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My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is getting out of control, and it's ruining our wedding planning.

I'm using a throwaway account because I'm humiliated about how this has been going.

I have been seeing a wonderful man for two years now. About six months ago he proposed to me, and since then I've been elated. We have eagerly been planning our wedding and things seem to be clicking between us. I said yes to my dress, invited about 75 guests, and our wedding is set for this December.

Here's where things get complicated. My fiance enjoys the idea of me being with other men. And yes, before you ask, he is bisexual. We have played out this fantasy consistently over the past couple of years, and I enjoy it as well... for the most part. Some of the time I don't know what he's thinking with his requests. About a year ago, he asked me to "steal" his credit card and take my other boyfriend to an expensive restaurant, treat him to dinner, and then have sex with him in a good hotel. I did all of this and sent pictures. It drove him wild.

Gradually the fetish began to involve turning him into a "sissy." He would be very submissive around me during sexual times, and ask that I talk about my experiences with other men, past and present. Again, I obliged.

So, again, I don't mind at all. I'm sexually open minded and if it makes him happy, then I'm happy too. But now it's getting completely out of control, and is starting to leak into our wedding planning. He seems to be more excited about using this as a chance to get his rocks off than actually start a life with me.

For instance, early on, he asked if my other boyfriend could walk me down the aisle. Since my father is dead, I was planning on my brother doing it, but he wants my boyfriend to do it instead. Many of our guests know about the nature of our relationship so he said it wouldn't be a big deal, but it was just too weird for me to even consider. I put my foot down and said no. He reluctantly gave up on the idea, although my other boyfriend will be attending (the three of us are also good friends, so it's natural for him to be there).

Later on he suggested that on our wedding night, my boyfriend be the first person to have sex with me when married. He would be in the room, which is not usual but has happened before, and then cuddle up next to me when we were finished. I agreed to this because whatever, I want him to enjoy our wedding night too.

Today was too much. Our venue has a special service (I think it's special at least?) where during the ceremony and beginning of the reception, they will take a video, and then at the end of the reception show it on a big screen matched to music. We have a certain deal of freedom over how they'll arrange the end product, and while it's expensive, we both agreed that it would be a nice touch. At the very end of the credits though, when brainstorming a last goodbye comment, he suddenly suggested that the video end with something like "Now get to your hotel room and prep the bull you sissy."

I feel sick to my stomach. Has his fetish grown so out of control that he wants me to humiliate him in front of all of our friends and family for sexual gratification? He's never been this way, and I love him as much as ever before, but I need to put a stop to this soon and I don't even know how. He gets so excited when ideas like these come up and has gotten angry at me for saying "no" to his other wedding planning ideas too much.

tl;dr: Fiance and I are into hotwifing/roleplaying/sissy fantasizing, he wants to involve this in the wedding, what do I do?

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I [25F] found a shocking word doc in my boyfriend's [27 M] laptop, can't deal with it

We have been together for 3 years and live together. There is no interdiction for us to use each other's stuff and that is how it happened. In the doc he wrote about random fantasies he had while on a train, months ago. I had just seen him off to the train station and as he got in the train he started writing about some woman sitting in front of him, how perky her boobs were, and how he would gently caress her if it weren´t for me (with VERY graphic details). Then he proceeded about many other such women he randomly saw in trains. And he was judgmental about my views (my views being that loving random strangers while in a committed relationship is not cool) and expressed the whole thing as if I were an impediment for him, even mentionned that if we wouldn´t work out, he could get laid a lot. After that though he wrote about how hot I was and called me his princess and ''one of the most vivid examples of this beauty he loves enjoying so much'. He insists that it was just about him writing down 'his demons' on a piece of paper and that he loves me and is currently asking me not to leave him. He also has a rich history of lying but has never cheated on me. This experience was traumatic and I do not know how to get over it.

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I [32M] am not able to perform sexually and my wife [30F] is frustrated. Should I consent to open marriage?

About six months ago I had a relatively minor accident however it left me with a neurological issue that affects my penis area. There's nerve damage and I'm almost impossible to perform sexually now. I'm under treatment and things might change, however it doesn't seem likely. Most likely this is going to affect me for the rest of my life, or until we have some significant new scientific advancements.

I'm in the process of coming to peace with my situation and understanding my new disability and that brings me to my wife, who has been wonderful and cooperative but she has sexual needs and even though I've tried to satisfy her in other ways (oral, toys, strapons, etc), she needs more and wants actual sex. We've been married for 3 years and had very good sex before this happened to me.

She doesn't complain to me and is kind and supportive of my situation but I know her well enough to know that she's very frustrated. I recently noticed from the history of our iPad that she's been reading up material on polyamorous relationships, open marriages, sexless marriages, marriage with asexual partners and things like that. She hasn't talked to me about it but I know that conversation is coming up.

It does hurt me on some way to think that but it's our new life and I need to come to terms with the fact that I'm not able to sexually provide for her and I can't expect her to make this sacrifice. I want our marriage to continue and work for both of us and I want her to be happy.

Anyone ever been in this situation? Any advice for me? The last thing I want in the world is to be selfish and disregard my wife when I'm dealing with my problem.

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A guy (24M) on tumblr is sending my (21M) girlfriend (18F) memes

I started dating my girlfriend back in January. She's extremely cute and funny and smart and a great match for me. She tells me she loves me every day and has told me before that she believes we have a future together.

I found out early on in the relationship that she has a friend, we'll call Gabe, that she met through tumblr who predates me. Gabe is obese and balding. He is your typical 'nice guy' - loves memes, vidya, and hitting on girls out of his league. At first I thought Gabe was just an innocent follower on tumblr, but it turns out he flirts with my girlfriend by sending her cutsie memes.

A few months into the relationship, I noticed that she was texting him more throughout the day than me. I got pretty upset by this and told her how I felt. She told me she would stop talking to him if it really upset me that much. I told her I didnt want to be a control freak and I wanted to trust her. She told me she didnt talk to him very much and I shouldnt be worried.

A couple days after that conversation, I noticed that Gabe had added me on Steam. He told Hannah that my bio was all lies (it stated that I am an indie game designer who plays video games more than making them, which is the truth). My bio also said that I lived in Washington DC, which was a lie because I stream on Twitch and don't want some weird fanboy figuring out where I live and murdering me while I sleep.

I saw this as an act of trying to break Hannah and I up. I told Hannah about it and she agreed with me that it was strange. She didnt know how he added me either. Then it hit me: Gabe fits the stalker profile. I told Hannah that she probably shouldn't talk to Gabe anymore and she told me she would block his number and facebook.

Everything was sailing smoothly for a few months, until last night. I was playing Overwatch and I got invited to a party. It was Gabe. I didnt know it at first because I didnt recognize the username. I only found out after I finished playing because I had Hannah over, who had been reading a book in my bed. She got a message on tumblr saying "I was just playing Overwatch with Zentiro." I asked who it was and she told me: Gabe. I asked her how he was still messaging her, and she told me she hadn't blocked him on tumblr because she needed more followers and reblogs. I made the mistake of going through their messages. He was still sending her memes, and she would send him minimalist replies and memes. I also noticed the times and dates of the messages; they would talk all day, every day. She told me she doesnt talk to him that much.

I told her I was upset and am having trouble trusting her at the moment, and sent her home. How concerned should I really be?

I believe that she doesnt take his memes as flirting, but as a guy, I can tell that they are meant to be.

TL;DR: Memes are ruining my relationship

quote:

My husband (37) throws trash on me (33)
submitted an hour ago by TrashWoman444

We've been together 11 years, married 3.

He has thrown trash on me in the past and I've told him it bothers me and to stop.

This morning he kept doing it and I told him very calmly "please stop putting trash on me". He told me it's what I deserve.

He kept doing it and I said calmly "don't put trash on me. It's disrespectful." He laughed at me and kept doing it.

Then he threw trash and it went past me and he said "oops I missed I was trying to hit you."

I got up and left the room And picked up all the trash to throw it away. While I was in the kitchen I could hear him in the living room laughing to himself, saying "I don't care."

I don't know what to do.

Tldr: my husband puts trash on me.

Jack Trades posted:

Let's play a game. Guess the ages of the participants.

Gaunab posted:

quote:

My [25F] now ex-boyfriend [29M] sent me pictures of about 30 girls he wants to have sex with after I caught him cheating.

My now ex boyfriend and I were arguing because I caught him cheating on me and during this argument he sent me pictures of about 30 girls he wanted to have sex with in a row - not famous people either, girls he actually* knows. I told him I had asked him to be honest with me if he ever cheated (sometimes things happen, I get that). His response was "Honesty? Here's honesty. I want to gently caress these girls too:" And just went on a rampage sending the pictures saying the things he liked about them.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Ok, here's some poo poo:

I [29M] want to break up with my girlfriend [16F] without upsetting her
Yesterday, he posted:

Me [29 M] with my GF [16 F] Is the age difference to much?

And over the last 10 days he has posted:

Males, how different is self masturbation to sex with a female?

Males, What are the pros and cons of getting a girlfriend? What have your girlfriend experiences been like?

Males, where is the best place to meet young desperate females?

Males who use tinder, how much success have you had so far meeting females? What tips would you give to fellow males?

Guys, when having sex with girls from tinder, do you use a condom and why?

[Washington] Can I legally get consent for sex if I am 29 and she is 16 but still in school?

Guys, how is anal sex compared compared to vaginal?

[oral] Girlfriend [16F] wants me [29M] to give her oral.

What is the easiest least upsetting way to break up with your girlfriend?

quote:

(Virginia) My cousin is an absolute idiot. He played dead as a prank on emergency personnel. What kind of charges could he be facing?

Basically, my cousin (16) decided it would be funny to play dead. He put some foam around his mouth and laid on the ground until his mother found him. She called 911 in a frenzy, an ambulance and the fire dept responded. My cousin continued to play dead as they started to work the code. He only gave up the game by laughing when they put some kind of breathing mask on him, I guess?

He figured it would be funny like an episode of Punk'd or something, but you can imagine how the firefighters reacted. They contacted the police and an officer came to deal with my cousin. He wasn't arrested right there, but the officer said that charges may come down in the near future.

How much trouble is my idiot cousin in?

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Okay with sex before marriage or willing to have sex before marriage? Big difference.

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He is an active drug dealer and user, should I [20/M] think my gf [25 F] 2 months [44 M] with my Ex/Girlfriend [24 F] with a guy [22M] since July of this manipulative, psycho guy [31 m]

I've just been feeling worse and worse about letting her get away with doing the same role and establish a connection again. It was not the best, etc. But we share a common pool of friends, and now he keeps contacting me. It's so shocking for me, I'm so broken and difficult to reason with.

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My [23F] fiancé [29M] wants me to include "obey" in our vows. I'm unsure what to do.

Some backstory: We are planning our wedding and getting legally married in February. It's going to be a private ceremony, just the two of us and the officiant. We are having a more formal ceremony on either our first or second anniversary or close to it, when we can afford a large ceremony and give our family notice to save up to attend our wedding (we both want to do this, this isn't the part that is up for debate).

But for the last few days, we have been arguing over our vows. Neither of us are very religious, but we agreed to have non-denominational religious vows at our ceremony, since the officiant we are using offers two standard sets of vows, religious and secular. I'm Jewish and I know that "non-denominational religious" usually has a Christian leaning, but this doesn't really bother me, since I'm not exactly observant. The part that does bother me, is that my fiancé wants to do very traditional vows, which include vowing to "love, honor, and obey" him. He said it's very important to him, but I'm uncertain about whether or not I want to. There are a few factors affecting my decision.

We have a relationship with a dominant/submissive dynamic, I do obey him in most aspects of our everyday life, though we have an equal say when it comes to major decisions, as well as a few other guidelines I've put in place, such as my appearance being solely my decision.

The thing is though, I choose to be submissive to him, making a vow to do so makes it very permanent. I know that aspect of the vow isn't legally binding (and since obeying your husband isn't a tenet of Judaism, I don't consider it binding before God and have no religious obligation to do so), but I still feel that putting it in our vows sets a certain precedent.

I have told him that if I decide to do it, I'm not going to consider it binding, and I'm not going to change our current dynamic at all, and he's okay with that. I also told him that I'm absolutely not making that part of the vows we take at our formal ceremony in front of our families, and he agreed, it will just be something between us that no one else will know about.

I'm not 100% against it, I'm just uncertain whether or not I should take this vow, since it seems so archaic.

TL;DR: Fiancé wants me to vow to obey him, I'm undecided.

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Chapsticklover 59 points 2 hours ago

How long have you two been dating?

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[–]EmpressOfBritain [S] -70 points 1 hour ago

Six and a half months.

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My [25/F] friend [23/M] gifted me a very expensive piece of jewelry for Christmas. I'm worried he may feel differently for me than I do for him.

We've been friends for three years. In that time, he has always given me a poo poo ton of unnecessary attention. He always, always insists on bringing me soup when I'm feeling sick, calling me at the stroke of midnight on my birthday for the past three years, and even once on NYE, and he also makes a point to "interview" the guys I date. Honestly, this behaviour could easily be typical friend stuff ... and although our other friends have teased me now and again saying he likes me, I've always ignored the signs.

For a long time I've thought he's just extra nice, and that he doesn't have secret feelings for me, but after opening the gift he got me for Christmas this year ... I don't know.

It's a very expensive necklace from Tiffany's. Over a grand CDN. The very second I unwrapped the box and saw the Tiffany blue, I felt my stomach drop. I told him I couldn't accept it, but he insisted I keep it ... honestly, I don't wear jewelry, and even if I did, I wouldn't accept something like this from someone who is neither family nor an SO. I feel extra bad because I know he spent like two months rent on it. I currently have the necklace in my possession, but I want to have a talk with him after Christmas, maybe on boxing day, and ask what's going on.

Call me crazy, but guys don't typically purchase Tiffany's necklaces for girls they don't have feelings for, no?

I would have pulled him aside at the friends party and talked to him right then and there, but 20+ of our friends were present. I didn't want to embarrass him. I figure it's best to handle the matter in a private setting.

What should I say? And how do I give him the necklace back without coming off ungrateful? There's no way I'm going to keep it. No way. First, it's far too expensive. Second, if he does like me, I don't want to give him the wrong idea. Third, it's high time I talk to him about boundaries and that he can't just buy someone's affection.

tl;dr He's always given me extra special attention. I had myself convinced he was just nice, but now he's gone and gifted me a pricy necklace for Christmas, worth over a thousand Canadian dollars, and I'm left feeling completely uncomfortable with the gesture. I'm going to talk to him, I just need to figure out what to say, and how to give the necklace back without coming off rude or ungrateful.

quote:

Me [39F] with my daughter's [8F] step-mom [26F]: She gifted my daughter lingerie for Christmas.
This Christmas it was my ex-husband's [37M] turn to have our daughter for the holidays. My husband is re-married to [26F] and I have always been very civil and friendly towards my daughter's step-mom.

My daughter came back to my house today and she was showing me the gifts that she got to open at her dad's house. One of the items was a piece of lingerie (stockings, garter belt, corset, and thong set). I asked her who gifted that to her and she said "it was from 'Lisa' (step-mom)".

I am extremely angry. I do not think lingerie is appropriate for an 8 year old girl. I took the lingerie from my daughter and told her this wasn't age appropriate for her. My daughter also didn't fully understand what the items were (ex. the garter belt). I want to confront my ex-husband's wife about this inappropriate gift, but I am not sure how to go about doing this. Do I speak to my ex-husband about it? To his wife? Or am I blowing this out of proportion? I am not a prude by any means and I have no issue with lingerie, but I think this is a very inappropriate gift from a step-mom to an 8 year old. I also want to return the gifts to "Lisa", but my sister advised me against this and said it would be too hostile.

tl;dr: My [39F] daughter's [8F] step-mom [26F] gifted her lingerie for Christmas. I think this gift is inappropriate, and I am not sure how to proceed with confronting my ex-husband's wife.

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Did this lady go to a midget lingerie shop or is the answer a lot more horrifying?

quote:

StepMomConflictThrow [S] 16 points 43 minutes ago

The items were in the smallest size for adults.

Chomp8645 posted:

I'm finding it difficult to imagine that you can even buy lingerie for an 8-year old.

I'm thinking either some way off the wall poo poo went down with the step mom to acquire it, or the source is blowing up over something that's actually tame and definitely not lingerie and calling it "lingerie" as part of an overreaction.

corn on the cop posted:

quote:

due to issues with depression, ADHD and a phobia of hairwashing (not a joke), he is obese, he doesn't cut his hair, has a scraggly beard and suffers from severe dandruff. I'm not attracted to him sexually or aesthetically and I avoid kissing him most of the time.

quote:

We've never actually had 'full' sex but we occasionally do it 'manually' I guess you'd call it. I often cringe when I think about having sex with him

quote:

We have a really good relationship for the most part

bone app the teeth posted:

Not reddit but from imgur: http://imgur.com/gallery/QDCPE

tl;dr autist visits his brother in japan. it's really long so i won't paste the whole thing here.

quote:

We were in a crowded street walking and talking and he randomly mentioned "bukkake". I asked him to please dont say that, its SUPER embarassing. He tried explaining why he said BUKKAKE, and its no big deal they probably dont know what he's saying..BUKKAKE BUKKAKE..as I slowly sidestepped away while dying inside. I told him that word IS A JAPANESE WORD, please dont say that. Queue awkward silence on the train...