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Splicer posted:See thread title? Yeah if god isn't satisfied with a dick sacrifice I don't know what will make him happy.
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Jul 29, 2018 15:42
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Danaru posted:What the hell kind of sins is this guy committing if flaying his back isnt pennance enough?? Given the stereotype of ultra-penitent religious men, my guess is "thought about having sex with a man".
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Jul 29, 2018 16:05
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That first one is so loving dumb I wouldn't be surprised if he copy pasted it from some facebook/whatever post where there was a "like and share if you know someone like this (bunch of laughing+crying emojis)". My overall response to it is "no you didn't". You don't even need to nitpick the details like with some of the less contrived ones. If anything happened it was something like "wouldn't it be funny if ____" and the rest happened in the poster's head. Nobody is idiotic enough to openly threaten murder and fire an actual gun over the heads of a wedding audience.
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Jul 30, 2018 17:10
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Son of Man posted:murder-fetishists goon: shut up. you are not interesting or special or edgy. this garbage you read at the library and watch on netflix is so abundant because there are millions of pathetic white males like yourself who can't get enough of it. you are hosed in the head. you need more self esteem and meaningful human interaction in your life. you will find that these things only interest you because of your lack of humanity This message needs to be hammered in to every person's head who wants people to consider them a potential serial killer like it's a good thing. It gets you attention, sure, but there are ways to get attention that lead to people actually liking you instead of making them think "leave me alone creep". Plus listing things like dexter and mindhunter as some fringe/extreme thing to enjoy is pretty hilarious. You aren't a socio/psychopath. Stop thinking that those make you more interesting, they don't except to medical professionals whose job is to treat you if you are (which to reiterate, you aren't).
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Jul 30, 2018 20:03
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H.H posted:From my experience, soldiers (especially those who killed enemy combatants) are very careful about even joking about that sort of thing. Or a shut-in who plays too much call of duty who thought of some ~wacky~ hypothetical way he could get his sister to let him come to the wedding without embarrassing her directly.
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Jul 31, 2018 08:54
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Making a couple assumptions on hedgewizard goon I have an idea of what genre the book is and if I'm right they should probably stop the blood stuff or the book will become actually cursed. don't encourage him, there's no such thing as curses. Except gypsy ones, stay away from gypsies and if they touch you bake your blood in to a pie and give it to your worst enemy.
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Jul 31, 2018 22:32
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SniperWoreConverse posted:mummy curses are also real like gypsy ones but there's only like 3 mummies who never got dug up already Yeah I forgot the mummy curses, those are obviously real but like you say all the good ones have probably already been claimed. The ones that are left are probably just minor curses like "your cat will like you slightly less" or "the weather tomorrow will be mildly irritable". We should start mummifying our leaders when they die and put them in super spooky tombs so future generations can enjoy the really powerful ones. Imagine the curse that would be unleashed when Trump's sarcophagus is opened in a couple thousand years.
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Aug 1, 2018 09:22
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Holy poo poo, people in the airport wearing black suits? Obviously the MIB, what else would they be doing there? I wasn't sure if I believed in this conspiracy but I can't keep denying it in the face of such compelling evidence. also selling knockoff products isn't "scamming". They are paying for a product, and getting exactly what you are selling. You could probably put anything in it and as long as there's an anti-obama message the same people would probably buy it. I'm sure they don't feel scammed, anyway. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Aug 2, 2018 |
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Aug 2, 2018 11:52
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How is that second one a confession? It's just some anime goon too scared to post about anime.
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Aug 2, 2018 17:31
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The day I encounter that goon's rancid rear end is the day i resign from my profession of rear end eating.
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Aug 9, 2018 15:58
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therattle posted:I did know that! I just thought it was a hobby or a lifestyle; not a job. you better not be trying to get in on this. I've worked hard to become the world's premiere eater of rear end and I won't let an amateur like you encroach on my territory.
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Aug 9, 2018 17:51
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I don't even know what monster hunter world is. I have taken over a week off (unannounced and unexplained to anyone, I just didn't go) to play hearthstone so I can't judge though.
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Aug 10, 2018 16:33
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Son of Man posted:hurricane is an 8 or 10% abv malt liquor, so drinking two 40s in two hours every night is pretty drat heavy. get help if you need it. there's no shame in being an alcoholic, this world is a gay hell toilet. I think it says something about me that I consider that to be barely a warmup and if I stopped there I would wake up feeling as if I had a sober night.
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Aug 11, 2018 21:09
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wesleywillis posted:How sober or drunk do you have to be to eat rear end? I will not reveal my trade secrets. The only one I will answer is the last one - I will not eat rear end until marriage, as decreed by the lord.
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Aug 12, 2018 21:01
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Is this the argument that will get this thread shut down? Quick, let's talk about fahrenheit vs celsius or something.
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Aug 22, 2018 15:09
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wesleywillis posted:Can your tongue measure temperature when you're eating rear end? I can't tell. I either heat my tongue to give the traditional spicy rear end or chill it to give the ice rear end. Either way if is too desensitized to get an accurate temperature reading.
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Aug 22, 2018 22:57
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Yeah the woods one was pretty memorable. Also the one about the thing in the pool. I wouldn't go into a pool at night for a while after that one.
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Aug 24, 2018 09:13
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non-anonymous confession: I enjoyed Scary Movie more than Scream. Probably because I watched it first (more likely: my horror movie opinions are just terrible).
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Aug 24, 2018 15:19
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:I've been thinking about doing a big horror movie post, wife and I have been watching so many recently there are a surprising number of good ones between Netflix and Amazon Prime. I would be interested in this. I have a lot of horror movie opinions and nowhere to put them. My life goal is to watch every syfy original movie (which tend more toward horror than scifi) but there are so many. I think last time I checked I was around 60% through, which is far too many bad horror movies for one lifetime, but i can't stop now.
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Aug 25, 2018 11:53
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Azza Bamboo posted:I put myself at... I think it's kind of silly to try and put a label on things that are inherently fluid. Like those personality type tests. Your personality changes. The people you are attracted to can also change. Even if they didn't, what good is knowing what label you are beyond just curiosity? Just be yourself.
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Aug 25, 2018 16:25
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RFC2324 posted:I'm pretty straight but strip joints do nothing for me The only strip club I've been to was mostly populated with single moms who tell you about their kid while they spread their rear end for you on stage. And if you get a lapdance, you have to keep your hands behind your head the entire time, and the girl is only topless. It was lame and unerotic as hell. They had really good burgers though.
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Aug 25, 2018 19:06
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I'm expecting the followup if there is one to be whining that cult leader rape girl isn't paying as much attention to him anymore now that he joined and she's loving some other guy now. If that happens cult goon, no matter how sad you are that she's not raping you anymore, don't offer yourself up as a sacrifice in some ritual they cook up to bring the other god through, no matter how much she promises to bang you in the afterlife. also maybe umm don't participate in any of the future rapings. "It was for a cult" isn't a valid legal defense.
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Aug 28, 2018 09:34
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I think it's somewhat telling about my own habits but it's hard not to scoff at someone describing 1-2 glasses of whiskey and a few beers as "excessive". Like to me that's just the start of a warmup for a night of drinking. Trust me goon, you don't want to see where it goes after that where you start measuring your drinking in bottles instead of glasses.
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Aug 28, 2018 20:50
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Son of Man posted:Americans' opinions on alcohol and drugs should be 1000% ignored. our culture is not even close to being able to talk honestly about mind altering chemicals. there is still too much protestant righteousness for people to admit that they like to alter their consciousness. 35% of Americans have never had a drink? give me a loving break. that chart is just a testament that Americans like to lie about their vices so they can judge people I drink a shitload, like a few liters a week give or take depending on how stressed out I am, and I can confirm I lie about it (to the point where if I grab a glass of champagne at a wedding my parents will be surprised and say "I thought you didn't drink?" etc) and am highly judgmental of other drinkers. It's easier to lay in to other people than yourself.
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Aug 29, 2018 17:57
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Piell posted:If you're drinking alone every day, lol I'm not that pathetic, I take a day off every week or two.
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Aug 29, 2018 19:46
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Wasn't there a fesh a while back about a goon shopping around for cults? It must suck for that guy to read about how this goon not only found a cult to join but they banged him into it.
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Aug 29, 2018 20:08
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SciFiDownBeat posted:This sounds like the plot of a really bad anime (hentai?) Nobody seems to be related, and presumably (maybe?) they are all above the age of consent. I'm not seeing it.
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Aug 30, 2018 16:26
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I wouldn't be surprised if that first (real) fesh is the person who is sending in so many and just wants recognition. The idea of being able to identify the fesh authors is just kind of stupid and unbelievable so that must be the explanation. I'm kind of curious who it is if not though, because I have written more than a few here and there.
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Aug 30, 2018 18:27
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burial posted:I don’t know. There’ve been times when I’ve thought about sending stuff in and then I don’t because even though I’m a pretty infrequent and entirely unmemorable poster, I figure there’s quirks to the way I write that somebody’d figure it out if they wanted to which would be upsetting. That's assuming the frequent feshers don't try and alter their posting style from one to another.
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Aug 30, 2018 19:59
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burial posted:They can try all they want. Isn’t the idea that sufficiently thorough analysis or whatever could find the patterns and nuance anyway? Maybe, but the thought of someone doing that properly on a bunch of confessions like this and correlating it with every user's posting is just so far out there that it's hilarious to imagine someone caring that much.
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Aug 30, 2018 20:08
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My dad said it was jusy a bunch of old men getting drunk and arguing about whether to have spaghetti or lasagna next meeting with some play8ng dressup mixed in. He quit as soon as he stopped drinking. They definitely werent up to anything shady ....or were they...
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Aug 31, 2018 16:29
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my friend I think he might have not been being 100% serious.
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Sep 1, 2018 07:29
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In my experience people who say things like that are inflicting it entirely on themselves and not even giving people with the "wrong" accent/whatever a chance.
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Sep 1, 2018 18:51
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Why show a fingernail for scale? Show us the mangled toe too rear end in a top hat (the fesher, not loquacius).
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Sep 3, 2018 23:22
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Yeah umm...no thanks. I wasn't that curious.
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Sep 9, 2018 12:59
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Puzzles are a good way to pass some time, especially if the power/internet is out, but gently caress the ones where half of it is a clear blue sky. At least give me some clouds to work with.
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Sep 9, 2018 14:00
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ScentOfAnOtaku posted:But see the cops would get away with it no problem, where as he would probably have a huge investigation to go through. Why would you do anything but call the cops in that situation? That's a good question to ask the sister in law. You're supposed to be whispering to 911 in the closet while your murderous husband hunts you down, not a family member. In any case both of the people in the story sound like exactly the types of people who shouldn't be allowed to own guns.
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Sep 11, 2018 21:13
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wesleywillis posted:Depends if the anon/his brother is white or not. They definitely sound white trash as hell. I think as long as they don't shoot the pregnant wife too they'd get away with it.
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Sep 12, 2018 13:13
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loquacius posted:Someone else sent in a large list of feshes, claiming to have written them, probably because someone else did that earlier. There's a huge number of them this time (with links) which made me hesitant to post it at all due to a desire to "preserve the mystery" but if people want to see it I'll post it. Crowdsourcing this decision to The Thread. I'd be interested in knowing how many there are but if it's just a wall of links I probably wouldn't click on more than one or two of them. There have been a lot of people claiming to have written a lot of fake confessions and I never really cared to know which ones. I'd only be curious if that one goon's method flagged all/most of them as the same writer.
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Sep 14, 2018 16:43
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That first one just sounds like he discovered "deja vu" is a thing. I'm pretty sure that goon only "remembers" his visions after the event actually happens.
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Sep 15, 2018 14:15
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