54 40 or gently caress posted:

she has a boyfriend and her usual response is "regretfully I'm taken but I'll let you know if anything changes "

quote:

My boyfriend [28 M] is overly jealous and controlling of me [25 F] and goes through my phone when I am asleep. [2+ year relationship]

Alright, so, my boyfriend is the kind of guy that everyone who meets him would describe him as the nicest guy ever - he's super charismatic, outgoing, funny, you know the type. It's part of why I fell in love with him. But as you know, once you delve more deeply into the relationship, and as time passes, you learn more about the person and start to see beyond the rose coloured glasses. He definitely has a "mask" he wears when we're at social events, talking to parents, coworkers - kind of like a "work voice", if that makes sense? It's kind of like he's putting on a show. Obviously, he doesn't act that way around me anymore. I know him in and out, all the good, all the bad - as he does about me. We've lived together for a year and a bit now, and I have my own share of mental health issues (which he knew about when we began dating), and have definitely been a rollercoaster for the better part of our relationship. I'm not perfect by any means, and I don't mean to convey that at any point in this post. Okay, I'll get to the point now.

So, he's always given me small hints about the idea that he's a very "protective" person ever since we started dating. I use quotations because his behaviour has never been "protective", but overbearing, jealous, and invasive. It's gotten progressively worse over the course of time, and it's usually elevated when he's drunk. He gets extremely possessive, but not in a way that could be seen as a loving or endearing facet of jealousy, such as getting upset over another man looking at me or flirting with me(which does get him aggravated, but not even close to the point of anger he gets to when things are "my fault"). He instead gets angry with me for things like wearing makeup or a dress, or posting a photo of myself on social media. It's passive aggressive at first - a snide comment about how I "don't need to dress up so much for this place", or "why are you wearing fake eyelashes? who are you trying to impress?" - things like that. He's openly expressed how he thinks that everything I do is for attention and that I'm self-centered and everything I do is for male approval and attention. He "doesn't buy" that women like to do things for themselves, and rejects the idea of women taking ownership of their bodies and doing what they please with them. (I should note - I do not post explicit, nude, or implied photos, though I don't think it should matter if a woman wants to show herself off, but he makes it seem like I'm posting full frontal nudity if take a selfie in a t-shirt and jeans.)

So, with all of this jealousy, all of which is taken out on me, things have gotten worse over time. We've fought over men trying to flirt with me, with it being "me not shooting them down 'hard enough'", things like that, and it had come to the point that I was basically "not allowed" to speak to any males. Even male friends that I had conversations with were met with a disapproving, passive aggressive attitude and snide remarks about how they're "just trying to gently caress me" and that "no one wants to be my friend, they just want to get in my pants" "no guy wants to just be friends with a girl, you're so stupid and naive", etc. I got to the point where I was even afraid to have a text conversation with a male friend. He would go through my phone when I wasn't in the room, and I caught him multiple times and asked him what he was doing. He seemed ashamed at first, claimed it was because his ex cheated on him with a guy she was texting, and that she'd always turn her phone over and it was a trigger for him. I tried to respect that, keep my phone "up", but never had anything to hide.

Then, things went too far. I usually keep my phone charging beside my bed, and one night I had had a few drinks and wound up with it underneath my pillow. Multiple times, I've woken up to zero notifications, only to find that I had a bunch of notifications and texts, but the phone had obviously been unlocked and searched through so the notifications had disappeared. I tried to ignore it, but I actually woke up to him rummaging underneath my pillow in an attempt to get into my phone.. I asked him what was going on and he was drunk and indignant, asking why I was "hiding my phone". I rolled my eyes and rolled over and tried to ignore it. Things escalated and we got in a huge fight. This continued to happen, and I got increasingly more protective of my phone because he would NOT. STOP. GOING. THROUGH. EVERYTHING. I have absolutely nothing to hide, but I feel like he should respect that people should have their own things and be entitled to a certain degree of privacy.

We've had this same fight more times than I can count, and he's gone to the point of threatening my male friends that I've had platonic conversations with (I've never cheated on him and never would in a million years, and I've asked him if he believes that, and he said he does, so I do not understand this AT ALL). Every time we have this fight, I tell him to stop, and he says he will. Then he does it again. When I've pressed him about it, he's said that he's not going to stop, and that "people in relationships shouldn't have anything to hide" "my sister and her husband have an open phone policy" - like that matters to me?

Anyways, I love him, I really do, but I am so sick of feeling like I am always doing something wrong by simply having a cell phone. I feel like a criminal that needs to have inspections done with a parole officer, and I didn't even do anything to deserve this. I've never cheated, and never would. I don't know what his incessant desire is with my phone and going through my things, but I don't know how much more I can take. It's actually pushed me away more than anything.

TL/DR I love my boyfriend but he goes through my phone while I'm asleep and defends his actions despite me never having done anything to warrant this type of behaviour.

quote:

Me [22F] with my boyfriend [25M] obsessed with cartoon characters

I've always known he has had a 'thing' for cartoon characters and always laughed it off but now things have become more serious, he has been printing off more pictures of cartoon characters than usual. He's also been looking at those giant cardboard cut outs on Ebay. He said cartoon characters really 'turn him on' and not to be jealous. I'm not jealous, just really weirded out. Surely it's not normal?? He mainly prints out Looney Tunes characters.

Edit: He also told me that when he younger he had make believe fantasy relationships with cartoon characters. Apparently the only people who know about this are his Mom and myself.

TL;DR: Boyfriend obsessed with cartoon characters

quote:

The only games he liked to play are the crane games. Which he played like a loving crack addict. He would pump $20 into a machine and keep grabbing the SAME drat SPOT hoping for it to work. I offered some advice but he wasnt having it. Then, it happened. After watching him fail 5x in a row I reached for the controls saying "Here, let me try to-"

"NO!"

"ITS MINE! What are you trying to do?! Steal my GLORY!?"

Literally screamed this in my face.

Subjunctive posted:

If she were a white belt and he a brown belt, people wouldn't be saying he should only spar with white belts. Even if he wasn't a professional martial artist. Similarly nobody would tell a cyclist to always ride slower because his girlfriend wasn't as fast -- he'd be told to go slow when they were together, and balls-out in other races.

It's two activities that happen to use the same software. Treat it like two activities. He could create a second account for playing with her if he doesn't want to hurt his stats.

Pearnicious posted:

Cryotherapy for b-hole stank?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Barudak posted:

The corect response is, unironically,, to tell the woman that he wants to open up their relationship.

MF_James posted:

snakes tired? It's gonna be hungry one day and that loving kid will be a good looking meal.

Haifisch posted:

Me [24F] with my SO [27M] of 1 year, he destroyed a sentimental item of mine and sees nothing wrong with it because of the circumstances.


[Update] Me [24F] with my SO [27M] of 1 year, he destroyed a sentimental item of mine and sees nothing wrong with it because of the circumstances.

WampaLord posted:

If she still wants to be friends after all that and isn't distancing herself from the weird guy who gave a drunken love confession, she might actually be into him on some level???

Granted, she might just be saying that so as to remain civil and is planning on freezing him out.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Ah yes, the tech industry. Where the reaction to "my coworkers are sending me anonymous hate mail about my husband" is to question whether you should do anything


My [32 F] coworkers are teasing my because my husband [25 M] of four years is younger. What should I do?Non-Romantic

quote:

On a Saturday morning, coffee in hand, I turned on HBO. All week, I'd been waiting to watch Montage of Heck, a documentary about Kurt Cobain. I have been a huge Nirvana fan since I was a teenager. I set the volume to a level that’s needed to enjoy grunge music and sat down. I was so engrossed that I didn’t notice my husband until he was directly in my line of sight.

“What is this?” he asked, looking rather confused.

I paused the show and explained my fervor for alternative rock. To my surprise, that conversation did not end there. He kept asking more questions and offered unsolicited suggestions.

“You should watch TED talks. They are more useful,” came one of his proposals; this was followed by recommendations for podcasts, books, and even programming languages that I could be mastering instead.

“They are not comparable. I’m not looking to kill time. I deliberately want to watch this,” I retorted. As a compromise, I offered to lower the volume. But he remained perplexed by the music's appeal to me. The back-and forth intensified, patience dwindled, giving way to undiluted frustration. We started to talk past each other.

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I (36M) think my wife of 8 years (31F) is having an affair with our couples therapist (42M)

Throw away for obvious reasons.

So my wife and I have been having some communication issues for about a year or so and started to see a marriage counselor about 7 months ago. At first it’s good and we start communicating better.

About three months ago she starts going to extra sessions for “self care”. Alone.

Around this time our couples sessions that happen with all three of us together (about three months ago) become much more one sided with me being the “bad guy” and the two of them kind of teaming up on me.

She starts telling her friends about “Danny” and how great he is for her “self care” but if her friends seem interested in making an appointment she says “he only does couples” or “he’s not taking new clients”which I think is weird because we have normally referred to him as “Dr. Soandso” and now he is suddenly “Danny”. (I don’t know if he is actually not taking new clients.)

Around the time they started teaming up on me in the sessions (about three months ago) was around the last time my wife and I were intimate.

There have been a couple of other weird coincidences that I thought were puzzling, but three nights ago my wife said she had an emergency with her sister and had to go see her right away. She went to the bathroom and showered and put on perfume and left. It was about 9;30 at night and that seemed REALLY odd to me.

About a half hour later I tracked her iPhone and the location showed up as his office.

When she came home 3 hours later, I asked how her sister was and she kind of gave a weird “oh you know Jenny, drama queen” kind of answer.

I think I’m going to confront them in the session this Thursday.

quote:

I have a suspicion that she created a second Facebook account to communicate with him as she suddenly has a second yahoo email. She is getting ready for bed and I am going to see if I can open her new email and find out about the second Facebook tonight. I came home the other day and she was in her bra and panties in our bedroom (not the oddest thing in the world) but I think she was sending him pictures through Facebook.

There have been a couple of other odd little things but up until the other day I thought I was being paranoid, so I wrote them off as such.

She tends to “go work out” after her solo sessions and most always returns home from the gym freshly showered.

Again, not so weird on its own, but everything together has me pretty convinced.

quote:

She has a second Facebook. I did a “forgot password” jailbreak through her second email account.

There are some pretty filthy private messages from some guy’s account (I’m assuming his but with a made up name) that coordinate with her solo sessions. I feel sick to my stomach. They are very descriptive messages about different acts. The first message from almost two months ago is “come over and taste it again” with her response being “give me twenty minutes”

I CANT BELIEVE IVE BEEN KISSING THAT MOUTH.

Im pretty sure it’s him. I want to go wake her up and get this over with but might sit a think about it a while.

I might delete this reddit profile. Thanks everyone.

quote:

Well I just took three shots of jack and told my boss I won’t be into the office tomorrow. Going to pass out drunk on the couch and pretend I stayed up all night drinking. I want to punch this guy in the loving teeth so bad right now.

Ugh, I’m a loving rollercoaster of emotion right now.

quote:

Fucker just messaged the Facebook “I see you’re online, miss the thickness?”

Holy Christ it’s taking all my willpower not to reply. I just really want to find out if it’s “Danny” or some other loving guy.

I mean, she’s going to know the password was changed, and I’m pretty drunk and almost euphoric that this is going to be behind me.