeah, plus there's not a single mention of broken garage doors in that confession. e: or troons
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Aug 8, 2016 15:09
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I'm less concerned about whether he was right to not turn in his cousin and more that it seems like the last part is suggesting he wants to do a murder suicide to get rid of himself/the cousin. Unless he means take down legally, which probably isn't going to work if a large length of time has gone by since it actually happened. e: vvv it'd still be hard I think, because as far as most courts/people are concerned in a case where it's one guy's word against a cop's word, the cop is more likely to be given the benefit of the doubt. Still worth a shot I guess. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Aug 9, 2016 |
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Aug 9, 2016 14:46
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You're making an awful lot of assumptions based on basically nothing. I've never in my life heard that either "beat/smack the poo poo out of" implied exclusively one hit.
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Aug 9, 2016 15:53
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loquacius posted:No, I was saying that "beat" means a lot of hits and "smack" doesn't necessarily Yeah but in your first post you said it definitively, like one always means once and one always means a lot. It doesn't matter whether it was 1 or 50 times in terms of wrongness but like I said you seem to be giving him a lot of credit based on semantics that not a lot of people would agree with.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:00
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Dating a "sociopath" goon: jesus christ stop with the melodrama. I don't think you're fake, I just think your story isn't interesting to anyone but you.
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Aug 10, 2016 06:40
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H.H posted:FYI I will not be posting any more "shut the gently caress up..." confessions. Good, now do the same for the ones that are just "  my life is poo poo im going to kill myself i'm so depressed" etc. Having the e/n version running concurrently helped with this last time but they are starting to pile up the past couple days. They aren't even confessions, they are clearly just getting drunk and vomiting up their feelings without having to feel the guilt once they sober up because of the anonymity. We shouldn't encourage that, partially because it's not helpful to them but more because they are just boring to read.
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Aug 10, 2016 15:22
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I've always been of the stance that I don't care or want to know how you wipe, as long as you get the job done. If you have skidmarks in your underwear every day and/or have anything close to a poo poo-like odor around you outside of the bathroom, you are not getting the job done and need to consider alternative methods.
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Aug 10, 2016 19:49
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I think HH should definitely have some kind of filter in what he posts because just posting e verything obviously encourages the poo poo we don't want to read to be sent in, but probating him for his bad rules is stupid. Maybe a 6 hour probation to get the point across, but 3 days?
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Aug 11, 2016 16:00
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VanSandman posted:H.H is a loving idiot if he won't curate the confessions.... but there probably aren't enough good ones to have a whole rolling thread about them. IDK shits hosed. About half of them seem to be garbage that nobody wants to read. If he just did one confession per post instead of 2 it'd still be updated just as much. Probably a good third of them or so never get responded to at all.
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Aug 11, 2016 17:22
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Jastiger posted:Didn't H.H. like two posts later say he was gonna start curating them anyways and he gets probed on top of that just lol. Not really, he just said he'd stop posting the ones that just said "shut the gently caress up _____".
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Aug 11, 2016 18:41
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You absolutely should give an honest review of a person if they put you down as a reference. That's not the bad part, everything the guy said is likely true and of great interest to the employer. However, you also have the obligation to say "I like you, but I can't give a good reference for you in good faith" if someone asks and you can't.
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Aug 12, 2016 16:30
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Motherfucker posted:I don't think its cool to demand someone lie for you, but like, if they ask 'hey could you give a positive reference' and you're like 'SURE FRIEND' and than don't do that maybe you're a shitsoul. That's what I was saying - if you don't think you can provide a good one, just say so. If he's clean now surely he'd understand that he hosed a lot of friends over as a result of his problem. References lose their meaning if you're supposed to say "yeah sure hire that guy" no matter what because of some ~friend code~ or something. You should only be asking people for references that you know have a positive view of your skills and personality, not some random friends. That'd be OK when you're looking for a publix bagger job at 16 because you won't have anybody else, but as an adult you should know you can't count on a 100% positive review based just on your friendship. One of my closer friends applied for a job with the DOD and I got interviewed and I told them the truth, including the unsavory bits of them seeming to have a drinking problem etc (and I mentioned if they asked about it I'd have to disclose it and they were ok with it). They still got the job. I'd even argue lying for your friends on references is just setting them up for failure. Tell the truth or don't agree to be a reference.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:02
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Zorodius posted:thanks for defending the Universal Integrity of the Reference System. Your service will be rewarded in another life. In this one, however, the usual custom is not to poo poo on someone if you've willingly agreed to be a reference. It's like you people are intentionally ignoring the part where I repeatedly say you should warn them if you don't think you can give a 100% good reference.
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Aug 12, 2016 18:07
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That second one sounds like someone who interned at a semi-important company and has an extremely inflated view of their role in the company. I mean, if you can go from that job and the only thing you can find is a bagger job, it mustn't have been so great. Nobody's impressed, people throw each other under the bus at work all the time. Sharing the blame is silly if you can blame a scapegoat, you just were the first one to take initiative and were rewarded for it as you often will be when you're the first to act. You shouldn't feel bad for what you did to your coworker, but you should feel bad that you're apparently bad at your job and just made a target out of yourself, and sooner or later the one being thrown under the bus will inevitably be you.
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Aug 13, 2016 13:47
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I'd miss them if they were anywhere close to realistic, which none of the ones in the past have been.
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Aug 13, 2016 14:23
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You could move to a literal paradise and still be depressed if you don't address what is making you depressed in the first place. Your problems will always follow you. Moving somewhere new is never a cure for depression and should never be suggested as one. e: unless where you live is the only source of your depression, but that is probably not often/ever the case. It seems like a common story where someone from a small town keeps thinking "if only I could get out of this town my life would be great" and they move to the "big city" and surprise, life still sucks. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Aug 13, 2016 |
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Aug 13, 2016 15:41
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why not just talk about it like adults instead of doing some weird ritual to get access to the butthole?
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Aug 13, 2016 19:05
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Pegging goon, if you wanted to be "dominated" that's something you need to ease into. You don't just jump to "I want you to ram my rear end in a top hat with a dildo", you see if she'd be open to any of that kind of stuff at all first. Despite what the goon said earlier in the thread about it being "mainstream" now, the way your girlfriend reacted is probably how a majority of women would.
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Aug 14, 2016 09:06
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Motherfucker posted:Dear corpse goon, I'd have punched you in the face. Also how the gently caress did that even happen, like, I've been to some middle school parties but nobody ever loving died, some people got hosed up but like, if there was a corpse there would be no window of opportunity to grope it ever... My first assumption was that it never happened, but I've been to college parties where people could have died (i.e. choking on their own puke) so it's not out of the realm of possibility. But that is a fairly loud way to die and would likely wake someone up before you oculd get your grope on. Also how did no one wake up while he was on the phone to 911? My theory is he did grope an unconscious girl but fabricated the death part to spice it up and be extra 
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Aug 15, 2016 12:04
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That Trump one just sounds like anti-trump fanfiction. I'm pretty sure anyone working at that level of politics wouldn't hide it on their resume, and he seems to alternate between only seeing Trump occasionally (a dozen times over the course of a campaign doesn't seem like a whole lot) to knowing all the personal details that would surely be highly guarded, like needing to wear diapers. These fake confession writers need to learn when to exercise some restraint.
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Aug 16, 2016 08:03
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