Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Hello and welcome to the apostolic successor of the last Christianity thread. While most of us are liturgical in some form (Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, Episcopalian, etc), we cover a myriad of denominations. Ask anything you want! Just remember the rules: 1) be a cool guy 2) don't be an uncool guy.

last thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3554109

Always now and ever and unto ages of ages~~~

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 16:01

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:34

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold

Though why new friends are lesser than old friends I don't get. What if the old one is a jerk and the new one super nice?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2Lw9YWLVts

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 16:25

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Cythereal posted:

Throw out the candles.

bury me with my candles

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 16:41

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

I'm 100% feels all the time

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 18:47

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

if you're going to complain to someone, complain to rodrigo diaz, i based mine on his milhist op

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 19:08

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Just waiting for Zen death robot

I always mess something up in ops

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 20:04

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Should have said arius

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 20:18

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

Yeah I guess it's less intellectual vs experiential and more visual vs aural/ something about being social maybe

Nothing scares me more than a church that welcomes visitors, especially ones with almost no young people (they seem desperate tbh)

What about unfriendly churches

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 20:24

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

Welcoming, but in a New England way not a southern way

The Midwest is too cold and unfriendly for me

# ¿ Sep 20, 2016 21:36

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

The Matrix (especially the first movie) is almost explicitly Gnostic -- the material world is a prison and its very existence is the result of a horrifying cosmic error that separated the divine spark in man from its source.

it created a bunch of neo-gnostics

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 18:44

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

HEY GAL posted:

divorce and left wing economic policy, how terrible

I see funny cash and immediately think Company scrip

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 19:24

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Arsenic Lupin posted:

I'd be happier if it were a bit more specific, given the number of SA threads whose definition of "cool" might not be the same as this subcommunity's.

I only follow God's rules

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 06:42

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Some women cover their heads in orthodox services, but others don't

It's mostly the Russians who cover their heads in my experience

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 18:40

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

When I was a kid, everyone rushed out the door after church because gently caress you guys, you're not as important as the Bengals or Steelers

# ¿ Sep 23, 2016 17:14

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Man Whore posted:

Oh good lord, that article is really something. Basically a politically motivated coup in a loving christian denomination. I think I understood why my Dad seemed to very angrily answer baptist when I asked him our denomination even though the church we went to was southern baptist.

I'm 22 though so this would have all happened a long time before I was even born

Ohio unfortunately. There is a joke somewhere about the only southern baptists in the thread being from what is considered to be two of the shittiest states.

where in ohio, i am knowledgeable about baptists in ohio and west virginia

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 22:24

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

pray for me everyone, i applied for a really really good job at a lutheran church

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 22:48

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

HEY GAL posted:

on it

ok so we can all agree martin luther is in heaven

does martin luther do intercessory prayer?

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 23:09

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Pellisworth posted:

No one here is really out to convert you, this is the internet and we all have our strong opinions.

I am
Anime is blood

# ¿ Oct 4, 2016 06:31

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

My priest said that when he was in seminary there was a contingent of Serbians there and they would just poo poo talk the converts all day and night for living in a sinful country and not being very orthodox

# ¿ Oct 4, 2016 17:17

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lutha Mahtin posted:

i don't know if this is dogmatically correct, but i always thought the holy spirit was kind of the mystical part of god that is accessible to one's idiot human brain and body

*schisming intensifies*

# ¿ Oct 6, 2016 06:21

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lutha Mahtin posted:

DO YALL WANT A ~~HAM~~ SERMON? Because hooooooooo boy, did I hear A Sermon this past Sunday.

6/10 didn't name names or hit the pulpit with his fist

my uncle russell would shake his head at how tame this protestant rage serman was

# ¿ Oct 8, 2016 00:37

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

That's a thing I miss from Protestantism, fire and brimstone angry preaching

that and the phrase "on fire for the Lord"

# ¿ Oct 8, 2016 01:54

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Even better, he would stare at a point somewhere in the back of the church while speaking because he was terrified of making eye contact with anyone

# ¿ Oct 8, 2016 07:22

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

HEY GAL posted:

nah you can still emergency baptize

edit: and i may be pulling this out of my rear end, but i seem to remember someone baptizing with sand when water was not available

It goes water->sand->spit

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 17:05

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Thirteen Orphans posted:

I was thinking it might be fun to do a Christianity Thread Secret Santa for Christmas. Unfortunately, the very first thing we'd have to do is decide when Christmas is and that's going to be difficult.

If you want to do it, I already run the ADTRW secret santa so it would be easy for me to run it

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 23:42

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

HEY GAL posted:

what's your policy on international stuff? me, metternich, jcdent, pidan, paladinus, my dad, etc

You are assigned a zone based on your continent and you can choose whether or not to ship outside of the zone

So you could choose to ship to Europe only or if you're ok shipping outside of Australia or whatever

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 20:15

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

im going to post this again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oqcG1Ws5FE

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 19:01

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

San Pellegrino tastes like bubbly piss

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 00:18

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Same sex attraction mysteries

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 19:57

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Brennanite posted:

Mormons believe virtually the same thing. I wonder if they got it from the Quakers. I used to have a Religious Studies buddy who specialized in Mormonism and Mormon practice (though not theology) fits very nicely with your radical Protestantism in Colonial America.

Obligatory nativist, anti-Catholic political cartoon from 1926 (and a Klansman!):

Edit: Why isn't the image showing up?

you made it into an album, not an individual pic

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 17:36

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

It's amazing that people were angry at first about public schools because it would indoctrinate kids, and then immediately hated catholic private schools...because they were indoctrinating kids

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 17:45

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Cythereal posted:

And support their own private or home schools... so they can indoctrinate kids. To this strain of person in the US, it's not about the religious (or secular) indoctrination, it's about the wrong kind of indoctrination.

It's crazy because people got mad at Horace Mann over this

Everything old is new again

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 17:59

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

oh boy now it's time to talk about justification for 2 pages

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 18:51

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Is Protestantism Midwestern

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 21:09

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Junker George

# ¿ Oct 31, 2016 15:29

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

America becomes religious in cycles, we just finished an awakening, we'll have a minute until a new one occurs

# ¿ Nov 1, 2016 21:48

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Arsenic Lupin posted:

The decline in American church attendance started a long time before Facebook, and a long time before the recent church (multiple churches) scandals. At some point there came a tipping point between Sunday (or whatever) service being what everybody, even lukewarm believers, did; and going to church being a thing that only passionate believers did. There's no community pressure to be a churchgoer in the greater U.S.-- although there certainly is in the Bible Belt, at least in my experience of it. It's not just "people don't want to show membership in a community", it's "the greater community doesn't consider church attendance to be a normal and expected part of life".

When I was growing up in the '60s and '70s (before child kidnapping became a national worry), milkboxes had "Take your family to church" printed on the side of the box, with a sketch of a churchbound family, and that wasn't in an evangelical area.

Are we going to be the only Christians in America

# ¿ Nov 2, 2016 20:13

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

The Phlegmatist posted:

That reminds me. Who are some good 20th century Catholic theologians to read? I've read some of Karl Rahner and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's works. Who else is there of note?

I don't agree with him but Gustavo Gutierrez is important

# ¿ Nov 4, 2016 21:58

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lutha Mahtin posted:

i went on an internet first date tonight and for some drat reason we spent like 20 minutes discussing theology and church politics. imo the reason this poo poo happens is that you fuckers have ruined my brain. but also, on the other hand, you have given me enough knowledge about Catholic things to still get a kiss at the end of the night. i am not making this up

edit: side note her childhood beagle was named after a dostoevsky character. GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHRISTIANITY THREAD

Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and ye shall find

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:22

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:34

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Thirteen Orphans posted:

If I was gonna do scripture it be something particularly juicy from Song of Songs.

Song of Solomon blows

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

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