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One of the gate guards for my neighbourhood is a bit crazy and over the top friendly, he is also really badly crosseyed. It's pretty busy here so when he sees someone and starts shouting hello and talking at them everyone stops and looks at each other trying to figure out who it is he's talking to, whilst people he has trapped in conversation before start running.
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Oct 4, 2016 11:32
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 15:32 |
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Gargamel Gibson posted:My parents are flying to Hong Kong and taking a cruise to China and Vietnam. How does one make funeral arrangements when loved ones pass away overseas? Thanks. I know we make China sound bad but I think planning funerals is a bit extreme.
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Oct 4, 2016 12:36
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I don't know, since I got back after summer I havent seen anything noteworthy, things are far too civilized now and I'm getting bored.
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Oct 4, 2016 12:48
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The Great Autismo! posted:this is much more of a reflection of you and your daily life in china than it is actually china If you know Northern China is poo poo and Southern China is ok why stay in the lovely place? I rarely have time to sit around at home, I know Grand Fromage complains about Chengdu sometimes but I think he lives out in the wastelands beyond third ring road?
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Oct 4, 2016 13:58
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My heads a bit squiffy since my girlfriend freaked out about some beers about to go out of date at the company and made me drink them and i forgot they werent 1% like chinese poo poo but i thought your wife was japanese and you lived there or something? And i thought i remembed GF talking about living in the middle of nowhere?
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Oct 4, 2016 14:20
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This is my forth year here and I've only ever seen street making GBS threads once. A little kid with his grandma dropped one, the grandma bent down and wiped, noticed some dirt on the kids face whilst down there and then absent mindedly used the lovely tissue to try and run it off covering the poor kid in his own faeces.
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Oct 4, 2016 14:38
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The other day my girlfriend was on the phone with an uber driver and just walked straight out infront of a car whilst looking in the wrong direction for him, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back and it missed her by about a centimetre, I then got screamed at for 10 minutes for pulling her arm.
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Oct 5, 2016 12:45
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Last year my university opened a new teaching building and when I first went inside I thought I'd gone into the old one by mistake somehow since the layout was the same but was in worse condition, holes in the wall, footprints 8ft up the wall, black mould and that sort of stuff. Also the drainage pipes were inside the building, but there'd be a little bit of pipe sticking out of the ceiling then a 15ft gap to the little bit of pipe sticking out of the floor down 6 floors of the building.
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Oct 7, 2016 05:09
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Maybe people are just staying inside when it gets that bad?
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Oct 7, 2016 09:15
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Reasons my girlfriend is angry today: She wanted to go for breakfast when I was still asleep, was woken up by being shouted at for being lazy. Got up and ready and had to wait 45 minutes for her to get ready, she changed shoes 11 times. She has 4 pairs of shoes. She had a stomache ache and wanted to go to the TCM doctor, I told her there was nothing wrong with her and he would just tell her to drink more hot water, he told her there was nothing wrong with her and to drink more hot water. I've hurt my knee and she wanted to spend the day walking round a crowded park, I am very selfish for not going to the park.
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Oct 8, 2016 16:11
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Grand Fromage posted:Because they are. Mainlanders and Koreans (particularly in the southeast where I lived) are waaaaaaay louder than Americans. It's not even a contest. You must be deaf to your own accent because you lot are much worse. You can always hear the American coming from half a mile away, even over a crowds of drunk tuhaos, and they never stop talking either.
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Oct 13, 2016 09:00
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大妈 answering the phone on the bus is probably the loudest thing in China and is about equal to Americans normal volume level. In my last apartment building there was an American 3 floors above me and I could hear him talking quite clearly, anyone who moved into the apartments two floors above or below him would move out as soon as possible. The worst one was a guy I used to work with who would call me at random hours and ask questions about politics, I could just put the phone down as if it was on speaker phone and I didn't really have to say anything since he wouldn't shut up. Thinking about it pretty much every person I've had a problem with here has been an American, rarely anyone Chinese.
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Oct 13, 2016 12:04
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Grand Fromage posted:Hmm all right, if there's multiple examples maybe I've just been lucky. My building I can't even hear construction unless it's literally directly above or below me, it's nice and quiet. Yeah the guy in my building was a massive fella too, big lungs. He had a heart attack one day and our building wasnt tall enough for an elevator. The little old man driving the ambulance, two tiny nurses, the old lady from downstairs and me tried to carry him down but that wasnt going to happen, he had to walk down himself.
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Oct 13, 2016 13:37
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I think its the other way round, having the kings support was helping to prop up the military.
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Oct 13, 2016 13:51
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Just had a China moment! Some guy stopped at the door of the restaurant I'm eating at, took up a cat pose, meowed a bit, did some squats, licked his 'paws' and then just walked off as if nothing happened.
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Oct 13, 2016 14:09
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I used to work as a croupier in London. Lots of the casinos there will give out vouchers at certain times of day, usually a £1 free bet on roulette. So at 9am every morning about 100 old chinese people would show up, place their bets, get a free coffee and then move onto the next casino. We worked out that if they hit all the casinos everyday they should get about £300 or so a month, and one of the casinos would give out free lunches too. We really liked these guys though. Usually mornings there's just a few miserable middle aged men in the casino, the old chinese folks where always well behaved and the ones who spoke English were pretty funny so it brightened up the morning. They always tipped if they won too (tipping in casinos in the Uk was only legalised in 2009(?) so tips still aren't too common). It got them out for the day aswell, most old people in the UK just sit at home being miserable waiting to die. Jimmy Little Balls fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Oct 15, 2016 |
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Oct 15, 2016 06:45
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I live above 3 brothels, finally saw someone go into one of them yesterday, it was 11am.
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Oct 23, 2016 16:19
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Sheep-Goats posted:An additional point of contention I have with the super slick sidewalk tile is that it's usually laid on top of perfectly serviceable concrete. In Harbin when there's snow down, which is a lot of the year, there's always a deer trail running next to the tile on the thin strips of dirt left in the margins. The whole city uses these trails to get around on and as usual no one in China cares much for the idea of a one way street so you see people walking up to eachother on a collision course and then just standing there like two bees batting their antennas together for a minute once in range They recently dug up the pavements for most of the roads around my neighbourhood and replaced them with concrete with a brick pattern stamped into it. Great, you can walk normally now and it looks ok. Then a week after they finished they came back and painted it with some clear stuff that has made it really slippery again. They also painted a random brick blue every couple of metres with something that manages to be even more slippery than the black marble they use everywhere.
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Oct 24, 2016 16:03
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Blistex posted:I think the blue bricks designates the bike lane. No its just a single brick painted blue every couple of meters, there's no pattern to it or anything. Another thing is that it's raining a lot lately so you have to simultaneously look at the floor to avoid them and also be looking up to watch out for the umbrellas aimed at your eyes. Which reminds me, watching Chinese people freak out trying to work out how to get around wet patches on the floor is always good fun. It's not even puddles, just a slight damp patch will do and it breaks their pathfinding abilities which barely exist to begin with.
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Oct 24, 2016 17:03
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I studying Chinese and own a company here. How hosed am I?
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Oct 26, 2016 10:47
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I have the opposite problem, my Chinese is terrible yet everyone seems to believe I'm fluent so will spit out a novel at me at 5000 words per minute whilst I just nod and look confused. Even people who know me and can speak English will generally only speak to me in Chinese.
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Oct 26, 2016 15:18
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Chinese people always think I'm Russian, does that make me a duck?
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Oct 27, 2016 06:05
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Grand Fromage posted:For anyone with no experience, this is actually less chaotic than reality because: Also theres no people standing in the middle of the road waiting to cross because you must be infront of everyone else even if you are the slowest moving person on the planet. Then when the crossing light does turn green you have to stare at it for 10 seconds before deciding that yes it is green.
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Oct 27, 2016 12:27
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Phlegmish posted:To be fair whenever i see an asian using cutlery i stare at them for half an hour too They only ever use a knife and fork here to eat pizza covered in sweetcorn/burgers though which is fun to watch.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:24
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No one here is a real doctor. I think soneone posted in one of the old threads that only 17% of the doctors here actually have a medical degree. When I used to teach the medical PhDs most of them where already working as oncologists, surgeons, etc...
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Oct 30, 2016 05:31
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Haier posted:POLARIZING OPINION TIME: How much sweetcorn was on it? Glenn Quebec posted:brb, Going to become a quack doctor in China. I'll bring a West meets East approach - combing both western medicine and eastern traditional medicine. I'll nod sagely, hands behind my back and spit enormous loogies into a trashbin and not my floor because its a classy joint. My secretary is also my whore. Am I doing this right? Don‘t you know Western medicine they don't know how to fix it and cut your body?!
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Oct 30, 2016 16:28
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When I used to teach and was doing a group project I would get them to type their names into the computer during class. If they did it in pinyin it would take about 5 minutes for 50 students, if they used characters it would take 30 minutes - 1 hour since they have to find the right character, realise that it isn't the correct character and that they can't spell their own name and repeat. I'd try to get them to use pinyin but if you have one kid use hanzi early on in the process everyone else will do it no matter how many times you tell them not to because that guy used characters so it means we should do it like that too.
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Nov 2, 2016 12:41
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Today I watched a bunch of screaming girls bathe a raccoon.
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Nov 4, 2016 10:56
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Pirate Radar posted:Aren't they actually pretty good at cleaning themselves? Also, was the raccoon in a little dress at any point? I have no idea, I've never seen one before. Found a little steak restaurant near my house I hadn't noticed before and they had a pet raccoon. China.
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Nov 4, 2016 15:17
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The elderly, the mentally ill and now fatties. Haier you really need to up your standards.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:58
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So fashion!
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Nov 5, 2016 15:45
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ladron posted:really, how did chinese singing ever become a thing that was not meant strictly for punishment There's a tiny little park near me where a bunch of old guys go to play traditional instruments. I used to enjoy going there to chillout sometimes but now a bunch of old women show up with them and screech loving terrible Beijing opera poo poo that makes you want to stab yourself in the eardrum. Magna Kaser posted:This was like 5 pages ago so sorry for bringing it back up, but isn't the whole native speaker hears someone speaking their language who isn't obviously also a native and doesn't understand them an established thing that happens? I remember reading about it but forget if it had a fancy name. My Chinese is absolutely loving dire, yet everyone seems to understand me perfectly. People get visibly annoyed with me sometimes when I don't understand them as if I'm pretending not to speak Chinese to piss them off.
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Nov 6, 2016 07:09
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fish and chips and dip posted:I had something wonderful happen today. In my office building we have three elevators, one for odd floors, one for even floors and one that stops at every floor, all three are synced so if you can't call the even or odd elevator it's either all or none. I was going back to my office after lunch in the odd numbered elevator, it stopped at 11th floor, and two young women got on then they got off at the 13th floor and took the stairs down to the 12th floor. The building my company in has some big school which has classrooms on multiple floors so all day you get kids taking the elevator to go up or down 1 floor. Chinese people also don't seem to understand that the big flashing up arrow above the door to the elevator means it is going up so nearly every time I'm in the elevator someone will barge their way into it and then freak out because it isn't going in the direction they wanted. Bowling through crowds of idiot children who try and get in as soon as the door opens is good stress relief though.
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Nov 10, 2016 09:56
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Grand Fromage posted:They are American 13/14. This is a size that just doesn't exist over here and is hard to find even in the US. The initial double-take at my clown shoes is fine, I get it. There's a good chance they've never seen a foot of such magnitude. The continued staring, though. Where do you get shoes? Just wait til you're back in the US and stock up? My feet aren't big and even I have trouble finding shoes here sometimes, I'm a 43 chinese size and that seems to be about the limit for size most places stock. ladron posted:with feet like that your pepper must get scoped quite a lot too People always stare at my crotch, it's foreigner = big dick here. It mainly seems to happen in the morning for some reason, like every person walking towards me is staring at my dick then after about 10am it stops.
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Nov 11, 2016 05:07
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Automatic Slim posted:Can someone explain singles day? It sounds like a holiday where someone's parents tries to guilt them into marriage. Apparently, Hollywood stars shill for Alibaba which makes billions also. Yeah it's basically just buy poo poo you don't need on taobao day.
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Nov 11, 2016 07:15
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Old people walking around blasting horrific attempts at music from those lovely radios whilst clapping their hands are worse.
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Nov 14, 2016 12:03
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I feel like I live in bizarro China when I read this thread. My girlfriends parents live the other side of the country and we see them a few days a year for spring festival, they don't care about whether she is married or anything as they already have grand kids from her siblings and they want to buy a house for her but she won't let them since she wants to make her own money honestly.
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Nov 19, 2016 14:43
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From my understanding majoring in English here basically means you couldn't get into any other courses so you get dumped into English, these are the people who then become English teachers.
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Nov 20, 2016 07:29
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I used to teach post grad classes, when I first started I had a student who was under 5 foot and had a babyface. I figured since they were post grads and a bit older someone had brung their kid to school so I asked her where her parents where, she looked confused and said she was 23.
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Nov 21, 2016 02:34
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 15:32 |
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Gorilla Salad posted:For the past half year, China's butthurt over Korea deploying anti-missile missiles led to them unofficially banning any Korean show, or shows with Koreans in them, unless it was already running. Good loving riddance.
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Nov 21, 2016 09:40
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