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I'm the sissy cuck that likes to sit in the corner manipulating my limp penis and sobbing uncontrollably while people gently caress my wife.
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Sep 29, 2016 18:59
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CodfishCartographer posted:This is some fuckin impressive mental gymnastics going on on her part. He's not anti Muslim, he just doesn't want them coming to the us. What's so hard to understand.
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Sep 30, 2016 01:27
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Chomp8645 posted:Yeah I was gonna say the worst part about that story isn't that they punished the wrong kid, it's that they are such pricks they think grounding him with nothing for an entire summer is an appropriate punishment for catching a kid with some weed. Also the fact that they think so little of their kid's integrity that they called him a liar when he protested and continued to do so until he just gave up and accepted his false conviction. I can't imagine losing almost an entire summer as a 14 yo. I'd hate my parents for years for something like that. 14 is probably one of the best summers, you're old enough to have a fair amount of freedom but not so old that your parents are telling you to get a job all the time.
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Sep 30, 2016 02:08
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Lockback posted:Everyone thinks they are above average intelligence-wise. If someone Thibs they are average they are probably dumb as rocks. Truth. Illusory superiority, or the above average effect. It's pretty funny and awesome tbh. This woman probably is dumb as poo poo. Still feel bad for her though, and her BIL and SIL are almost certainly giant dicks.
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Sep 30, 2016 02:40
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Lockback posted:Nahhh, she probably dumb. Dudes wife is getting plowed by sweaty nerds and can only orgasm when she simultaneously catches a Lapras.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:18
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Bud K ninja sword posted:12 months no sex I'd tell her I was totally fine with this and then make sure she "accidentally" walks in on me jerking it three times a day.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:25
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LethalGeek posted:https://archive.is/uULD2 The op purged her post but this thankfully captured it. Pete fukkin owns.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:27
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Bonzo posted:Religion, Irrational anger, treating people like possessions, this one has it all. I think this guy is just fishing for virgin redditor poon.
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Oct 3, 2016 20:30
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:It seems like it's out of a comedy movie, I can only imagine the nonverbal cues that the guy totally missed while she said "did you hear me last night". She was pointing at her vagina and making a vigorous rubbing motion but thank god it turns out she was just talking about a coyote that howled or something.
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Oct 5, 2016 14:28
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I didn't realize the dicks out for Harambe meant I'm supposed to be sending pictures of my cock to all my female friends. I will rectify this immediately.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:15
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Theokotos posted:Pete and Eagle Boyfriend deserve their own call in radio show/podcast where they solve romantic queries and quandaries. Also mysteries. Nah. They deserve something cooler than that. Pete and eagle bf and eagle should hit the road in an RV stopping in small towns to romance their women, fight crime, and review their diners.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:29
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Dial-a-Dog posted:Covering with the Harambe meme is honestly kind of clever considering the guy was too stupid to just delete the pictures from the conversations, even if it obviously didn't work If the gf is retarded enough to believe it then she's retarded enough to believe literally anything. Like might as well say that those texts weren't actually sent to women, they were sent to aliens and the only thing that stops the invasion is a daily dick pic.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:32
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Dial-a-Dog posted:I would've just gone with "oh my god my phone's been hacked" myself You still have to explain why you've got a dozen dick selfies that you took but didn't send to your gf. But that's pretty easy tbh: 1. Keeping a record over time to identify possible changes that could be dick and/or ball cancer. 2. All those dick picks were going into a giant cock collage that I was going to give you on your birthday. Way to ruin it. 3. Test shots for possible career as a dick model. Etc.
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Oct 5, 2016 18:01
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Nazzadan posted:Not necessarily funny, but topical with recent happenings At one point early in the evening we were hearing strange sounds and what appeared to be someone screaming followed by lot popping and crunching noises. While in the bathroom my buddy decided to have a peak outside of the bathroom window. My buddy lets out a yell and busts out into the room and I'm like "what?!" He doesn't say anything but goes right to his backpack and gets his Smith and Wesson 357 out. I'm thinking "what the gently caress" and I dig into my bag to get my Sig 232 out. He says we need to get the gently caress out of there right now. I saw he was serious and that made me serious about it, we grabbed our poo poo for the most part (left a few clothes behind) and looked out the peep sight to make sure it was clear to our car. I threw my gun into my pocket, he put his in his waistband and we hauled rear end to the car and got the hell out of there. On the ride away, I asked what he saw in the bathroom. He told me when he looked out the window there was this creepy-rear end clown facing away from the window, pants at his ankles, making a weird motion. He told me the clown slowly turned 90 degrees to look at him, my friend said he looked down to see this clown loving a full-sized dinner ham, when he looked up from the ham loving the clown was smiling and waving at him.
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Oct 5, 2016 21:28
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Pick posted:this can be particularly helpful if one person is having sexual difficulties. with an open relationship, the other partner can experience what it's like to not have to address that problem. everyone wins. Yes I frequently find myself wishing there was someone around who could plow my gf when I've got whiskey dick. e: maybe despite my inebriation I could also find a way to "prep" this person, somehow. bird with big dick fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Oct 5, 2016 |
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Oct 5, 2016 22:07
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Boner confessor is a pro user name.
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Oct 6, 2016 00:24
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Xaris posted:i doubt it's fake since there's a lot of hosed up broken people, and i know a few people not to dissimilar. But then again i believe about 18/20 of these except like smeagol pubes which was just funny. Yeah, I think it's legit and even if it weren't I guarantee identical things happen pretty regularly. loving lol @ "We're not going to pay for your third wedding" equating to "no more than $15,000" in mom's eyes.
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Oct 6, 2016 00:26
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Panfilo posted:Some people actually know how to save and budget for the wedding they want? Also, big parties are fun. p sure it's possible to have a big fun party without a 13,000 dollar dress.
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Oct 6, 2016 01:50
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CodfishCartographer posted:I (33m) overheard my girlfriend (28f) making fun of me pretty brutally to her best friend (27m). When I say brutally... I mean brutally. Person convinced that 4" is average spotted. Also person that thinks education equals IQ.
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Oct 6, 2016 05:33
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Tom Gorman posted:+/- 1" of dicksize means nothing Person with 3" dick spotted.
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Oct 6, 2016 06:50
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Gluten Freeman posted:listen to this delusional idiot Don't be silly. Every 22 yo supermodel level hot woman wants to get in the pants of a 36 yo that kinda looks like international sex symbol tom hanks.
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Oct 6, 2016 14:00
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More cock talk: Study looked at 15,000 dicks and average was 5.2. But what I didn't know, and is more interesting imo, is that the 5th percentile was 4" and the 95th percentile was 6.3". The 95th really surprised me. I figured it'd be more like 8". Like if you have a 6.5" cock it's bigger than 95% of guys. That doesn't seem like it can be right to me. But 15000 dicks is a lot of dicks.
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Oct 6, 2016 14:07
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Prep...prep the bull? That does suck. Feel bad for that dude.
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Oct 6, 2016 14:10
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I made a thread to continue talking about dicks if anyone is interested in doing so without further thread derailment.
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Oct 6, 2016 14:56
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Pick posted:me (26F) confused how to read What's so difficult? OP is both 20m and 25f and has a 25 yo crush that they are unaware of the gender of, and a 29f gf. Gender is not binary or exclusive or in some cases a thing that exists at all, so get out of here with your cishetero oppression.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:26
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sucked my twin off posted:Me [16 M] with my parents [40's M/F], my parents saw me naked with a boner while I had a freind over. Now they think I'm gay. It's possible I had a sheltered Midwest upbringing but I never did circle jerks nor naked boner waggling when I was a kid.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:28
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subway masturbator posted:Husband [30m] wants to split joint account Your husband is a giant dickbag, sever and take him to the cleaners.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:33
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CharlestonJew posted:if he was showing off his boner to his friend why did he have to get completely naked for it And What do guys do after watching porn together? Cuddle naked?
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Oct 6, 2016 17:41
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quote:I'll do any role, even if it's a lovely one Protip: so will literally 1 million other LA residents.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:56
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DOMDOM posted:Here's a girl so insecure she feels threatened by an inanimate object. OK so the inanimate object is a ring containing a diamond with his dead wife's essence, but still. It's not like dead wife can use this anchor as a gateway to haunt them.... Pretty sure cremation diamonds are almost entirely a scam so this is more a memorial for this guy being a sucker than it is that forhis wife.
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Oct 6, 2016 19:02
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Pick posted:nah, part of learning to communicate is realizing you're the idiot at least like 1/3 of the time Lol, maybe for you. 1/100 at worst for me.
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Oct 6, 2016 20:34
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If it'd been me I woulda grabbed my gun and defended my wife and then the intruders probably would have shot her and then I'd have shot them and this is why it's not always a good thing to have/use a gun.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:01
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Pick posted:Yeah, if it's your partner than they should basically be up to saving themselves in that scenario. But I don't really think that's a fair standard to put on a one-year-old. One year olds can crawl quite rapidly and additionally they're small enough that they're difficult to hit with a handgun so if anything the one year old should be trying to save me.
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Oct 7, 2016 20:01
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Pick posted:Smartest guy I know ended up working at a call center. Took him like five years to get out of that poo poo I'm starting to think we know each other. How big was this guys dick?
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Oct 7, 2016 20:20
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Regulation Size posted:honestly, there are so many uninspired nude photos floating around 4chan, like literally thousands, that I'm surprised anyone would care. especially a "SFW" nude. fuckin' yawn, dude. Not nearly as many with their FB name attached to it though. I assume by now this photo has been sent to every friend, relative and co worker this woman has.
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Oct 7, 2016 22:20
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Leon Einstein posted:Saying you want to put it up a cheerleaders butt is middle schooler talk. Wtf. It's actually locker room banter and it's appropriate at any age.
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Oct 16, 2016 01:15
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It's a well known scientific fact that a giant 70s bush is a 100% deterrent to both rape and infidelity.
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Oct 18, 2016 02:00
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:How can I get my husband to consider a sensible career, like restaurant ownership or self-publishing? At least writing a book only requires a copy of Word. But restaurant starting would definitely put them into bankruptcy far more rapidly than Vanilla Ice Jr farting around in the basement with his friends.
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Oct 21, 2016 21:18
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Leon Einstein posted:Ugh, divorce that wife. She can roam the earth searching for the guy that doesn't jerk it and die alone. I'm the guy. I've never jerked it.
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Oct 21, 2016 23:07
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Pick posted:I know we often agree on stuff, but I disagree on this. I don't think people are nearly as good at separating fiction and reality as they think they are. If they were, advertising and marketing wouldn't work. It's quite clear that there are grown-rear end loving adults who are influenced by the media they consume, in this case pornography. I think a lot of men thinking that all women are size queens is an attitude that is heavily reinforced by pornography, for example. It's not the porn. It's that the guys are retarded. Or extremely inexperienced. Or both. As a non retard I can watch pornography without thinking that women want nine inch hog legs and the most appropriate place for semen is always in her eyeballs.
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Oct 21, 2016 23:23
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