- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My girlfriend (27F) of a year's dumpster has a possum infestation. I (28M) am set to move in next week and I found out she's purposely feeding them.
This morning though I stopped by on my way to work to drop off some more stuff and she wasn't there but the kitchen door was open. When I looked out below I saw my girlfriend down near the dumpster tossing food into it and there were several possums around her. A couple in the dumpster that I could see, at least a couple others waiting behind it while she threw pieces of leftover pizza from this weekend into it. Not in garbage bags, just the pizza by itself. She was feeding the possums and talking to them like they were pets, saying stuff like "Here you go, sweet babies".
quote:My [28/F] roommate [29/F] is social media-obsessed and keeps posting photos and videos of me without my consent.
She posts a lot on Snapchat. Every mundane, semi-interesting, and exciting moment is documented, from her meal prep, to her nieces and nephews, to every "cheers" our friends do when we go out for drinks. Apparently she thinks I'm hilarious, so she records me constantly. She always has her phone in hand. Sometimes we'll be having a conversation, I'll make her laugh, and I won't even realize she'd been recording me until I check out Snapchat before bed. There have been videos of me dancing while I clean, in my pajamas wearing a face mask and glasses, she's even recorded me singing in the shower from the other side of the bathroom door.
quote:My 26F Husband 29M of 4 years thinks its weird I've never had the urge to kill someone, he says that is normal?
Ok so this is really weird. I don't really know where to start. So this morning he was mentioning how he doesn't like reading news stories where people get murdered and how his friends are really into slender man.
I mentioned I read the story of the two girls who stabbed their classmate for slender man. He got really offended I read news articles about murder. Like so offended you would have thought I said something horrible about his mother or something.
I asked him why it was such a big deal to him that if I see a news article about murder that I read it. He said because he doesn't want those articles to make me actually kill someone (bare with me, this sounds like a joke but its not). I told him I have never had the urge to kill someone? He said that it is normal and everyone has that urge.
I clarified with him if he meant like you are so mad you say it sarcastically or if it is a real urge and he said it is a real urge. He told me I was lying when I said I never wanted to kill someone.
I feel really weird now, he is a really normal happy guy who has had a good vanilla normal life. Should I urge him to go to therapy. This is all so weird.
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2016 09:02
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2024 15:21
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
This woman has landed on a goldmine
quote:The parents [30sF&M] of the children I [19F] nanny for are cheating on each other and asking me to stay quiet about it and not tell the other spouse about it. They are offering me lots of money.
About 3 weeks ago, Rachel was in New York for the week (Tuesday-Sunday). James happened to be gone Monday-Wednesday, but was home for the rest of the week. I worked my typical hours, and he asked me if I could work Friday night. I agreed. Well that night, around 2 (2 hours later than I typically work) James comes home drunk and has another woman in his arms. The other woman, sober, helps James get to the bedroom and tells him she'll be there in a moment. She then came out to talk to me. I didn't really know what to say to her, as I was in shock. I've never been faced with something like this before. The woman pulls out her wallet to get the money to pay me, and while doing so she says something along the lines of, "I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to the wife." I noticed she slipped an extra 50 dollars into it. Confused, I just accepted the money and left. It was not a situation I wanted to be in, and I figured maybe this was a one time thing on James' part.
Well Saturday morning, James asks me to come over and watch the kids for him during the day so he can run errands. No problem. I head over and before he leaves the house he stops me and tells me if I don't tell Rachel about the other woman (or any other woman he brings) he will pay me an extra 10 dollars an hour. I told him I would get back to him on his offer, he left and when he returned he didn't bring it up again. That was three weeks ago, and I have yet to see James as he is currently in Japan until the end of the month.
Last night I was supposed to watch the kids until 11, but Rachel didn't come home until 12. I was a little upset, since I have classes early on Thursday mornings and I'm the kind of person who NEEDS their full nights sleep, otherwise my day will be crappy. So anyways, she comes home (sober) with another man (sober). She pulls out her checkbook and as she's about to pay me she mentions if James ever asks what time she ever comes home, tell him 11. She also asks I don't tell him about Mark. This dude, Mark, is just in the corner of the room, clearly uncomfortable, saying nothing even when I'm staring him down. Rachel adds an extra 60 dollars to my check, and tells me there's "more for if I keep quiet".
She goes on a bit more about the "guilt" of deceiving the children, but w/e girl, take the money, keep blackmailing both sides
EDIT: I love the mundane ones like this
quote:My wife [31f] won't give me [32m] head massages.
We've been together for about three years now, married ~year. She refuses to give me head massages. Simple like massaging the scalp. I give her a foot massage at least 2 times a week and a back rub/back massage every other night.
I'm not going to divorce her or anything radical like that, but drat I'm getting annoyed and feel like it's not fair. When I stop the massages she gets huffy, annoyed etc.
tl;dr I enjoy giving my wife massages but am getting frustrated that she doesn't return the favor and threatening to stop makes her angry Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Sep 30, 2016
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 05:03
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
These two pair very well together:
quote:'bro and buddy' are the only words of affection my boyfriend [26M] of 2 years uses on me [24F]. is this weird ?
We both havent been in a relationship before this, so my knowledge is lacking a little. I just wanted to see if its normal for people to not use pet names or words of affection towards each other.
I mean he tells me that he loves me but he only ever addresses me with my name, "bro", "buddy" or "mate". So a typical sentence from him would be "bro I love you so much" or "buddy you look nice..."
Hes never called me anything sweet. I mean I sort of followed his lead and generally call him by name but ive been trying to use other words such as honey, sweetheart.
Should I be concerned about this, is this normal ?
tl;dr: boyfriend doesn't call me anything sweet instead calls me buddy, bro and mate. is this odd ?
quote:Me 25F with man I'm dating 27M for a couple weeks, he keeps using cutesy language that makes my vagina cringe
I've been on a few dates with a man who seems like the kind of person I'd like to be with (or at least give a shot). However, increasingly frequently he keeps using cutesy language in messages that makes me physically cringe and is dries up every sexual thought I've ever had and ever will have. I know that some people like this kind of thing, but I absolutely hate it. Some examples are using terms like "would you like a kissy wissy?" "I'm a hungry hippo today" "I message willy nilly" "that was a jokey". I found these direct quotes by reading texts from the last 2 hours. He doesn't even use them in flirty conversations, just your normal catching up texts.
To me it just makes me think he's a pathetic toddler, when I like grown rear end men. Just talk to him right? I said to him I hate it when you say that and he thought I was joking. I said it again "When you talk like that it makes my vagina want to die", similar response. I tried not responding to those types of messages and it made no difference.
I don't know what to do, am I being crazy for it bothering me so much? To me it is the sexual equivalent of a man dressing in my nan's clothes with a turd in his underwear. I've been really struggling to meet normal, poo poo together men so I feel I'm being too picky writing him off, but I absolutely cannot stand it. How do I proceed?
tl;dr: Man I'm dating for some lunatic reason keeps talking like a toddler and it makes my womb sad. What should I do?
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2016 14:25
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
listen to this delusional idiot
quote:Me [36 M] can't get over a girl (22)...who fired me
This situation is so stupid, and I feel like such an idiot for still obsessing over it, that I've decided to stop lurking on reddit after 10 years and scream it into the void in hopes of finding closure.
Background: I'm 36, married, with 3 kids. Also self employed in blue collar work. Moneys not tight but its not plentiful either. One of my clients is a hotel/event center. The manager likes me and years ago he asked if i would like to do some event work. I agreed and found it to be kinda fun...I just generally helped out every once in awhile. Made lots of friends and really liked it.
Then she came along.
It had been at least a year since i had done an event, but they were extremely short staffed so the hotel manager himself called and practically begged me to come in. When i got there I met the new "banquet manager", (a position that had previously been held by all manner of meth heads and crack addicts) and to my great surprise she was not only very smart and capable, she was also stunningly beautiful. Not hyperbole to say one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, celebrities included.
As fate would have it, there were basically no bartenders left on the staff, wedding season was approaching, my work was slowing down, and I had plenty of bartending experience. It was meant to be...this silly, stupid tragedy/farce.
I started working there much more often, and I LOVED it. My regular job is so boring, but i think bartending is fun. And i got to see lil miss gorgeous running around so that was just icing on the cake.
Now i have to divulge this info, please don't think I'm bragging, but I'm a decent lookin guy. I'm tall (6'5) and my whole life people have said I look like Tom Hanks, (decent looking, not amazing) so there you go. I only bring it up because usually when i work with girls there is inevitably some attraction there especially when they find out i'm stable and hard working, etc.
Well, it began happening in this case too. I was great at the job. I was getting compliments from every party, from every manager and She was asking me to work every event. The more I worked the more it seemed she was starting to crush on me. Now, full disclosure, I realized I was developing feelings for her too, but I knew it was insane. We were both happily married and thats that. Nothing ever became of it, other than glances and smiles...(and that one time she pretended to be my wife so a horrid wildebeest would leave me alone). I would say we were workplace friendly. more than formal, but not overtly flirty.
Then came the bad weekend. There was a terrible event that just drug on forever, nobody drank so i made no money, and I had already worked like 80 hours at my real job that week and was just fried. She started getting on my case over something, and i thought she was just joking, so i joked back and feelings got hurt, awkwardness ensued which lead to misunderstanding, misunderstanding led to more hurt feelings, and at the end of the night i left in a huff because she hosed up the till and had (what she later claimed was an accident) shorted me $40. After I left she called and said she found the mistake and was pretty obviously mad.
The next night was another event and i came in and apologized profusely right away. I said i was wrong and it wouldnt happen again. She was still pretty mad, but said it was ok.
BUT, Then she proceeded to do the mad girl thing: treat you bad and glare at you all night, and say things to other people just loud enough for you to hear that are obviously a message to you, etc. Finally by the end of the night i had had enough and started to turn her act around on her. While helping her set up for the next event I acted all boorish and left again in a huff.
the next week she fired me by text message and refused to answer the phone when i called. so i went in to talk to her. we hashed the whole thing out, and by the end we were smiling at each other again. she hugged me and said she was glad i had come in.
then the next week she fired me by text message again. Nothing had changed, i hadn't seen her since. This time i texted back to ask why and she said she felt "i wasn't a team player" ( I never missed a shift, I had gotten them another good employee, and I had been personally thanked by the actual manager 3 separate times for my performance). then she wrote me an offcial letter, listing my "offences" (wildly exaggerated) and stating she would NEVER hire me again. (which she loving hadn't in the first place) As an aside, i had seen her break so many rules that i'm almost positive that i could've gotten her fired if i'd wanted to...but i just let the silly girl get her way.
4 months later she moved away, and now the place has neither one of us, and its gone downhill fast.
i have thought about this weird rear end situation every day for more than a year. hashing over it every way possible. its sad, its pathetic. it meant nothing, it wasnt important at all...i found another part time bartending gig that same day, my personal and family life is better than ever....yet still, she will not get out of my head. I still see the way she smiled and looked down when i looked up and caught her gazing at me....god dammit there she is again...
What can be done? reddit pseudo psychiatrists please help!
Did anyone actually read all this nonsense? :p
tl;dr:
I just realized this part or my life was a rom/com with no actual rom or com.
EDIT: Spacing
a 36 year old man obsessing over a 22 year old manager who probably never thought about him twice
|
|
#
¿
Oct 6, 2016 08:18
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Me [23 M] caught off guard from her sarcasm [19 F], how to recover?
I asked a girl to do a user study on my school project and give feedback on our college campus. Since I'm used to hearing constructive criticism, I'm accustomed to concrete words on how to make it better and stuff. Shortly after we started, she was being fairly sarcastic about stuff in my project. Stupid me mentioned how I thought she was being serious and she said something along the lines of how she would stop the sarcasm. It completely caught me off guard because she hadn't really been sarcastic to me in the past. I felt like I missed a good opportunity to be playful and fun.
However, I would say the rest of the "date" went quite well. She had brought a rubik's cube, which we both like solving and she laughed so much while I was teaching her a new way to do it. This lasted about 45 minutes. Did a lot of playing with her hair and stuff while we were talking. I did feel a slight sense of she was done towards the end of it though, and she didn't reply to my Snapchat the next day.
In addition, a man stopped me on our way out and I introduced her to him as my "friend". Was that bad? I mean obviously she is my friend but yeah.
We are both the same major (computer science), nerds, musicians, obviously have a lot in common.
What should I do to recover from this situation? Is it as easy as being sarcastic myself to show her that I get sarcasm? Or maybe something else?
tl;dr: If a girl tried being sarcastic and stopped because I didn't really pick up on it, how do I recover?
edit: another one along the same lines. how many of these idiots are there
quote:I [27/M] think I hosed it up with a friend [22/F], what can I do to salvage it?
So I know this girl since May. We're pretty good friends, we hang out every once in a while together, and talk to each other on a weekly basis.
Anyways, this Saturday night she agreed to hang out with me. I picked her up and we went to a party together. I wasn't feeling it since it wasn't as poppin as I hope it was. But I tried to enjoy myself.
Whenever I'm bored, nervous, or just want to escape, I mindlessly scroll my Facebook feed. It's like a nervous tick almost. I did that the entire time.
Towards the end, it was 2:30 and I just wanted to get back home. I kinda kept pushing the issue of rolling out. Not in an aggressive rear end in a top hat way, but more of like.. Whenever there was a lul, I'd sometimes be like "So uhmm. Yea, I kinda wanted to get going."
We eventually left. I was nervously checking my FB feed while at a redlight. I thought my foot was all the way on the break, but I guess not since I almost softly rear-ended someone.
I dropped her off. And she said "It was good chillin. See you soon." (probably didn't mean it, probably was just being polite.) I started nervously checking my FB feed again, and said "You too." And then she ogt out and didn't give me a hug like last time.
I then felt so bummed out for completly bombing this date. Women never agree to hang out with me one on one seeing I have a hard time developing close connections especially with women.
So whenever I drove her back home, I just went 90 down the free way without a seatbelt, I kinda was hoping I would kill myself. But I guess it didn't happen. I really want to somehow salvage it with this girl.
TL;DR: Hung out with female friend. She left without giving me a hug. I think I bombed it for seeming bored/uninterested. But I really do like her. What should I do? Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 10:33 on Oct 30, 2016
|
|
#
¿
Oct 30, 2016 10:31
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Me [24 F] with my BF [24 M] almost 3 months, he receives hearts from girls on fb messages
I'm trying to not let this bother me but it's the second time I see hearts sent from girls to him on FB messages (I was just talking to him and he had fb inbox open). How can I let it not bother me? I know I can be the super jealous and controlling type but I'm trying to channel that energy into work instead so I don't destroy this relationship, but sometimes it's even hard to focus on work when poo poo like this goes on in the back of my head. We talked but I still don't feel comfortable. What kind of thoughts can I put in my head to replace these jealous/controlling? How do I bury these feelings?
tl;dr: 2nd time seeing boyfriend receive hearts from girls on FB messages. It bothers me a gently caress tonne.
I really like this person who, unlike everyone else on this subreddit, actually knows how to be concise.
quote:I [34F] asked my friend [40 M/F] to stop griping about his wife and he got angry
Pretty much what the title said. I nicely asked my long time friend to stop bitching about his wife to me, because it was annoying and I'm also friends with her and he got angry saying it was "no big deal". Texted him twice, no response. Is that a normal reaction?
tl;dr: Friend got mad that I don't want to hear about his wife. I'm at a loss.
edit: haha this person has already deleted their post, guess they realised what an idiot they sounded like
quote:Friend and coworker [29 F] told me [28 F] she's dating another coworker [? M] – I don't know how to deal with it.
I've known her from my last workplace and somehow we ended up working together again at a different company. She sees me as a close friend, I, not so much lately. Today, she told me that she was afraid of telling me in person that she's now "kinda" dating another coworker of us. (Not to mention, that she just recently broke up with her boyfriend and we've talked about it, I supported her and so on.)
I'm still furious, so please excuse my grammar. I'm the only one knowing about it, so she told me. She wanted to tell me as her best friend, because she wants to talk about everything with me. Now, stop there for a minute. She hasn't been there for me for a long time and we haven't really been "talking" – so I don't exactly know where she's basing these opinions on. Anyways… I might project some old childhood issues (divorced parents, cheating father, the usual stuff...) into this constellation, but I'm really bothered by her telling me about this stupid rear end secret. To make this worse, I'm working closely with her affair fling or whatever this is. Arrr, I'm just so angry. I don't want to know about stupid coworker love affairs flings that have to be secret. She doesn't even understand why I'm feeling uncomfortable, so there's no bother in trying to explain it again to her. Ugh, maybe I'm just overreacting.
tl;dr: friend of mine and coworker has something going on with another coworker (we all work together, figures) – told me about it, now I feel uncomfortable about this being a secret and the only one knowing about it.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 30, 2016 22:28
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Me [23F] with my SO [24 M] of 5 years who I love but who I've been emotionally abusive towards recently
I know it sounds bad, but please read the whole post!
There's a lot more to it, but I am very in love with my boyfriend who is nothing but amazing. Yet, recently I haven't treated him the way he deserves to be treated and find myself to be very emotionally abusive when it comes to our arguments. (Gas-lighting, sometimes giving the cold shoulder, outburts, etc.) But throughout our relationship, I have improved massively but feel this might not be enough.
Our most recent argument was over his lady friend he gets along with that I get insanely jealous of and upset whenever he would bring her up. I don't stop them from hanging out, but he can tell I'm very upset when he leaves to hang out with his friends and leaves me at home alone. I felt very dependent on him especially since we moved and I haven't been able to make any friends since, but his friends happen to live in the area so he's been having a great time.
I'm doing my best to change my ways, going out alone, going to therapy, and we are taking a short break to get me to sort my things out, but I am worried my behavior will return and that our relationship will end because of it. Is breaking up in the end the right thing to do?
tl;dr: I feel like my emotionally abusive behavior towards my boyfriend has ceased, but worry it will come back after our temporary break. I love him more than anything, but I don't know if I should still try to make our relationship work or if I should prevent more damage from happening?
there's a lot going on there
quote:My boyfriend (23) frustrates me (f23) when he plays c.o.d for multiple days straight
My bf and I have been dating two years. He's a wonderful guy but he gets distracted easily. Whenever the newest game comes out, he usually plays it for the first few days and i don't mind. The newest cod came out a day early so he's been playing it since Thursday.
Whenever I ask him to do a chore while I'm at work, he likes to relax first and then do it later (which is completely fine as long as it gets done). Every so often he'll forget to do it or I'll get home early and it's not done. I'm also the type of person that will do something as soon as I think it needs to be done so I get it over with and have plenty of time to enjoy myself and not have to worry about forgetting it later.
This morning when he woke up, he started playing. I asked him to clean up the room for me while I was at work. He said he would. When I came home, he was still playing. I noticed he started the wash for me. I came to the bedroom and it was still the exact same from this morning. He apologized for not making the bed and I thanked him for starting the laundry. I was frustrated that he was playing his game since he got up and the room still looked the way it did, but I didn't say anything about it and switched the laundry.
We went to the grocery store and came back, and he started playing his game again. That's when I took the initiate to clean the room because obviously it wasn't going to get done. He knew something was wrong so I told him why I was frustrated and now he thinks I don't like when he plays video games at all, which is not true. I even clarified why I was frustrated. So needless to say we're in an argument. I'm not sure how to approach it. Whenever I get frustrated with him I force myself to tell him when he asks, other wise it boils inside of me and gets worse for both of us. I love him and he's a really great guy. I know he loves video games (we even have our own YouTube channel recording our game play) but I get frustrated when things don't get done. Am I doing something wrong or is there a better way to handle fights like this?
Tl;dr My boyfriend forgets to do something I ask when he plays video games and I get frustrated
sorry your bf is a baby
|
|
#
¿
Nov 6, 2016 10:31
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My (29/F) Boyfriend (38/M) is a beard for another woman (32/F). We want to change the relationship situation
Forgive me if some of this is vague. I will preface this by saying that as a young man, my boyfriend John was somewhat famous. He saw how other burned out, however, and decided to go down a different path, getting an education and building a career in a different industry. It was in this career that he met his other girlfriend, Mary. Her father is one of the biggest names in the business. Mary latched on to John immediately, asking him dates and declaring them to be in a relationship quickly. Her dad seemed to like John and quickly gave him massive boosts to his career through connections and leads.
It quickly became apparent things were strange, however. Mary and John stopped having sex within a month or so of their relationship, stopped having PDAs other than holding hands. They stopped seeing each other outside of events and parties, where John was introduced as Mary's "famous boyfriend". John realized he was just sort of a prop for Mary. Additionally, Mary has a female friend who she is obviously in a relationship. They live together, act as a couple, but have to save face to her conservative Christian family so never outright say they are a lesbian couple.
I knew none of this when I met John. I thought he was single and had no idea he was famous. We were a few dates in when someone recognized him and came running over to get photos with "Johnny Doe". When he finally came clean, I broke things off with him for several months, but happened to be at a party where I saw how Mary was just sort of showing him off. I overheard her mention how she hadn't seen him in two months, despite living within five miles of each other. I realized he wasn't exaggerating with his description of their relationship. John and I started a new relationship, and I started an odd friendship with Mary.
I actually like Mary, but she purposefully cuts off any mention of the relationship between me and John, or between her and her girlfriend. She has taken to inviting me to some of the parties, bringing a guy along to be my "plus one" while she shows off John as the famous boyfriend. They only see each other once every month or so, usually for parties or her family get togethers, to keep up appearances. She's had him stage "couples photos" for Instagram before holidays so she can post about spending Thanksgiving or whatever with him, when actually the photos were taken before and I spent it with John. We even went on vacation, all of us, this way. Day one was photos, then she and her girlfriend did their own trip, while John and I did sightseeing elsewhere, and she spread the photos out over the two weeks. They stayed in one hotel room, us in another. We didn't even see them until the flight home.
All through this Mary has still refused to confront the whole situation, relying on the tacit understanding of it all. She's seen John and I kiss, hold hands. She's been to our house. We have been to the house she shares with her "best friend" (they share a bedroom). Although we can't talk about it, we all know what's going on. Publicly though, she is the girlfriend and not me.
It's weird and unhealthy, but strangely when she isn't around my relationship with John is otherwise normal. We have surprisingly great communication, we live together, his career is doing great thanks to his connection to Mary's dad and we enjoy a lot of time together in between instances of socializing with Mary.
Lately though, we have talked about marrying and having kids. Obviously, this can't happen with the current set up, so John finally confronted Mary. He said that they would have to "break up". Mary lost it, furious that John would embarrass her that way. She has threatened that her father will destroy Johns career if he finds out John has been "cheating on her". Because of his position, her father really could destroy the job John worked so hard on, and this has John scared. Mary has been cold and angry to me since.
We, honestly, don't know what to do. There's no way to long term continue the relationship as is, but it seems Mary will burn every bridge.
tl;dr* Dating a guy who is being used as a cover for a lesbian relationship. She is threatening to ruin his life if he changes the relationship, and comes public about his "cheating". It's really messed up
|
|
#
¿
Nov 7, 2016 04:15
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Father-in-law [65M] has spent 6 months making our Christmas gift, and we [26F] [28M] don't care for it. But it's a "surprise" and we aren't even supposed to know.
Long story short this past weekend I happened to look for something in my in-laws' basement where they have a workshop room, and saw a set of dining chairs. Later my sister-in-law said she wasn't sure what to get her parents for Christmas and I suggested something for the dining room since it appears my father-in-law is building new chairs, so they may like to revamp the room a bit.
She explained that the chairs are actually for my husband and I, and my father-in-law has been building them since late April, but it's a Christmas surprise (so I should pretend I don't know).
My husband popped in and looked at them, too, and the thing is- we don't really care for the chairs. They are not our "style" and they are stained a very light yellowy color - whereas we have a dining room table, hutch, buffet, plant stands and chairs all stained a dark cherry, and last year we even had the trim in the room stained to match, too. There are 8 of them.
We have chairs that we are already happy with, and we have a lot of them - I have a huge family and so we bought a set of 24 gorgeous chairs at an estate sale. They are very nice and padded and we love them.
If we had fewer existing chairs and could use spares, that would work out fine, or if we had another room that could use some chairs - but we have plenty of chairs and we don't have another room that needs anything.
I'd appreciate any advice.
tl;dr: My father-in-law hand-built us a set of dining chairs that we don't care for and we are happy with the ones we have. They are supposed to be a Christmas surprise. Not sure what to do with this awkward situation.
that's a lot of chairs
|
|
#
¿
Nov 8, 2016 00:14
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My [17,m] girlfriend [17,f] of 1 DAY broke up with me and I don't know what to think, thoughts?
Ok so this girl I've been talking to and hanging out with for a couple months now ended it with me the day after I asked her to be my girlfriend (she said yes) and gave her a quick kiss.
Today she caught me off guard and said that she wasn't ready for a relationship, saying that she had just got out of one not that long ago (couple months ago) and that she needed time to figure her poo poo out but maybe in the future we could work. The thing that hurt the most honestly was that she said I should make out with some random chick at the party I was going to tonight.
I really really like this girl and she says she likes me to, but she says I shouldn't wait up for her and it's really hard because right now she's all I want. If you can't tell I've kinda fallen for this girl and this is all really confusing to me so any input would be helpful.
**tl;dr: asked out girl she said yes, day later she says she's not ready for a relationship
mate i actually don't think it's that confusing, she was pretty clear
edit:
ooooh, i found a good one. i reckon this'll get deleted soon, eat it up
quote:My(28F) Fiance(40M) Threw me out of our home over disciplining his daughter(9f)
I have been with my fiance for three years now. When we started dating he disclosed that he had a 6 year old daughter, Violet, from a previous marriage to a mentally unstable ex. While I'm not the biggest fan of children, I knew that they were a package deal, and tried my best to get on the good side of this girl. From the beginning, this little girl tried to undermine our relationship. On our one year anniversary, she fake cried about being lonely, and wouldn't stay with the baby-sitter. She would constantly ask when I was going home, even after I had been moved in for almost a year. She is passive aggressive, and my fiance doesn't see it.
Yesterday she broke me. After I had just spent 20 minutes teaching her how to do make up she goes " are you a gold-digger? My friend said that her mom said that you are a gold-digging whore", I lost it and slapped her in heated moment. I was at my breaking point with her passive aggressive insults. It wasn't hard, and more of a reflexive thing, but that was all it took. She started the water works and ran to her dad in the other room.
He confronted me, and asked if I hit her, and I admitted that I smacked her after being provoked. I had never seen him like that, he was furious. He said I had thirty minutes to leave or he would call the police, and report me for assault. He took his daughter out of the house, and told me that I needed to be gone before he returned. I packed up my clothing and left, and I am now staying at a friend's house.
I feel like my relationship was ruined over something so inconsequential. Part of me wants to try and save this while the other part of me is furious that he would throw away three years over one bad moment. I could probably sell the ring, and get enough for a year's rent until I can get back on my feet, and get a job. I feel like I dedicated so much to this relationship, and I'm feeling lost. I feel like I'm caught up in the emotions of the situation, and can't think clearly. Where for I go from here?
tl;dr: I used corporal punishment on my future-stepdaughter, and it blew up my relationship. What's the next step, should I try to go back to him?
that's a good dad!
collecting the comments as well
quote:1) This is not a regular child. This girl manipulates like a master chess player. I think she inherited her mother's borderline personality.
2) I have been a partial guardian for a year.
3) He gifted the ring. It's my legal property, and he's the one that's ending the engagement. The ring is my only source of money at the moment, since I haven't been working for the past year due to wedding planning, and moving two cities over to his town.
4) I have never hit his child before. This was a one time thing, literally a reflex. If someone grabs you from behind you will instinctively hit them. She caught me off guard. I'm not an angry person.
quote:I never said hitting her was okay. It was a mistake. What I'm saying is that she manipulated me into reacting, so she could cause a rift.
that last one makes me question whether it's real, cos that's some serious evil poo poo
Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 12:31 on Dec 4, 2016
|
|
#
¿
Dec 4, 2016 12:25
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Me [27 M] with my Indian GF [29 F] been together for 2 months, not sure if she is real
I am from India (moved recently) and met another Indian girl here (she is been here for sometime now). We started dating despite the fact that she was older than me and a different religion (somewhat a big deal for her). We were having fun and we still are most of the times. My pain points:
She has dated Americans before - always tells me how big their dicks are and that the sex is better.
How Americans treat their women and how they are better people etc?
Wants open relationship at some point in life, something that I haven't thought about.
Not sure if she is for real though, she is super honest and tells me everything about her past. Should I continue to date her even after I know that I may not have a bigger dick (mine is average over 6 inches) and may not have a lifestyle like an American.
TL;DR Indian male meets another Indian women in America who has hosed other American dudes with bigger dicks. Insecurity over this and not sure if this is a good idea.
quote:Me [28 M] and this girl [25 F] have a crush on each other but she has a number of qualities that deeply concern me. Would it be a bad idea to ask her out or what?
For the first time in my life I have finally met someone I have a crush on who likes me back (ABOUT loving TIME!!). The problem is she has a number of qualities that deeply concern me and I'm thinking it would be a bad idea to date her. For instance:
-she's a heavy smoker
-she had a kid at a very young age (perhaps in her late teens)
-she likes drinking & partying (I'm not into that stuff)
-she's given mixed signals
-I'm not very physically attracted to her
-we have absolutely nothing in common
-she was showing signs of interest in me while she was still with her boyfriend (they are no longer together)
So I'm sure you're now wondering: why the flying gently caress do I even have a crush on her in the first place?! And honestly I HAVE NO loving IDEA. If I knew the answer I wouldn't need to be writing this, now would I? Usually any ONE of those qualities would instantly make me incapable of having feelings for someone, but she is the most incredibly sweet & friendly person I've ever met in my life, and despite my every effort to not have a crush on her it has persisted now for many years. Plus we both get along really well, she is very easy to talk to, and we have each other's numbers, so it would be very easy for me to ask her out if I wanted to. But I really don't know if I want to given that I already know we're almost completely incompatible with each other.
So here are my questions: Would it really hurt to go on a date just for the hell of it, even if I know it's not going to lead anywhere? Just because it's like the first opportunity I've ever had to do so? Or should I friendzone her? Or should I just stay away from this girl?
tl;dr: We like each other yet we are almost completely incompatible and she has a number of potential red flags that deeply concern me (see list above). So I have 3 questions:
1.) Would it be a bad idea to go on a date just for the hell of it?
2.) Should I friendzone her?
3.) Should I just stay away from this girl?
"i hate everything about this woman but i want to date her because ????"
The ages made me laugh because this guy is nearly thirty and talking about having "crushes"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 9, 2016 03:47
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
I too think it is a great thread. There is nothing I love more than r/relationships to convince myself that these people have much worse and/or stupider problems than I do
Like this pair of dummies! A woman who asks a question only wanting one answer, and a guy who doesn't realise he's fallen into a trap
quote:My GF [23F] wants a tattoo and asked for my [22M] opinion. Am I wrong to tell her the truth?
My GF and I live together and have dated for about 4 years. She doesn't have any tattoos (I don't either) but she's always mentioned that someday she thinks she'll want one.
She asked what I thought of tattoos and I told her the truth. I find them unattractive and trashy. She asked if I would find her less attractive if she had a tattoo, or if I would think less of her if she had one, and I told her that yes, a tattoo would be a major turnoff to me and I would probably think poorly of her decision. But I told her that it's up to her what she does, since it's her body and she has every right to get a tattoo.
She's mad. She think that I should not have told her that I would find her less attractive with a tattoo, and that I would have a problem if she decided to get one. My thinking is that she asked, so I told her what I think of it. The honest truth is that it would affect how I see her.
I'm not looking to get told why I need to be OK with tattoos and I don't need to justify why I dislike them. I've never seen a tattoo I didn't dislike. Ever. It's just who I am I guess.
So was I wrong to tell her the truth?
tl;dr: GF asked what I would think if she got a tattoo. I told her the truth, that I would find her less attractive, that tattoos turn me off, and I would probably think less of her. Was I wrong to answer her question truthfully?
and this guy, this absolute dumbass, this stupid fuckwit
quote:I [27M] hosed up so bad at work. I told the CEO/Chairmans daughter "she's to hot to be lesbian and asked how it's possible she has a son and daughter if she is" at the christmas party.
I hosed up, I'm scared shitless. I was legless drunk at my Christmas party. The CEO daughter was there because she has a high place in the company because her father owns it. It's a major company this is not a tiny operation. She had some friends that were going to be at the party and they wanted her to come.
I did not recongnize her at first and she's really hot, throughout the conversation I figured out who it was. I was hitting on her and she said sorry I'm taken. I said lucky guy and she said I'm lesbian. I said, but I thought you had a son and daughter. You must be lying you're to hot to be lesbian." She asked me for my name again and wrote it down and said goodbye.
gently caress what do I do? please any advice my boss is going to kill me and then fire me.
TL;DR: Was a loving idiot at a christmas party.
ahahahaha
|
|
#
¿
Dec 18, 2016 05:21
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Family Disappointed in Wedding Announcement
I (20f) and my fiance (22m) announced our engagement and future wedding (May 2017) to our families back in August. His family was of course, thrilled, but mine was the exact opposite. My mother, grandmother, and uncle are the worst, demanding I push it off until I graduate college (in 2 years) and that I can't possibly understand the commitment that I'm making. They tell me it has nothing to do with who I chose, only that they are sure that we will both change over next few years (which I know is true, but we have changed together in the last four years that we have been dating, and the next few will be no different as long as we continue to communicate). My brother (18) has told me that they talk about me behind my back and while they would go to the ends of the earth for me, they don't show a single lick of support to our relationship. I feel ashamed at every family gathering that I bring my fiance to, and I thought the bullying would let up, but it hasnt. I've considered just taking some friends to elope, but my fiance and I know that it's not what our dream wedding would be like. Family and acceptance is so important to us, but I'm not sure I want to wage war over a wedding. Should I elope? Just not invite them to the wedding? Give into the demands and push it back a few years? And also, why in the world are they acting like this?
Tldr: Announced wedding (20f & 22m) to my family, getting continuous harassment and demands to push it back 2-3 years.
i love this one because all the comments are saying "your family is right and you should have a long engagement because you are very young and things change"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 20, 2016 00:12
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
Masturbating to your coworkers' instagrams is creepy though. The guy should have just told her he was gonna masturbate to porn and if she hated the idea that much then they should break up. But, of course, that was never gonna happen.
Anyway, here's a nice story of a bunch of terrible, terrible people:
quote:A friend and I[both 21M] humiliated a girl[20F] who has social anxiety. He doesn't seem to regret it, I want to make it up to her
Throwaway since this story involves me being a huge rear end in a top hat.
I've been friends with Alex since freshman orientation when we were 18. We have very similar senses of humor and tastes in music, so we quickly became best friends and spent most weekends hanging out. We're in similar majors(chemistry and biochem) and share a number of core classes, and we're both prominent in a popular student organization. We're very outgoing and I in particular try to make an effort to get to know everyone in my classes and clubs which is how I met Elly: a very shy, quiet girl in my major. She's not rude or anything but when I say shy, I mean shy- I've never seen her try to befriend anyone, and she always sits alone in the cafeteria/student lounge with her laptop or a book. She only wears oversized sweatshirts and baggy leggings, so I didn't really find her attractive and she didn't seem to want to talk to anyone so I never approached. Alex, being overconfident, tried anyways. He would sit next to her in the lounge and cafeteria, and got to know her a bit. He would always complain about her to me and our friend group, saying how creepy and awkward she is and how she's just a weird anime nerd- he had a lot of fun ragging on her, and both I and the rest of the group took part. He also said that he caught her staring at me at times, and she would ask questions about me. He suggested that I hang out with her as a joke, just to see how awkward she was.
I started hanging out with her early this semester, around late September. At first she was aloof, but gradually opened up to me. She was indeed very awkward- she had trouble looking me in the eye, and always seemed on edge- but had a good sense of humor and seemed very kind. She eventually told me that she suffered from social anxiety and found it hard to talk to people and make friends, but she desperately wanted to. She was still the butt of every joke in our friends' group chat, and I shamefully took part even when I was befriending her. The girls would take mean snapchats of her and insult her body/fashion/etc, while the guys- Alex especially- would say cruel, often sexualized things about her that I'd rather not repeat (one recurring "meme" among the guys was how they'd rather suffer through [horrible injury] than have sex with her). Elly did become a little too attached to me around November; I'd see her all over the place like she was stalking me, and would always try to sit with the group and I and butt into our conversations. I did find this off-putting (I am not at all saying that this justifies my actions), and so I continued to insult her and egg my other friends on. Alex would make veiled insults to her when she intruded on the group, which she didn't seem to notice. She was nicknamed "stalker" and our chat's avatar was a very unflattering snap of her face.
This all came to a head last Tuesday when Elly contacted Alex on social media, asking him advice on whether I'd accept an invitation to go on an ice skating date with her. According to him, he was a bit drunk and pissed off about failing a final, so he let her have it: he told her about the group memes, how everyone- including me- found her creepy and repulsive, and even showed her screenshots of us insulting her in the chat. He told me this and seemed very proud of himself, but I was horrified. I know I was complicit in her humiliation, but it all came crashing down on me that night. I wanted to text her an apology and meet up with her to see what I could do to make things right, but she blocked me on facebook and blocked my number from her phone. I tried to catch her after our last final, but she came in after and finished way before me. Her family lives a state away and she is probably there for the winter break. I told Alex that we need to make things right with her when she comes back, but he keeps brushing me off like it's no big deal. I removed myself from the chat and have not spoken to anyone in the group since.
Looking back, Elly was just a scapegoat and insulting her was just a means of masking how stressed we all were due to our status as juniors and an increasingly difficult workload... but that doesn't make things better. I could blame peer pressure or Alex for what I did, but I won't lie. I made fun of her because it felt good to rag on someone "weaker" than me in a time of massive stress. I am an awful person. Please, I would like to know what I can do for Elly to let her know that I am truly sorry for what I've done.
tl;dr: I pretended to befriend a girl who has social anxiety and who had a crush on me to humiliate her. I deeply regret my actions and want to make things right, but my friend who also humiliated her thinks we did nothing wrong. I need to know how to let her know I am sorry, and how to convince my friend to also make amends.
"this person me and my friend went out of our way to befriend keeps hanging around me for some reason!! what a nerd!!"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 21, 2016 02:36
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
funny how often this kind of situation comes up
quote:HELP!!!! I [57M] slept with an employee [20sF] over 3 years ago -- my son [27M] just brought her home and introduced her to me as a girl he's dating
I am an upper-level executive at a moderately sized firm. I slept with a staff member about 3 years ago, and we had a brief fling (sex only, no strings attached) and ended it rather amicably when she moved on to a different job. I hadn't heard from her or anything and we didn't keep in contact at all.
In the past few weeks my son has been mentioning a girl he's been dating. I thought nothing of it and didn't think of it seriously but he mentioned he was going to bring her over just to say hi before they went out. Well he brought her over last weekend and GUESS WHO SHE IS??? My fling from work...
I just pretended like I was meeting her for the first time but honestly I was shell shocked. I couldn't tell if she was alarmed or surprised but I'm just wondering... we have a very common last name (think generic, like "Smith") but if they've been dating for a little while wouldn't he know about her previous work history? Wouldn't she have told him about knowing me? I'm just so bewildered and confused and wondering if she didn't take it as well as I'd thought and this is her way of getting back at me? We don't look alike but there are some vague similarities, also I'm 5'9 and my son is about 6'4. So maybe she didn't know? I find that hard to believe though. I don't think I could tell my son because i think it will creep him out but do I allow this to just happen?
TL:DR; my son brought home a girl who I slept with and I don't know how this happened
quote:GF breaking up with me due to her history with my cousin
Hi Reddit. New throwaway account as I'm a long time reader, first time poster and I could really use some advice. Sorry in advance for the long post.
I (27m) have been with my gf (Kate, 25f) for about five months. The relationship has been awesome, we've met each other's parents and friends, starting making plans for a vacation in March, etc. No problems til now.
Everything started this weekend when my family had a Christmas party at my nana's house. I brought Kate with me, we arrived mid afternoon, she made a great impression right away, got along with everyone and seemed really comfortable. That is until my cousin, Jeff (25m) walked in with his girlfriend (22f). Right away, as soon as Jeff walked in, Kate went silent and had a scared look on her face, and once he noticed her I swear Jeff went completely pale. Kate recovered quicker and said hi and mentioned that she and Jeff actually knew each other from university. After that, Kate was off the rest of the night and eventually quietly texted me around 9:30 to ask if we could leave.
In the car, Kate was all quiet and when I asked her what was wrong I saw she was crying. She unloaded the whole story on me: basicallyfor 2 years in university Kate and Jeff been on and off in her words "not always dating but more than FWB". They eventually stopped talking in 2012. Kate found out she was pregnant (it was Jeff's) and was scared, told Jeff who told her to figure it out and leave him alone as he wanted to focus on a new relationship (he ended up dating that girl Anna for about 1.5 years and I actually met her once).
From there, Kate said she'd decided to get an abortion and told a few of her friends, who were all unsupportive and told her she should keep the baby. She ended up going to her mom who supported her either way. 9 weeks in Kate had a miscarriage and ended up in the hospital over Christmas of that year due to complications. While she was telling me this, Kate was crying and said it was the worst time of her life. She told me that she ended up hearing from Jeff again in late 2014 through facebook, basically asking her if she'd had the baby and asking her if she wanted to hang out again if she hadn't. She said she was so mad that she has him blocked to this day, and seeing him at dinner was the first time she'd seen him since she'd told him she was pregnant.
Sorry that this is getting so long, but now to the present. Kate called me yesterday and asked me to meet for coffee this morning and basically ended things. She told me she couldn't face seeing Jeff at all my family events and didn't want to reopen such a bad time in her life. I offered to spend holidays with her & her family instead from now on. Jeff and I aren't close and I have no problem stopping all contact with him as well. Kate says she can't do that to me, and would hate to cause problems between myself and my extended family. We've sort of left everything unresolved right now and Kate said she'd call me in a few days when we've had time to think, but I'm worried.
Reddit, what do I do here? I understand Kate's conflicted but I really don't want to lose the best relationship I've ever had.
TL;DR: girlfriend wants to end our relationship based on her history with my cousin.
also this one is just funny
quote:My [16M] girlfriend [16F] punched a hole in the wall because a girl [16M] from our high school announced she was dating her best friend [16M] and it got 500 likes on facebook.
Look this is probably the single most stupid thing you will ready today. I'm trying to figure this one out myself, but this is so far gone man.
So there's this girl Kelsey who has been best friends with Jason since they were 2 years old. They went to Elementry school together, middle school and high school. They even plan to go to the same college in our home town. They've been friends basically they're entire life. They're both attractive people, they're both semi popular- full blown popular around high school. I've spoken Jason and he's a nice guy. Technically yesterday on facebook they is the whole Blank is now in a relationship with Blank thing. It got over 500 likes on facebook with people saying it's about drat time.
My girlfriend got angry and punched a wall because we did not get the same number as likes. What to do
TL;DR: Girlfriend has gone insane and could use some help.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 22, 2016 08:43
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Misadventures of a Poly Lez: Keeping it Professional
So, I'm hoping to get some advice from y'all. And I'm hoping I'm posting this in the right place.
I [F, 26] have fallen for my coworker [F, 26]. However, the situation is complicated by the fact that she is quickly becoming a good friend as well. We frequently hang out after work and on weekends.
Now, for the real problems:
First, she's straight. Or at least she's pretty sure she is. She often laments about not having any cute guys around.
Second, I'm in a 6+ plus relationship. Both me and my partner [F, 28] are polyamorous, so outside relationships are not a problem for us. However, that's often a hang up for people who are really just looking for their "one and only."
Third, our work has a vague yet threatening "fraternization policy," which probably only applies to managers and subordinates, but is scary enough to make people think twice when considering dating coworkers.
So, basically, what this girl seems to want is a cute, single boy who is not a coworker. Three things I am not.
I'm struggling with that fact that I see her 8+ hours a day (I sit right next to her), and that we're friends outside of work, so we're a lot more casual with each other, even at work.
I am so torn. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure I have no shot with her, and I don't want to soil both a good friendship and a good professional relationship. On the other hand...I've fallen hard for her. And we all know how compelling that can be.
Please advise.
tl;dr Fell for my presumably straight, presumably monogamous coworker, who is also a friend. I'm poly, lesbian, and in a relationship. Not sure what to do.
i love ones like this where there isn't even an actual problem that needs solving. you have a crush, get over it. you're not gonna make your coworker interested in women and/or being a side-piece in a polyamorous relationship just by wishing really hard.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 24, 2016 08:20
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My girlfriend [18/F] is disrespectful [25/M]
My girlfriend ocassuanly calls me stupid, pathetic, a joke. Today she poked my head asking if I can use this.
In her opinion my ego is too big and I should accept it as something normal.
In mine that a relationship needs respect and she has to be responsible for her actions and "that's how I am, it's not personal." Doesn't work.
What do you think r/relationship? Can a relationship without respect be healthy?
tl;dr Disrespectful girlfriend refuses to change.
maybe don't date a teenager, dude!
quote:I [27/F] gave my brother-in-law [20/M] a blowjob while drunk and now he is blackmailing me with it
This happened during our Christmas family gathering, everyone was quite drunk at the time and I made the mistake of giving my brother-in-law a blowjob. My husband had passed out at the time and does not know anything about this. I don't know what came over me, I was drunk and felt sympathy for him since his girlfriend broke up with him on Christmas eve. I regret having done so and we both agreed to forget this ever happened and never talk about it. However, the very next day he started sexting me and making further advances, even flirting at me while my husband is around. I told him to stop but he then took to blackmailing me that he would tell my husband and even the entire family about what we did if I didn't send him sexual photos and do him sexual favors in a passive-aggressive way. I don't know if he is serious or not but I can't take any chances of anyone finding this out... What should I do?
Edit: He is going back to university soon in about two weeks, I am considering just following what he says until he leaves and hopefully get a girlfriend, I'm unsure whether or not this is a good choice although...
tl;dr: I made the mistake and gave my brother-in-law a blowjob when drunk, he has since then made advances on me and blackmailing me if I didn't do what he says.
lol "i made the mistake of giving him a blowjob"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2016 06:45
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
blackmailing someone into sex isn't lol
of course not, but that line was funny
anyway, something crazy is going on here:
quote:Sisters and I [32 F] want your advice on situation with our sister [27 F], who is getting married in a few days
Alright, we've been lurking here since yesterday, and we want your advice. There's five of us, and the middle sister is going to get married in a couple of days to her fiance, legally. So, the situation is that there is a guy who likes her, he's alright, he's liked our sister for years, we know it, we can tell, he was even hitting on her and flirting. She wanted the attention and invited it. A couple of years ago, when she was with her fiance, my sister got flirted by hard by this guy, she liked the attention, but ultimately dismissed him completely. Later on, about half a year, we found out from a mutual friend that he wanted to make our sister jealous, so he asked another one of our sisters to get married with him. They aren't married, though. We all think that it was wrong, and that he was desperate for our sister's attention and that he wanted her, but he's still trying to pursue our other sister, and it makes us uncomfortable.
Right now, I'm not staying with them, but from what I can tell, is that both sisters are fighting over which one he likes, as in, 'he likes me', 'no, he likes me, not you'. That's what could be happening with them.
The other day he posted a few pictures of one of our sisters online, and we don't know why but it was creepy, although he said that the pictures were for holiday spirit as they were Christmas themed. Maybe we're overracted, that's what he said. So we want your take on this entire matter, because you know this better than us. What is going on, is this similar to what you have to deal with?
We don't if he will call our sister or message her to not go through with the marriage, but, in any case, if he does he'd be showing our other sister, the one he asked to marry, that he actually wanted another sister all along. We haven't encountered this kind of thing before, that's why we're asking you.
Our sister, the one he likes, is sad and disappointed about all this, but she gave him a chance to talk with her again, and she likes him. We're also sad and disappointed, but at the end of the day, we think he was dumb but we don't know what else to think. What do you think?
I hope that you can help us out.
tl;dr Our sister is getting married legally in a couple of days, there is a guy who likes her and he may end up contacting her to tell her to cancel the marriage. We don't know what to think of him, and want your opinion on him, the situation, and what we should do. Please let us know if you need more details and information.
as if that wasn't confusing enough, here come the comments:
quote:Homegirl, come on. We all saw you post this a few hours ago. Give it up.
-
Your "sister" (aka...you) already posted this multiple times. I believe the general consensus was that she is batshit crazy, and needs therapy.
-
The post you responded to is definitely a side account by the OP. I am actually super fascinated by the multiple roles being played here -- I wonder how often this happens online.
-
Plot twist: OP is actually the weirdo guy
im not gonna even try to understand this
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2016 06:55
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
got a good one for you guys so stop arguing about bullying
quote:I need some advice. My mother is afraid of the end of the world more than the end of her family. [long]
My mother [70] and I [30F] don't have the greatest of relationships. She is one of those people who have an irrational fear/fascination with the ‘end of days’. Y2K, Mayan Calendar, you name it, at some point she's prepped for it. She'll spend hours on the computer "researching" how her theories align with videos and articles she finds online. Usually we can ignore what she says and move on, however, it has really come to a head just in time for the holidays.
About 2 weeks before Christmas she called my sister [28], who lives in another state, and told her that she wanted her to come home for the holidays because she believes there’s going to be some kind of catastrophic event and she wanted the whole family together just in case. I called my mother and told her that if she started down that road with us that she wouldn’t be welcome at my home for Christmas. I was hoping that would make her straighten up, especially since we have a 5 month old son (who she adores) and this would be his first Christmas.
Then Christmas Eve happened! She fully whips out the crazy on us. Trying to get us to run around town to buy a freezer for her (which unbeknownst to us, she want to keep in our garage) 30 minutes before the store closes. She unloads her conspiracy theories on my husband while trying to convince him that she should take our truck so she can load it up with provisions (toilet paper, paper towels, canned food, frozen food, solar panels, etc.) from her apartment and bring it over to our house.
I called and stuck to my guns that because of her behavior she wasn’t welcome at our home for Christmas and that I’m not sure when she’ll be allowed back. Christmas was enjoyable and stress free since it was mother free. My MIL and GMIL who were staying with us and witnessing the whole thing go down, were incredibly understanding about the whole situation. My husband and I have been together for 12 years so MIL has seen some poo poo.
My mom sent me a text apologizing for her behavior and how sad this Christmas was for her, I have yet to respond to it. I’ve been trying to leave my sister out of this so she can enjoy a stress free visit to her boyfriend’s home. But of course my mother has other plans. She ended up sending my sister this long text:
-
“I’m busy putting a few things in garage so I can have my living room look like normal. I texted OP and apologized and said I would not talk about my fears again. This doesn’t mean I don’t still have them. Since all my prep was for all of us, I now have to resign to the idea of this taking care of just me. I wish you would fly down here with [boyfriend] for New Years. I would pay for the tickets. You could take [boyfriend] to [hometown] for the fireworks. I would also feel better that you would be safe there especially if [boyfriend] was with you. I just can’t bare the thought of you being so far away. 2017 has been predicted to start the tribulation year of the quakes, tsunami and major riots. It just isn’t safe there at [location]. You will know this when Obama takes a third term or becomes king, law “Theme of provisional government.” By tearing down Trump and planting fear in the people. Michelle is now campaigning by saying she feels sorry for the women. Called him a racist to stir up riots and rapist to fear for the children. Watch the youtube speech and tell me if that’s not a campaign speech. This is why I want you two out of [location] when TSHTF. Obama has set up martial law to go into effect on a short notice. Congressmen, people with high intel with military and newsmen have tried to warn us that this is coming. As for the religious groups, they have followed the prophesies and Obama has fulfilled them. He is the Antichrist.
"So there you have it. I couldn’t talk to you about it because it’s too scary. That’s why I am acting so neurotic. Which is worse telling you about it and scaring you to do some research on your own and getting pass the fear and acting on getting to a safe place or live in denial because of fear and being a victim to riots, earth quakes, EMPs and don’t forget the ocean traveling to the Rockies. The Bibles says this will all come quickly right after each other. I love you. Please don’t hate me for saying all these things. You are so precious to me. All I want is for all of us to be together safe from big cities and where you can have the means to feed and protect ourselves. [hometown] will be a good place to start. This is why I want you to bring [boyfriend] to meet the family before the New Year. Please check this stuff out before you come down on me hard. I said all this at the risk of you hating me just like OP does. I couldn’t bare losing you too. I have said it all now you won’t hear another thing about this. I will never mention it again. Our conversations from now on will avoid these subjects. Please text me back after you have time to let this truly sink in. The end.”
-
Neither of us know how to respond to this text. We knew she was "researching" again, but didn't know it had got this bad. My sister and I are at the end. We don’t know what to do any more. My mother doesn’t really have any friends or family that she talks to. So if my sister and I shut her out, she’ll be almost completely alone with her fears. I want my mom to seek help but I know she won’t go willingly. She went to counseling a couple of times before and stopped when she didn’t feel that the therapist was on her side. Ideally I would like her to talk to a professional. I just don’t know what the next move is. How can I get her help so that I can have a normal relationship with her?
TL;DR My mother's fear of the end of the world is more important to her than having her family and I don't know how to get her help.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 29, 2016 08:23
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:I (21F) caught my dad (65M) watching young girl porn and I haven't been able to trust him since.
About four years ago (I was about 17) I was at my dads house - my mom and dad had recently divorced - and I asked my dad if I could use his computer to do some homework. He allowed, and I spent some time doing homework, and some time on social media. After finishing the homework I decided to delete the social media history so he wouldn't see I was messing around.
I opened the internet history which was organized by site. I found and deleted my facebook links but then I noticed a ton of awful titled websites with many porn-related names. I was so shocked. I thought it must be some internet spam, but I went back in the history and these websites were repeated week after week. My dad is a very devoted catholic who looks down on me if I miss a week of mass. I found it hard to believe this history belonged to my dad.
I clicked one website because I had so many questions. But I regret it, because the site I clicked (and many others in the history) listed porn featuring 15-18year old girls. Whether these girls were actually minors or not I do not know. My mind was racing so fast and I just couldn't look. In this moment i'm confused and scared out of my mind to think my dad watches girls that look like me/my age.
I erased all hints that I ever looked through his history and ran back to my room. I felt nauseous and horrible the rest of the day. I couldn't look at my dad at all without feeling sick and disgusted. But I had no one to tell, I still haven't been able to admit it to anyone in person.
Its been 4 years and I still cant trust my dad. I don't enjoy spending time with him, I only do things with him because he always talks about being lonely. But every time he even stares at some girl I have horrible flashbacks to what I found. He has now remarried and I hope he's changed... but I can't forget what I saw. Is this something I keep to myself and let this secret die with me? Or do I tell someone?
TL;DR: When I was 17, I found tons of porn with young (15-18 year-old) girls on my dads computer. It's been four years and I still can't trust him or find it in my heart to forgive him. Do I tell someone or try to forget?
I feel really bad for this girl! Like, you can say "all guys watch porn" all you want but knowing for a fact your dad watches porn specifically with girls the same age as you would be awful.But honestly she should see a therapist about it if she still feels this way four years later, it's not going to just go away.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 31, 2016 01:39
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:Husband [m30] has a hyperactive fear of alcohol and shames me [F27] for wanting to be a light social drinker. No history of substance abuse and we been in a mixed religion marriage for 5 years. Our therapist pushed me into a promise to never drink.
I'm an exmormon and have been for 5 years. I left our church shortly after being introduced to new aspects of the religion in the temple as part of me getting "endowed" and ”sealed”, which is all part of the process of getting married in mormonism. My husband had already been allowed to go through the temple for his endowment ceremony and he suspected that I would have some problems with it, but he was still blindsided when I realized I had to leave mormonism. He's still mormon and we have made it work really well despite it being initially hard. There are some areas that are more difficult to compromise on. We have been seeing a therapist and I really like her. She's a good mix of liberal enough not to push religion on me while relating to my husband since she's mormon.
However, a few months ago during a session I was pushed into promising that I would never drink again. My husband was expressing doubt that I loved him and intended leave him during the first half of the session and then sometime after we started talking about alcohol. I wouldn't have made that promise except it was set up by her as either he's the higher priority or drinking is the higher priority. If I love him I won't drink. I do love him so if I HAD to choose I would choose him over drinking. It was a frustrating moment for me and I capitulated easily because I wouldn't let my husband think that I value drinking enough to even fight it when it's put in such absolute terms like that. I regret not being able to come up with a better answer in the moment, but even now I'm not sure there was any successful way to have answered.
I'm pretty strict about how I want to go about safely drinking and have no history of substance abuse. (My idea of safe drinking fairly strict- no drinking alone, no more than 2 drinks an hour, no getting drunker than a nice buzz, no drinking with strangers, no drinking with anyone I don't trust, no driving, no more than 5-8 times a year.)
She apologized with just me in the room afterwards and said she didn't love how it went down. However, she's sure that if I wait it out that in 3-10 or so years we'll be a wedding or some event and he won't bat an eye if I drink because the rest of therapy is going to bring us closer together than we've ever been and we'll both be so happy in our in marriage that he's not going to fuss over a social drink here or there. I'm unhappy with the vagueness of this. Also very skeptical, because last Christmas I drank at a small university sponsored party with him there, and for 3 weeks after at least, 9/10 times he spoke to me it was too criticize me. Even a year later he says he knows I'm intelligent but he could never see me as someone that makes intelligent decisions again because I can and have used feelings and fun to ignore all the risks of drinking a neurotoxin and literal poison. I could have killed our hypothetical fetus or made it have fetal alcohol syndrome. I took a pregnancy test with him there and knew I wasn't pregnant when I drank but he still insists that I had been selfish to put a baby at risk like that and stupid to put myself at risk of becoming an alcoholic, etc. He showed me a slideshow from his med school class to explain how dangerous alcohol is and on a very deep level he believes alcohol can't be consumed responsibly and that the medical facts back him up. In short it was 3 weeks of seething anger, putdowns, and criticisms over one drink with a few lasting consequences. They were the worst 3 weeks of our marriage. He knew that I wanted to drink for at least 3 years so I don't see him mellowing out about drinking 3-10 years from now, especially now that there's been a lifetime promise extracted from me that I won't drink.
It feels too controlling and when I think about it I get bothered all over again. I don't think I can go back on it or bring it up again without causing major strife and I feel frustrated. Not drinking for the rest of my life is easily doable but at what point do I say it's simply wrong to hand over so much autonamy to my husband? I want to undo this, however, any attempt to push to drink will be viewed as a betrayal. How can I explain that I felt pressured to make that promise and I don't want to be held to it but it doesn't mean I love him any less?
*edit: A divorce isn't wanted by either of us. We have a lot going for us and our marriage, despite how extreme he went on this issue. We have kids although that wouldn't stop me from getting divorced if we had a miserable marriage. It feels very worthwhile to work this out.
TL:DR - Months ago, husband and therapist gave me a black and white decision to show my husband that I love him by promising to never drink alcohol and I caved to it. Do I try to undo it or should I maybe suck it up and go along with the promise?
what an awful, awful therapist! "this woman's husband incredibly controlling and verbally abusive, welp, better help him make ultimatums to her!"
|
|
#
¿
Jan 1, 2017 07:00
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My [26,M] girlfriend [23,F] is coming home early and she doesn't know I let my friend move in her apartment temporarily!
My friend moved here for a girl, he left his family behind, all his friends , everything. If he didn't meet me, he would probably have no social life outside of her. He lived with her, hung out with HER friends, and he has a low-paying job because he just dropped everything and moved with her. Well, after a year, his girlfriend dropped him, and kicked him out. I'm not going to let my friend live on the streets, so I told him he could move in with me. The thing about this situation is I live with my girlfriend, (it's her apartment) but she is gone most of the time, because her work requires her to travel. She wasn't supposed to come home until late January so I told him that he has until then to move out, cool!
I have to pretty much sneak him in every night because security is cool with my girlfriend but other than that the living arrangement has been working out fine. My girlfriend and I FaceTime everyday at 5pm, to talk about our day, which basically consist of her asking me how my day is going, I begin to talk, she cuts me off and goes on for hours about her day, I usually halfway listen to her because most of the time it's just rants, but I heard "I miss you so much, I'm coming home early" , I had to ask her to repeat herself and yep that is what she said!
Now I'm fake smiling but on the inside I'm panicking, I asked her what day and she said "it's a surprise" now I'm really freaking out, because I haven't even re-arranged the living room like she asked me to do the day she left. How do I explain to my friend that he has to move out NOW, I can't even do that to him but I can't let her see him or all HELL is going to break loose. I can convince her to look past the living room but definitely not moving someone into her house. I need advice!
Tl:dr; I might be homeless if I don't evict my close friend
lol this idiot clearly does not respect his girlfriend at all and deserves to be dumped
|
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2017 05:29
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:My issue [24 M] with my date [20 F] 1 month, Can I trust her?
I got stood up today, and Im so mad I cant think straight or trust anyone. I had a set up a date with a different girl last week over text and now I don't trust her sincerity now ether. particularly line 8. Is she being honest or is she trying to give the runaround. She's an introvert btw.
01 ME----Say Liz, Im going to be around town for lunch Wednesday and I need a cute girl to go out with. U Know of one? :-)
02 GIRL-----Haha idk, who do you have in mind?
03 ME----Just some girl I used to know. You
04 GIRL-----Haha possibly.
05 ME-----Restaurant at 12:30 Wednesday then,
06 GIRL-----What date is Wednesday?
07 ME-----The 4th
08 GIRL-----Oh shoot, I have to go to XYZ city that day. I'm sorry. I totally would go with you if I didn't have to!
09 ME-----I might be able to fit it in Saturday
10 GIRL-----Okay, that might work :-)
11 ME-----Ok I'll see you 12:00 at the Restaurant Saturday then.
12 GIRL-----Okay :-) see you then!
13 ME----- :-)
14 GIRL----- :-)
tl;dr: I'm still so mad I cant tell if she means it, does she?
from comments:
quote:The thing is the first girl stood me up on a third date she asked for, and we seemed to be getting somewhere, so I went through the all the trouble to get the morning off work. how would you feel?
I set this date up with the second girl last week and now Im having trust issues. im just feeling too many bad vibes from line 8.
a 24 year old man posted this
|
|
#
¿
Jan 6, 2017 05:19
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
quote:I [26F] told my BF [24M] of 1 year about my cheating history. Did I kill the relationship?
I'll make this as short as I can. Let's call my bf Cal.
Cal is a good-hearted, driven, and caring man. He swept me off my feet and I've been infatuated ever since. I love this man. Except for a couple fights we've never had any issues.
About a month ago, he asked me about my brother, who was recently cheated on, and how he has been holding up. One thing led to another and we were on the topic of cheating.
Cal said he hopes he figures out what's best for him, and that he personally has no sympathy for cheaters. I told him I can understand how and why "it" could happen. He was surprised by that, and asked how come I feel that way.
My history came out. I cheated on my last two serious relationships. The relationships were in rough places, each lasting a little over 2 years. Someone came along and made me feel alive again. I enjoyed their desire and attention which I wasn't receiving from my relationship. Combined with drugs and alcohol, I cheated.
Cal was alarmed by this, said I just played the victim card and instead of addressing the issue found comfort in other men. I explained it so horribly to him, and I understand how he feels that way. He raised his voice and I could sense his frustration with me and my explanation. Cheating on him isn't something I imagine I would do. Of course I felt horrible. That was a part of my past. An ugly part. I'm not proud of it.
A few days later we went to a show together. He talked to me about his boundaries, and that he is sorry if he came off condescending. He wanted to carry on and I do too. At the show, I made a passing remark about one of the dancers. I said "I would definitely marry him". It was silly, but not meant to be serious.
I saw Cal's face twist, and he walked away. I got angry and yelled at him for taking offense to a stupid remark. He said sorry, his emotions flared and before he said something awful he wanted to walk away and cool off. He apologized again later and said he isn't the insecure type, but lately his gut has been screaming. That night was a total mood kill for me. It was just a silly joke and he walked off without saying a thing. This isn't something that has ever happened before.
Cal has never been the insecure type. I hang out with my friends, party without him, go to concerts, etc. We have established trust and he has never shown signs of insecurity. We openly talk about the insecurities we do have and at times he does over-communicate, which can be annoying, but it's with good intentions.
But ever since our talk I've sensed something different about him. He loves me but I can tell I've made a confident man worrisome. Our confident connection leaped right from my hands. My fun-loving, carefree guy now seems like he's 50ft up on a wall and looking down. He picks his words as if he's walking on eggshells. Things are just.. different. The most unfortunate part about all of this is another guy in my friend circle has grabbed my attention. I feel horrible but I feel like unwanted feelings are starting to develop.
Did this relationship die by my own hand? Is this salvageable? We communicate very well and have talked it over. But things still haven't been the same. It has been about a month now.
tl;dr: I told my BF about my cheating past and now he seems insecure and worrisome. Is it possible I killed our connection by exposing my checkered past?
"when relationships get too hard i immediately give up and look for the next person to gently caress. i told my bf this and now our relationship is too hard so i think im gonna gently caress my friend"
|
|
#
¿
Jan 7, 2017 03:34
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2024 15:21
|
|
#
¿
Sep 29, 2016 09:02
