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Uh-huh, sure: My[30F] Boyfriend[47M] won't indulge in silly fantasies of our future Some Background here. We've been together almost two years. He's "recently" (according to him) separated even though it's been a few years. I still haven't met his kids and it's become a bit of tension between us. He's been telling me for the last year that he will introduce me to them "soon". I have not pushed. Recently we've been having some real trouble and I've sat down with him and we've spoken about some things moving forward, specifically how he says he sees us together for a long time but won't take the steps towards a real future (eg, getting a divorce, meeting the kids). We talked it through and worked it out, or so I thought. Last night we went out on a date night. Things were going well and I was chatting about things I wanted for my own wedding, laughing at how my mom had not taken it well that I didn't want a wedding ring due to my job. He plays antagonist and just starts badgering me about the things I would want. So I ask him how he foresaw his wedding. This turned into him demanding to know how much the wedding would cost. Like sir? I don't know. It's not real. So I switched it to something less .... Money related? And just asked about a general future he foresaw together. He got tight-lipped and annoyed. Said he didn't think much past the now and takes it a day at a time. We aren't a new couple. We have been together awhile. He has said he wants to be with me forever. I'm getting kind of frustrated by this point. We get home and he wants to talk about it. So we talk and I ask why he can't indulge me in these silly little fantasies. He sort of snaps back about "oh so you wanna just set a wedding date then?" And starts acting like I want a timeline of our relationship and that I want to map it all out. I'm so frustrated by this point that I just go to bed. This morning we try to talk about it again but now his reasoning is that he can't "start all over" again. That he needs to consider that if we got a house what if I took half of it. We would need prenups. Honestly I just started crying and left. I'm really starting to wonder if I need to just walk away from this. Would I not be better off with someone maybe closer to my own age who hasn't become jaded about it all and is willing to play along with these little fantasies 2 years in. Or am I overreacting to all this? Should I just be content in the now? I don't know.... TL;DR separated boyfriend won't play pretend at a future together (even though he says himself he wants to be with me forever) because we may break up and I would take half his things. Best comment: You're the side piece
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Jan 10, 2020 21:16
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 01:38 |
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My girlfriend and I share a "Death Fetish"? My girlfriend and I both share the fantasy of me killing her during sex. It's consensual and the fantasy is shared by both of us (neither of us have any intent on living this fantasy). We've had long talks about how I could dissect her or torture her to death. We're both extremely in to the idea of the complete submission of her dying by my hands specifically. Are there any ways to closer simulate this aside from choking her to the point of unconsciousness? Specifically looking at the torture and dissection. Our long conversations about this topic has lead us to question whether or not this is a healthy part of our relationship, or if it's a step too far. Though these are only fantasies, they ARE about her dying. 
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Jan 10, 2020 21:29
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My husband (32/m) is upset that I (31/f) don't look more like a mom. Dan and I have been married for 3 years and 8 months ago welcomed our amazing son into the world. He was very planned and wanted and motherhood had been transformative for me. I was able to take 4 1/2 months maternity leave before going back to work. Without going into too many details, we both work white collar jobs that require professional attire. A normal work day look for me is a skirt or pair of slacks, a silk blouse, pumps or boots depending on the weather (but always with a heel because I'm 5 foot nothing), maybe a blazer if I have a big meeting. Dan wears a suit almost everyday. I also style my hair and do some makeup for work everyday. This is what I wore before our son was born and what I continue to wear. Dan and I are pretty even in sharing parenting duties. I tend to take mornings because I'm more of a morning person that Dan. A normal morning for me starts early, short workout, shower, get baby up, get ready, get baby ready and baby off to Dan because the daycare is on Dan's way to work. I'm normally dressed at the tail end of this process but I keep my robe on over my clothes in case my son wants to give my outfit something to remember him by on our way out the door. For the last month or so, Dan has been more irritable than normal in the morning. There have been side comments if he gets up and I'm drying my hair or getting dressed- basically if I'm not 100% focused on my son in the am. Our son is happy playing and supervised so I just chalked it up to morning moodieness but it's been getting worse. Last night I brought it up in what I thought was a neutral, non confrontational way. Basically his answer was this: his mom was 100% a mom after her kids were born. She gained a fair amount of weight after she had kids and never tried to lose it. She wore sweatpants everyday and works a job where she wears a uniform so if she wasn't in her work uniform she was in sweats and a tshirt. She never did her hair or make up. Her entire identity was being a mom and she's shared with me how hard it was to watch her kids start their own lives. Dan thinks I don't care about our son as much as he does since I worked on losing the baby weight and still put effort into my appearance. I feel like keeping this part of my identity actually helps me be a better mother. I love my son but I'm still me and I still have the things I like to do. Dressing wel my identity actually helps me be a better mother. I love my son but I'm still me and I still have the things I like to do. Dressing well, blowing out my hair and doing my make up are therapeutic to me. Now that being said, my son is my life and if I knew that not doing those things but guarantee him a happy healthy life I would stop immediately. I told Dan that my son and I have our morning routine and he gets lots of time and attention before I go to the office. Dan said he wasn't looking to fight but he just wanted me to think about my priorities and my time management. Is it normal for new moms to totally sacrifice all the things you like to do? Is this a sign of something deeper I need to address with my husband? TL;DR: my husband thinks because I take my time to get ready every morning, I'm not as good of a mother as it could be. My wife still looks attractive after she had our child. What do? Is she broken?
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Jan 11, 2020 18:15
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I (27F) might break up with my boyfriend (25M) for beating up a guy who was sexually harassing me. The ordeal resulted in a gun pulled on us. Am I right in doing this? So me and charlie (boyfriend) and a few other friends went to this bar, and me and my girl-friend were out smoking in front when some guy went by and this guy came up and did these like smooches at us when walking by, and my friend said "eww gently caress off" and then he went up to us and was like "what did you say girl?" and put his arm around her. She pushed him away and he was laughing with his friend who was behind him, then he tried putting his hand on my shoulder and said "what about you?" in a flirting manner and i grabbed his hand from my shoulder, and then he put it back there. It was creepy, to say the least. Then, out comes my boyfriend with this TERRIFYINGLY loud, booming deep voice, going "WHAT THE gently caress ARE YOU DOING GUY" and the guy who was harassing us got up in his face briefly, and then my boyfriend literally grabbed him upwards by the collar and WWE style smashed him on the ground like he was a ragdoll. Then he punched him, fast, 4 times in the face. The other friend pulled out a pistol and aimed it at my boyfriend and said "dont loving move, dont loving move" and he just walked backwards slowly until he was out of sight, while my BF had his foot on the other guys chest on the ground. When the other guy was out of sight, my BF quickly gave another punch to the guy on the ground. Anyways, I was yelling and screaming the whole time in fear. We all just got up and left the area, the guy on the ground bleeding out of his face. I'll be honest, I was loving furious with my BF, and I still am. I am from europe where poo poo like that DOES NOT HAPPEN. You call the police if somebody is doing what that guy was doing, you don't beat them up. Not to mention I got a gun aimed at me, something which I never thought could ever happen in my life, even if I am in america. I told my boyfriend he was a loving moron, and that we should have called the cops, and he just laughed and hugged me and said "if we called the cops, they would arrest me for assaulting that guy, you dont know how cops work here" and I just couldnt believe that was his excuse. Maybe dont assault the guy in the first place?? anyways, we have been dating for only 4 months so like, its mostly a new relationship. I think he thinks I should be greatful he protected me but I am kind of bitter at him, who is that bravado macho man that they just beat someone up like that? poo poo like that just doesn't happen, at all, where I am from. Idk, I am really rethinking a relationship with a man who gets into fights with people like that. I really like him but I feel like he is just loving stupid if he is fighting people over anything. Police exist for a reason. Taking 'things into your own hands' is just not what you do where I am from, it is something brutish idiots do. Should I break up? Can someone idk, explain why he would do that? Is this an American thing? It all seemed so loving wild. tl;dr: Boyfriend beat up a guy who was sexually harassing me, I am thinking of breaking up with him. The best comment: I promise you, most rational people everywhere in the world would just call the cops in this situation, not escalate it by getting physical. Your boyfriend showed a horrible lack of maturity with his actions and if you two have only been together for 4 months, this definitely seems like more than enough drama to end the relationship.
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Jan 11, 2020 18:35
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Looking for material and while the post was dull I think I found  This feels like a dumb question, but I’d like to ask about wearing a cock cage with only one testicle?
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Jan 11, 2020 19:18
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for taking my birth control in public? That guy is not getting sex and is hot and bothered enough about it that that pill amounts to bragging.
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Jan 12, 2020 21:55
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Kuros posted:AITA for nicknaming my blind mother-in-law Roomba? NTA, she has a sense of humor about her limitation and so does he and this is far healthier than never mentioning it and alienating her by never speaking of her blindness.
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Jan 13, 2020 01:20
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Dating my taken ex and the most jealous/toxic argument and situation you’ve probably heard about TL;DR - WE KNOW WE ARE TOXIC WE WANT ANSWERS NOT TO TELL US SOMETHING WE ALREADY KNOW No judgements we know we’re terrible just looking for answers (PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING DOWN BELOW) Me and ex are still in love. She’s super jealous, tells me to drop a platonic friend but she won’t breakup with the boyfriend she’s been cheating on with me. She wants me all to herself. Who should drop who and is it fair for her to keep her bf if i can keep my friend. Me [18M] and my Ex [18] dated for a good 9 months. We’re still madly in love hardcore to the point where we can’t be separated and always crawl right back to each other. She’s found a boyfriend, i have not been in a relationship since. We have been cheating without his knowledge throughout their entire relationship and once he found out recently my ex faced social consequences even after her bf forgave her. It’s been about a week and we’ve gone right back to cheating. We’re both heavily jealous, me of her boyfriend and her of any girl that isn’t family. She’s dating him to preserve her social life which was minimal to begin with. She’s forcing me to drop a platonic friend because she doesn’t want another girl to be talking to me. I said I won’t drop her because she hasn’t done anything wrong and won’t even consider it until she breaks up with her boyfriend. She refuses to break up with him because it’s “different”. She harasses my platonic with mean dms and i say that if she doesn’t stop I’ll let her bf know we’re still talking as he wanted her to block me on everything and is like a prison guard having her check her phone for messages and everything. If i message him he will break up with her and have her social life pretty much torn to shreds as she is involved with a lot of groups her bf is involved with or completely stop contact between the two of us. We’re not looking for judgement we just want a clear answer on who’s more in the wrong for all of our horrible actions as terrible people. I hate you both but you are nowhere near the most toxic. What you describe is also not love.
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Jan 13, 2020 05:42
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 01:38 |
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I (F31) live with my ex of ten years (M30) after he came out as gay a year ago. I’m trying to date someone new. If you’re anything like my friends your initial reaction will be “girl get the heck outta there!!” But it’s not so simple. I work full time but my wages are not enough to live alone. At this age all my friends are married with kids and can’t take me on. I have no family here as I live in a different city. I could flat with University students but at my ripe age I know it wouldn’t be good... So - I live in my own bedroom/lounge in the house me and ex hubby rent together. The thing is I’m finally hitting the dating scene. The guy I’ve started seeing knows my story and seemingly doesn’t mind. But deep down I feel like it may be damaging things. He can’t ever come here, and I have to drive out of town to see him. My ex has been dating since July. He has a steady boyfriend and to my disgust a girl he fools around with too. I’m over being upset about that... but I know I’m never going to truly get over it while I’m stuck here. Rent in this city is madly high, I could live in a small turd box with no money left, or I can live a comfortable life here in this emotional prison. I can’t weight it up. I know I’m not moving on the way I should be while I have to see the ex every day. And, if I was my new date I’d be slightly uncomfortable knowing he lived with his ex - even if she were gay... Financial ruin or never moving on?? I’m trying to get promoted at work but it’ll take time and a bit more of my soul. I could move back to my home city but all my friends and my new date are up here... and my job is the first job I’ve ever liked going to and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t know if advice will help... but any is appreciated. TL;DR: I live with my ex due to difficult circumstances and am anxious about dating and stuffing it up. Hi, this is my gay ex that I still live with. This is his boyfriend and this is the girl he is also fooling around with. He is totally gay though. Are you a character from a really bad soap opera?
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Jan 13, 2020 05:49
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