/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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lazorexplosion posted:

But seriously who the gently caress finds jeans uncomfortable?

Prolly people who buy poo poo $10 jeans from walmart that are stiff as a board. also chavs and russians. nice jeans basically feel like pjs, well not quite, but close.

wear basketball shorts all day errry day

# ¿ Oct 1, 2016 01:51

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 04:18

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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zakharov posted:

A two-parter that is a pro-read zone.

fake? probably. still amazing.

i doubt it's fake since there's a lot of hosed up broken people, and i know a few people not to dissimilar. But then again i believe about 18/20 of these except like smeagol pubes which was just funny.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2016 00:18

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Well they were also business transactions, so let's not romanticize the past too much

ill trade you three goats and half a camel

done

# ¿ Oct 6, 2016 01:55

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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subway masturbator posted:

Husband [30m] wants to split joint account

They'll be divorced in a few years.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2016 17:34

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Skratte posted:

Me [21F] with the family I nanny for. The son [13M]'s behavior is starting to creep me out, but I'm not sure if it actually is inappropriate or just a cultural difference.

hey ya'll, i'm a hot female american whose babysitting a 13 year old male in a foreign country, now he keeps doing weird stuff like humping my leg with a hardon and grabbing my boobs and sniffing my panties. now i think this is just cultural differences so i'm not going to judge, who am i to judge another culture afterall? the strangeness of life i suppose

# ¿ Oct 10, 2016 16:02

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Gaunab posted:

Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 6 years- she wants to sleep around before we settle down. What should I do?

that guy's relationship

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 04:37

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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HardDiskD posted:

My [25F] best friend since childhood [25M] is skipping my wedding (to his cousin [31M]) to go to a football match

either he's reallllly into sports or wants to gently caress her and is probably upset shes marrying his cousin but who knows

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 17:37

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My husband [34 M] acts like Larry David and I want him to stop

jfc. ho... how do these people exist

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 18:21

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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that would make more sense if you subtracted 5-10 years from their ages

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 20:01

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Gaunab posted:

TL;DR - my gf is talking sweetly to other guys, as far as i know, nothing sexual has happened.

this guy is really dumb

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 20:05

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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HardDiskD posted:

the girl is also very dumb because he is routinely snooping on her phone and she wont learn that

*to the tune of tegan and sara*
everyone is awful when you're posting on reddit

(and also SA)

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 20:35

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I'm so baffled at any age difference greater than 5 years unless both people involved are at least over 30 tbh. I'm 25 and talking to most 21 year olds of either gender is exhausting

e: does anyone remember that incredible e/n thread with the dude who was obsessed about "missing his chance" to screw 18-20 year olds and had moved to a college town in an attempt to make up for lost time

I think that was like KleenTheRowdyDog or something if it helps. he was very bad and eventually got banned for basically being a pedo (or ephedophile or w/e poo poo they use), at least i hope he did.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 04:09

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Nuebot posted:

Nerds looking down on other nerds will never not be funny to me.
EDIT: Oh poo poo it did not look that long in the preview window.

End boss Of SGaG* posted:

Maybe those dudes are losers but the guy sounds insanely bitter and insecure over his mediocre life.

so she's dating GBS embodied? nice

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 11:33

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Lockback posted:

People are terrible (if true)

probably is. it sounds like some small-town south shithole so they should probably just get out because there's nothing they can do at that point.

also embrace the castle doctrine or w/e

Xaris fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Oct 17, 2016

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:22

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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P-Mack posted:

what's with these guys who need a notarized letter in triplicate saying "yes I'm banging your girlfriend"

It's a little sad and I feel bad for a lot of those guys, but I can see where that logic is coming from, especially in 4+ year relationships where you really don't want to believe it.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 18:27

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

there's a good one in r/legaladvice

[Dallas, TX] I found out that I [36M] am not the father of my daughter [11F] but my father [60s/M] is the father; my wife [34F] told me last night. Struggling to cope. What are my legal options?

lol

drat, raising your own sister/daughter. hosed up

there was also like another couple of those where he wife was loving a dudes brother/father. what the gently caress is wrong with people

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 20:20

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Tiny Deer posted:

i read the title first and that first reply was my exact thoughts.

people are hosed up

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 01:15

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:

LDR for 3 years, been with him since

how long is "since," I wonder

you don't want to know

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 04:15

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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curlingiron posted:

Everyone involved here is great.

im allergic to water so i never wash after pooping and then i get on the train and touch everything to clean the bacteria off my hands like a real man :black101:

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 04:31

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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bone app the teeth posted:

which one of you is this post about?

lol if you think there are any goons under 27. it would make more sense if it was "[37m receding-harline mildly-overweight alcoholic sadbrains computer toucher who just picked up beginner weights] is being overly flirtatious...." following by the rest

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 05:50

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Tender Bender posted:

Sadly I can't find evidence of the homemade jeans, but the Denim Megathread OP does include gems like this:

Everyone has a different answer. The general consensus is between 6 months to a year. Personally I think that's kinda gross and usually wash my jeans every couple months.

the luls are coming from inside somethingawful :eyepop:

# ¿ Oct 22, 2016 03:10

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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modern adaption of the typhoid mary story

# ¿ Oct 22, 2016 19:45

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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ad090 posted:

AITA - I moved for my husband's job, my kids now hate me

yeah making your HS teenage kids uproot and trying to forcefully relocate from california to texas of all places is lovely

# ¿ May 30, 2019 03:43

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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M.C. McMic posted:

Hey, I hear a lot of bitching in Austin about all the assholes moving here from CA. I don't hear of a lot about people moving from TX to CA.

(Seriously though, he more than likely got deployed to the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, TX. Best case scenario he got transfered to Fort Hood.)

Yeah I mean theres a lot of garbage overgrown strip malls n whiteflight tract-house sprawl places here too. like Bakersfield/Fresno -> Austin would be a huge step up, and Austin is actually pretty nice for what it can be considering anytime the city tries to do something good the state goes NO like *city council votes to ban racial/sexual discrimination; 24 hrs later state gop passes law requiring mandatory racial and sexual discrimination*. But something like San Diego --> bigoted shithole military-base town out in nowhere would be super miserable, especially for the kids. I was mostly presuming that that was were they moved to given military and all

# ¿ May 30, 2019 05:27

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for asking my brother not to bring his husband to my wedding because of my fianc�'s homophobic family?

god drat. i hope everyone told him he sucks and is absolutely in the wrong and should have just not invited the parents.

i love that everyone knows conservatives are a bunch of fragile snowflake children easily set off by having to eat something other than mashed potatoes or having to see a lgbtq or slightly non-white person, and yet this is nonchalantly accepted as OK, we'll work around it--which just makes things worse. just loving make them accept it or else

# ¿ May 30, 2019 08:10

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for resorting to throwing a temper tantrum over microwaved fish in the office?

there is a special hell for people that microwave fish in a shared breakroom, along with people who steal coworker lunches. so nta

clearly this must call for special goony escalation so he needs to microwave and burn a giant bag of popcorn and microwaved eggs till they explode into hardened goop of sulfurous death

Xaris fucked around with this message at 06:30 on Jun 17, 2019

# ¿ Jun 17, 2019 06:26

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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welcome to hell posted:

The update is Real True Events That Actually Happened:

lmao. a literal 'then they all cheered and clapped' ending

# ¿ Jun 17, 2019 18:01

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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chemtrail huffer posted:

AITA for getting a family thrown out of a restaurant for underage drinking?

guillotine is too good for this person. we need like, a really slow guillotine to reflect upon the err of their ways

# ¿ Jun 17, 2019 18:09

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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QuarkJets posted:

There have been a few times where I went grocery shopping with my toddler and he wound up accidentally shoplifting a yogurt cup or two, cause he absolutely loves holding the things and neither I nor the cashier notice

Then we get to the car and I say "Nice score kid, crush the oligarchy" and we high five. Gotta start them down that road young

good kid, good dad, teach him the ways of the powerful self-checkout discount. hopefully its something that isn't chobani or yoplait, go for dat sweet noosa or icelandic yogurt for $3 a cup

crush the hedge-fund owned maximum shareholder profit and race to the bottom fire-all-employees grocery stores like safeway

# ¿ Jun 21, 2019 07:01

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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What should I [16f] do about my homophobic, transphobic, and racist bf [16m]?

quote:

We�ve been dating for 9 months, and other than those qualities he�s a great guy. However, those traits are making me less attracted to him. I�ve had around two major conversations with him stating the wrongfulness of his mindset (mind you, he�s made countless jokes to others and have hurt some people). I asked him to change his bigoted ways, yet to no prevail, he hasn�t. I love him, and I would hate to break up with him. I really hope I can change him. What should I do?

TL;DR: my bf is super transphobic, homophobic and racist and will not change his ways despite my protest and explaining why he�s in the wrong. What should I do?

my boyfriend is great, fantastic guy, everything is wonderful, except for one weird little detail--he really wants to lynch all brown and gay people and walks around dropping n and f bombs. what should i do???

# ¿ Jun 21, 2019 07:17

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:

All these words are very vague. What does "picture their appearance in your head" mean? Is it visual or metaphorical? When I think of Person who I see every day I absolutely have no actual image, eyes closed or open, of them. I can think of my memory of them and I can describe some general physical features and but I can't "envision" anything. I have a vague sense of them which might be like what ArbitraryC is describing, which is what I call "visualizing" but I can't make any actual visual analogy of it. It's not blurry or faded or fleeting because it's not an image, it's a mental structure of details an impression of what I remember about them. It's perfectly constant, but has absolutely no precision. It's like what I remember is the impression left by the experience. That impression can have a lot of detail or not, like any memory, but there's nothing to examine in it.

I have no navigational problems because I can make a mental chain of patterns. It's not really accurate to call it a list of facts because there's a "sense" of a visual component to it, but there's no actual visual component to it. I can't focus in on any piece of it or remember something better. I either know which way to go or some fact about how something looks, or I don't. This is not the same as how other aspects of memory work for me where I can strain to try to remember something or think about it and recall more pieces.

Do I have aphantasia? I have no idea. When I read accounts of aphantasia I can relate to a lot of things, but often they go way further in what they're unable to do (like no dreams, bad at directions, bad memory, lack of detail in descriptions) to the point that I don't think it applies to me. But then I read the responses to those posts and the way people talk about visualization is pretty drat literal, even in the face of direct questions, in ways that I would never be able to relate to.
...
Regardless of whether the way I (and maybe you) think is aphantasia or just somewhere on the spectrum of how people visualize it seems clear that a significant number of people do visualize in meaningfully more literal ways than I do.

Not to get too deraily, but this is my first time hearing of this from the previous reddit post and yours, and I find it utterly fascinating. I never realized that I actually lacked this, or that people had it much better than I do. I'm the same way, I can navigate but mostly by knowing general direction and series of facts 'ok this road turns into this road and i know X is on that side of the street' but I'm not visualizing my location/road/ or a map in my head. I'm also terrible at visualizing people/faces, and it's more like 'ok sean connery has a white white beard' but not actually picturing anything resembling a person, more just like a weak visualization of a fact of a face with a beard. I totally recognize faces even those I've only seen once a very long time ago (often I don't know their name but I know 'hey that guy').

Mostly all I get is a vague 'ok this is a oblong banana-y shape, and i know its yellow' but i'm not like picturing a yellow banana, just like vaguely a banana-y outline. I don't really dream (or at least not that I recall) except maybe once or twice a year, although I used to have more vivid nightmares as a kid which seemed to suddenly go away when I turned 12 or something. I'm utterly god awful at art but I'm fine at writing. Terrible at recalling lyrics, and generally my memory for some things is pretty bad these day.

And yeah, I really have to concentrate to even see that, and even hard to picture for more than a few seconds and easily and quickly vanishes. Definitely seems like it's a spectrum from what people describe though and I guess i'm not the extreme end of it since it's not like all-black. I don't know if there's much relation but I also don't really have an internal monologue either from the way people describe it. i think im just extremely stupid tbh

Xaris fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Jun 25, 2019

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 04:57

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Scathach posted:

This is loving wild. I wasn't aware that our brains were all so different when it came to the internal creation stuff. I'm a decent artist and definitely wouldn't be if I couldn't visualize stuff like I do.

So about the inner monologue thing, do you not have a voice that like reads stuff when you read? Like a weird copy of your voice in your head? Do you talk to yourself in your mind sometimes or no? Now you have me all curious.

Yeah I didn't give it much thought before but I'm god awful at drawing anything and it makes a lot of sense in retrospect just because I really do not visualize things to be able to draw them.

As far as inner monologue, I do not, no. I mean I think of things like "ok, when i get home i gotta do the laundry and feed my dog and i better remember to brush my teeth before i fall asleep" but not really in any sort of thinking/mute vocalizing way-- it's moreso kind of like recalling some facts I need to do. Likewise with reading, I'm generally absorbing it but not vocalizing it, like 'ok that dudes name is ishmael and he hunts whales' in a sort of factual way--and most definitely not visualizing some hot half-naked sailor with tattoos on the deck of a boat staring at a whale. My talking is mostly just a stream of consciousnesses because I'm not really imaging what I should be saying either and saying along with it either. It's hard to describe

brains are weird.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 05:24

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Pinecone Sample posted:

My (24F) boyfriend (23M) wants me to quit camming because a viewer insulted his penis while we were putting on a show together

lmfao. is this the guys first experience with the Internet??? we�ve been telling other goons that they have small worthless dicks since 2000

I genuinely could not imagine being 23 guy and break down crying naked on a bathroom floor because some rando Internet weirdo who watches cam girls used a standard throwaway dick joke

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 05:37

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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goethe.cx posted:

also 5" is like average. he should know that because if he's that insecure about his dick he's 100% googled "average penis size"

elliot rogers quote.txt

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 05:48

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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dudeness posted:

The man having sex is getting laughed at by the men who watch camshows and tip money and masturbate. The man having sex is crying. Man having sex, why do you cry?

I was thinking the same thing lol. That ain�t a normal reaction in that I�d question if they have a latent NPD or something

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 05:53

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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goethe.cx posted:

cousin fucker guy posted a one-handed update:

roll tide!

lmfao ok yeah. i was even partially willing to go along with that in 'ok just maybe in this hosed up world maybe that did happen by mistake' and then that went right out the window with

quote:

And then I licked her pussy and rear end in the bathroom of the bar. I stroked myself while I did it, and after I made her cum she helped me out. We promised we would never do this again, but I think we�ll get drinks one more time before i leave.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 06:00

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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goethe.cx posted:

OP is doubling down in the comments too. She was like "I apologized and made him his favorite breakfast and he doesn't seem mad at me so we're good. You guys are being mean." If it's not a troll it's a fairly shocking display of narcissism

gunna go with the latter. there are a whole lot of people with extremely blatant narcissism

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 06:36

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Pinecone Sample posted:

My [23m] wife [23f] has 8 nipples and it is a turnoff

I uh did not know that was even possible. learning a whole lot from reddit

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 18:28

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For getting my handicapped neighbour's car towed?

Sagebrush posted:

Another one of those "yes, obviously....wait, nope" ones

Parking rage already turns normal people into assholes, but getting a shared driveway turned into a special spot for you and then leaving it open as a spare spot while parking in front of your neighbor's house...goddamn. I'd have trouble keeping myself from heading over there at 3am with a can of paint stripper

yeah exactly my same feeling reading that.

though getting government to issue a plate-restricted parking spot on the street sounds very weird to me. I know you can request cities to give a handicapped/blue designation to a parking spot outside an house but thats for anyone wtih a handicap sticker. Which, would still be vaguely lovely if you already have a garage for 2 cars and a driveway for another 2.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2019 22:21

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 04:18

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Pibur posted:

TIFU deepthroating myself in front of my new assistant

Edit: spoilering the more... Graphic bits

lmao that owns

not surprisingly, there is a whole reddit devoted to autofelatio. goes well with the_donald i guess

really kinda amazing that like 99% of tifu is completely fake, seems like way too much effort just to get reddit gold for some fake posting on a throwaway account, but whatever. too mcuh detail trying too hard to know what they're talking about to not appear fake

Xaris fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Jun 27, 2019

# ¿ Jun 27, 2019 02:23

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