Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

The last thread was closed by the thread owner. Not by any mods. Anyway, here, have a "food" (crossposted from the anti food-porn thread)

Ceciltron posted:

Straight from my fianc�e's grandparents' breakfast table in Acheng, Northeast China:

It's apparently "sausage made from black eggs". She says it's terrible and tastes like lead. I'm assuming it's a cousin of the terrifying century egg, one of the few Chinese dishes I can't stand.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2016 23:37

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:14

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

hello China thread

Hello, all-pro sexman

# ¿ Sep 17, 2016 04:38

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

I hope one day I can work in Good China AKA Taiwan or Hong Kong

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 07:15

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Accretionist posted:

In the last thread, people were saying that Taiwan is the current sweet spot for quality of life and work-to-pay ratio, despite (specifically) Taipei getting expensive.

JIANBING (MONEY SHOT REEL):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQxYkj191mk

God, yes, but why the hell can't anyone scramble a goddamn egg properly in the entire continent of Asia? The chinese are terrified of runny yolks. The Japanese love 'em. The koreans are busy making bad music and the rest of the world doesn't care. I just want a good, moist egg mess, and yet nobody can do this in China.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 07:43

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Marketplace, a show that does investigative journalism here in Canada on the CBC, just aired an episode on toxic children's jewelry from China. Lead in costume jewelry was only "limited" by health Canada after a scandal in the early 2000s, so what do the Chinese factories make the stuff out of now?

Cadmium. It's all made of Cadmium.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=208-irQ1Yus

Here's the show. It's pretty shocking.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 16:31

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Fojar38 posted:

the first few pages usually suck but it gets way better when the drivebys leave

I agree with this. We must undure the posts of humiliation before the thread can return to its rightful place.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 23:25

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

The Great Autismo! posted:

the China threads were cool for like 5,000 posts but now it's like the equivalent of a toddler taking a poo poo on the thread

Please, I think if you consider the historical posts made about china in other threads, this number is closer to 10,000, as these posts are naturally a part of china thread.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 23:31

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

The Great Autismo! posted:

I think it's because all of the intellectuals about China like modest Mao and sincx took their money and intellect and fled the thread for nicer threads when they saw it was getting lovely and now it's just shitposters and crazy people running things

Autismo, my friend, this is a terrible hill we have chosen to die upon.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 23:35

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Dapper_Swindler posted:

also is it true, that you can just buy a bunch of lovely jeans in the US in bulk. then go to china and sell them for double. or some poo poo like that.

This goes literally both ways.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2016 00:49

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Wait, we got moved to LAN? This is gonna be awkward.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 18:46

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

nong posted:

uber but with chinese characteristics

http://qz.com/786179/uber-china-driver-scams-ghost-drivers-are-freaking-out-passengers-and-scamming-uber-for-money/

Passengers using the ride-hailing app in several Chinese cities have reported seeing their requests picked up by drivers with creepy profile photos of zombie faces. According to Chinese news site Sixth Tone, the point of these ghostly profiles is to scare passengers into canceling the trip, so they are fined for a few yuan (less than a dollar), which goes to the driver.

Mr. Vampire 2016 viral marketing is getting weird.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 18:26

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Fojar38 posted:

i did reply

he reminds me of one of those tankies who occasionally shows up in d&d except for china instead of the ussr

Ahh, the Tankie. Somehow more repulsive than the Maoist, but not by far.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 23:03

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

caberham posted:

It slowed down a bit. Lots of people are frantically trying to offload their properties or pay lawyers crazy amount of money to expedite the transactions.

But guess what? There's 13 billion people so another wave will be here pretty soon!

1.3 Billion people trying to move to Vancouver is scary enough, Caberham!

# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 02:06

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

The Great Autismo! posted:

so my office is moving buildings. this is an amazing process.

it started last spring, when we were told we would be moving offices. we were told maybe august, maybe september, maybe november. no one seemed to know, other than the fact that we were moving. as the time got closer, we were told "we aren't sure, just wait, we will move soon".

last week, we were told we are moving this week. maybe wednesday, maybe thursday. no one was sure. finally we were told last friday. we will move on wednesday! everyone was happy and excited.

monday came and went. on monday i talked to the HR girl, i asked her if i could look at the new office, to make sure there wasn't any horrific chinglish mistakes like the last two offices we have, that have stuff like "to change the history a person to be then" plastered on the wall. she lived in australia for three years and said "don't worry, i've seen the new office, there's nothing like that, it's ok" and i was like "alright then". tuesday came and went. on tuesday we were told "please pack up your things and be ready at 1pm wednesday, the moving company will come then".

tuesday afternoon was filled with the staff, foreign and chinese, packing up everything we owned. we get to the office on wednesday, its moving day! woo! our electricity is shut off and we get there and everyone is just hanging out. we are moving across the street, to a new building connected to the four seasons. super nice building from the looks of it. we will move at 1pm.

around 12:30, we are told "maybe wait until 1:30 to 2", we said ok. around 1:30pm three chinese guys show up. they are the moving company. we have like 30 people in company and all of us have tons of books and stuff. they look around, smoke a cig, and leave. around 2pm we are waiting for the moving company, i go to the bathroom, i come back and all the foreigners are gone. i figured they went to go get a coffee or something, but they actually went across the street to our new building to move their stuff, even though they weren't supposed to. i get a message at 2:30pm from this guy rich who says "are you sure we are moving to this building? because no one knows who we are, no one seems ready for us and this place looks like a war zone", so i ask our HR girl about it and she says "it isn't ready! you are supposed to wait! we will go at 4pm today with our company boss!" so i tell rich "yo you aren't supposed to go there yet, hang tight, come back". no one comes back, i later learn they all went to a bar to drink. i joined them later, but at this point i was waiting at the office. around 3pm our HR girl says "the moving company has ran away, they will not move us today, you can have tomorrow off, everyone can have tomorrow off", I say "what, the moving company ran away?" and she says "yeah, they said it was too much work". so the moving company that we have contracted to move us, to like, do their job, that their company does, thinks we are too much work. so they won't do it. uh, ok.

around 3:10pm i get this picture from this guy andy, who had gone over to the new office.

this is two hours AFTER we were supposed to move into this building. like...this is the new office people chose to move to on wednesday the 28th at 1pm. and everyone kept looking at it and kept being like "yup, we will move on wednesday at 1pm", even up until like wednesday at noon, people were like "we will be ready to go at wednesday at 1pm", and then after 1pm came, it was "wait an hour, we will be ready at 2pm" but like, who in the world thought this would be ready in an hour?

so they told us to take today off, but come in on friday. and the entire foreign staff said "yeah we will take friday off too, no way that building is ready" and this one chinese girl was like "why would you take it off, we have to work on friday" and one guy said "LOOK AT THIS, do you think it will be ready?" and she said "why not, they said we will work on friday, so we should go there to work"

i'm expecting a message in our work chat group around 4:45pm today that says "no work tomorrow, have a rest". in fact, i expect a bunch of these messages for the next week or two, because this does not look remotely ready to move into. and we can't go back to our old office because everything is packed up and finished.

how hard is moving? shouldn't it be like "here is a new office. its ready. great. pack up your stuff. a moving company moves it to the new office. start work again"

this is like "we want a new office. we will move on this day. pack up your stuff. lets go. poo poo it looks like its half done. wait an hour. wait another hour. poo poo take tomorrow off. in fact take a week off. we may or may not move next week. just hang tight for a minute"

yesterday ended with our staff getting really drunk together and laughing and enjoying our lives because what the hell are we supposed to do

when china rules the world

Holy poo poo

# ¿ Sep 29, 2016 02:14

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Outrail posted:

"The Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region announced the expulsion from the Party of all who had eaten human flesh. But the regulations were withdrawn quickly for fear that the document would be slipped out to Hong Kong and reveal this episode of cannibalism to the world (Zheng 1993:52)."

Better not do something worthwhile if it means people will find out about it.

Face, face, face, face.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2016 18:31

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Priapus?

Comus.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2016 20:24

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Mmmmm street milk.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2016 22:51

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

I don't know if you're joking but that would be loving awesome.

My fiancee's mom has a fresh glass every day. Buys it from this goat truck guy and brings it home, boils it and drinks it. I'd be more concerned over the conditions/feed of the goats, but hey, goat milk is decently nutritious so, more power to 'em.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2016 00:53

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Imperialist Dog posted:

If you host a goon meet over the border should I bring my bagpipes?

I would love to see the mass confusion playing bagpipes would cause.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2016 03:48

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Haier posted:

gently caress a sixhead, gimme a sixchin!

Words fail me.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2016 06:50

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

BONGHITZ posted:

might as well apply for citizenship, you are staying

China doesn't do the whole citizenship/naturalization thing.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 01:27

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

http://vancouversun.com/news/local-news/vancouver-councillor-called-on-to-resign-after-chinese-flag-raising

Remember how Vancouver had a Chinese flag-raising ceremony?

The Vancouver Sun posted:

A coalition of Chinese immigrants rallied at Vancouver City Hall on Thursday, calling on Coun. Kerry Jang to resign after a controversial flag-raising ceremony last week.

During the ceremony, held outside City Hall last Friday to mark China�s National Day on Oct. 1, Jang hoisted a Chinese flag up a large flagpole. He, along with Richmond East MP Joe Peschisolido, also spoke at the event while wearing a red scarf.

The celebration angered many Vancouverites who say red scarves symbolize loyalty to Chinese communism, and were worn by the fanatical Red Guards during Mao Zedong�s Cultural Revolution in the 1960s. They sent an open letter to councillors and Peschisolido seeking assurances that such an event doesn�t happen again.

�We demand our government officials, members of legislative assembly and parliament put our Canadian values first when they deal with Sino-Canadian affairs,� read the letter, signed by Louis Huang, a spokesman for a group called the Alliance of the Guard of Canadian Values.

Jang previously told Postmedia he filled in at the event on behalf of Deputy Mayor Heather Deal, who was unable to attend. He could not be reached Thursday.

Meanwhile, Peschisolido said in an interview that he regretted having worn the red scarf.

He said he had been handed the item and told that it was �a symbol of 5,000 years of Chinese culture and civilization.�

�I looked around and everyone else was wearing it, so I said okay.�

Peschisolido said he later learned what the scarf represents to many Chinese-Canadians.

But the Liberal MP said he did not regret being there that day.

�If I had to do it again, I still would have gone,� he said. �I got the opportunity to speak, where I talked about the importance of economic ties between Canada and the People�s Republic of China. � But I also spoke about the importance of human rights, the importance of democracy, the importance of freedom of the press and freedom of one�s faith.�

5000 years of The Red Guards.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 16:25

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Boiled Water posted:

Question: Why are the three kingdom period done again and again as movies? Is it rich in many narratives to portray or?

It's one of the only things they're allowed to portray.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 23:23

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

drat Haier that is terrifying.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2016 19:05

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

I didn't even realise nipples could have different colors until you guys mentioned it. I mean I've seen my fair share but the actual thought never struck me. Madness.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2016 06:41

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

nickmeister posted:

Does anyone watch Serpenteza's videos?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDFJhe9MKHg

In this one, he dismisses anyone who criticizes China as "having an agenda." He also comes from South Africa but seems to think that politics don't matter and there's nothing that anyone can do to change anything.

I generally like his content, but this video rubbed the wrong way a bit.

South Africans are generally scum.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 00:39

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Many a mickle makes a muckle, my friends!

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 14:13

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

beep-beep car is go posted:

I bet that's on purpose.

Haier has, rightly so, been pretty reticent on letting people know his personal details. Given how easy it is to completely ruin someone's life using the internet, and doubly so any kind of poo poo in China can be used against you, he's done the smart thing.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 18:49

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Koramei posted:

I mean I find it gross too but you guys realize there's really nothing actually wrong with chewing with your mouth open right? It's just cultural differences.txt. For all the mocking of Chinese people's dumb hangups, this is basically the same thing.

Sure there is. Chewing with your mouth open makes it really hard to have conversation and increases the likelihood you'll dump a mouthful of half-chewed food all over yourself/the table.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:24

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Koramei posted:

I'm with you on the dumping thing but how is it harder to have a conversation with your mouth open than with it literally shut and unable to speak

It's the sound. The sound of eating drowns out anything but shouted conversation. Table manners where people don't talk with their mouths full or chew with their mouths open allows for much less noisy conversation and greater privacy in public.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:28

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

The Great Autismo! posted:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW IS YOUR FOOD IS IT DELICIOUS?

Memories of New Years/Spring Festival.

Uncle: Exhales a cloud of cigarette smoke and shoves some jiaozi in his mouth "EAT! EAT! CHI!" Gesticulates madly at the table covered in delicious food.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:32

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Sten Freak posted:

Except it's disgusting. Animals chew with their mouths open. It's literally one of the things that separates man from beast, like making GBS threads I'm the open, what a shocker.

Also this unironically.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:35

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

I refuse to believe that the ancient culture that developed fuckin rituals for making tea and specific grammar for presenting petitions to bureaucrats did not have a phase where they sat down and thought "Ok, what's a good way to make eating complicated" and just didn't do something.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:37

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Sheep-Goats posted:

There was some food noise in Taiwan but in general they were considerate when they ate. Thai people have the best overall table manners of anyone on earth.

I don't know man, I can't imagine table manners ever being able to be "the best" without at least 3 kinds of fork on the table.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:53

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Sheep-Goats posted:

Do three different brands of stamped sheetmetal forks count?

if they are used properly, yes. Dying of lead fork poisoning can still be very dignified.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:59

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

It's nice to see you guys branching out and stereotyping Israelis and Thai people as well.

Making fun of royals is acceptable and cool. To the guillotine with the lot of em.

Generally this thread has been really positive on Thai stereotypes. Off the top of my head people have lauded them as clean, polite, honest and relaxed.

Israel is Bad and needs no defending -it has its own internet wumao brigade.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 18:04

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

Nobody thinks Canadians are the worst at anything.

Only Canadians know, deep down inside, that we are the very worst of people.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 18:15

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Darkest Auer posted:

Re: loudness. I know that 东北人 can be a bit shouty at times (and I should know, I have one as a mother-in-law), but even their normal conversation voice that's about 140 dB has nothing on the average American tourist. You can hear that "HEY BRAD LOOK AT THIS FUNNY MONEY" from the other side of the town.

It's cool because everyone's phones have blown out microphones and speakers from shouting all the time, so nobody understands each other anyway, so they just yell "WEI? AH. AH. AH.." and pretend to follow.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 19:15

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

ocrumsprug posted:

They didn't get hit with another tsunami, their elderly king died. The country probably shouldn't stop.

When the Queen finally goes, no one in the Commonwealth is closing the pubs over it.

When steve jobs died there were people wailing and holding vigils outside of apple stores

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 05:45

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:14

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Sheep-Goats posted:

Say you mentioned it to your wife and your wife just about bit your head off because she wants to be near her parents who she considers to be not well.

Yo this is still the perfect answer.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 00:10

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