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Wrt interracial dating, specifically in the caseof people like Mike Colter, there's the wildly unreasonable and unrealistic expectation among successful and well-educated black men that are successful that we should "wait" until a black woman finds us worthy so that our success can stay in the community. I've heard many comments from single black women while I'm single about how I better not end up with a white woman because we need to keep our success in the community, but they themselves had no interest in me. In Mike Colters case, he didn't meet her once he got on, they had been dating since grad school when he was a broke rear end college student. Can't be mad at that. That being said, any black person I meet that ONLY dates outside their race I sideeye the gently caress out of them, barring extenuating circumstances (i.e., lived in a town where they were the only black people, etc). negromancer fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Nov 8, 2016 |
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Nov 8, 2016 19:25
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Hey uh kill whitey and all but I'm really not comfortable with characterizing women of any stripe as gold-digging. And I don't particularly like that stereotype of black women either - that's some hostile poo poo black men say after they get rejected. Let's not gently caress up the intersectionality game here. Women are people. Not saying they are gold-digging, I'm saying they have different priorities due to upbringing. A LOT of my white women coworkers grew up in homes with a dad that worked and a mom that didn't, or a mom that was able to not work during their formative years and could sustain on a single income. Black women have been pretty much told at every turn that black men cannot provide that kind of life for them, that it's a relic of the past, etc etc, so they don't take into account income as high of a priority, especially if they are a high income earner themselves as an initial barrier. The media targeted at black women doesn't require black men to have financial stability. The households black people grow up in are given different lessons about dating and marriage than white households, on average. Hell, look at the difference between what black people consider a "good job" for a black man versus a "good job" among white people in corporate America. A black woman, in my experience, will care more about a mans height than his wallet in corporate America. The white women are thinking "can he afford a house, can we go single income, etc" because that's the prep they received at home and through media targeted at them. It's the lessons and upbringing that are different, and it causes a diverging where they can look at the same high earning black man and come to wildly different conclusions about his suitability for dating, though they have the same education and have the same jobs in corporate America. We had a very diverse team at my last job and our team of black women, white women, gay white dude, and 2 black men used to discuss this all the time, since we were all single NYC transplants. That being said, there's gonna be white women that don't care how much you make because BLACK trumps all else and they ain't with the shits, and that's like half of them at least off the rip. But I don't know poo poo personally, I've just been hit on a lot by white women in the workplace, never actually dated one. Koalas March posted:This is a good point that I totally missed. There's also this reaction, and that's because a LOT of black women talk about how they have ZERO interest in white men for a multitude of reasons.
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Nov 8, 2016 19:43
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Naw maaaannn, this is some "I just meant black culture" poo poo. Please don't. Women are people and you are not a woman so don't tell women how they are. "Black women care more about a man's height than his wallet" what? Women are people, they care about what they as individual human beings want in another person. I'm not telling women how they are, I'm telling my experiences and the experiences of other black men. No one suggested black women aren't people, no one even tried to make that case. What I'm sharing is the experience that black men have in corporate America, and how the differences is in how we are treated within that space. Trying to police and shut down the sharing of experiences and emotions of black men is sorta an issue we have RIGHT NOW, with black mothers raising black boys that men don't cry, complain, etc. Having the expectation that black men should listen to the experiences of black women as it relates to misogynoir and our internalized sexism and racism seems kinda hypocritical if you aren't willing to listen to how black women also internalize a lot of negative things as it relates to black men and reflects in how we, ourselves are treated by black women. Also the points you're taking umbrage with have been spoken about by quite a few black women matchmakers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y3AFNNGQjM The TL;DR of everything that I was saying, is that you can ask plenty of black men that have risen through the ranks. I've been treated the same in the dating arena from being straight up unemployed and drat near homeless to today, and by that I mean, I've always been able to date up and down the socioeconomic ladder of black women without any gatekeeping due to my income, which there are a variety of reasons for completely not related to black women (like black people making 100k are more likely to live in a neighborhood where the average income is 35k than any other race), but with money and status comes access, and that money and status definitely affects how people date. For example: When broke: Out of the 10 black women I approach, 3 of them agree to a date. Out of the 10 white women I approach (which may be over a much longer timespan due to people tending to live around their own race), 1 agrees. When middle-manager being the only black man in a virtually white space: Out of the 10 black women I approach (which now has the longer timespan due to shift in environment), 4 of them agree to a date. Out of the 10 white women I approach (which I have now greater access to due to environment), 4 of them agree to a date. You're definitely going to notice the difference in the sudden availability of white women, and some black men get fixated on why the availability of black women hasn't risen in proportion. Well, in my experience with black men, they react in a variety of ways: 1) They get amnesia about AWL the black women that was fuckin with them when they had a mattress on the floor eating ramen and saw the potential in them, and go the route of "well only white women like me now, black women are too superficial", not taking into account the differences in environment as well, that they are just around a LOT less black people in general for 8-12 hours a day. 2) They been checked how their daily environment changed as their income did, and realized that staying connected to your people takes WORK. As in, going to black singles events, joining meetup groups for black professionals, etc, and putting in the time to build new friendships and relationships, and not attending every all white people all the time work event that comes up just so "they don't forget about you". So it's a conflation of factors that lead a lot of men that get on and end up acting like fuckboys towards black women in corporate America, and its mostly a case of lack of self-awareness/entitlement about their changing situation and how they themselves have changed as well in order to get success in institutionally racist structures. That being said, there is entitlement that many black men encounter among black women in corporate America, risen out of that same place of "success in professional life = I should be able to date the person of my dreams" and I have had to explain to both black men and women that this ain't how poo poo works. Degrees and promotions don't come with relationships attached, and are completely unrelated. It's just a WHOLE lot of unexamined entitlement, biases, along with letting institutionally racist environments change us for the worse among both genders that lead to either the "I'M OWED THIS PERSON" or "gently caress MY OWN PEOPLE", and instead of looking at the root causes, it leads to "black women are superficial" or "black men will get on and leave ya rear end for a white girl". And neither of those are correct.
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Nov 8, 2016 20:46
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:lol. White people claiming not to "get" "black names" is one of my favorite things. Especially when they're just deliberately obtuse. I know a guy who will literally insist on pronouncing names like "D'Anthony" as "Dan-thony" and it's like, what the gently caress point are you even trying to make? Sorry that black people aren't mired in conventional thinking when it comes to names, skyler aidyn jones. But if you show them some Polish name with 6 z's and no vowels, somehow they pronounce it perfectly.
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Nov 8, 2016 20:46
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woke wedding drone posted:This is getting into pick-up artist theorizing territory. It's really not. It's talking about how people don't realize that things change because their environment changed, and how that affects their dating lives and availability of people they are interested in. You get dudes who go from growing up around virtually all black people, to going to college, to then a workplace with all white people, move to a white neighborhood, and then go "where all the black women at, they must not like me for x,y, and z", when they don't realize they just are around a LOT less black people on the whole.
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Nov 8, 2016 20:49
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Trabisnikof posted:English isn't really the language I'd pick to try and die on the "rules of pronouncing words are consistent" hill. I can give you plenty of white as gently caress names that don't follow the same pronunciation rules as each other. Names and English both don't follow consistent rules, welcome to the language. 
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Nov 8, 2016 20:52
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woke wedding drone posted:It's trying to extrapolate your limited experience to "black women date like this, white women date like this" and expecting a pass for it. Except...literally black women matchmakers talk about how its a persistent issue in their black women clients, I literally posted a video of just that. And I explained how that's NOT what I was saying, and its the go to response for people who don't examine their environment and biases. Tiny Brontosaurus posted:What did everyone keep saying in that shitshow of a QCS thread? Don't Double Down. I'm a woman, I'm telling you what you're saying is sexist. Please stop. We shouldn't have to fight about this. You're right. I'll ask you why in the PMs and we can have a further discussion if needed.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:04
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Talmonis posted:I get twitchy as gently caress about new age white kid names. Aiden, Brayden, Kayden, Jayden..... oh and "Gunner" (shockingly his father has a pickup with fake smokestacks and covered in NRA stickers. Poor kid.) Trig is the worst. THE WORST NAME.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:06
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Baronjutter posted:I feel like it's a bit unfair to make fun of people with terrible names because it really wasn't their choice. Shame the parents some how, but the poor kid has to live with it or adopt their middle name or some poo poo. YES. I'm always like "Tell me more white man about how you can pronounce with perfection the Call of Cthulu but can't pronounce Dashana"
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Nov 8, 2016 21:08
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Now this is something I'm posting from pure ignorance, but it is something I've noticed. It was brought up that people don't get to choose their own names, BUT we as black people when we have ethnic names, just resign ourselves to correcting every ignorant white person that feels like being a jackass about their ethnic illiteracy, but Asians, specifically Chinese and Vietnamese, will make up a American name like Jake or Mike, when their real name is Nguyen or Han, and rather than make them call them by their actual name and put some respekt on it.\ I've never understood how they reacted in that manner while simultaneously professing an abundance of ethnic pride.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:11
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Darko posted:Happens a lot with black men. As I stated before, being a black man of any stature is harder than dating as a nerdy white man, so when things don't "work," people start making theories on how to beat the system and over thinking things. Yep, when its usually the simplest answer, like "you moved to an all white town, did you expect black women to fall from the sky?"
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Nov 8, 2016 21:13
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Baronjutter posted:To be fair to some sheltered people, some names are a bit unintuitive to pronounce and if you've grown up only exposed to a certain stock of names, new ones can throw you for a loop. I had a friend named Sean and a friend named Liam in school and teachers would constantly get them wrong. "See-an?" "Lie-am?". God drat my friend "Bonnar" had it a bit rough too. And unless you know the name, Siobhan is never going to be said correctly. Black people are extra cool about how we approach it. If we look at your name and know we can't pronounce that poo poo to save our lives, congrats, you got a new cool rear end nickname. At least that's how it was in the projects growing up. Hell we did that to people who DON'T have complicated names. My cousin Anthony is called Scooter by EVERYONE. I literally thought his name was Scooter until I was 24 and went to visit him when he was locked up. LeftistMuslimObama posted:I work in tech so I have a lot of Chinese and Indian coworkers, and what they tell me is that if white people can pronounce your name and you look "presentable (e.g., dressed like a white person) then people will more or less just treat you like any other person. For a black person, changing your name isn't going to make you any less black and it's blackness that whites react to. Being dicks about names is just one of many tools in the toolbox of hate. That makes an abundance of sense and now I'm mad I didn't think of that earlier.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:16
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Well, I actually teach Chinese Immigrants almost exclusively, so let me offer my perspective. See, you can't come into Negrotown and drop something like the bolded and NOT give examples, famalam. Tarezax posted:If I may add a different minority experience with names, I'm Chinese and my last name is rare enough that it doesn't have an accepted Americanization like Zhang or Wang. I haven't actually settled on one myself. People don't get it right because they literally can't, like their brain can't process the sound correctly. Thanks! I didn't want to assume a reason, it was just something I've noticed among specific Asian groups, and I haven't gotten around to formally learning Cantonese yet.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:19
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:Just ask. Just say "Hey, how do you pronounce your name?". It's their name, they can tell you. They will appreciate you making the effort. Telling someone you're going to gently caress up their name without asking how to say it just comes off as them not being important enough for you to pause your talking for 5 seconds to ask them. I found that if you admit that "hey, I'm def gonna gently caress your name up" after asking how to pronounce it, and following that up with "and when I do, please correct me, as I don't want to disrespect you and call you something you aint" Never ever had a problem.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:21
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Yeah, this has always been the reality for most of my colleagues. Chinese also has a lot of sounds that just cannot be transliterated into English. Runqi is a good example. The "qi" there is not at all pronounced like you would expect "qi" to be pronounced but there literally isn't a way to express that sound using English letters. Interesting story: When I grew up they used to put kung-fu movies on at like 11pm Saturday to 2am Sunday every weekend, but our tv was so hosed up that you couldn't see the subtitles, so when I finally went to Beijing I was like 
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Nov 8, 2016 21:25
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Let's see... first he was Rain (who I guess is a Korean rapper?) It's RAIN, shitlord. Put some respekt on his name! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhEkT3JObTA
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Nov 8, 2016 21:27
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:Matchmakers in general seem to be lovely people who operate on stereotypes. The one black woman matchmaker is still an undecided voter, but was leaning towards Jill Stein. So...you're probably right. Also the same woman who told me I couldn't get a quality (read:black woman at my income level) woman dressed the way I do on my instagram (as in jeans, gym shoes, Iron Man t-shirt). blackguy32 posted:I would just like to say that following Jesse Williams twitter is a pro-tip. He had a fantastic critique of Django Unchained, speaks out about racial issues, and is one of my favorite celebrities to read. You post this but don't post the BET speech? You're trash bro.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:30
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Well she's right Jokes on you, I have 2 Hawkeye shirts that I wear when I go hunting.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:31
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Darko posted:Speaking from personal example, I used to over-theorize a lot when I was young - there's even history of it in this forum under my old name. YES. I keep having to tell younger black men coming up in corporate America this. You're literally being evaluated differently, and that is a GOOD THING. You don't want to be only deemed suitable by your income and status with white power structures, because if that goes... woke wedding drone posted:OK I was kind of messing with you about the PUA thing but I'm not anymore. AINT NOTHING WRONG WITH A BLACK MAN THAT GOES HUNTING SIR. Me and my Nigerian homegirl go deer hunting with bows every year. It's LIT. Mel Mudkiper posted:Have you been following the Coates Black Panther run? I got the first three issues when they released but decided it would be best to just wait for an omnibus than read it piece by piece every month. Same, I'm waiting for the whole run. I just finished the International Iron Man run and gonna follow that right now.
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Nov 8, 2016 21:39
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Doctor Butts posted:How should one dress if they want to attract a quality black woman? Apaprently this is fine https://www.instagram.com/p/_cPXC3ME1E/ This however is unacceptable https://www.instagram.com/p/BGHjWipMEyJ/ Guess which one I wear 95% of the time?
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Nov 8, 2016 21:42
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ImpAtom posted:I'd be curious to hear your opinion on the run. I liked it a lot but obviously different perspectives. Which one IIM or BP?
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Nov 8, 2016 21:44
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Darko posted:Ehhhhh.... Agree. I have a bunch of sports coats specifically to throw over an Iron Man t-shirt and jeans, so that I look like "professional computer nerd" instead of "lazy black dude". And I never really took what she said to heart, plus none of my girlfriends have ever cared, so...
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Nov 8, 2016 21:50
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Doctor Butts posted:I would have told the matchmaker you dress in comic book t-shirts because you're trying to attract nerdy white girls.  woke wedding drone posted:Oh, hunting hunting LOL. Never mind The Shortest Path posted:I read that the same way you did because of the topic and wasn't sure how to call that out. Whoops. 
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Nov 8, 2016 21:55
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7c Nickel posted:As a white dude, do I have to wear a dashiki while in Negrotown? If you look like this in one...  Then hell no.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:05
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Nevvy Z posted:Excuse me but that is a black character.  Excuse me but you don't know colors.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:07
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highme posted:Worked at a restaraunt with a Laotian guy years ago who changed his name to Phoukum when his family emigrated here, his given name was Bay. On the menu was "Phouk's quesadilla" and I was asked several times by old white dudes, trying to be discreet about it, "is this pronounced 'fucks'?". 
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Nov 8, 2016 22:12
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Eej posted:No point doing this when Hong Kong is gonna be erased off the map in our generation! Nah, I asked the question specifically to get answers, and I figured there was going to be a diversity of perspectives, which is always appreciated.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:26
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boner confessor posted:there's a whole dropped plotline from the third season which would have revealed that tobias is an extremely light skinned african american I'm glad they dropped it then, because that would have crossed over from hilarious to hilariously offensive as gently caress.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:42
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Voyager I posted:Crossover question from the Politoons thread: how hosed up is it when cartoonists consistently draw Obama with giant purple lips? It seems pretty hosed up to me. on a scale of The Boondocks to John Parsons sex comics, its Song of the South level racist.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:52
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The Shortest Path posted:...How bad is Song of the South? My grandmother has mentioned it before as being one of her favorite Disney movies but I know literally nothing about it other than that one annoying song. Its bad enough that if you ask Disney about it they will pretend they have no loving clue what you're talking about, to the point where they will make you feel like maybe you made the whole thing up. MC Smoke Sensei posted:Thread, allow me to share this with you, from the bowels of *chan /pol/. I wanted to 
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Nov 8, 2016 23:11
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, and also note that I am diamond-hard at their rage. It has already begun. It might be an opinion poll, but I'm treating this as a fappetizer for the tears and mad to come.
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Dexo posted:I'm tempted to set up a twitter bot that responds to every tweet I have in a twitter list with this image. I mean...why not?
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Nov 8, 2016 23:45
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Hey since we're in the early days of this presumably historic megathread, can we get consensus from the black posters on posting stuff like this? I love to laugh at awful racists as much as the next person, but I could see this easily sliding into PYF Reminder That Black People Aren't Human, and I don't want to get to a point where I feel like I can't risk clicking on this thread when I'm having a bad day cosigned.
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Nov 9, 2016 01:37
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Koalas March posted:if I want to see that poo poo, and sometimes, yeah I like to laugh at people like that, I'll go to the meltdown thread. That's my thoughts on it. It can be linked indirectly from another thread, but not directly posted here. That way those who want to see it can, but those who don't can just keep scrolling.
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Nov 9, 2016 01:54
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Lead out in cuffs posted:These are the guidelines for a group I follow, but don't really post in: Quoting this so I remember to add it to the first post when I get up later, but yes that's a great rule.
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Nov 9, 2016 02:02
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It really ain't. We might have to gofundme some boats back to Africa.
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Nov 9, 2016 04:02
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A Winner is Jew posted:Can my wife and I tag along, or would that be gentrification? It would be colonization then, and yes.
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Nov 9, 2016 05:16
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Talmonis posted:I'm scared for y'all. I'm scared for my family. They don't hate Clinton, as much as they pretend. She's accused far less than Trump's admitted to doing. They hate us. As in anybody who doesn't toe the racist, white male supremacist line. He promised them that he'd gently caress us over. Force us to say "Merry Christmas" and pray to the Christian God. Force trans women into men's rooms. And that's just the petty poo poo he wants to do. Then we have total Republican control of all aspects of government. They're going to grind away every good thing that we've worked for over the past 40 years. Yep, but here we are, thanks to white people yet again.
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Nov 9, 2016 05:47
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blackguy32 posted:I think 66% of white women voted for Trump. So much for the whole solidarity thing. Oh white feminists are going to get DRAGGED to hell and back by WoC. Talmonis posted:Happy to be a traitor when the majority are this awful. If you try to Richard Aoki us, I swear to Christ...
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Nov 9, 2016 05:53
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I loving hate Tariq Nasheed, but this is what black people have to look forward to now. https://twitter.com/tariqnasheed/status/796196763396780033
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Nov 9, 2016 05:58
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I'm moving to Senegal on that rear end. I was gonna do it at 40 but motherfuck all this poo poo. My job allows me to work from anywhere with an internet connection. Nope to the nope nope.
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Nov 9, 2016 07:35
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