CaptainSarcastic posted:

"I'm post-wall and Chad no longer wants me, so I've settled for a nice guy who I would have otherwise friendzoned."

I can figure out what most of this blather means, but what the gently caress does the bolded part translate to in normal person?

Pick posted:

Also the "I wish I had a guy like you" line is 99% used by girls to essentially ask a guy out, and how men have learned to interpret this as a negative is beyond me.

Chomp8645 posted:

Why women think they have to "fake" ask a guy out when they could just ask him out is beyond me.

i like that posted:

Carmant posted:

Interesting theory.. but maybe they just love animals

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Pictured: Nice Guy Going His Own Way

i like that posted:

Gammatron 64 posted:

Also I'm a guy and I could say that I've "friend zoned" plenty of women, because there are plenty of girls out there whose company I enjoy but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship at all

Carmant posted:

Try being ugly and then we'll talk

Space Poodle posted:

Effort? Effort!! HDU!

Pussy is supposed to literally fall out of the sky into their laps.

Srs, tho. RooshV bitched about having to wipe his own rear end to impress the ladies. For real. He resents having to wipe his own rear end.

Carmant posted:

So youre saying if I want a gf I just have to wipe my rear end more, I already wipe it a lot and take showers every day but if thats what I need to do I suppose I'll give it a shot

Mahuum Aqoha posted:

You can get laid if you're short, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

radiatinglines posted:

I'd like to see how you came to that conclusion, because the only meaning I've ever gleamed from radiohead lyrics is "thom yorke likes folk sayings"

Ex-Priest Tobin posted:

Become rich, problem solved.

A Strange Aeon posted:

anyone remember Dashboard Confessional?

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone
Making out.

Spatial posted:

They basically apply videogame logic to reality and relationships. Unsuprisingly this doesn't end well

Pick posted:

I don't normally tell this story, but I think there are some lurkers trying to learn things in this thread (don't learn social interaction from the internet, you need to go outside and learn in person!), so here's an example of something a dude did which made me unhappy. No woman I ever dated has ever done anything similar, or seemed like she would, which I think says a lot about why it's easy to lesbian-date and hard to hetero-date.

I had been seeing this guy for a short while. We were only a few dates in, but things seemed to be going all right. He seemed responsible and fair and generally like a decent sort of person. He invited me to come meet his friends at the bar (and not like a dive bar, just one of the ones where normal folk hang out), and I accepted, because I thought that this was him showing trust in me and legitimate interest in having a relationship with me. I think trust is the most important aspect of a relationship, so I assumed this was a good sign. He came and picked me up at my place, and he drove me to the bar. We're having a good chat along the way, friendly a fun. Then, once we get to the bar, he goes around the side of the car to open the door for me. It's not a necessary gesture, but I don't mind it. However, as I'm getting out of the car, he says, "I want my friends to like you, so you will keep your mouth shut."

I was considerably taken aback by this, but I did as instructed. I barely spoke the entire evening, and mostly just nodded or let him answer questions about me. I didn't feel good about it but I felt confused and was trying to work out what was going on. Once we finished up, and got back into the car, he was elated. He thought everything went great. I still wasn't speaking much, since I was processing things. He just kept blabbering and blabbering about what a great evening it had been. At some point, I realize we're taking a route I don't recognize, and I'm like, huh? And he says, "We're going back to my place ". I hadn't been to his place before, and we weren't at the point where we were having sex. He had definitely not broached the idea of going back to his place beforehand. I said, "No, I would like to go home, please."

Of course, he lost his temper immediately, and accused me of being a horrible bitch who "ruined the perfect evening" and "why would [I] gently caress up everything now?" Eventually I convinced him that I was serious and he needed to take me home. He complained the entire way back, but he did take me back to my place, and I of course did not invite him in to follow me. He sent me a string of abusive text messages all night. A few days later they were all apologetic, but then they became hostile again. None of them ever seemed to realize why I had been unhappy, though, and they rang false considering that he was clearly only apologizing because he knew I was unhappy and not because he thought he'd done anything wrong. (In fact, a few were even "I don't know what happened but--") I got periodic texts for him for about a year after that, even when I told him not to contact me any more. He's probably told plenty of people about the crazy bitch who suddenly went ice queen on him and dumped him for no reason.

Professor Shark posted:

It's like they build up the nerve to message someone and sit there holding their breath, and as soon as they give up they start ranting about how much they hate women.

i like that posted:

I see this complaint a lot about 'divorce rape'. Maybe more men should go after women with good education and job and support wage equity and all that workplace women in management stuff so should there be a divorce they would be making out with a net gain $$$

Groovelord Neato posted:

i always feel bad when a woman has to turn me down when i text for the second date or whatever cuz after they say no i say it's cool they go aww you're one of the good ones which lets me know how often guys are fragile shitheads when reacting like a normal human to rejection makes you one of the "good ones"

CarForumPoster posted:

Similar situation, a girl I was friends with for a couple years got super weird and hostile about me dating her roommate. When I first met angry friend I would've been down but she didn't seem interested so never asked her out and we became good friends. Never did quite figure out what the issue was there but me and her roommate ended on good terms after a few months when I moved away for a job.

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I think Petrarch would probably qualify.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petrarch#Laura_and_poetry

quote:

There is little definite information in Petrarch's work concerning Laura, except that she is lovely to look at, fair-haired, with a modest, dignified bearing. Laura and Petrarch had little or no personal contact. According to his "Secretum", she refused him because she was already married. He channeled his feelings into love poems that were exclamatory rather than persuasive, and wrote prose that showed his contempt for men who pursue women....

...Later in his "Letter to Posterity", Petrarch wrote: "In my younger days I struggled constantly with an overwhelming but pure love affair – my only one, and I would have struggled with it longer had not premature death, bitter but salutary for me, extinguished the cooling flames. I certainly wish I could say that I have always been entirely free from desires of the flesh, but I would be lying if I did".

Pick posted:

chroniclesss of youuungg weerrrtheeerrrr

Troposphere posted:

symbolist art is pretty nice guy in general it's all about how women are evil red haired whores who have sex with Satan and not you(unless they do have sex with you but then you get an std and die)

PallasAthene posted:

It was awkward at school for a few weeks since we had a bunch of classes together, but then we got a new girl who was Japanese, and he stopped trying to talk to me.

KomodoWagon posted:

Yup, you prevented a rape and possible long-term kidnapping/abduction or straight up murder. Pat yourself on the back goonette

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Nice guys like Jorah Mormont "the Bear" of Game of Thrones fame, he got his rear end straight-up friendxiled by his beloved Khaleesi.

Don't expect the Mother of Dragons to suddenly let you clutch her eggs just because you've been a staunch ally hanging around her constantly, blindly devoted to her cause all this time. She doesn't owe you a thing in that palatial bedroom of hers, bucko, especially not while on guard duty during her scented oil baths and royal scrubdowns..!

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Totally TWISTED posted:

But what is a "table tent"?

Moridin920 posted:

okay to be fair I spent 3+ years in the food service industry and I didn't know what a table tent was either

guess I was in the kitchen though

Groovelord Neato posted:

here's a great eliot quote (about world of warcraft):

The Gay Bean posted:

A couple of years ago I was flirting with a girl in a bar, but then she got super drunk so I backed off. Her friends tried to get her to leave and she wouldn't, so they split on her; at this point she was barely coherent, in a crowded dive bar where she knew nobody. She was going up to random dudes and dancing really dirty, and guys were taking advantage of the situation and feeling her up covertly. I saw that happen no fewer than 3 times.

Anyway, she eventually worked her way back to me, and I asked her if she was alright. She slurred something I could barely understand, and I asked her if she needed help getting home. She said she lived nearby and I offered for my friend and I to walk her home.

On our way out the door some hero girl comes and asked me, "do you know this girl?!" in this really lovely accusatory tone. I said, "no, all her friends left her, and I'm walking her home." She said, "I can't let you do that, " and then I suggested that maybe she should help the drunk girl get home if she won't let me, to which she rolled her eyes and walked away, claiming victory at saving a girl from a rapist. Drunk girl then walks off in a huff after being humiliated.

After drunk girl came back to me a few more times and kept trying to rub her rear end against me while hero girl looked on sullenly I just split and went to another bar that wasn't an awkward disaster. I heard from a bartender friend of mine that they had to scrape her off of the floor at closing time.

This is not stdh as much as it might read like it. You were probably right to do what you did, but just know that it feels like absolute poo poo to be accused of being a rapist in the middle of doing a good deed. I didn't flip out because I do understand that bad poo poo happens, but because of the situation I'm much more hesitant to help out strangers now.

Cnut the Great posted:

Being a 22-year-old male virgin is definitely something that will get you shamed by people, dude. Obviously it's not as bad as Elliott Rodgers made it out to be, because he was an insane homicidal maniac with a broken brain, but being a male virgin into your twenties is definitely something that will get you mocked by your peers, because it's weird.

generative grammer posted:

22-year old people who are interested in the sex lives of their friends, American masculinity is super homo

KomodoWagon posted:

You might be able to do an ostrich without causing it any permanent harm. I don't know if they have those in Asia. Cassowaries, maybe? But they'd just tear you to pieces.