Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

«‹›17 »

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

wrong thread lol

zoux fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Feb 24, 2020

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 19:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 13, 2024 22:06

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

It is my opinion that Klingons have one penis.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 19:26

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

ashpanash posted:

The utopian Federation in TOS doesn't even let women be Starship captains.

Yeah I didn't want to start this fight in this thread so please ignore!! There's too many Trek threads!

The Bloop posted:

between them

Whomsoever holds the Kok of Kahless shall be emperor

THis fight however :clint:

(That's a di'q)

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 19:33

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Well, they did that before the onset of multi-cellular life. We can't hybridize with species on this planet, much less ones on planets thousands of light years away.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 20:28

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

I'm just saying, it should be orders of magnitude easier to hybridize like a human and an alligator than a human and a Klingon.

Even "seeding DNA" on planets wouldn't guarantee, or even make it likely, that humanoid sentients would arise. Our most respected evolutionary biologists don't even believe that would be the likliest outcome if you rewound Earth itself to that primordial soup

The reason that aliens are all humanoids with weird foreheads, minus like the Tholians and Horta etc, is budgetary reasons and practical effect limitations of a low-budget 1960s sci fi network show, so I wish that they'd stop trying to figure out canon reasons for why old Klingons look like Ming the Merciless. As I recall we never saw a Tholian on screen until ENT and a Horta was a dude with some colorful carpet thrown over him.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 20:54

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Sash! posted:

I've always assumed that the Non Changelings didn't just seed life, but had an active hand in ensuring that varied but biologically compatible life arose. Like that RNA is secretly an artificial construct functioning as a nanomachine to make sure at least one species arose on every planet capable of interbreeding.

"This is not part of a natural design, captain. This is part of an algorithm coded at the molecular level."
"An algorithm? Are you saying that these DNA fragments are elements in some kind of computer program?"
"I know how it sounds, but there's no way this could be a random formation. This is definitely part of a program."
"This fragment has been part of every DNA strand on Earth since life began there and the other fragments are just as old. Someone must've written this program over four billion years ago."
"So�four billion years ago someone scattered this genetic material into the primordial soup of at least 19 different planets across the galaxy?"
"The genetic information must have been incorporated into the earliest lifeforms on these planets and then passed down through each generation."
"But why would anyone do this in the first place?"
"And what was this program designed to do?"
"Well, we couldn't know that until we assembled the entire program and ran it. We've tried all of the DNA material in the Federation computer but we haven't been able to come up with any compatible proteins."
"Then, they must be from worlds outside the Federation."
- La Forge, Picard, Crusher, and Data

That's specifically what's said, I dunno enough about DNA to say if that gibes with your head canon

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 21:34

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

marktheando posted:

I mean you would have more in common genetically with a tree than with anything extraterrestrial.

My ent-wife....

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 21:36

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Imagine being from the species of that dude on Rura Penthe with dick knees

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 21:59

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

THere are three explanations for the Klingon discrepancy

Roddenberry, when asked about it, said that the Klingons in TOS did have weird foreheads we just needed to use our imaginations.

Worf said "we don't talk about it with outsiders"

ENT explained it with the Klingons trying to use the Khan virus to make supersoldiers which led to problems that made some of the Klingons who used it/were infected by it look more human, which actually kind of makes sense. As far as ST retcons go, it works alright.

IDK what the gently caress is up with Disco Klingons, but Picard explained the difference between forehead Romulans and normal forehead Romulans as a regional phenotypical difference, similar to epicanthic folds or melanin skin concentrations in humans.

The first Bajoran made a stink face despite their mother's warnings and the bridge of their noses got stuck like that.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:12

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Falathrim posted:

I mean, the obvious answer is that Star Trek does biology poorly and we should leave it at that.

If we decide to go all-in, this part suggests that whatever this "fragment" is can be found on every single "DNA strand", or chromosome, that's ever existed. This fragment would have to be pretty lengthy in order to do anything mechanistically, but bacteria don't have a lot of extra space between genes on their chromosomes. Whatever it is, it's likely encoded within a gene as a result. Since changing gene sequence will change gene function, the fragment is probably in a "universally conserved" gene. In bacteria, you could place the fragment in a ribosomal RNA gene to stick to the "every DNA strand" rule and not break everything.

This doesn't work for eukaryotes, though. Humans have ribosomal RNA genes on some but not all of our chromosomes, so the claim that this sequence is in "every DNA strand" falls completely apart. The claim also completely ignores the existence of plasmids. There are other universally conserved genes but none of them are on every eukaryotic chromosome or bacterial genome.

So, uhh. Even when we go all-in, it falls apart really fast, so it's better to just turn your brains off and enjoy your TV shows.

Like I said before, the real answer is "network/syndicated TV budgets" so we should stop trying to square that circle and the writers of Star Treks definitely should. But Trekkies are probably the most continuity-obsessed fandom there is so everything has to make sense in-universe or people get irritated.

Like, how many plot holes and contrivances and such are created by the existence of transporters, which themselves only exist in ST because they wanted to save the cost of building a shuttle bay set.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:15

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

This just occurred to me, when and how did Qonos become reinhabitable after Praxis?

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:36

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

I've never seen Nemesis because of all the terrible things I've heard, but isn't that what hosed up the Romulans in the prime universe? I think the JJ universe is dead.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:43

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Weird, so is Picard the first canon prime universe Trek thing to actually reference the JJ universe?

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:50

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

skasion posted:

It�s the first thing to be set later in the timeline

So by default then.

bull3964 posted:

I don't know that it references it, just that the events that lead to the universe splintering off and existing happened in the Prime universe. Those events didn't retroactively change things that happened in the Prime universe any more than they changed the stuff that happened in Discovery.

It seems to me that it's very rare for movie stuff to actually affect TV stuff and vice versa, usually because the movies come after the shows end. Like, wtf why was the flagship with the most experienced and combat hardened crew in the fleet completely uninvolved in the Dominion War? Does that ever come up in Nemesis?

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 22:58

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

skasion posted:

It comes up in Insurrection with some bullshit excuse.

Yes we're in an existential war but you need to steal the Fountain of Youth from the natives of this planet for me, yet another evil Starfleet admiral muahhaha

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 23:04

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Timby posted:

Riker says the Diplomatic Corps is tied up with "Dominion negotiations."

Well they did a terrible job

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 23:14

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Yeah and then your dad gets assigned to a Galaxy class and three weeks later you get turned inside out by a trickster god entity in deep rear end space

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 01:07

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

I remember going apeshit for that combined Cardassian/Romulan fleet, big fan of Galor and D'deridex classes, me

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 04:20

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

MikeJF posted:

During DS9 we saw the Second, Fifth and Ninth fleets, and it was established were at least ten battle fleets, so.

Or it�s the old pig numbering trick...

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 14:01

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

The Bloop posted:

The forensic holography sequence is baller and worth whatever else is going on

Computer, make this a metal table

:stare:

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 16:26

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Why are we going to evolve back into catfish men is my question

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 17:04

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

bull3964 posted:

The best part about "Timescape" was the twist about the intent of the Romulans. The main characters think it was an attack with a boarding party when it turns out that the Enterprise was rendering assistance and any aggression that appeared to be happening was due to the black hole aliens.

It's this because, while horrifying to think about our beloved Beverly getting disruptored, everyone's expression and reactions look like he's just hosing off a muddy dog in his back yard (except Troi)

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 21:40

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 22:22

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

skasion posted:

�Wrap your tool before we all loving die�. Malthusian catastrophe futures were still a big thing in the 60s, plenty of sci-fi from the time deals with it (Stand on Zanzibar comes to mind) and Paul Ehrlich was preaching that it was just around the corner IRL

I would say that they are still a big thing

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 22:31

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/colintrevorrow/status/1232390966927122432

Uh oh

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 15:40

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Wasn't there some VOY bad guys who were evolved dinosaurs

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 15:58

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

skasion posted:

This can�t be right, Picard is the crusty old scientist who learns to tolerate small children. The snide gunman who dies without accomplishing anything should be Worf

"I am alive as you start to eat me, this is without honor!"

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 17:02

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Snow Cone Capone posted:

That's actually how it worked in the first Jurassic Park haha

Or didn't work, as the dinos just started eating lima beans

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 17:26

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Snow Cone Capone posted:

Is that what it was? I'm kind of fuzzy but I thought the explanation was "we spliced in so much external DNA that who fuckin' knows what they're biologically capable of"

Maybe that was the explanation for how they were breeding?

In the epilogue it's heavily implied some dinos escaped to the mainland and that they were grazing on plants with high lysene content. It's never followed up on in the Lost World because Crichton was never going to write a sequel to JP until the movie blew up. The Lost World is the first book I ever read where I could tell it was rushed out and written with a movie already in mind.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 17:48

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Snow Cone Capone posted:

And then they changed a bunch of it for the movie anyway

Yeah it hosed me up that there were like 30 raptors in the JP book instead of three in the movie. Also no rocket launcher tranqs :eng99:

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 18:08

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

marktheando posted:

I mean yeah obviously, I was more questioning why they went so far away. Must have travelled past a billion earth like planets to get to the delta quadrant.

Gotta get away from Ohio

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 18:40

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Dog_Meat posted:

That's... a good point

I mean that's exactly what happened, they shot it and the VFX people were like, well we can't have it vaporizing her in the titties so I guess romulan disruptors have an extremely dire ballistics drop

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 19:59

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

General Battuta posted:

Is there any canonical difference between phasers and disruptors or does Starfleet just have strong branding on what's basically the same deal?

e: If a Starfleet officer picks up a Romulan weapon, is it now a phaser?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpHq0KdNrZE

tldw: phasers are good guy lasers because they can do non killing things, disruptors are bad guy lasers because they cannot

And then there's the Varon-T type disruptor, which is the baddest guy lazer

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 20:31

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

How is it even a question, if he was just Weyoun alone he'd be in the top five but add in Brunt and Shran....it's no contest.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 04:18

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Kibbles n Shits posted:

Seeing as how Starfleet phasers' power settings run the gamut from "slightly singed uniform" to "demolish half a building" I can imagine that it would be quite difficult to tune in the correct setting under stress and accidentally blow a hole in your ship. Considering how its UI is just like three buttons and a row of LED lights, you either have to adjust it with extreme precision, or spend 5 minutes clicking the plus or minus button, depending on how granular the adjustment is.

Also I think way too much about this kind of stuff.

Set phasers to �peel dudes skin off his face and the explode his exposed fleshy skull�

I'd like to know how phased plasma is supposed to stun a being, exactly.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 06:44

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

I mean like the warp drive and holodeck, they work exactly the way the plot needs them to

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 06:57

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/JucheMane/status/1233071637517471745

Put that Borg cube in the drat left field bleachers

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 17:53

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Much as B5 was "not quite there" for huge CGI space battles and the prequels were not quite there for fully CGIed out sets and characters, I think we're not quite there for digitized dead actors (we may never be because of the uncanny valley)

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 18:05

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

MikeJF posted:

I've got that Enterprise! It's a really nice little thing for the price.

Are those the old micromachines ones? I had a bunch of those when I was a kid. I have no sense of scale of that pic

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 19:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 13, 2024 22:06

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

General Battuta posted:

Thread inspired me to rewatch "Night Terrors." I was surprised it wasn't a Brannon Braga episode.

Man I love all these episodes where the Enterprise checks up on some other Starfleet ship or outpost where everyone's gone insane and murdered each other/devolved into bugs/spontaneously combusted/suffered an unimaginable and permanent fate. Imagine how it is for the rest of Starfleet's explorers. You're on the USS $oberthName, it's like 90 years old, no holodecks, antimatter injectors jammed open, you hit an isospatial torque sphincter or an alien brain probe and it's like the lost scenes from Event Horizon. You murder your roommate with a protoplaser. The captain vents warp coolant through the whole ship. Your skin falls off.

A couple days post mortem the Enterprise-D rolls up in a cloud of weed and cetacean byproducts. Picard makes a concerned face. "What's up with this poo poo Data" " Difficult to say, sir, it's pretty hosed up" "Very well" and forty minutes and a B-plot later they're tearing off to Starbase 40214 for a Lwaxana episode. Different worlds.

Buddy if you ain't in the main cast...

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 20:06

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

«‹›17 »