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I got pneumonia in basic training, miraculously recovered without going to sick call, the highlight was getting up at 0400 for PT when we were in the field and during pushups constantly coughing up heaps of green poo poo out of my lungs. gently caress sick call, I wasn't getting rolled back.
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Sep 13, 2016 19:36
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once cracked a rib from vomiting so hard. food poisoning owns
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Sep 13, 2016 19:46
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I vomited so hard my intestines flew out of my mouth and I had to slurp them back in like spaghetti.
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Sep 13, 2016 20:04
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a bone to pick posted:I vomited so hard my intestines flew out of my mouth and I had to slurp them back in like spaghetti. It's actually quite useful if you're a brundlefly
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Sep 13, 2016 20:07
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Had a stomach bug and barfed and was so spent I was convinced I was literally puking chunks of my GI tract and started crying because I was gonna die until I realized the pink chunks of what I thought was meat had seeds and that I'd had like three strawberries when I'd tried to eat lunch that day.
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Sep 13, 2016 20:16
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Puked so hard from food poisoning I burst a blood vessel in my eye, we lived in the same area as the ebola nurse and my bf thought I might have ebola Goddamn breakfast casserole
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Sep 13, 2016 20:19
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One day I was so sick I died
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Sep 13, 2016 20:28
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Got so dehydrated from dysentery that I started legit tripping balls
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Sep 13, 2016 20:29
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Got heat stroke in the middle of a 9/11 rally and my handlers had to shove me into a van.
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Sep 13, 2016 20:35
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can it be a sentence fragment b/c probably "puking out my rear end in a top hat"
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Sep 13, 2016 20:37
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a bone to pick posted:Got heat stroke in the middle of a 9/11 rally and my handlers had to shove me into a van. I like the cut of your jib. I too share a disdain for hydration.
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Sep 13, 2016 20:40
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I have a cold.
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Sep 13, 2016 22:01
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Thought I had been drugged, turned out it was just an undercooked burger from a lovely bar in Chicago.
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Sep 13, 2016 22:03
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Six month round of chemo.
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Sep 13, 2016 22:10
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Poop resembled pineapple juice.
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Sep 13, 2016 22:11
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Graves disease is like taking meth daily for two years.
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Sep 13, 2016 22:21
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I was in the hospital for a week on iv antibiotics for pneumonia.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:01
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At my last job I got the shits/pukes so bad that I couldn't even get my rear end into the employee lunch room sink before splattering diarrhea everywhere.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:06
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Malaria That owned, I'm really looking forward to suffering a relapse in a random amount of time
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Sep 13, 2016 23:09
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I won the battle of the bands and on the last screaming note of the guitar solo I kick flipped off the stage to knock off the principals hat.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:11
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lol at you bitches saying you got food poisoning because you had a stomach ache, you have to go to the loving doctor if you actually have food poisoning and it takes weeks to recover
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Sep 13, 2016 23:12
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Basically don't go to Senegal and lose your antimalarials
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Sep 13, 2016 23:13
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Kickflip360
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Sep 13, 2016 23:17
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:At my last job I got the shits/pukes so bad that I couldn't even get my rear end into the employee lunch room sink before splattering diarrhea everywhere. Great username/post combo
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Sep 13, 2016 23:19
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As a child, I had a fever so bad that I thought I was trapped in a sewer and forced to solve an enormous game of Minesweeper in order to save Mario and Yoshi.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:20
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I had a kidney stone the pain of which I can only describe as someone pressing a thumb tack as hard as they can on your inner crotch area, I couldn't piss or poo poo for a couple days and when I finally did piss it was almost pure red.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:31
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Node posted:I had a kidney stone the pain of which I can only describe as someone pressing a thumb tack as hard as they can on your inner crotch area, I couldn't piss or poo poo for a couple days and when I finally did piss it was almost pure red. your face when pissin blood: 
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Sep 13, 2016 23:33
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a bone to pick posted:I vomited so hard my intestines flew out of my mouth and I had to slurp them back in like spaghetti. It's good you have such plentiful organs. My family got caught driving in a blizzard and almost sailed off a cliff, but I was so sick with honest-to-goodness influenza that I didn't care if I died.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:35
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Pneumonia made me hallucinate and nearly killed me in high school.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:37
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mdm posted:your face when pissin blood: Maybe, for the next three days I threw up every time I pissed, so I must have made that face a lot.
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Sep 13, 2016 23:42
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I generally enjoy good health, but the measles gave me such a high fever that I don't remember some of it, and then I remember sitting up in bed and vomiting on myself, all before getting the nasty red sores.
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Sep 14, 2016 00:23
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I killed a guy and it was legally not my fault.
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Sep 14, 2016 00:26
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proof of concept posted:720 tailwhip while smoking a fat blunt and flipping off my dad close thread
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Sep 14, 2016 00:56
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Motherfucker posted:I killed a guy and it was legally not my fault. Support are troops
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Sep 14, 2016 01:00
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I poo poo liquid for 30 days straight and then got a saline drip and now i want one of those for every hungover morning.
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Sep 14, 2016 01:02
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Had a fever with loopy dreams, became convinced that the plutonic ideal of triangles was a sentient being of pure intellect that visited me in the form of a bunch of brightly colored shifting angles that imposed themselves in my brain and were a bit upset with me for entering their domain unexpectedly, holding me hostage and giving me a stern talking to
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Sep 14, 2016 01:04
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I had a hypospadias repaired and the recovery was loving excruciatingly painful every time I went pee.
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Sep 14, 2016 01:19
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3 pages of diarrhea, vomit, and fever dreams. I think this thread is making me sick
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Sep 14, 2016 01:31
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I got pneumonia and was so weak I couldn't get to the phone or leave the building so I almost died
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Sep 14, 2016 01:33
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When swine flu was a thing I puked in my bed so hard that I passed out in it.
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Sep 14, 2016 01:34
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