Is there anything sexier than eye contact

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Is there anything sexier than eye contact

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misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

When our eyeballs touch it gives me a tingle.

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:00

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# ? May 1, 2024 07:00

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

as we parted ways she put her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet, and then she lovingly poked at my eyeballs, sensuously gouging and fondling them and causing my eyes to well up with tears, and only after several minutes did she stop, quietly whispering goodbye.

It was many months later that i got over my heartbreak at losing her, and several years more before i regained my sight.

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:12

deep dish peat moss

I didn't even have to look at her, I could feel her eyes all over me... rolling across my back and scratching me behind the ear.

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:33

City of Glompton

Try new Sexeye© eyedrops, for moist, sensual eyes your lover can't resist!

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:45

City of Glompton

(unsurprisingly, the "warming" line of Sexeye© eyedrops was an unmitigated disaster)

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:47

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

I love it when my dog licks my (eye) balls.

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:57

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

when our navels align laterally, i can feel it

# ? Jul 13, 2016 21:40

Ein cooler Typ: by FactsAreUseless

boob contact

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# ? Jul 13, 2016 21:49

City of Glompton

please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting them on a peeled grape if you need practice.

City of Glompton fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Jul 14, 2016

# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:05

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

City of Glompton posted:

please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting then on a peeled grape if you need practice.

It doesn't feel as good... And I'm not sure they've got my size!

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:10

December Octopodes: Christmas is coming
the squid is getting fat!

her eyes were bigger than her stomach, and I was in trouble

# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:15

bean mom

she checked herself; it was time to wreck

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# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:23

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

City of Glompton posted:

please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting then on a peeled grape if you need practice.

# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:45

I Was The Fury: Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

If your vision lasts for more than four hours, please see your doctor and let him know the new glasses work wonderfully and that you appreciate the work he has done.

# ? Jul 13, 2016 23:58

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"I'll keep my eyes peeled," she purred sexily while shuffling through the drawer for the peeler.

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:05

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Now Trending:
Brazilian Eyebrow Waxing.
Nobody likes to eat a bush.

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:07

Piso Mojado

motorcycles. motorcycles are sexier

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:18

Robot Made of Meat

Smiles. Eye contact and great smiles are heart-melting. And knee-melting.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:20

Piso Mojado

who needs eye contact when your face is completely hidden behind your custom made dura-dura!! cat ears motorcycle helmet

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:20

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Piso Mojado posted:

who needs eye contact when your face is completely hidden behind your custom made dura-dura!! cat ears motorcycle helmet

Sounds very sexy. I would put my corneas all over that helmet.

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:26

Piso Mojado

me: (slight eye cotact) "This baby here is a replica of Yamagata's T-461 from the blockbuster movie Akira. Need a lift?"

girl: *faints*

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:43

Piso Mojado

I suspect many byobs might struggle with making eye contact with the opposite sex. One trick for this is to look just slightly above their eyes and imagine a really funny thread on their foreheads.

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:48

Piso Mojado

(leaning in for a kiss) "goldmine, bithc"

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:52

bean mom

Piso Mojado posted:

(leaning in for a kiss) "goldmine, bithc"

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# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:53

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

the first time I made out with a girl, I came away with her contact lens on my eye. lol

# ? Jul 14, 2016 01:59

Piso Mojado

City of Glompton posted:

please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting then on a peeled grape if you need practice.

lol

# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:01

Macnult

I offered my shoulder to cry on but yuck I hate getting tears in my hair.

# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:06

bean mom

don't get pink eye; avoid the stink eye

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# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:07

super mario batali: Dice-a the Mushroom

sex

# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:24

Robot Made of Meat

My mom got contacts for her eyes very early on. She had the actual glass ones, and she'd regularly drop them on the bathroom floor. As I was the one waiting for her to finally get out of there so I could get ready for school, I'd always be recruited to help her find it without scratching or breaking it.

So, no. Contacts are not sexy!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:28

bean mom

Robot Made of Meat posted:

My mom got contacts for her eyes very early on. She had the actual glass ones, and she'd regularly drop them on the bathroom floor. As I was the one waiting for her to finally get out of there so I could get ready for school, I'd always be recruited to help her find it without scratching or breaking it.

So, no. Contacts are not sexy!

sure its not sexy if your mom does it

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# ? Jul 14, 2016 02:28

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

City of Glompton posted:

please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting then on a peeled grape if you need practice.

Piso Mojado posted:

who needs eye contact when your face is completely hidden behind your custom made dura-dura!! cat ears motorcycle helmet

Piso Mojado posted:

me: (slight eye cotact) "This baby here is a replica of Yamagata's T-461 from the blockbuster movie Akira. Need a lift?"

girl: *faints*

# ? Jul 14, 2016 03:40

alnilam

lol

# ? Jul 14, 2016 13:18

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

She undressed me with her eyes. Her left orb shot out of the socket and BAM! my belt was loosened! Then her right eye ripped off my shirt with a flourish of buttons and tattered cloth. My shoes were next, their laces craftily undone with those strange, terrible eyes of hers. I can still hear the sound they made when they scooped my shoes off my feet...

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 14, 2016 13:40

MrWillsauce

always wear protection when engaging in eye contact

# ? Jul 14, 2016 14:58

alnilam

Tim Cook is on stage, announcing apple's latest product. "Introducing... the iContact!" The audience gasps, the name offends their sensibilities so. Apple gets called in for a dog and pony show of a congressional inquiry led by prudish types over the "gaffe" of their product name being a homophone of a sexual act, but as they say no publicity is bad publicity and sales surge among millenials.

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