SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

The Saurus made a post recently about his "first percentile" dick that was the best unintentional self-own I've seen in a while.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2017 06:16

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 10:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Lutha Mahtin posted:

I never follow those epic E/N sagas. But I know there are several where the divorce/breakup happens after the initial thread, and is only explained months or years later in a followup.

Yeah, I think that's the case with Zaurg too -- left the first thread hanging, then came back fairly recently to catch up, which did state that he got a divorce.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2017 10:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

syscall girl posted:

Coldly Compiled Lists, sir

I miss when PYF was named "Pedant Wasteland." It was so... true.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2017 00:10

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Grazie.

Edit: That sure was magical! No posts from OP anywhere since October of last year. I wonder how that turned out!

I'm never sure which is a better end to these sagas: the OP legitimately vanishing from the forums, or the OP vanishing from their E/N thread but continuing to post twenty times a day in threads about Legos/Amiibos/the AAA video game of the moment/(insert other nerdy white-noise topic here). Both have their own special charms.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2017 08:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

RFC2324 posted:

I was always amused by his poo poo talking about his giant dick.

I appreciated the post where he clearly didn't know how percentiles work and talked about his "first percentile" dick.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2017 04:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

All I remember about the Sex Thread kink debacle is that someone came in asking how to satisfy their cannibalism fetish in the bedroom, and someone else's advice was to lay a bunch of ham slices on your partner's naked body and eat it off of them to simulate/roleplay eating your partner. To be fair, I don't know what advice I would have given (besides "don't do anything involving a cannibalism fetish, what the poo poo"), but wow.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2017 00:36

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Spanish Manlove posted:

found it

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3512873&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=10#post410098692

then:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3512873&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=10#post410099323

ahahahaha bless you Manlove

blanlove

# ¿ Apr 11, 2017 01:34

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Panfilo posted:

Also the piece de resistance of my collection, a printer from an Incel and Christian Westinghouse Chandler's very own third grade report card!

I like to imagine Borky was buried with his printer so he could carry it to the afterlife and God could give him a really awkward hug

# ¿ Apr 12, 2017 04:40

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I Said No posted:

also lets not forget when helldump facetiously told him to draw his skull character (skullsona? w/e) sucking off tingle from zelda, he actually did it and then posted it

I had not heard this element of the Hellbastard Saga before, and it is delightful.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 10:08

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

exploded mummy posted:

too late he has a picture of his bedroom

It's a perfect combination of living-unfriendly wonkiness and complete lack of personality. Just imagine the fingerprint load on that storage unit-oid thing? Majesty.

The bathroom design reminds me of when my father repainted his bathroom in brick red, with brass hooks/towel bars/fittings, at least one of which was shaped like an eagle. That bathroom, amazing though it is, is still less of an offputting dank man-cave than Beamster's PUSSYWOWER 2000 design.

# ¿ May 3, 2017 23:52

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I feel like I would mind that bedroom, and his terrible bathroom, less if he just owned it as "this is what I like." If you're renovating and redecorating your home to your own personal taste, it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks it's tacky or you'll have to do a bunch more renovation when you sell, or whatever -- you're creating the home you want to live in, and I respect that. I just kind of lose it at this dude's insistence that he's creating a hideous home that isn't even to his own taste, including elaborate expensive fixtures he doesn't plan to use, because "resale value" and "women love powder rooms!!". We can argue about his design sense all sense all day, but his overall reasoning behind it is just... so bad.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 00:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Grandmother of Five posted:

It at least beats the goon default, which is an even split between confusing minimalist with "has nothing going for it", and bohemian with "disgusting", whenever there is the occasional thread where goons post pictures of their apartments that looks like one big walk-in janitorial closet slash av-room

Now I'm just imagining a second shot where the drawers of that wall storageoid are pulled out and it's all just Funko Pops, filed neatly by release date, except for the far left drawer, which contains a bare terrarium with the corpse of a spider in it

# ¿ May 4, 2017 02:47

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Panfilo posted:

All that bathroom needed were some bathroom rugs to keep from slipping, and a little stool for his presumed lady friends to sit to do their makeup on that low counter. I showed my wife and she liked the bathroom, particularly because it's so roomy. Why gently caress it up?

The best thing about the thread is that he has yet to give a single sensible reason for his renovation project. It's all about vague "aesthetics" and "resale value" and :females:

despite his never mentioning any concrete plans to sell the house. He compromised his floor joists for a sunken tub he's admitted he's never going to use, in a house that it doesn't seem like he plans to sell. For all I know, he got infected with some kind of brain parasite that commanded him to start loving up his house to lure its true reproductive hosts, county building inspectors and engineers that advertise on Craigslist.

# ¿ May 6, 2017 02:42

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Mammal Sauce posted:

Oddly enough, sometimes, people remodel houses for themselves. It's actually OK to spend money on your home and not just for flipping it.

Honestly, if the dude just owned it, I'd be fine with it. "This is the sweet bathroom I want to have and I plan on enjoying it" = fine, cool, it doesn't matter if our tastes align, have a great time. "This bathroom idea is OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR and will LURE FEMALES and RESALE VALUE" = noooot so much. When you start considering your tastes objective truth, you start having the potential to be objectively wrong, you know? It didn't exactly help that women disagreeing with him about what :females:

want made him start accusing them of being mutant goon pseudo-women because they were more interested in natural light and storage space than his Sunken Tub of Sexy Mystery and Panty-Dropping Powder Room or whatever.

# ¿ May 6, 2017 10:46

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I am extremely into Freakbox's weird time capsule house and its menacing electrical fixtures

# ¿ May 6, 2017 11:29

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

ISIS CURES TROONS posted:

Who was that mod that was a real creep on girl's profiles on that goon dating website? I want to say it was Louisgod, and someone made a big compilation image of him being a creeper.

Loosechanj, former mod of the Book Barn, who I believe was also an older dude.

# ¿ May 17, 2017 22:43

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Solice Kirsk posted:

I got a probation from that dude because I was making fun of GRRM in The Bad Thread....

Isn't that what that thread is about, or have I been grievously misled about the contents of the thread that published a weird porn ebook?

# ¿ May 18, 2017 00:02

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Hogge Wild posted:

unfortunately today ended a great saga

rip avs

Aw gently caress. Do we need to start an offsite for the keets thread?

# ¿ May 21, 2017 01:22

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

i believe she did

also i mixed up Powerball (taylor swift alt) with Speedball (makes real bad MS paint webcomic and did an Xcom LP with the soldiers cuddling each other for support) and got really confused

Didn't he also have at least one Tropico LP with an elaborate "wacky" subplot about the main character being transformed into a woman, because transformation webcomics guys gotta transformation webcomic? Or is there another transformation webcomic guy doing Let's Plays with fetish leak?

# ¿ May 29, 2017 06:34

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Nuebot posted:

Does anyone have a link to the medical stories thread? For the life of me I can't find it anymore. Stories about necrotic butts will never get old.

It's pretty much always on the first page of the Goon Doctor, but here you go: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3469571

# ¿ Jun 2, 2017 01:06

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Odd posted:

From the favorite avatars thread over in GBS, does anyone have any more info on this nerd? It was hilarious iirc

I don't remember this exactly, and would be grateful for anyone who found the exact quote, but as I recall, the dude was really angry about a naked (green-skinned, cadaverous) female vampire model, and when people expressed confusion about how he found this sexy at all, he compared it to how if you found pizza in the trash, it would still make you hungry for pizza. poo poo was quality

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 02:58

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Hemingway To Go! posted:

name was something like finordiquester, still posts in LP, used to have red titles about how he hates dumb-o-crats and show many signs of being highly religious.

Honestly, that dude being the kind of extremely sheltered religious kid who is both repulsed and uncontrollably aroused at the vague sight of anything resembling a sex characteristic would explain a lot about that chain of posts. But not the garbage pizza analogy.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 11:35

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Panfilo posted:

Elsa posted some sketch. Troposphere mentioned how impractical the pose was. She at some point tried to pose the same way as his illustration, and he replied that she looked hot in pajamas. And the rest is history.

Also he sent her at least one PM about having a boner over her pajama pic, because Elsa's a class fuckin' act

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 06:36

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:

Step aside presented themselves as a hardcore TERF cis lady. Picked fights and was just generally an rear end in a top hat for months. Someone on an off site figured out that they were actually some former poster, a person born male who transitioned to female. And then de-transitioned. Never heard why they de-transitioned. Anyway, someone posted a long rear end post proving it in Ladythread, the trans thread, other places. All at once, no hiding it.

Step Aside just never posted again, I think. May have been banned, idk. But for a while, they weren't banned, and didn't address the accusations, which makes it seem likely they were true.

Ozma apparently knew who Step Aside was the entire time (she said so) and people were kind of like "WTF, why did you let them pose as a cis woman when all they did is run down trans people? That whole 'de-transitioned' thing was probably relevent." I don't think Ozma ever said why. I got the impression they were friendly? Just an impression.

See, this is some honestly gross/weird Ozma poo poo that I didn't know about! Tip for Ozma haters: find actual anecdotes like this instead of just "she's ~~female on the Internet~~ a CAT LADY and FAT and PROBABLY AN SJW OR WHATEVER EQUIVALENT MONIKER IS MOST HATED BY GBS GUYS AT THE MOMENT"

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 06:06

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Cnidario posted:

Didn't kiwifarms close when their owner got doxxed to oblivion? Something having to do with his family went too far.

What I read was that the dude was a pedophile and the doxxer sent evidence of this to his mother's professional email account, possibly also to her coworkers? I felt bad for the mom, not so much for the dude.

What always got me about the CWC-gawkers, back in my own CWC-gawking days, was how goddamn willfully ignorant these people were about his degree of disability. He received his high-functioning autism diagnosis in the early-mid '80's, when "high-functioning" basically meant "verbal," and then had his condition exacerbated by non-treatment, parental neglect, and social isolation. You didn't have to have a psychology degree to see that he had/has significant emotional and developmental disability above and beyond his diagnosis, but the entire community seemed to ignore it so that they could mock him with a clear conscience, I guess? The guys who were always yelling about CWC "stealing from them" via Social Security disability "fraud" were the apex of this -- c'mon, guys, are you seriously going to tell me that CWC could go out and get a living-wage job, or could ever do so without extensive intervention that he's unlikely to ever have? How can you be that loving obsessed with a man with obvious significant developmental disability and somehow conclude he's just a lazy rear end in a top hat, besides being an rear end in a top hat yourself?

# ¿ Jun 22, 2017 23:54

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Space Crabs posted:

Actually it's a british politician (I think) that uses the pedophile accusations as an attack and has apparently done it to multiple people, sending CP to all their friends and family to trash their reputation. The site was closed to get it to stop but the guy was still ransoming the owner so he brought it back.

It initially started because the guy didn't like one of the kiwifarms threads that were dedicated to stalking him. I read this on ED though so take it with a grain of salt.

I dunno, the few times I looked at Kiwi Farms I recall seeing some authentic reference to/defense of the guy being a "lolicon" (ugh), so I have some skepticism about the ADMIN OF SCUZZ SITE IS INNOCENT AND ERNST STAVRO loving BLOFELD IS SLANDERING HIM FOR HIS TRUTH BOMBS explanation.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 04:11

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

chitoryu12 posted:

1. Yes. I don't really want to risk doxxing them by saying more.

2. I don't know, but I mentioned it to a friend of mine who knows them and she remembers him talking about it being average.

The only thing worse than dudes who humblebrag about their dicks being so big that they cause physical pain or difficulty to their partner is when those dudes turn out to have average-sized dicks and the pain/difficulty is because their partner has a medical condition (that they make All About Their Massive Dick) or they're just really lovely sex partners.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2017 00:33

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

...

... would

Girl who strips and fucks you with other girls and gives you head in public sounds like my kinda woman.

My favorite ongoing forums saga is goons eagerly taking any opening to sexually overshare

# ¿ Jul 3, 2017 06:09

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Tired of being a forums prole and looking at Goatse all day? Upgrade to Something Awful Austhread Elite^TM and get exclusive PM access to the hottest prolapse pixx from the forum's rising star of mental illness, alcoholism, and self-harm! Join now and get access to our database of hot prospects for imminent self-debasement!

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 11:09

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

du -hast posted:

Does anyone have a link to the thread that went something like a morbidly obese man took a bath with and/or bathed his kittens in it, then stepped on a kitten once getting out of the bath, crushing it to death.

There was a FYAD spinoff thread where the made fun of him about it and then his final post or something was like "Good by Mr. Buttons and PS FYAD are monsters" (might have been his custom title).

I don't have a link to the thread, but IIRC he was keeping the kitten in the bathtub because he wanted to keep it from roaming all over the place, but the kitten had gotten big enough to get out of the bathtub, and he stepped on it in the hallway before he realized it was there? Legitimately a sad and unnerving story, but on the other hand, dude, if you want to contain a cat, close a door or put up a baby gate or something.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 12:08

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

No timeline could be darker than the timeline where Shine stops working out.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2017 03:50

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

On the other hand, I totally buy Jastiger as a PM creeper. He's got that "corn-fed aw-shucks Midwestern family man" thing going on that almost always hides really alarming fetishes, unwisely shared.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 03:21

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Anne Whateley posted:

I thought Jastiger's thing was fatties, which has definitely been widely shared

Oh, right, he's the one behind all the gross-rear end GBS "I would totally gently caress Lena Dunham" threads, isn't he? (As opposed to all the other gross-rear end GBS Lena Dunham threads.)

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 03:27

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

My favorite part of the Kevin Havens saga was his having written a story about his finding a "mannequin dating agency" run by one of the members of Squeeze, who hooks him up with an occasionally-animate mannequin girlfriend at the loading dock behind a mall department store, like they were running some kind of Underground Mannequin Railroad out of a Sears or something. I think they went back to his place and drank Mountain Dew and played video games? There's a perverse charm to these Internet Guys having to combine every one of their obsessions into their fantasy lives, like the magic mannequin girlfriend wouldn't be as special if she wasn't found for him by a member of Squeeze. Does Uli's novel have the characters playing Bubsy at any point? I really hope it does.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 06:48

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Best of luck to you and your family, fnox. It's great to hear you have a better life ahead of you now.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 04:18

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Right now I'm just praying for Kelp Me!'s car

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 21:45

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

WebDog posted:

Wasn't it an ask me about being a dragon or something?

The guy was being fully open about his dragon fantasy. It was pretty fascinating to read as his alter ego beastie wasn't that crash hot.

Plus he had a complete fictional history of how space dragon lived and died and came to be in his mind.

It's where that smug dragon emote came from.

Wasn't it also something where, like, the space dragons weren't even sapient or long-lived, so he basically was talking about being a space lizard-dog? I remember he was pointing to this as proof that it wasn't just a self-aggrandizing fantasy, but honestly, if you're going to believe you were a dragon in a past life, have some self-respect and make it a self-aggrandizing fantasy. Own that poo poo.

:smaug:

remains wonderful, though.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 03:16

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Spanish Manlove posted:

Axe was and is a cool, but dorky, dude and people always give him poo poo for those drawings he did over 16 years ago. The whole point of them was to be as literally hosed up as possible, but people don't put on 2001 era glasses and instead clutch their pearls here in the dystopian teens of the twenty first century when they look at a purposefully crude drawing meant for shear shock value. Yeah sure it wasn't good, or really all that funny, but you guys seem to clearly make up your own narrative that fits a perceived story without actually looking at the big picture or God forbid: what actually happened.

I believe this about as much as I believe the dude speculating about what Yoshi's eggs smell like actually just thought it was funny

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 07:02

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Enhydra lutis was a goddamn treasure and I'm sad that they got banned.

although I have heard rumors that it was actually an alt of permabanned poster avshalom who is definitely not back and posting in this very forum

IIRC, after Avshalom's main account got permabanned, she de-mothballed Enhydra Lutris to post as herself/explain her actions, so, yeah. Absolutely brilliant gimmickposting while it lasted, though.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2017 03:01

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 10:01

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

du -hast posted:

Is this for real? I didn't know that. Does anyone have a link or any info on this?

EARTHQUAKE REFUGEES - PILED HIGH

As I recall, it was a donation drive for The Matenwa Learning Center, which is a legit and non-goon-run charity organization for education in a Haitian community? Not actually a lulzfest, unless there are elements of the story I don't know about.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2017 10:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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