quote:

I don't know where to begin, so I guess I'll start with yesterday and the incident that started it all.

I am heavily pregnant with my boyfriend Charlie and I's first child, a little girl due in January. The entire pregnancy has been stressful from the beginning.

Yesterday, was like any normal day. Charlie had a day off and we just bought a new house so we decided to go to the home goods store and look for decorations. I noticed that he seemed a bit edgy, it seemed like every item I picked out he had a problem with. I was becoming annoyed because I truly felt like he purposely rejected items simply because I liked them. I was getting tired at this point, being on my feet all day at 36 weeks isn't easy. After about thirty minutes of shopping we got to the back of the store. I noticed a table I quite liked and asked him if he thought we should purchase it. He said there was no way it would fit in the area of our house I suggested and that it was a horrible idea. I protested a bit and told him that I felt he was doing it on purpose. As soon as I said it he threw his hands in the air and said "God you are such a bitch." I was so embarrassed, he ran off in a different direction and I immediately grabbed my coat and headed to the car. I didn't mean to start a huge fight and I would have kept my mouth shut had I known what would happen.

After he finished shopping and got into the car he accused me of leaving him stranded in the parking lot in the cold because I had gone next door to the make up and beauty store. He never called or text to say he was done, he expected me to know exactly when.

The ride home was so awful, it feels like it was just a dream or a night mare. He told me how much he hates me, that I trapped him and that he doesn't want our daughter. I was crying, visibly extremely upset and he just got angier and angrier. As I was getting out of the car after being berated for fifteen minutes, he threw my stuff on the ground and said get out of the car you stupid oval office I hope you die. I wish you were dead, die die die, I hate you. I picked up my stuff and walked into the house. He peeled out of the driveway like a bat out of hell, screaming that he's never coming back, calling me a bitch, etc.

Unbeknownst to me, the neighbor guy had seen this entire thing happen and apparently there were some words between them. Charlie says he did nothing wrong. I was already inside and had no idea. Now that Charlie is back, he's blaming me for things being awkward with the neighbors, plus them possibly filing a complaint with our HOA. He says he is going to move out tomorrow, a month before the baby is born. He claims that I'm out of control and that things will never be the same thanks to me. All I did was ask for a table, I wish i had just stayed home yesterday.
Where do I go from here?

Edit: he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as a teenager. I was told this might be an important issue to add. He's never been medicated as far as I know.

Tl;dr: A trip to the home goods store resulted in an argument over a table, verbal abuse, drama with the neighbors and my boyfriend leaving me at 36 weeks pregnant.

quote:

So this girl approached me at a student night in a club. She was very forward/flirtatious and not to mention she's a stunner. We ended up having sex that night and she texted me the next day. We kind of entered this whirlwind romance type thing that was pretty loving intense for 8-9 weeks. Lots of amazing sex, lots of cuddles, lots of talking, lots of feelings.

One night she came to mine as usual, but crying. She kind of...broke down on me, going on about how insecure she was and had all this baggage and couldn't hang out with me anymore. I guess I kind of got infatuated with her, naive as it was genuinely felt like I was in love with this chick, and it really hurt. I kind of expected that to be it but she came by the next night. Same story. But kept saying how hard it was because she really, really loved me and cared about me and didn't want me out of her life but at the same time she was too insecure to be with me. Idk.

Thing is, we go to the same uni but we're in different years and don't bump into eachother. But I can't exactly avoid her coming and knocking on my door. I kind of told her I didn't want us to be in contact if nothing was happening because we were never 'friends' so didn't have this to fall back on.

Two weeks later, when I'm about decided she just screwed me over, she's at my door. Same poo poo, she loves me, she can't let me go. So I tell her don't, I'll have her back. But still no. For "my sake" apparently, she said she'll just hurt me down the line. I think thats my problem to deal with, but whatever.
I'm just confused because when I say she has everything, I mean it. She's absolutely stunning, funny, smart, we clicked. Which led me to think she was just playing me, got me invested in her and then ditched. But if thats the case why won't she leave me alone and move onto the next guy? Every time she cries at me for hours, I try and answer her but it's always "no" in some form or another and its pretty loving painful. Why she doing this to me? If shes done, whatever, but why make it a huge drama?

tl;dr: Had an intense short term fling with an amazing chick and got invested. She ditched me out of nowhere but is being really dramatic about the whole thing and won't leave me alone. Can someone get in her head?

Syncopated posted:

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here and say that there's a reason the redditor, who's been there a long time and pretty much started the department he's working at, wasn't promoted. He's a fucktard and should be kept on a tight leash. Also he should probly support his wife when she's in a new position.

quote:

Throwaway because girlfriend reddits and I'm going to have to talk badly about her mother here.

This semester I accidentally took a math class I didn't need to take. I realized this too late to drop it with or without a 'W', so I decided to valiantly soldier on. I worked hard, and with the lecture notes and my textbook I managed to eek out a highish F, low D for most of the course.
Moving on to last week, when I was taking the final for this awful class and I knew within the first sentence of the first problem that I wouldn't be able to complete it at all. All of the quizzes were short and based on problems from the book with the numbers altered slightly, but the final exam was twelve complicated word problems asking for complex, multi-step solutions, and scans/photos of all work shown.

My girlfriend April was sitting beside me when I loudly realized this, and she looked over and said, "No Stephen you know this, we learned that in high school."

April and I met in high school, and we ended up in some of the same classes there, all the way up to Algebra II, because that's where I stopped and where April flunked out. So I definitely know that we did not learn this in high school, and I said so.

And she said, "No, remember that bitch [Teacher's Name] who was always throwing me out for existing? She covered all that."
I should mention here that April has mellowed a lot since high school- she used to be super disruptive, always talking too loud, laughing and being ostentatious about using her phone in class- I love her now and then, but she definitely deserved all the detentions she racked up in that class. My point is, April didn't pay attention at all, ever, and the teacher usually sent her out and to the office anyway, so I know she can't have learned much of anything.

But she insisted that I had to know this, because she remembers, and she wasn't even there half the time. I said if she remembered the material so well then she could knock herself out with it because even if she got a perfect score I would still fail the class and need to retake it. April took my laptop and gave it a go.

I checked this morning. Guys. April got a perfect score. It was a timed test that about a quarter of the time had run out of, on a subject she never seriously studied that she hasn't touched in years. Her ridiculously good test bumped my grade up to a 69.25 (doesn't count as a pass, but much better than the 39.25 I had before).

I told April about her perfect score and she just shrugged and said so what. I was like what do you mean so what, that should be impossible!
She said it obviously wasn't, because she did it and it wasn't like it was hard to do.
I said maybe she should go back to school now, if this sort of thing is easy to her.

She said she'd just fail out, like she did the last two times we tried that.
Which is true, but drat it, I feel like she can't keep being a greeter at Walmart if she can do this kind of thing with numbers. Before, she kept getting distracted, she was so disorganized that she wouldn't even write her assignments down, she'd spend hours staring at a blinking cursor and then forget to turn in the essays she did manage to write. It's like she was sabotaging herself unconsciously on purpose because she doesn't think she's at all intelligent. She always got very down and dejected whenever she failed something or had to drop a class, so I never wanted to push her before she was ready but I feel like I really need to do something now.

I know that she's smart. When our car broke down last year and we didn't have any cash to fix it she spent a week on youtube, poked a few bored mechanics here on reddit, took half the engine apart, manipulated some poor sucker on Craig's list into giving her an equivalent engine for parts in exchange for my mom's old deep freezer instead of for cash, put everything back together and now our Festiva runs smoothly without any weird ominous clicking.
But what can I say? "Hey April I know it didn't work out before but you need to go back to school and actually try this time?"

Something like that slipped out and she just looked at me and said I sounded like her mother.
That's where I stopped before I could do more harm than good and came here for advice.

See, April's relationship with her mother is... complicated. It's not like she's abusive or anything, they're just both better off without each other-- I don't know how else to put it. April's mother compares her to her older brother constantly, April why can't you do this like John, John never did that April what's wrong with you, this was so much easier when John did it. Her parents decided to use the money they'd saved for April's college on John's because as her mother put it, 'It's not like you're ever going to go there.' Whenever they're in the same room she comments on April's clothes, on the way she stands, on her skin, she just pick pick picks at her until she either blows up or breaks down into tears, and then it's all why are you so emotional April, why do you have to be like this, your brother is so much more logical April.

God, I hate that woman. But April loves her, who knows why when she's so quietly terrible. I try to combat this by pointing out all the awful things she says and how they're wrong and disrespectful and untrue and mean just to be mean. April used to say that was just the way she is but she's coming around. It's slow work; like trying to unstick velcro quietly-- but I'm making progress-- we're not going anywhere near that house for Christmas this year.
Anyway. That was a long introduction, sorry. I can outline the actual problem now:

Tl,dr: My girlfriend April is a smart person who was raised to believe in her heart of hearts that she is stupid and not ever good enough. I strongly suspect no one ever taught her how to study or plan out her time or to believe in herself. I love her, and I know that she can do better with her life than eight hours of, "Hello, Welcome to WalMart." every day. I was frozen earlier, but I know that there are so many degrees and careers where April's instinctual grasp of advanced mathematical concepts would be valued and well compensated. I need help talking her into trying again without putting my foot in my mouth.

well why not posted:

At the very least she could become a mechanic, that's a better job than greeter.

boner confessor posted:

fake story, wal-mart doesn't hire young people as greeters but that's about the most pahtos inducing bottom tier job i can think of. also this guy writes real decent for a dude who accidentally signed up for a remedial math class he nearly failed in community college

boner confessor posted:

i hate this idea that there's a "math mind". oh sorry i dont have a "reading mind", books and me don't get along haha. like words, who understands those except for turbospergs who can't get laid am i right

loquacius posted:

Gotta wonder why the guy's doctor refused the vasectomy. Maybe they mentioned the Youtube guy in the office or something and he was like, "no way am I performing an operation caused by a Youtube video"

quote:

This is just a throwaway account. Anyway, I have been married to “Ron” for over a decade. We have a great marriage, four beautiful children and a great home. My husband is a physician, a specialist in Emergency Medicine who has worked at a regional trauma center for the last 8 years. My husband has been scaling back and has opened a clinic where he sees patients for routine physicals and very minor procedures (a family practice). This has meant that my husband is around more and gets to meet patients who aren’t necessarily flat on their back. He will work in the ER for another two years and will fully transition into a family practice during that time. After that, he’ll do enough shifts in the ER to keep-up his certifications as a physician and advanced life support/resuscitation. I like that he’ll be home more and have better more regular hours.

The problem is that our town is small, most of the doctors are old and retiring. While it is amazing for business, it has some other unintended consequences. A lot of people have signed-up for his practice, even though he has limited hours. Some of the people who’ve signed-up: My brother-in-law, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my best friend and both my parents. My sister and father both have IBS. My sister’s doctor retired and sent her to a walk-in. Instead, she visited my husband’s office during a bad episode and he readjusted her meds, made special referrals for testing and has closely followed her care. She recommended him to my dad, who then recommended him to our entire family. At Thanksgiving, someone joked that my husband had seen everyone, who was at table, naked. My best friend said that she had ‘her annual exam coming up’ and hoped Ron had some interesting stories to keep her mind off the scrape and poke. I don’t know why, but it really bothered me. I know he’s seen countless people naked, but something about my friends and family really bothers me.

I was at my sister’s yesterday and I was helping her clean. I was cleaning a bathroom when I saw a prescription for the pill in my niece’s name. My husband’s name was on the prescription. It shocked me. I hid how I felt from my sister, but when Ron got home this morning, I lost my temper with him. He had to go to the clinic today, and I haven’t heard from him since. I know what I did was selfish and rude, but I can’t help but feel weird about it and I don’t know why. I have to apologize to Ron but I need to figure out why this is bugging me so much. Your input would be much appreciated.
tl;dr: I lost my temper with my husband because he's the doctor to friends and family. I feel bad for losing my temper. I don't understand why it bothers me so much.

quote:

Hello internet friends, I have quite the conundrum and I just can't bring myself to making a decision.

Preface, my girlfriend and I have been together for six months now. During this time we have only really had extreme highs and extreme lows. By which I mean, we go back and forth between her cheating on me and her being head over heels in love with me.

At first, it was with her ex because "she still loved him" however she claims she no longer has feelings for him and only loves me. I would be inclined to believe her, but when I am busy (at work, mostly) she spends most of her time with him, supposedly.

Now, and over the past two months, she has been seeing some guy she met on Tinder. She messages him constantly, even when we're together and hides her phone from me. We blew up and fell apart two months ago when it started; I dropped her off at home and watched her get into his car and drive off.
In the past month or so, things seemed to be going well. She would look at me with love in her eyes and always wanted to be with/near me. She would always say how much she loved me and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Was planning on having me go to her sister's wedding next year. I really thought she might have turned around.

So far this week, she blew me off twice and had a lame excuse to not see me. Sunday was because I had some friends over and she didn't want to interrupt "guy time" despite all week asking if she could come over. Tuesday night she said for me not to come over after work, that her dad was asleep and I needed rest as I have started to come down with a head cold.

Wednesday, I had the opportunity to check her phone and she saw her Tinder friend on Tuesday night, and vaguely planned to see him again. She also wanted to go see him Sunday but he refused.

Now, we are in a huge fight. She is saying that I am out of line to read her private messages, which I suppose is technically correct, but she has been denying seeing him or anyone at all. Now that I know, she has admitted to seeing him "once a month or so" but I doubt that. It's probably every three or four days. I also only checked the messages of Tinder friend, so I'm not sure how many guys she is seeing but I have always suspected three or four others.
I also suggested an open relationship, and she was disgusted by that. Her exact words were "Why even bother be dating then? I might as well just call you my fuckbuddy instead of my boyfriend." Irony, right?

I know that the logical thing to do is to leave her and never look back, but it isn't quite that simple. I am not particularly attractive, rather simple/boring and not successful. I want to go back to school but that won't be for another two years or so. This is my first relationship that lasted longer than a week, and I've done nothing but strike out so far in my life. I also have a rather small social circle, the result of friends/roommates who got into hard drugs and I cut them out of my life when it started getting out of control.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is it worth it to play dumb and put up with the abuse? Or should I go back to being single and alone forever?

TL;DR
Repeat offender cheating girlfriend who won't stop. Do I put up with it or be alone, realistically forever?

quote:

[deleted]

quote:

So, I love coffee. I drink it every morning and like trying out new cafes. When my boyfriend and I were long-distance he agreed he'd try it with me. It excited me because it's something I really enjoy. When we finally met IRL a couple years ago, things changed. Not only did the pet names and verbal affection decline, but he decided he'd rather not try coffee because it didn't appeal to him.

I accepted it. It didn't matter much compared to the fact that he was now calling me LDRCoffeeAddict instead of sweetheart, honey, baby, etc. which was a bit of a shock. When we discussed the issue he said he felt awkward saying those things in person. "Over the phone there was a buffer," he'd say. I always knew he had intimacy issues (e.g. refuses to hug his mom) but I didn't realize it would change our relationship so much.

He now says sweet things but in a less romantic way. He'll say "You're my girl" once in a blue moon or tell me "I like hanging out with you," etc. No more pet names or compliments.

Earlier we discussed us sharing a cup of coffee. He responded with "We'll see" and then stated "I just don't want to try coffee." It upset me. I explained it was about more than just the coffee; it was about his willingness to try things with me that I enjoy. His response was that he did plenty of things I wanted to do (i.e. watch movies I like, try cuisines I enjoy, etc.) and that he didn't see drinking coffee as a big deal but ultimately agreed he'd try it if it meant that much to me.

The agreement to drink coffee was something I held onto. He let go of the pet names and stopped referring to me as "Beautiful". The willingness to sip a mug of coffee with me was all I had left from that time and he tried to get rid of that too.

Can anyone offer a different perspective? It's incredibly hurtful I practically had to start crying for it to register how important it is to me. I'd like to hear that perhaps I'm overreacting but any response would be appreciated.

TLDR: LDR boyfriend was resistant to trying coffee with me despite previously agreeing to it before meeting in person.

Helsing posted:

If coffee really is a euphemism it's probably a euphemism for cocaine.But I don't think it's a euphemism because of all the specific details she includes and because at this point in the thread everyone should have accepted by now people really are that weird, petty and stupid.

quote:

Before we met IRL he complimented me and was open to trying different things. He was excited. After meeting and the compliments stopped, it led me to believe he didn't find me as attractive/didn't love me as much. Of course he disagreed but I don't believe him. We also had discussed kinks we'd try and after meeting IRL he confided me in he had ED. He said after meeting IRL we'd elope then after we met it was "Oh, we're not ready for marriage." Everything changed. No compliments, sex, marriage, and now no interest in trying coffee? It's as though our relationship is a completely different one and it's 95% because of him. He's the one that changed.
I wish he'd keep his word. That's it. I can accept he's awkward. I can accept he has major ED-causing anxiety. I can accept we aren't ready to get hitched. But the coffee is just the cherry on top. He won't even let me keep that.

Groovelord Neato posted:

what is with all these dudes that turn down sex.

quote:

Me and Samantha have been together for 4 and a half years. We live together and have a generally great life, and are very happy together.

I did however just find out that she's been essentially catfishing me for at least 2 of these years.

She has made an account on Instagram, which she proceeded to use to follow me and try to DM me as this catfish. And same with Facebook. 2 different womans photos, but both are Samantha.

I found out from her best friend who told me in private, and said she's been doing this for 2 years and can even show me the real woman. She said she did it to see if I'd ever be unfaithful. But, 2 years???

I'm unsure what to do from here on out. She doesn't know I know yet, and I don't know when/how to bring it up. I'm honestly furious. I've been great to this girl for 4 years and wouldn't hurt her, but she obviously still doesn't trust me and has basically had a whole made up life, as someone else, trying to get with me???

What would you do in this situation?

Tl;dr; found out from gfs best friend that my gf has been catfishing for 2 years, as 2 different woman to see if I'd cheat. Been together 4 and a half years and I've never done anything wrong. Should I break up with her or forgive her??

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Pssh I'm all about everyone else doing the cooking. This year I'm just making the turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy and a yule log for dessert. I delegated everything else to my mom, mother in law and my friends mom which is saving me not only a ton of money but a ton of time too.

Anywho, I like this one

quote:

Brother has a concussion and I have a head cold. My parents are letting him stay home and letting him rest, but they're making me go to school. How is this fair?
TL;DR: Parents are making me go to school but brother gets to stay home

WampaLord posted:

Also I'm not sure how that story is depressing unless you left out that the 13 year old got the concussion from being beat by his parents or something.

quote:

Throwaway account because I know my boyfriend trawls reddit (doubtful he checks this sub, but you never know).
I (22f) have been together with my boyfriend (24m) for about 6 months now. He is a really great guy, has his own place and a good job, has a lovely family and my parents adore him, very well spoken, liked by my friends and treats me better than anyone I have ever dated in the past. Couldn't be happier.
Recently we had sex for the first time together, and I found out afterwards that it was his first time having sex ever. Anyway, not long after this he revealed to me he has had this bit of a 'bucket list' he has always wanted to do with a partner but never had the chance. It included things such as;

Fooling around in his car
Making out in a movie theater / top of a ferris wheel
Shower Sex
PDA in General

He also reeealllyy wants a hickey, but thats probably the only thing I don't really wanna do since he has a lot of co-workers and I don't want them seeing it.

I'd been there and done that for just about everything on his list back in high school and thought most of that stuff was behind me now (if I'm paying for a movie im drat well watching it). It seems a little childish but I have decided to help him with it because I know how happy it will make him.
What are peoples thoughts on this sort of list? Do you think its weird or a cute bit of fun? Have you or a partner had a list like this in the past?
TL;DR: Boyfriend has a bucket list of intimate activities he wants to do that seem a little silly. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Leon Einstein posted:

It's very weird for couples not to share finances, but if they don't have the same mentality about money, it makes sense. I'm guessing the failure rate is higher in those marriages.

quote:

I have been dating Tommy for almost two years. When our relationship is going good, it's going REALLY good. We're so solid, understand each other so easily, love each other more than I've ever loved anyone. He's the best and it's the longest, most intense relationship I've ever had.

However, Tommy isn't great with monogamy. Partly, I think this is just because he has a really super high libido and wants to have sex at least 3x/day. I'm more of a 3-4 times a week type. And partly, I think it's because he's just a really adventurous, social person, and he's around cute girls a lot and has a hard time holding back if they give him attention.

So, long story short, I caught Tommy cheating. This isn't the first time I've suspected, but it's the first time he admitted anything. I found some hair in our shower drain that didn't look like mine (it was blonde, I have brown hair) and saw a suspicious text (I didn't snoop - his phone was sitting on the table and it popped up). He admitted what had happened, cried and said he was sorry and never meant to hurt me, bla bla loving bla.

The thing is, this conversation basically ended with him saying "you're right - I hosed up big time, and it's because I suck at this kind of relationship." So, he proposes having an open relationship instead.

I don't know how to feel about this. First, I don't know if I'm cut out for an open relationship. But I also think what he said is reasonable - he just wants more sex than I do, and it isn't fair for him to pressure me into having more sex, or me to pressure him into having less, so the fairest thing is for him to be able to look elsewhere.

Second, I'm worried about Tommy getting TOO involved with someone else. What if he falls in love with someone else and breaks up with me?
Third, I don't know how to set this up in a way that makes sense. The relationship would be open on his end but not on mine. In a way, this makes sense...after all, HIS needs not being met is the problem; my needs are more than taken care of, so it isn't fair for me to seek out anyone else. I get that. But at the same time, it feels unbalanced. I don't think I'd go after anyone else either because I'm just not interested in anyone else and feel like I'm past my "random hookups" phase, so maybe it would be stupid to push it.

Any thoughts? Anyone done the open relationship thing successfully? What kind of agreements do we need to make and what do I need to watch out for?

tl;dr: BF cheated because he has a higher libido than me/needs to have sex with more people. His proposal is to turn it into an open relationship. I think it makes sense, but have hesitations. Looking for input.

quote:

So I've been with Chris for a total of 6 years, married just over 4. We have our ups and downs as most couples do, but for the most part we've been very happy. We had what I thought was a great plan to save for a house, timeline for kids. We both had really great jobs and were on track for everything. As a total admission, I admit I'm a bit of control freak and like to have every angle thought about and accounted for (for Parks and Rec/Breaking Bad fans, Chris calls me Leslie Knope on Walter White's blue meth). So it was a total shock when Chris said that he wanted to leave his great job as an engineer to join the police force. I knew he was a little bored so I wanted to be supportive. I stayed up many nights going over our plans and figuring a way it would work for him to take about a 60% pay cut. We had also had a very high profile episode of police officers getting shot in our area not too long ago so I was terrified of the job.

We had a long talk and I relented that if it's what he really wanted then I would find a way to make it work. I assumed that he would apply to police academy while working, but he had completely other plans. He quit his job that day by telling his boss "you're a bald gently caress who's wife wants to suck my dick." (I know the exact wording because he's "bragged" so many times). He also may have damaged some very expensive equipment on his way out the door. He is very lucky that the company didn't sue us (they may still, and no matter what he's burned all bridges to work for any similar companies in our area). Well his departing shot meant that he both quit and was fired for cause so he got nothing in the way of severance--his boss would have probably been willing to work with him had he not has hid little outburst.

It took him a month to even fill out his police academy application. In the mean time he watched days worth of netflix, made enormous messes in the house that he expected me to clean up, he bought a $5000 bicycle "to get in shape" that he rode maybe twice. And he gained about 25lbs on top of it all. He finally got around to applying to the police academy and was accepted.
Well he instantly had problems at the Academy with the physical training aspects because he'd gotten so out of shape. He barely passed each phase and every time I talked to him he always had a lame excuse of "this instructor hates me," "They are biased against white guys...period," etc... Never once did he admit that it was his laziness and weight gain while he was out of work that had done him in.

Well about an hour ago he quit the Academy. He told me that he had a black instructor who just was so biased against white guys and he was thinking about filing a lawsuit. I just lost it with him on the phone and told him how tired I was of everything, from the quitting his job, to the disaster he made his house, to the loose racism and his stupid growing fat rear end. He told me that i should support him no matter what. I told him that I had tried but his stupidity and immaturity had pushed me over the edge. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since.

I am very seriously thinking about contacting a lawyer this afternoon to start a divorce. I'm sick of him, I'm sick of his excuses. I admit that I have problems in that I need to over-plan everything but I feel like I stepped way out on a limb to support him and he shoved it in my face at every opportunity and made me feel like an idiot. Am I justified in wanting to leave him?

tl;dr: My husband just quit the police academy. This was after he quit his engineering job on bad terms, did nothing for months except make me clean up after him and spend money we didn't have. He claims the reason he quit was because of his racist instructor and things not being fair, but the real reason was he can barely pass the physical training because he never worked out and got really overweight. Am I right in wanting to leave him for good?

quote:

This is my first office job and I dunno wtf has happened. I've been working here since last Wednesday. It's a medium sized office (30-40 people) and I've been introduced to most members of staff, all seems fine. But there is one colleague (who doesn't even work in my department) who is acting weird, let's call her Eve

Today I went to the toilet and did a number 2. I cleaned myself up and when I opened the door Eve was standing there waiting for me, she leant into the toilet, took a sniff and then said "we do not pass solids in the toilets here" and walked off

My first thought was WTF because it's a toilet, that's what it's for? It's not as if I left a mess. But whatever I let it slide. But half an hour later I'm at my desk and Eve has sent a mass email round to the office reminding people that "solids are not to be passed on the ground floor bathroom." Thankfully she didn't mention me specifically but it was clearly directed at me.
I thought that would be the end of it but at the end of work today Eve cornered me again and "just wanted to clarify the rules regarding passing solids in the ground floor bathroom"

Am I going mad? It's a bathroom, it's meant for making GBS threads right? I get that it's a public office, you gotta keep stuff clean, but I'm feeling really bad and I want to make a good first impression at work, but I've been made to feel that this is some serious breach of office etiquette...

TL DR colleague unfairly singling me out for using toilet at work, feels like I've done nothing wrong but I'm afraid I've broken some unspoken office rule, this is my first office job...

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I asked one of them (OP's Colleagues) and he laughed and said "poo poo happens" which I admit was funny...

Pick posted:

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I'll try to keep this short. I'm a single mother, had my son at 20 and met my current fiancé at 23 and we got engaged in December and planned a spring wedding for the end of this month.

So I am aware how most men feel about single moms, and my fiancé has been very good to both me and my son and I've been very appreciative of it. I have already taken a kind of wife like role for him. I cook for him a lot, I do his laundry, I keep his home clean, etc. That fact of that makes what he said to me even worse and more offensive to me.

Long story short, he asked me if we could have serious talk about things. I said of course and he said we needed this since we are going to be inviting his family and some of his friends up (he's from a town about 3 hours away) and it will be the first time some of them have met me. So he asked me if I know about how there is a stigma about guys who marry a single mother and raise her kid. I said no. He said that a lot of guys think guys who do that are pathetic and stuff and that some of his buddies had made some jokes about it with him. He said it was just light ribbing but it kind of bothered him. So I thought he just wanted support and I was going to try and give it to him but he told me it wasn't that. He wanted me to really act like he's the man of the house and the boss around his friends.

I didn't know exactly what he meant so I asked and he basically said if he tells me to do anything that he wants me to do it immediately. He then literally said he wants it to look like he keeps me on a tight leash.

I got really really offended and hurt when he said this and apparently he didn't expect it because he was saying he didn't see why it was such a big deal. I told him all the stuff I already do for him. We've lived together over a year and this man has literally not done any housework since. I take care of it all for him. I already treat him well and show him gratitude and my love for him. But because Incame with a son it's not enough. He also wants me to let him treat me like poo poo so he looks cool to his friends. And he wants to do it in the days leading up to our wedding no less. He had never made a big deal before about my son. They get along well and my son loves him and already thinks of him as his dad. So I have been crying and just feeling terrible the last few hours about this. I told my fiancé I would never act like that for his friends and that the fact that he even asked is the shittiest thing he's ever done to me.

Now I'm just not sure about everything. I am hoping you all can calm me down and tell me this is just some idiotic guy thing and not a big deal. I do love this man and my son loves him and I was so excited to be marrying him. I really don't want things to change but I think now I don't want it so soon. Like I can't see these guys so soon after this. Maybe a postponement? And for what it's worth my fiancé has apologized but it was mostly hair him rationalizing it to me.

TL;DR:
-I'm a single mother and engaged
my fiancé said he has a stigma because he's marry me and wants me to act whipped and obedient to him in front of his friends so he doesn't look bad.
I'm considering calling off or postponing at least the wedding.

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My best friend and I had been planning a trip to hike the Appalachian Trail for around ten years but things just hadn't been lining up. Last year, he told me that his wife wants to start a family and it's now or never. If I couldn't come along, he was going to have to go without me.

After serious deliberation, I quit my job and decided to jump in with both feet. I was having a great time for around four months but it turns out that he really didn't think I was going to come along and he had pretty much decided he wanted to go it alone. I only discovered this six months AFTER we both finished, but I digress.

It seemed like we were kind of drifting apart for a few weeks and then I got a bombshell. He had started sleeping with a girl we were hiking with. I'd warned him about getting close to her on several occasions and he assured me they had a talk about it and they were fine as friends.

Long story short, I told him he was being an rear end in a top hat and he should feel like an rear end in a top hat. We parted ways and we finished separately.
It gets more complicated than that but I won't drone on forever. important points were:
He told me not to tell his wife and that he would do it when he got back. Six months on and that hasn't happened.
She's a friend of mine as well

He's now planning to hike ANOTHER long trail (with his new mistress) and his wife still does not know
What the hell do I do here? We'd never even so much as had a heated argument in 28 years of friendship. I don't want to lose my best friend but I never knew he was capable of lying to people he claims to love before.

tl;dr: Went on a six month hiking trip with my best friend, he started cheating on his wife, we had a fight about it and finished the trip separately, he's now planning to do another long trail with his fuckbuddy and his wife still doesn't know.

Pick posted:

Sushi didn't even have salmon until the 70s, where salmon is clearly the Best Sushi.

Moridin920 posted:

He might be immature, I'm just saying based on what the OP posted there's no real reason to assume that and it's not immature to recognize a situation you don't want to be in and taking steps to avoid it.

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Chris says that if I choose to stay with my sister I am not putting him as a priority and that shows that I am not invested in our relationship.

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I am the youngest of three brothers. My oldest brother Mark[27M] has been married for the last 3 years to his wife Adriana and they recently had a baby. I was away for the last 2 months, busy with university and I couldn't see my newborn niece so over the weekend I figured I'd go and visit them.

I wanted to be a surprise so I kept my mouth shut and not many people knew I was coming home maybe except a few friends. I went to visit such a friend who lives nearby of where my brother and his wife live. But when I got there I saw that Adriana's car was parked outside. I found this weird since neither Mark or Adriana were supposed to be at home during that time of the day.

Nevertheless, I figured I'd go and say hello. I make my way to the house, it's unlocked and I let myself in. I approach the living room when I hear the unmistakable sound of two people making out, heavily. I slowly peek my head over the wall and I see Adriana and someone else on the couch, going at it.
That definitely wasn't Mark, he was at work right now. I know of this because I spoke with him earlier that day. I was ready to go in there and make a huge scene but before I could do it, I heard Adriana moan "Oh, Andrew" .... Andrew is my middle brother.

I stood there in shock for a bit, not knowing what to make of this. In order to make sure that it was him, I called him and yep, his phone rang from inside his pocket but he didn't answer.

I exited as fast as I could and ever since then I haven't said a word to anyone about this. I am back at my place and I don't know what to do with this information. I basically have a bomb on my hands and I seriously question if I should detonate it. Is it worth it to tear up my family over this? I can't even begin to imagine what kind of horror show this one will be but I can't stop thinking about Mark and how much this will hurt him. Help me Reddit, what should I do?
tl;dr I caught my sister-in-law making out with my middle brother and I don't know if I should share this information with my oldest brother.

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I've removed this person completely from my life over the last several months through therapy and support from friends. When she broke up with me, I let her keep the PS4 "we" purchased because of my delusions.

I say "we" because she paid for hardly any of it. When we got it, I paid for the system, games, an upgraded HDD, and the online access. Hell, I forgot to take my credit card off the account for this last year, so I've paid for two years of PSN.

I had her pay me back in her paying for a few dates. I originally intended to get like $150 back from this, but I cut it short because I was in love and really didn't care about the money. She actually paid back like $30.

When I messaged her about it last week, she at first ignored me, and then when I tried a couple days later, she came off as combative, like she was deliberately trying to start a fight. Not sure how much that should weight into my decision making, but I told her I'd compensate what she paid into it.
And I lied and said it was more than I know it was. I have $100 in my pocket right now for this purpose. I'm not close to wealthy. I'm in a ton of debt and need money for other things, but $100 won't kill me. I think it's the principle of the matter that has me uncertain.

I feel like I'm swallowing my balls by actually paying up to avoid a conflict. This person hurt me a ton, but I suppose I hurt her in the aftermath. I don't like hurting people. I don't know if she bought new games for it. I haven't kept in touch.

TL;DR - Feel somewhat stupid for paying to get my things back. Would you actually pay?

Elsa posted:

Thanks!

Full disclosure, most of the drawings are composited google images and then traced in a way to make them look like they belong in the same scene. Actress for these images was Alexandra Daddario. I could do something in my own hand but it would take a lot longer and it's not supposed to be that kind of thing.

This is a lot of fun and gives me something to look forward to

Elsa posted:

WoodrowSkillson posted:

My BF just jokes that if people don't think you're gay, your bestie isn't doing the job right.

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We met on an app went out to lunch, and hooked up at my place. It was okay. I asked her to hang out again when I was walking her to the train and she said yes of course. So then that night I messaged her saying "Thank you for hanging out. It was fun".

I didn't check my messages for a day so today I saw her reply from that night that says "No problem. Thanks (smiley face) Do you know the ugly truth?"
Eh?

I've only known this girl for less than a month so safe to say I have no idea what she is talking about. I've been checking to see if she replied because this mind game stuff is just grueling. What "ugly truth"??

I've replayed the day and in my mind I can remember a few things. One, her telling me I am hairy (fair enough I am hairy). Two, her not wanting to allow me to see her lower half but then letting me once I kind of nudged a bit without being forceful. Three, she really didn't know how to kiss so I'm confused as to if she has done this before. I assumed she did since she had a boyfriend!

Honestly this "ugly truth" thing is just stupid. Just tell me what you want to tell me. Is it about me? About you? About what? Just tell me already.

What should I do?

tl;dr: Girl whom I hooked up with messaged me asking if I knew the ugly truth. I have no idea what she is talking about.

EDIT- She clarified and she meant.. .the movie of the same name. I feel dumb.