Total War: Warhammer - We let the intern name this game

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Total War: Warhammer - We let the intern name this game

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

my dad posted:

Counterpoint: Sigvald.

Okay yes Sigvald is the exception that proves the rule.

E: But that's because how could you possibly go wrong with a wandering Swedish cross between a JoJo and He-Man on an endless road-trip to do whatever the gently caress he feels like?

# ¿ Dec 26, 2016 14:26

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 08:57

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kainser posted:

There are plenty of decent LL options for Chaos (where is Valkia the Bloody CA??), it's just unfortunate that GW decided to make the blandest character of them all the leader of the faction and the endboss of this game.

I'm guessing GW wouldn't let them do otherwise. GW loving LOVES Archaon. So much that he's basically the only character who got transferred over to Age of Sigmar where he's still the super 'awesome' big bad who also hates the gods but does everything they tell him to.

Archaon: The Poochy of the Old World.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2016 15:28

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Nanomashoes posted:

The only good part of the End Times is that Grimgor starts marching east and doesn't stop until he hits Japan and along the way he destroys chaos so hard they leave the east forever.

Then they write Archaon killing him easily to avenge what they had to retcon, because in the old Storm of Chaos Grimgor just punched him the gently caress out, declared he wasn't worth killing, and moonwalked off.

Which is the appropriate reaction to Archaon.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 21:01

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Yukitsu posted:

End times continues to disappoint. What a surprise.

Everything about the End Times was bad.

But the bits that were specifically GW throwing a tantrum about how the original Storm went were some of the worst.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 21:04

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The best part is the early villain was Nagash the first Necromancer and the reaction from the readers was "YES THANK gently caress SOMEONE OTHER THAN CHAOS! Maybe they won't even be that important in this!"

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 21:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Fauxtool posted:

I dont mean playstyle. I mean big tits and terribly modeled faces attracting the creepiest players.

Dark Elves.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 01:33

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Man, who would be the fighty Skaven lord? Queek?

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 02:05

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Carcer posted:

This is literally retarded.

It's Middenland, man. Where the belligerent, stupid assholes of the Empire congregate.

Makes total sense.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2017 15:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Ravenfood posted:

I kind of feel like elves should be excluded from that. It essentially makes it so that as long as you haven't lost by the time Chaos arrives, you get that flood of Amber to win without really needing to do anything.

"Elves! You're one of the strongest left and we need your help!"

"Sweet. Give us your amber and we'll save the world."

"Here, take it. ...So, uh."

"World's saved. For us."

Checks out.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 04:59

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The Lone Badger posted:

Really the biggest downside of minotaurs is that they are neither cats nor birds.

This dude knows what's what.

Catbirds are the best.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2017 23:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

RentACop posted:

Oh yeah, speaking of Dark Omen, there's a theory floating around that the "Old Friend" teaser in the upcoming DLC list is Morgan Bernhardt and/or the Grudgebringers. That would be hella baller, but unlikely

edit: comedy option Nagash we end times now

I remember when Nagash first showed up and people were like "Awesome, that guy will be a great villain and we can get away from Chaos for a bit!"

What fools we were.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2017 02:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Nanomashoes posted:

It's cool that they just keep buffing VC for some reason.

Chaos being played up as a huge apocalyptic threat but unable to stand toe to toe with other headliners in a straight fight is like the most TT accurate thing in this game.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2017 06:50

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

It says she's a Legendary Lord in the video description.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 15:23

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

toasterwarrior posted:

One thing I like about adding "real" factions like Isabella's new one instead of the green Undead is that they tend to be "stronger" on the campaign map, so you see them a lot more instead of the minor faction getting rolled by someone else. More zombies to kill.

Also I like how Isabella's start is "dunk on my idiot son before taking on the world".

Well, you know, Manny did get Vlad killed by helping the Empire get his ring away from him, in the name of vague 'one day I'll take over in his stead after my brother stops giving me wedgies' plans.

Can't imagine she's too happy about that.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 20:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

wiegieman posted:

Which is kind of foolish when you think about it, because she was a master necromancer at that point and could probably have brought him back. Any vampire can be brought back, that's why Mannfred is even around still.

Crazy with grief and his remains had already been seized by the Church of Sigmar to bury as deep as they could under as many wards as they could would be my guess.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2017 23:32

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

When your enemies can only beat you by having the pope surprise tackle you off a wall, you know you were a helluva great villain.

Vlad is one of the only guys in Warhammer with a satisfying ending.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 05:39

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kokoro Wish posted:

I didn't realize until this thread that they'd turned Vlad into monster-mash instead of the Bella Lugosi motherfucker I remembered him as.

They did this to all the Von Carsteins. GW thought they couldn't be taken seriously if they were all Draculas, hence why Manfred shaved off his widow's peak, started wearing a lovely iron clamshell, and tries to talk like Batman with throat cancer in an embarrassing attempt to look less like a total weakling.

GW is not smart people.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 05:58

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

At least Isabella looks appropriately fancy.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 06:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Lassitude posted:

I WARNED YOU ABOUT ~~WITCH HUNTERS~~ THEOGANISTS BRO!!!!

Actually quite accurate to what happened.

Even falling down many stairs

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 07:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Panfilo posted:

Why do vampires need to give these epic speeches to their undead minions? I thought they weren't even sentient. Zombies really getting all psyched up that Ghost is giving some speech?

They went to all the trouble of getting properly dressed up and ready for war, and you expect them NOT to give a speech to a captive audience?

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 17:33

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I dont know posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60WQUG3XW3M

Official Brettonia trailer is out.

Edit: And steam page
http://store.steampowered.com/app/534330/

This is interesting, the blessing can be permanently gained or lost depending on a battles outcomes.

The Knight's Vow sounds really goddamn cool read aloud over this game.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 17:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

peer posted:

Ahaha that grail reliquae dropkick

Oh my god I just noticed that.

This is the best game.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 18:02

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

wiegieman posted:

That's literally the point of Bretonnia: Arthurian stereotypes writ large. Le Morte d'Arthur was a French work, after all.

I like where they eventually settled, where the Knights are for the most part doing their best but don't understand at all how lovely everything is for the peasants, and where on paper everyone follows incredibly strict social roles that they never overstep, while in practice the entire thing relies on a thousand exceptions and everyone looking the other way all the time.

Bretonnia owns.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 21:12

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

wiegieman posted:

One of the example characters from WFRP second edition is a female Bretonnian knight who stole her father's armor to go gallivanting and maintains the paper-thin fiction of being a guy with really great hair.

There's a reason the fashion for knights in Bretonnia has been being clean-shaven for centuries.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 22:42

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Cythereal posted:

These are old-school undead. Running water tends to destroy them.

That's really only the vampires themselves.

And only some of them.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 14:02

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Fauxtool posted:

do the lizardmen even know the master plan beyond the first step of kill the races not part of the master plan?

Not one bit.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:04

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The Lizardmen basically have no idea what they're doing, but know that SOMETHING needs doing and it's incredibly important, so they try to figure it out.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:20

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

verbal enema posted:

Where is a good place to read all the warhams lore online. I keep finding awful wikis

I'd tell you if I knew, I just picked it up by running the 2nd edition of the RPG a lot and having friends who were into the wargame.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:32

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Fauxtool posted:

It's pretty cool how all this renewed interest in WFB will result in almost no sales for GW considering several of their armies are going out of print and the game as shown in total war does not exist anymore.

GW doesnt even sell tomb kings anymore

It's okay, though.

The people who like Space Pauldron Men apparently buy the other dumb pauldron men and they're the only ones GW cares about.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

wiegieman posted:

"You should try Age of Sigmar", said GW as everyone got interested in the setting that's actually good. Nobody wants to fight over the BloodSlaughter Peaks, they want poofy sleeves.

40k players are apparently pretty into their dumb Age of Sigmar stuff, now.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 03:53

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Cythereal posted:

Fantasy players liked End Times at first, too. People only started to sour on End Times when it became apparent that Chaos, not Nagash, was the big evil threat.

No, I mean specifically, people who play 40k are getting into Age of Sigmar and that's all GW cares about.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 04:22

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Fangz posted:

There's no real downsides. If you don't actually attack them then there's not that much diplomatic benefit, though. If you peace out later it hurts your trustworthiness rating.

Also if they are somehow friendly with your neighbours they can ask one of them to join the war if they didn't like you. Even orcs can did this... Somehow.

I imagine it isn't hard to convince orcs to join a war, just hard to convince them not to attack both sides, or to stop eventually.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 14:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I mean just about the only group most people wouldn't willingly ally with is Chaos, and that's why Chaos has a bunch of guys devoted to tricking and deceiving people into helping them out anyway, so they can still show up with anyone.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 17:00

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

What's kinda funny is if you read what little fluff he had, Finubar was actually a pretty cool guy. An explorer and sailor originally sent to go gawk at the mud huts of the humans, he instead found the Empire and others had developed and argued for greater involvement and alliance with them. He was partly behind the elven move to found the colleges of magic and helped solidify elf support for the Empire when Magnus the Pious reunited the place a couple centuries before Total Warhams. I'm kinda not sure why they never did anything with the guy.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 20:07

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kaza42 posted:

All Elves had Always Strike First. The High Elf special ability was to fight in one extra rank than normal. Dark Elves had the ability to reroll 1s to wound in melee. Wood Elves had both, but only in forest terrain. Also, for whatever reason Chaos Warriors had Initiative 5, the same as elves, so they'd hit at the same time as an elf with a great weapon.

I think it was supposed to represent that Warriors are insanely well trained and experienced fighters who don't hesitate in the slightest.

I hate Chaos for a lot of reasons, but the whole 'silent, looming, extremely skilled hellviking' thing was always pretty neat.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 21:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

vintagepurple posted:

That was the weirdest thing about tabletop elves. The basic dudes have more armour than greatswords but their head-to-toe plate and scalemail got a 6+ save from it while an imperial greatsword with a floppy hat and a breastplate got 4+.

That hat is an obviously vital defensive fixture.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 23:16

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kainser posted:

I'm curious if they'll have some demographics mechanic for the High Elves since the fact that they replenish so slowly is a pretty big part of their lore IIRC.

Apparently it was always a setting thing that there are actually way more Dark Elves than High Elves, which makes no goddamn sense given the Dark Elves are run by a coalition between a murder cult and absolutely not slaanesh worshipers we swear.

When your society has regular 'hunt and kill whoever you wish this night' holidays I'm not sure what that does for your population.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 23:26

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Yukitsu posted:

Because he's an actual politician that's good at pushing papers whereas the leaders of every other faction got there by being able to bench press the largest ox.

Then how do you explain Karl 'I can keep the Holy Roman Not Empire together in the face of Sigmarite protestants' Franz.

Oh right, the hammer.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 06:25

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Ze Pollack posted:

The elves figure it's okay to teach this to humans because they don't have the time to achieve either truly PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER or becoming anywhere near as nuts as an elf before their short-rear end lifespan kills them.

I imagine a lot of it also has to do with the fact that the last human to get unfettered access to elf magic was Nagash, and he invented a school of sorcery the elves couldn't even imagine, still don't understand, and that has repeatedly threatened all of creation.

I remember Teclis's exact words were 'We will teach them enough to save themselves, but nothing that can blow up the world.'

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 14:21

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 08:57

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

vintagepurple posted:

To be fair, Nagash learned dark magic, not high magic.

Yeah, imagine how much worse things would've been if he hadn't had to settle for lovely off-brand Dark Elf sorcery.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2017 14:49

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