"The Hollywood Remake" Soft re-boot thread.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > "The Hollywood Remake" Soft re-boot thread.

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

is anyone surprised that the new Ghostbusters movie is mediocre? almost every remake has been middling, forgettable crap that no one remembers three months after it's gone from theaters. it would be one thing if most of them were memorably horrendous, but they can't even manage that

je1 healthcare posted:

Buzzfeed's got advice for geeks, it involves giving your money to Sony. Over and over again

so it's the "Give Women Your Money" campaign, but we're paying money to a big-name hollywood movie instead of idiots online. when the highest form of left-wing social protest these days is consumerism, you know we've reached peak late-stage capitalism

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 01:14

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 02:22

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

i hope your mom smacks the poo poo out of you the next time you see her

i have dinner with my parents tomorrow, i'll request a knuckle sandwich

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 01:49

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

hollywood accounting is weird enough that a lot of movies that make a lot of money don't technically make a profit

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 02:12

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

i wish i could get angry about mediocrity

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 02:18

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

I haven't seen it and neither have you.

then why are you getting mad about it

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 02:26

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

we've learned two lessons this weekend:

1. people don't like being told they're horrible for not wanting to consume a particular bit of pop culture, regardless of how loud and nasty a small part of that population is
2. don't underestimate the staying power of a talking animal movie

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 20:43

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Sheen Sheen posted:

Any publicity=good publicity and all, yeah, but I do have to wonder if it will ultimately hurt the film in the long run--it's already become almost impossible to judge the film on its own merits because the haters have already decided that they hate it and the opposite side thinks they're sticking it to the haters or whatever by liking it no matter what.

between this and beyonce writing a tribute to the five dallas cops shot and killed, i'd like to think that this is the high water mark of pop culture consumption as a mark of good politics. but it'll probably take a hell of a lot more than that

# ¿ Jul 17, 2016 21:05

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Paladinus posted:

HAVE YOU SEEN ANGRY BIRDS?

people saw angry birds?

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 03:01

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

gilbert gottfried has a great podcast, every other episode he talks about the rumor that cesar romero liked to pull down his pants and have boy toys throw orange wedges at his bare rear end

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 03:54

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Command Ant posted:

"generously reviewed"

i read two "positive" reviews that were lukewarm and had reservations, and i imagine a lot of the positive reviews on RT are the same way, lest the critics be accused of misogyny or other thought crimes

Troy Queef posted:

that, plus while casting Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn was a good move, it looks like she didn't even try to replicate the Harley Quinn voice, which is one of the things people remember most about the character

here's a controversial idea: hire an American actress to play an American comic book villain, instead of importing one from Australia

i'll never vote for donald trump, but if he brings up how many american movie roles are played by aussies, brits etc. and how that should stop, i'll agree with him. bonus points if he brings up Rebel Wilson and points to the fact that there's no shortage of fat blond American women who can do the same thing she does

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 19:39

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

JediTalentAgent posted:

Now another question: Would this movie have done better or worse had it NOT been a Ghostbusters movie and instead been something akin to a "Ghostcorps presents... _______"

at the end of the day, it's still made by Paul Feig, and tentpoles (i loving hate that term) clearly aren't his strong point, so no

Nanomashoes posted:

A lot of people keep saying this but Sony's most consistent profits have always come from their Insurance and Financials division, which they only operate in Japan for some reason.

probably for regulatory reasons, i'd imagine. also that makes them like Konami, who make bank from Japan-only pachinko machines and not video games

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 20:06

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Germstore posted:

Is making Leslie Jones an ape a statement about racism or just plain racism? (i already know the answer)

i thought it was a Harambe joke until i noticed it was put where Leslie Jones is

# ¿ Jul 18, 2016 23:40

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

quoting for the new page:

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Retelling the same stories over and over but changing it slightly to fit the times and catch the interest of the audience is pretty much the oldest form of storytelling and not a modern Hollywood invention.

It is actually good that we're doing it with movies now instead of just letting them age and become less and less relevant because "It's a CLASSIC, just watch the original version!" Some new versions will be bad, and people who already liked the old version will always resent the new one, but it's still good that this is happening. And no, it's not proof that culture and society is dying. It's not the new generation's fault that they're more interested in things made for them than in things made for their parents and grandparents.

So where are the classic can't-miss movies over the last few years that will be remade decades down the road? The last group of Best Picture nominees that wasn't filled with the sort of treacle that Academy voters trip over their own feet to support was 2007, or whatever year No Country For Old Men won Best Picture. The last few years in particular were egregiously skewed towards movies where Hollywood itself is front and center (Argo, Birdman, that silent movie with John Goodman and the dog that's apparently so forgettable that I don't remember what it's called). And there are precious few cult classics either- the only one i can think of off the top of my head is John Wick.

It's hard to get angry about remakes and Hollywood's output in general over the last decade or so, because so much of it is middling, mediocre crap. When you're almost certain to make a lot of money off of a movie, there isn't much of a motive to make it good and memorable.

get that OUT of my face fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Jul 19, 2016

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 00:19

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Germstore posted:

Maybe each time period could create new works that reflect that time period instead of transplanting movies that are very much products of their time into a new time period and loving it up.

this is why i'm glad that the proposed Slap Shot remakes have never gotten off the ground. one of the reasons for why it's my favorite movie ever is because it's one of the best time capsules of the late 1970s rust belt

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 00:34

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Sunswipe posted:

Doesn't seem to be working though, does it? The great filmmakers have their own stories they want to tell, so we end up with remakes from the mediocre. We get poo poo like this, The Thing, Total Recall, etc that not only fail to add anything worthwhile but miss what made the original loved in the first place.

not to mention the great filmmakers are mostly old and i can't think of any young up-and-coming directors that are vying to take their place. all we've got are directors who pigeonhole themselves into certain movies like Paul Feig and Michael Bay, or directors who are profoundly unspectacular as the guy who calls himself McG

also i completely forgot that The Thing was remade. was it PG-13 like the Total Recall reboot? gotta love watering down a movie's content so it can make the most money possible, meaning that an R rating is as enviable as an NC-17

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 00:43

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

somebody else said that Angry Birds made over $300 million worldwide. i highly doubt that the new ghostbusters will make that much

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 01:33

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

there are legit reasons to hate Leslie Jones in this movie but they don't have to do with hating her because she's black

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

CineD must be leaking to this thread. The deniers are coming out of the woodwork.

but you see Ghostbusters made more money in its opening weekend than Angry Birds, and it should be on pace to make more than it domestically. furthermore *large stain in front of pants grows bigger*

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 06:16

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Sunswipe posted:

I have never heard of a single one of those shows. Were they popular? Did they do well?

the answer to both of those questions is "hell no"

http://www.thekindland.com/8-blatant-ghostbusters-ripoffs-they-weren-t-fraid-of-no-1760

the only straight-up ripoffs of Ghostbusters are the first three entries on this list, but if you've ever wondered why the animated show was called "The Real Ghostbusters" and not something like "Ghostbusters: The Animated Series," then this article will answer that question

# ¿ Jul 20, 2016 04:22

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

milo is a cocksmoking bigot and he should have been permabanned months ago

# ¿ Jul 20, 2016 07:29

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Don Tacorleone posted:

Isn't twitter the stupid company that allowed(allows?) Al Qaeda and Isis to tweet?

yes, and also people in the middle east who snitch about gay people to theocratic governments

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 05:57

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Al Cowens posted:

RuPaul is officially a poo poo lord now

for a group of people who freak out when they're misgendered, tumblrites sure do love gendered insults like "shitlord" and "fuckboy." btw "fuckboy" has its roots as a homophobic insult in early 2000s hip-hop

# ¿ Jul 23, 2016 05:47

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

hollywood is so averse to any sort of risk that they let a remake of RHPS be a network tv movie

# ¿ Jul 23, 2016 08:28

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

jump scares make me more pissed off than scared

# ¿ Jul 23, 2016 20:32

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

�There�s going to be an implosion where three or four or maybe even half a dozen of these mega-budgeted movies are going to go crashing into the ground, and that�s going to change the paradigm again.� -steven spielberg, 2013, via this article

now might be the time that he predicted, but i just can't see the paradigm shift happening

# ¿ Jul 24, 2016 08:26

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Android Bicyclist posted:

Maybe not a total paradigm shift but likely even more reboots/sequels. With movies costing more every year sticking with an existing IP guarantees an existing fan base.

that's not a paradigm shift at all, it's doubling down on a business model that's already showing signs of failure. like i said, it's not happening

# ¿ Jul 24, 2016 08:46

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

steinrokkan posted:

how about making cheaper movies

not throwing a nine digit budget at a big-name franchise movie is a sign of weakness

# ¿ Jul 24, 2016 09:13

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Microwaves Mom posted:

so whats the week 2 intake for goobusters 2016

from what i heard, it will end up somewhere between third place and fifth place in box office intake

Android Bicyclist posted:

There's been arguments saying that Hemsworth's Kevin character is a play on how women minor characters are vapid and useless. Mainly "Now you know how we feel when female characters are just eye candy in a film!' poo poo.

considering how much contempt Feig has for much of the original audience, this is probably what he was going for

# ¿ Jul 24, 2016 20:46

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

KiteAuraan posted:

I liked it as much as the original. It was a movie. I watched it. I remember nothing about it and have no feelings about it either way.

so in that sense it was the perfect modern-day movie

# ¿ Jul 25, 2016 11:57

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

remember the old Current Releases feature on the front page? the cined reviewers took so much pride in being unfunny that when g0m wrote a guest review that was actually good, one of them quit in protest

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 02:33

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Don Tacorleone posted:

http://arstechnica.com/the-multiverse/2016/07/netflix-will-stream-14-episodes-of-mystery-science-theater-3000-revival/

Patton Oswalt about to ruin MST3K too

has the walrus man quit twitter yet

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 03:08

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

that last sentence is dead-on. during the bush years, most people sneered at right-wing people who watched and liked entertainment because it jived with their politics. now the left and people who style themselves as left are doing the exact same thing, and also writing essays about it. and now every website is cranking out these essays because it's profitable

i don't give a poo poo if websites that aren't outrage bait aren't profitable, we need more of them

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 04:01

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Crowsbeak posted:

I say as long as you find it fun watch it. (well unless its got Michael Bays name on it, aka poo poo).

the problem is that there's more pop culture criticism that isn't just saying "i liked it because it was fun to watch and the characters were good." if you perceive a movie, music, or whatever else as compatible with your worldview, then that is the height of "good art"

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 04:25

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Crowsbeak posted:

I mean its fine to analyze a film, but don't over analyze it. I mean does anyone want to be like those humorless fucks at Salon?

apparently yes, because thinkpieces are everywhere

current releases ended before every website decided that imitating Thought Catalog was a good idea. it was ahead of its time in a very bad way

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 04:31

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

when you hear the outtakes from those frozen pea commercials orson welles narrated, you'll never look at him in any other way. and yes that's the basis for the "Rosebud Frozen Peas" joke in The Critic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V14PfDDwxlE

# ¿ Jul 28, 2016 05:22

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Celluloid Sam posted:

they're making a new Mary poppins with Emily blunt I think

they need to get an american actor who speaks in a godawful cockney accent like Dick Van Dyke did 50 years ago

# ¿ Jul 29, 2016 21:24

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Troy Queef posted:

apparently they're doing it, and doing that honor is going to be Lin-Manuel Miranda.

thanks, i want to die now

# ¿ Jul 30, 2016 01:50

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

i've seen ads for ben-hur on abandoned phone booths in nyc. no ads on taxis, no ads in subway stations, no ads inside subways or buses- just phone booths

also stop making movies in 3d you schmucks, it's hardly ever good

# ¿ Jul 30, 2016 21:09

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

my parents saw Hamilton before it went on broadway and they said that the actual play was better than the soundtrack, which they didn't really like either. but i'm not about to wait in a lottery for months and pay over a grand for a terrible seat in order to find that out for myself

# ¿ Jul 30, 2016 21:23

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

bongwizzard posted:

Don't worry, much like cats! and Phantom, whoever buys the rights for the off-broadway tour is going to make drat well sure that every human being on this earth has the opportunity to see that loving musical.

that's for the best, because then people who aren't part of the 0.01 percent of the population who hasn't seen it can see for sure that it sucks rear end

# ¿ Jul 30, 2016 22:58

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 02:22

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

hamilton is a cultural phenomenon in the same way that girls is- it isn't, except in the minds of cultural critics who are almost universally well-off

# ¿ Jul 31, 2016 04:16

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