- Ace of Baes
-
|
befriend the target and get him or her to eat lunch every day with you at really unhealthy restraunts all the time and convince him or her to make fiscally irresponsible decisions to increase their blood pressure
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:51
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2024 20:46
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
plant lots of large trees around the victims house and do lots of rain dances to increase chances of a thunderstorm
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:53
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
find out when the target is going to fly then look up who the pilot is and have an affair with their s.o. and reveal the affair the night before the flight so the lack of sleep will decrease his ability to not crash the plane
note: you may need to also sleep with the co pilots s.o. for maximum effectiveness
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:55
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
subliminally plant the idea of vacationing in Syria in the targets mind via a homemade tourism campaign
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:57
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
purchase an oil company and pay the target $1,000,000 to work on it
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:59
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
get the victim to join a suicide cult
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:59
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
hack into all the big screens in time square and read off the worst parts of the victims internet browser history
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 03:01
|
|
- Ace of Baes
-
|
stab the victim with an icicle, then shoot the body into space using a shady Brazilian private space firm
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 03:04
|
|
- mags
-
I am a congenital optimist.
|
get them to work for the HRC campaign and then imply to their bosses that they are about to leak damaging info
everyone in the idf must die
(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 03:04
|
|
- HighwireAct
-
Pozzo's Hat
|
commit murder, then get away with it
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 03:08
|
|
- mags
-
I am a congenital optimist.
|
everyone in the idf must die
(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 03:09
|
|
- Robot Made of Meat
-
|
Ensure that your victim lives long enough to die of old age.
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 04:16
|
|
- the unabonger
-
|
make it so the only evidence is circumstantial, then hire an excellent team of lawyers that can get you off
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 04:28
|
|
- Piso Mojado
-
|
make it so the only evidence is circumstantial, then hire an excellent team of lawyers that can get you off
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:13
|
|
- bare bottom pancakes
-
Production: Complete
|
make it so the only evidence is circumstantial, then hire an excellent team of lawyers that can get you off
im up for this one 
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:18
|
|
- Piso Mojado
-
|
join the chicago police force 
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:18
|
|
- Piso Mojado
-
|
get a Netflix documentary made about you
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:23
|
|
- yeah actually they will
-
|
Stab them with a knife made out of their own organs. It's not suspicious because they're meant to be inside anyway
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:55
|
|
- HighwireAct
-
Pozzo's Hat
|
Make sure you murder a black guy.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 06:55
|
|
- Hogge Wild
-
by FactsAreUseless
|
be rich and white and use a car
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 08:05
|
|
- Hogge Wild
-
by FactsAreUseless
|
every time your target is drinking a healthy and vitamin-rich juice knock it out of his hand
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 08:06
|
|
- Kang Wang
-
|
not knowing what murder is, because for you see, murder is a concept created by MAN.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 10:22
|
|
- misty mountaintop
-
by Hand Knit
|
Stab them with a knife made out of their own organs. It's not suspicious because they're meant to be inside anyway
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 11:16
|
|
- misty mountaintop
-
by Hand Knit
|
Commit two murders. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime (murder), you will get away with one of them. This is what is known as "double jeopardy."
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 11:18
|
|
- Luvcow
-
One day nearer spring
|
find a small smooth stone and paint the victims name on it in your own blood. Carry the stone with you everyday, maybe on a leather strap around your neck. Every night before you sleep, look at the rock and tell it to die. 100% guarantee this technique will eventually work.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 12:55
|
|
- super mario batali
-
Dice-a the Mushroom
|
Remember to murder the judge.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 13:38
|
|
- free Trapt CD
-
*~ ~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~ ~*
|
have a chance encounter with a kind old man who passes along a tidbit of wisdom that just makes you stop and think for a second, about life, and love, then arrange to have lunch with him in a park once a week, feeding the birds, gradually growing closer and learning of his tragic family history, not just getting to know him better, but slowly becoming a trusted confidante in the winter of his years. one day, buy him a birthday gift that reminds him of a treasured memory from his youth - a music box, or a potato. then, one day, when he falls and shatters a brittle bone too many, be there for him - pick him up and take him to the hospital, where, after a doubtful surgery, he is confined to a bed, misty in temperament, clearly half as alive is he had been; "he knows," you think, "he must know." still, visit, frequently, because you can't shake that feeling, bringing his favorite pretzels every so often, though he doesn't eat quite as fast or as eagerly as he used to; then, one day, you don't go, and then, you just keep missing the opportunity. one day, your phone rings. it's his carers. "it's time." you drive all the way to the hospital, breaking the speed limit along the way, all because you know, you just know, that this is your last chance - you have to make it. for him. and you do - you make it just in time, and he's there, that sweet man, clawing at the air, writhing, a shadow of himself. but he notices you, and begins to eke out some words... how it meant so much that you were there for him in those last few years, what a good person he knew you were, and how everything will turn out OK for you in the end and he knows because hey, look at him, but you can't stop yourself from crying. and then, a gasp - something clicks in his eyes. it's happening. you leap into action, reaching underneath his shoulders, picking him up, flipping him around, and executing a brutal tombstone piledriver. in the legal profession we call this a 'freebie'
~sig~
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 18:44
|
|
- treasure bear
-
|
whisper their name to the ancient well
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 18:47
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2024 20:46
|
|
- mags
-
I am a congenital optimist.
|
Give the victim really bad "how to get away with murder" advice so they are caught and get the death penalty
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 18:47
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 02:51
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
