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Chard
Aug 24, 2010




NeurofiBROma posted:

my dog pukes on the tile where its easy to eat

good dog

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Chard
Aug 24, 2010




i am the zodiac

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Putty posted:

goblins are real and Donald Trump is goign to bed with a goblin

hmm, a persuasive argument for my vote

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Improbable Lobster posted:

Yeah, you don't know what double penetration is

It's when you find a normal, two-dick man to satisfy your wife in ways your sick pathetic monophallus never could.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




CaptainJuan posted:

I AM A DRUG PUSHER ROBOT

I am protected! (by having lovely insurance)

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




lol if you read any fesh longer than 2 graphs

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Hey now, not every gun owner is racist. Some of them are simply cowards.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




It's okay to hate people and to be happier alone, but please don't prey on desperate people at the same time.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Solice Kirsk posted:

True story incoming:

My buddy's wife is pregnant and they're in an open relationship. They've been fighting a lot all of a sudden. Now I've never been in a truly open relationship, but I have been in failing ones, and this one is gonna explode into a million pieces. Super glad they decided this was a good idea when they had two little kids already that are gonna get caught up in this poo poo show.

The funniest/worst thing about it is that they were confident that they were mature enough to pull this off and it's what they both wanted. This should probably go in the schadenfreude thread, but it fits here too.

Shouldn't have knocked up your buddy's wife dude.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




the future is WOW posted:

Ah yes, the rare straight white male who doesn't believe in "coddling"; truly a unique trait amongst a group of people renowned for their unfailing sympathy and soft-heartedness towards the disadvantaged and others that differ from them in any way.

loquacious taps a solid double, and you just chase after it waving a bat in the air, smh

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




subhuman filth posted:

To be fair, pre meds richly deserve it

post/username synchronicity 100%

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




loquacius posted:

I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.

I have been seeing a therapist for 9 years, as long as the memories have been happening. I believe with all my heart that some event happened 9 years ago that stranded me in this timeline/universe without my wife. And I miss her every day, even though my therapist says she's just an amalgamation of my various "dream women" in my life, an idealized version of everyone I've dated and everyone I've ever had a crush on.

But I swear to God, every morning I wake up and for a moment, I remember waking up next to her. And then I feel the warm tears running down my cheeks and start my lonely day.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Sjs00 posted:

I loved refridgerator Jones though!

hisssssss

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




loquacius posted:

I have an addiction to chinese buffets that is starting to threaten my life and health.

I go 5-6 times a week. That would be okay if I only had a plate or two, but I usually have 5 or 6 plates each visit to maximize my value. And there are some times I go for both lunch and dinner in one day, which I know isn't too good.

I did it as a coping mechanism for my very stressful job. Then I noticed I was putting on weight - I ballooned up from 210 lbs to 290 in the last 6 months. I still love that buffet though and for 8 bucks, you can't beat the value. I am really torn on what to do.

Tyler_the_Creator_HaHa_tweet_buffet.txt

Chard fucked around with this message at 04:18 on Feb 9, 2017

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




loquacius posted:

the goon is coming from inside the house

I do not believe this, but if it's even partially true it might be the creepiest thing posted so far.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




loquacius posted:

Say it ain't so, Kane


The height and weight thing tipped this over into "not believable" territory, maybe cut back on that. Flying a little too close to the sun.

He's just part Tolkien-dwarf, pure muscle and iron ingots

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




OMGVBFLOL posted:

lmao 5'6" x 240 is like a loving human cube

i hope they also include death traps for any invaders

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




If I don't have a burg on the hour every hour I start posting racist & sexist memes to every social media portal available, am I weird??

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Weird revenge drama aside, I'd probably eat cat meat given a chance. Not from strays though they probably are full of parasites.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




Please do not reply to komodowagon, jfc

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




OBJECTION, those ants would be much more concerned with protecting their colony than organizing a navel hoedown, should any of them in fact survive their anal imprisonment

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Chard
Aug 24, 2010




yeah I eat rear end posted:

Just another thought - I wonder how much leeway you have on changing the lighting in the whitehouse. If you wanted to replace it all with torches and candleabras etc, could you?

That would be exceptionally bad rear end, completely separate from the infinite screaming horror of everything else WH related

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