Antivehicular posted:

I want to know the story of how exactly one of these women had a child. Was a hospital kidnapping involved?

Reddit User posted:

I'm really curious, what happened to your boyfriends father??

OP posted:

Apparently it was a sperm donor situation. That's what the mom says at least

OP in the same thread posted:

Seeing how they interact together has absolutely made me question if they have some sort of incestuous relationship going on. They seem to have no boundaries with each other. They do often sleep in the same bed and it is not uncommon for them to go into the shower together. It is hard because most people dismiss their behavior saying 'oh they are just old women', but I don't think so.

OP posted:

Ha! That would actually make me pretty happy if they were just pretending to be sisters. But they definitely are because they look like twins and have lots of pictures of them as children. I especially hate their whispering back and forth when I am trying to talk to them. Like it makes it so I can never have a true conversation with them or get to know them as individuals.

OP posted:

Yes at night they will leave the house to walk around a park attached to their apartment complex. They also go out very early in the morning and steal vegetables from neighboring gardens. I meant they don't go out and do like activities unless we compel them to.

Gaunab posted:

A lot of depressing stories in r/relationships today. This isn't one of them.

HardDiskD posted:

pull up! pull up!

Marriage what to do ?


Update:


Communication saves the day again.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeff summary: I hate my girlfriend because she is extremely sexy and kind

Cumslut1895 posted:

you got me: I'm black. I'm sorry. (not john pop tho)

quote:

We are in a long-distance relationship for 1 year. Last week he visited me and one night we were cuddling in bed and he said he wants to marry me. I said I also want to build up something good with him. Now the thing is we often talk about the future, we already expressed before we want to get married and have kids etc., so I didn't think much of it. But a few days later it turns out he told his parents he proposed to me, and I said yes! I want to marry him in the future, but right now we both still live with family, I have to finish my degree, we both need to find a job, ... Plus I feel very young, this is my first serious relationship and we are together for just 1 year. I don't feel ready at all. He is very shocked that I don't want this, he says I've always acted like I wanted this and I have been leading him on. He doesn't understand if I love him, why I wouldn't marry him. He's from a culture with arranged marriages, so for him 1 year is a long time and he doesn't understand the need for stability first. In his culture, marriage provides stability, so finding someone you like is sufficient. I don't want to lose him but I'm also scared of marrying too soon. How can I make him understand my point of view and convince him to give this more time?
tl;dr: My boyfriend wants to marry me, but I don't think we are ready. He sees no point in continuing. How can I convince him it's worth the wait?

quote:

Edit: We both cooled off a bit and were able to have a normal, not emotionally overloaded conversation. While he still wishes it to be different, he could now understand my position and promised not to push me anymore on the subject. We will see how it goes, at least it has been a good learning experience.

Tears In A Vial posted:

quote:

Earlier in my relationship my dogs loved my boyfriend, he would play with them, he would take them for walks but recently they hate him. It's like if he comes near my son they are fully prepared to take a chunk out of him. My dogs have never had a problem with anyone, people always comment how gentle they are.

My boyfriend does not live with us and he babysits brad sometimes when I am at work.

This started two weeks he came over for dinner and the moment he walked into Brads room they ran up the stairs, ran right past me and into his room. The were showing their teeth, growling, barked when he tried to enter the room.

This was so unlike them, I have never seen them angry before this and they did not stop until he was out of sight. They don't do this with anyone else, even brad friends father was here the other day and they were perfectly friendly with him. They have never met the man before.

Every time my boyfriend is here they both sit with brad, if my boyfriend even walks past the room the growl. The dogs love brad really I have never had a problem, they carry his toys to him. They always want us to play

They never have a problem with me coming near brad, they always want me to play with them. If they see me playing with brad they just go back to sleep. It's literally only my boyfriend
Am I right to think something is up and he did something to brad?

tl;dr: Dogs hate boyfriend all of a sudden and won't let him come near brad (my son).

Edit Hi, yeah so the dogs were right. My boyfriend basically broke up with me when I confronted him about it, he basically said he gave brad a "light" tap on his hand and the dogs freaked out when he did it. I finally got the truth out of him after he continued to lie, half the things he said made no sense. I am sure the light tap is bullshit and he hit him hard He broke up with me, but honestly I can't say I am sad that he is out of my life

Zzulu posted:

I quite frankly just don't see the need to hug my friends or sit extremely close to them and rub up against them like girls seem comfortable doing with their friends

what is even the point of that

Zzulu posted:

other men are a threat

quote:

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. We met through a mutual friend. Everything was going so well. 2 months ago he went to the hospital for a routine check-up and he told me they found 2 spots on his left lung and they want to investigate it more. When I met him he looked weak and depressed, it was all very believable. He goes back to do more scans, and a month ago a biopsy which confirms he has stage 1 lung cancer and a lung cyst. I become extremely depressed, start taking sleep medication, anxiety medication, I’m forced to tell my boss and my colleagues my bf has lung cancer because I frequently miss work to go see him when he feels “down”. Sometimes he would cancel our meetings last minute because he’s depressed and does not want to see anyone. I would not even be mad, because I only think about his well-being and whatever made him happy. I really stopped living for myself and was at his complete disposal.
2 weeks ago we were supposed to spend the weekend together. I go clubbing with my friends on Friday evening (he wasn’t available) and when I tell him in the morning he tells me he was sick all night, vomiting and coughing blood, and he sent me messages to which I did not reply to (I did not receive any message from him that night). He tells me he is going to get hospitalized in a clinic, his grandpa was going with him, he had a pleural effusion (liquid in the lung) and had tubes coming out of his throat. The next day he didn’t reply to one of my texts so I called his grandpa. His grandpa more or less says “Oh your bf is at home, he is not hospitalized, why the gently caress are you even calling me ? lolbye”
My whole world shatters in that moment. I call my boyfriend and ask him “Is your grandpa by your side” and he replies yeah he is. I call the clinic and they tell me they never heard about this person.
He was lying.
I realized he never let me go with him to his appointments; he never let me see his medical record. I felt so stupid. I started questioning everything he ever told me. Like the fact he owned a small company that specialized in training future fitness coaches (It was believable because he is muscular as gently caress and knows a fuckload about fitness). I called the administration and his company didn’t even exist. I called a friend who works for the ministry of finance in my country and it turns out my bf never even paid any taxes in his life. If his job didn”t exist then where does he get his money from ? He always treats me to nice restaurants and buys me gifts.
I confronted him, telling him I wanted to break up (on the phone). He became verbally violent, then started crying, then confessed the cancer lie (but not the lie about his job). He accepted to see a therapist with me, we have an appointment tomorrow. Whenever I bring up his job he becomes super angry, inventing imaginary clients, employees and colleagues that don’t even exist.
I’m really under shock… I want to know if there is hope since he accepted to see a therapist ? I still love him very much and I can’t bring myself to break up with him….
Tl;dr: BF (23) lied about having lung cancer and his profession. He accepted to see a therapist. Is there hope ?

Mirthless posted:

the problem is that the phrase originated on reddit, which is largely the same place the alt-right originated. of course there's going to be overlap. there's no racist meaning to the phrase and attributing it to racism or racists is dumb.

seriously it's like you guys look for reasons to get mad about poo poo sometimes

Pick posted:

I do remember someone I met in grad school asking if I "thought black people had souls"

I mean, I don't believe in souls, so I guess the answer is "no", but... but that didn't feel like the right answer

Bonster posted:

She's bipolar, and even after treatment decided she wants nothing to do with the kids. Like, not even stopping by on their birthdays.

quote:

Here's the OP. Tl;dr is that my wife, a SAHM with plenty of outlets and time away from the kids, told me she didn't love our daughters and casually mentioned that she was looking to adopt them out so that we could play newlyweds again. I was blown away and took my daughters to safety at my mother's house after my wife went to bed.

I second-guessed myself a little after the initial responses I was getting from my first post. I didn't expect anybody to side with my wife. I should have given more information from the start but I didn't realize all that stuff would be relevant. I thought that from the fact that she was trying to adopt out our kids without my knowledge people would realize that the issue was with her. (I'm not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but I took a lot of unwarranted criticism.) Anyway, after I elaborated on our situation a little more, I got a ton of helpful advice and support! Thank you to everyone who commented, or sent me a pm. I took a lot of the advice to heart.

This update is going to be long. A lot of really crazy poo poo has happened.

I'm in the process of finding a live-in nanny now, and I appreciate everyone who suggested it. Yesterday I contacted a lawyer for advice, and then bit the bullet and called my wife. One of my close friends lives a few houses down, so I explained the situation and had him on standby. I left my daughters with my mom and came back to the house to meet with her.

She was absolutely furious. The first words out of her mouth were "Where the gently caress have you been, you piece of poo poo?" When I got to the house, she berated me for leaving without saying a word to her or answering the phone. She accused me of cheating on her, called me a pig and an rear end in a top hat, and ranted for a good fifteen minutes straight. She didn't say a word about the kids. Didn't ask me where they were, or if I had taken them. It's like she had forgotten they existed.

I cut her off, told her where I had been and that I had taken the girls to my mother's house. She seemed caught off guard. She asked me why. I explained to her that the way she had talked about adopting them out was not acceptable, and since she didn't care about them I didn't think they were safe around her.

She blinked, and said, word for word, "wait, you want to keep them? Don't you love me?" I lost it. I'm not proud of it but I couldn't hold it together, reddit. It devolved into a screaming fight with me telling her she was loving insane and her yelling that I didn't love her. I went through the house and packed up all my valuables and personal documents with her screaming her head off at me the whole time. My friend came in to try and calm her down, but she threw a plate at him and told him to get the gently caress out.

At this point I called the cops. She dug her hole deeper by punching one of the cops, and then biting the other once she was cuffed. I am now 100% certain that she's having some kind of psychotic break. She will be evaluated soon, but either way I'm going through with the divorce. I doubt I'll have any trouble getting full custody, especially with that call to the adoption agency on her phone records.

After my wife was arrested, I cleaned up the house and brought my daughters back home. They haven't asked where mommy is yet, but I don't know what to tell them when they do. I'm looking into taking a lower responsibility role at work, at least to where I'm not gone for a whole week at a time. I will still be heavily reliant on a nanny, but I can't stand the thought of my daughters not having a parent there to put them to bed every night.

tl;dr: Got a lawyer. Met with my wife. She thought I had cheated on her, basically didn't even realize the girls weren't home. When I told her I wasn't okay with adopting out our daughters, she accused me of not loving her, and then assaulted my friend when he came to help smooth things over. I called the cops, she got arrested, sucker punched one cop and bit another. I am divorcing her, seeking full custody, and dialing back my work schedule.

EDIT Growing up my father was a schizophrenic. I'm not interested in putting my daughters through what I went through. Even if she gets treatment, it will be a constant worry for me. If she had cancer, or some other illness, it wouldn't affect her love for our daughters. I wouldn't have to worry that she would murder them or abandon them or hurt them when I wasn't around. That's the difference.

EDIT 2 I called my mom and she said she told my daughters that their mommy had to go on a trip for a little while. That's why they haven't asked about her so far.

quote:

Previous post tl;dr Met with my wife. didn't even realize the girls weren't home. She accused me of not loving her, then assaulted my friend. I called the cops, she got arrested, sucker punched one cop and bit another.

It's been a good while since my last update, but things are progressing so I figured I'd post something.

My wife has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is undergoing extensive therapy and trying to work out her legal issues as well. I'm still not sure what direction that is going to take, my wife's parents have been helping her with legal arrangements as she refuses help from me, and didn't even want to use my insurance to help with her medical bills. (She ended up having to anyway, and I've been sending her parents money to help with paying what's left over). We mutually decided to go ahead with the divorce. She didn't want custody of our daughters, or even visitation. I practically begged her to at least come to their birthdays and holidays, but she said no. I'm hoping that it's a symptom of her illness and that once she progresses through her treatment enough she will change her mind, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I found a wonderful au pair who is fantastic with my daughters. According to her, they're very self sufficient and don't need much help with keeping themselves entertained or anything really. I suspect my wife had been ignoring the girls even when I wasn't around.

They've been constantly asking me when mommy is coming back and I don't know what to tell them. I have to try really hard not to cry in front of them because I don't want them to worry about me. We've been going to family therapy together but still haven't found a way to explain that mommy might never come back, or she may show back up and not be nice, or she may show back up and be her old self again.

My friend (the one she threw a plate at) and his wife and kids have been hanging out at my place a lot to keep us all company. He's been a godsend throughout this whole experience. He decided not to press charges against my wife for the plate thing.

This will probably be my last update. The feedback I've gotten from you guys has really helped to ground me during these events. Even just getting validation that I'm not crazy helped. Thanks for everything, reddit.

tl;dr: Wife is sorting out her legal issues on her own by choice. Turns out she's bipolar, but after medication and therapy still doesn't want anything to do with our girls. I don't know how to explain things to them even in therapy, but my friend and his family have really been there for us during this hard time.

Pick posted:

I'd take two hundred lizards over one bird.

I'm sorry hiac and tendai, but... birds... are so loving loud